Catholics and Protestants married (Full Version)

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RichLP -> Catholics and Protestants married (4/14/2008 7:36:56 PM)

I"m not sure if this was perhaps best off in Faithwalk. But here it goes.

I have two Protestant friends - well, wives of friends - who married Catholics.

By and large they are happy and doing well.

One, "Jennifer," is from a Protestant background. Her mother is still a devout Protestant. At times when Jennifer's husband James, a good friend, invites me to dinner at his house, and his mother-in-law is present, she directs the supper prayer. Even though James' own mother lives with him and is like James a devout Catholic, they defer to Jennifer's mother to pray a very Protestant prayer.

James and I are close, and he's told me that they've had several disagreements about how or why priests or pastors do this or that. Until Jennifer's father passed away a while back, Jennifer and James attended mass and a church service. Now they go to mass only (partly due to time; church services are longer and staying for post-service meals/fellowship takes up a lot of time whereas mass is quick). The children are being raised Catholic.

James is not a religious person; he does not talk much about God, salvation, or the Bible, but he is firm in his "Catholicism" in that his whole family is Catholic and his father's older brother (now deceased) was a priest.

"Sandy" is an older friend. She is 42, and her husband "Christopher" is 44. He is Catholic and she is Protestant. I can tell she was raised, like Jennifer and me, as a Protestant.

In the few times Sandy and Christopher had us over for dinner (including Jennifer and James) as well other friends, I overheard Sandy speak about married life and faith. Because Sandy is older than the other ladies, the other ladies listen to her. Sandy has talked about God, faith, and how the Lord helps.

Christopher has a different viewpoint as he is Catholic, but he said their disagreements don't become fights.

Christopher and James have both said that marrying Protestant women have made them more serious about their own Catholic faiths. Whether or not that was lip service or something that is true, only God (and perhaps their wives) know.

Sandy and Christopher do not yet have children.

Is anyone here a Protestant who married a Catholic? Or a Catholic who married a Protestant? I also know of a 3rd Catholic-Protestant couple. They were both about 25 when they married and from staunch spiritual backgrounds (and again the man was Catholic), but in this case, the couple decided to raise the children within the Protestant tradition.



Ps103 -> RE: Catholics and Protestants married (4/14/2008 7:51:46 PM)

I am not exactly sure what your point is, or how you are able to make such spiritual judgements about your friends, or even what a "very Protestant prayer" might be. Asking God to bless food is not a Catholic/Protestant point of contention--is it?

For the record, my paternal grandparents were a Catholic/Protestant "mix." And I have known several other couples who were a mix, as well. When you live with someone and love them and are married to them, you tend to better understand some of the misconceptions both "sides" have about the other.



RichLP -> RE: Catholics and Protestants married (4/14/2008 7:58:06 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Ps103
I am not exactly sure what your point is, or how you are able to make such spiritual judgements about your friends, or even what a "very Protestant prayer" might be. Asking God to bless food is not a Catholic/Protestant point of contention--is it?

For the record, my paternal grandparents were a Catholic/Protestant "mix." And I have known several other couples who were a mix, as well. When you live with someone and love them and are married to them, you tend to better understand some of the misconceptions both "sides" have about the other.


I'm sorry.

What I meant by Protestant prayer is that it is very similar to all the prayers I've heard throughout my upbringing in Protestant churches. Jennifer's mother makes no reference to the Virgin, saints, the sacred heart of Jesus, only direct to God the Father.

I didn't mean to be making spiritual judgments; I'm just telling you guys what I saw and heard being said/told to me by those friends.



Ps103 -> RE: Catholics and Protestants married (4/14/2008 8:38:21 PM)

My Catholic grandfather's "Grace" was: "Father, make us thankful for these and our many blessings, we ask in Christ's Name, Amen."[;)]

I still am not sure what you are asking.

If you are asking can a Catholic/Protestant marriage work, yes, it can.

If you are asking if it is ideal--well, I would probably say no, but really only because I think husbands and wives should go to church together. If they want to go to both, that would work better than one going to one church and the other going to the other church, though.



RHardin15 -> RE: Catholics and Protestants married (4/15/2008 4:45:16 PM)

I am a Protestant who is planning to marry a Catholic soon. Her family is not extremely religious, and my Church is a very very ... non-traditional Church. However, she likes my Church, and says that once we marry, she plans to attend my Church with me, and only attend Mass with her family, or other times throughout the year sparingly. She also has expressed interest in raising our children protestant, as we both agree that religion doesn't save anyone from Hell, only Jesus does.

Weird, huh? I'm very interested in hearing more stories about marriages like this though, so I can see what kind of interesting things could come up.



deermousie -> RE: Catholics and Protestants married (4/15/2008 5:03:55 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: RHardin15
She also has expressed interest in raising our children protestant, as we both agree that religion doesn't save anyone from Hell, only Jesus does.


As I understand it, the Roman Catholic Church won't marry people who don't pledge (I think it has to be in writing) that any children will be raised RC. So a Catholic marrying a Protestant either is bound to raise kids RC or has to get married outside the church and is considered to be living in fornication because it wasn't an RC wedding. Have I got that right?

My parents were Catholic (dad was in the church twice in his whole life, so obviously he didn't take it seriously) but my mom joined a cult after they married. So, my brother and I weren't raised Catholic and I never got a middle name, and as far as I can tell, neither parent had any relationship with God when I reached adulthood. What a shame.



crh737 -> RE: Catholics and Protestants married (4/15/2008 5:13:44 PM)

When I was married, my husband was raised Protestant, but the rest of his family was raised Catholic. I am Catholic born and raised.

The only problem we had was I was interested in learning and he was interested in self.

God is a Spirit and not a denomination, so I do not see the Big deal.

The important thing is that they believe and pass their faith on to their children.

My neighbor who was protestant changed her denomination to Catholism to marry her husband.

Just because one's denomination is "catholic" oooo that evil word, doesn't mean that we are not saved by our faith in God. There are many of us who read our bibles and know Jesus as our Saviour just like you.

I get real tired of people believing that because one's denomination is "Catholic" means they are unsaved or don't know the Truth!

CRH



RHardin15 -> RE: Catholics and Protestants married (4/15/2008 8:37:26 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: deermousie

quote:

ORIGINAL: RHardin15
She also has expressed interest in raising our children protestant, as we both agree that religion doesn't save anyone from Hell, only Jesus does.


As I understand it, the Roman Catholic Church won't marry people who don't pledge (I think it has to be in writing) that any children will be raised RC. So a Catholic marrying a Protestant either is bound to raise kids RC or has to get married outside the church and is considered to be living in fornication because it wasn't an RC wedding. Have I got that right?

My parents were Catholic (dad was in the church twice in his whole life, so obviously he didn't take it seriously) but my mom joined a cult after they married. So, my brother and I weren't raised Catholic and I never got a middle name, and as far as I can tell, neither parent had any relationship with God when I reached adulthood. What a shame.


We are getting married in a Catholic church, but after looking over all the information that we got when we reserved the day explaining requirements and procedures, there is not anything that says we have to pledge to raise our children Catholic.

Since I am not Catholic, we will be married in an "Outside of Mass" wedding, which obviously means our wedding won't include a mass. It also opens the door to alot of things that aren't allowed in a traditional mass wedding (IE - Less strict code on the dress, and less restriction on music). It also means that her Uncle, who is a Catholic Deacon, will marry us, since we cannot be married by a Priest. If I come across such a thing talking about raising kids Catholics, I'll keep ya posted. It just seems like that would be a good thing to put on initial papers.



dianetavegia -> RE: Catholics and Protestants married (4/17/2008 3:20:54 PM)

RHardin15, our daughter (divorce will be final in May) married a Catholic boy in a full Catholic mass with a priest, all the repeated responses (don't know what they're called), singing, incense burning, etc. She was not allowed to take communion during the service. She was also 5 months pregnant.

I think it depends on the local church. I was told money speaks loudly, but don't know that for a fact.



buckifn -> RE: Catholics and Protestants married (4/17/2008 3:43:05 PM)

There is one Lord, one Faith, and one Baptism..the rest is just words on a paper. I have friends who are of various denominations, but our faith unifies us..if it causes division and confusion I'd say it is time for some serious soul searching.



Auben -> RE: Catholics and Protestants married (4/17/2008 3:43:40 PM)

Things have changed a lot over the years.

My grandmother is catholic. My grandfather (deceased) was Lutheran when they married (1947). He had to convert, promise to raise the children RC, and they were married by a priest in the rectory. My grandfather rarely went to church throughout their life together.

My Baptist SIL married a Catholic man. They were married in a park by a church deacon. The children were baptized as infants and attend CDC because its important to my BIL. They attend both kinds of churches equally and both of them are open to each other's faith. I do find that my BIL is a little more serious than my SIL in this respect.

Catholic and Protestant are both Christians, so I don't think marriage between the two are wrong. I do think that like any couple you need to hash out how you will handle issues of faith BEFORE getting married. That includes how children will be raised, which church you will go to, how certain issues will be taught to children, etc.

My parents were both Catholic when they married. I was partly raised Catholic and partly raised Pentecostal (now that was a change). I married a Baptist. I still attend mass with my grandmother on occasion. There are many good and beautiful things in both traditions. I wish you well.



RHardin15 -> RE: Catholics and Protestants married (4/18/2008 9:06:47 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Auben

Things have changed a lot over the years.

My grandmother is catholic. My grandfather (deceased) was Lutheran when they married (1947). He had to convert, promise to raise the children RC, and they were married by a priest in the rectory. My grandfather rarely went to church throughout their life together.

My Baptist SIL married a Catholic man. They were married in a park by a church deacon. The children were baptized as infants and attend CDC because its important to my BIL. They attend both kinds of churches equally and both of them are open to each other's faith. I do find that my BIL is a little more serious than my SIL in this respect.

Catholic and Protestant are both Christians, so I don't think marriage between the two are wrong. I do think that like any couple you need to hash out how you will handle issues of faith BEFORE getting married. That includes how children will be raised, which church you will go to, how certain issues will be taught to children, etc.

My parents were both Catholic when they married. I was partly raised Catholic and partly raised Pentecostal (now that was a change). I married a Baptist. I still attend mass with my grandmother on occasion. There are many good and beautiful things in both traditions. I wish you well.


This is exactly the kind of situations I wanted to hear about. Thankfully, my girlfriend and I have already talked about many of these situations, and we will continue to talk more about them before our marriage. I think we have a pretty good understanding now, but I will continue to make sure that is the case before we get married.

"Catholic and Protestant are both Christians..."
Let me clarify my thoughts on this, I know plenty of Protestants and Catholics that are not Christians, they just play Church. What is important that the two of us are followers of Christ, not followers of whatever the Church tells us is right. I have grown to LOVE some of the Catholic tradition because it has made me think about things I wouldn't normally put thought into, where my girlfriend is a bit sick of them, and finds alot of it meaningless. I could understand that, since she's been in it her whole life. She has a really good understand on what it means to follow Christ though, and that's what matters to me.



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