RE: Is it acceptable for Christian fam. to kick out adult son for refusing to goto church?
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Is it acceptable for Christian fam. to kick out adult son for refusing to goto church?
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Total Votes : 79
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(last vote on : 5/5/2008 12:34:43 PM)
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RE: Is it acceptable for Christian fam. to kick out adu... - 4/18/2008 2:56:18 PM
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JimboFletch
Posts: 6429
Joined: 4/11/2005
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quote:
ORIGINAL: SovereignIsHe
Open question... Why is biblical reason (or reasoning) seemly suspended in the thread?
John
People change their minds. Parents change their minds. It's life. Only the 10 Commandments were written in stone.
And if you judge a parent for changing their mind as a liar (which I find remarkable) it does NOT suspend the injunction to honor parents.
To borrow a phrase from an old saint, "It's never right to do wrong to do right."
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RE: Is it acceptable for Christian family to kick out a... - 4/18/2008 2:59:18 PM
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JimboFletch
Posts: 6429
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Zedd
Occupation: Pastor
INCREDIBLE!
Remove yourself from this thread.
You could do a lot worse than listening to RC's sage advice and you'd be hard pressed to find much better.
Unless you are only interested in finding validation...
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RE: Is it acceptable for Christian family to kick out a... - 4/18/2008 2:59:57 PM
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SovereignIsHe
Posts: 5921
Joined: 4/15/2005
From: Northern Califonria
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: DenimDiva
She may be feeling a conviction and you're calling it immorality.
It's not from the Holy Spirit...
quote:
If she were an alcoholic and said that you could consume alcohol and then she decided to clean up her act, would you be upset if she no longer allowed alcoholic beverages in her home?
How is that liken to the situation? Her well being is not in the balance if her son doesn't attend church...
John
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RE: Is it acceptable for Christian family to kick out a... - 4/18/2008 3:00:10 PM
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Zedd
Posts: 33
Joined: 4/14/2008
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quote:
ORIGINAL: rcjames
quote:
ORIGINAL: Zedd
Remove yourself from this thread.
Did you ever decide to share with us your beliefs that are so afraid of the Quakers?
I do not think I have ever seen anyone or anything afraid of Quakers?
Thanks
RC
On what basis are you using the word "afraid" to illustrate my situation?
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RE: Is it acceptable for Christian fam. to kick out adu... - 4/18/2008 3:05:22 PM
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SovereignIsHe
Posts: 5921
Joined: 4/15/2005
From: Northern Califonria
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quote:
ORIGINAL: JimboFletch
People change their minds. Parents change their minds. It's life. Only the 10 Commandments were written in stone.
Yes they do... Yet what is right and just is always the same, as well what is wrong and unjust... And that is written in the Word of God and cannot be revoked.
quote:
And if you judge a parent for changing their mind as a liar (which I find remarkable) it does NOT suspend the injunction to honor parents.
If you scroll back I spoke of the fact he should honor his parent... Of course who is held more accountable? The Christian parent, or the non-believing son in regards to God's law?
quote:
To borrow a phrase from an old saint, "It's never right to do wrong to do right."
My point from the start...
John
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RE: Is it acceptable for Christian family to kick out a... - 4/18/2008 3:23:34 PM
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Qtman
Posts: 9587
Joined: 3/21/2006
From: Crimson Tide Country
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quote:
ORIGINAL: SovereignIsHe
quote:
ORIGINAL: DenimDiva
She may be feeling a conviction and you're calling it immorality.
It's not from the Holy Spirit...
quote:
If she were an alcoholic and said that you could consume alcohol and then she decided to clean up her act, would you be upset if she no longer allowed alcoholic beverages in her home?
How is that liken to the situation? Her well being is not in the balance if her son doesn't attend church...
John
I'm sorry but I do not believe any where on your birth certificate or any other documentation youhave it says you have the authority to make a statement as to what does or does not come from the Holy Spirit.
You are the one that does not get what is going on here. You and a few others are quick to judge the mother and you do not have all the facts involved. IOW you do not know enough to make these statements.
_____________________________
STRESS = The internal struggle created when the brain trys to over ride the heart's desire to tell off some jerk that really deserves to be told off.
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RE: Is it acceptable for Christian family to kick out a... - 4/18/2008 3:35:12 PM
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rnershigh
Posts: 869
Joined: 7/15/2005
From: somewhere over the rainbow
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I'm pretty saddened to see the sniping remarks directed at Zedd. I have read all his posts and no where has he been the least rude, but honest with his answers.
Zedd,
While I don't think it's acceptable what she's doing to you, since it appears that you have given going to church a shot more than once and tried to appease your mother...I don't want to sound like a broken record (LOL)...but I think you should try finding another place to live. She is your mother and despite what you may think of as "nagging" she just wants what is best for you, but I can't see this being good to your relationship with her if this continues as it is.
_____________________________
O Grave! where is thy Victory?
O Death! where is thy Sting?
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RE: Is it acceptable for Christian family to kick out a... - 4/18/2008 4:24:16 PM
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Zedd
Posts: 33
Joined: 4/14/2008
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: rnershigh
she just wants what is best for you,
I fail to see any sign of that in her actions.
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RE: Is it acceptable for Christian family to kick out a... - 4/18/2008 4:37:57 PM
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car2ner
Posts: 3024
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: just north of Florida
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You might not want to. You have a point to make. For the record, I don't know if I'd want to keep attending a quaker church (would visit, though). There are many denominations, since people are so differant. What feels like worship to one person feels like noise to another. You have never stated what you believe (would start a whole differant debate) other than " I'm not going to be a christian and you can't make me". O.K. we can't make you. Not all christians are quakers, or catholic, etc.
AS far as dental bills, I doubt anyone is getting socked in the mouth, but there are times when a Dad has to put his foot down in a way that means, This is the End of this! This is usually when an offspring makes the mistake of thinking they know more than their parents and try to push their weight around.
Solution, the same as everyone else said, move into your own place. Learn a little bit more about life.
_____________________________
http://www.car2ner.2ya.com
"May your days be long and your hardships few".
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RE: Is it acceptable for Christian family to kick out a... - 4/18/2008 4:59:59 PM
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rnershigh
Posts: 869
Joined: 7/15/2005
From: somewhere over the rainbow
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Zedd
quote:
ORIGINAL: rnershigh
she just wants what is best for you,
I fail to see any sign of that in her actions.
I know. It's hard to see when you're on the receiving end. When my mother has things to say to me (even now! Hey, a mother is always a mother no matter how old you are.LOL) and I don't want to hear, that's what she tells me, "I only want what's best for you" or "It's because I love you".  Then, she also says, "You'll understand when you're a mother." 
So while you can't see any sign of it in her actions, know that she does more likely want the best for you. She is your mother after all and despite how frustrating it is for you to hear her, what you may think of as annoying, to her is only what she feels is the best for her own son. That's just my take.
And I agree with car2ner, the solution that has been reiterated by everyone: find a new place.
_____________________________
O Grave! where is thy Victory?
O Death! where is thy Sting?
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RE: Is it acceptable for Christian family to kick out a... - 4/18/2008 5:15:14 PM
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Ps103
Posts: 11745
Joined: 4/16/2005
From: Here, now
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Zedd, refresh my memory--what is preventing you from moving into your own place?
_____________________________
Fasten your seatbelts...it's going to be a bumpy night.
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RE: Is it acceptable for Christian family to kick out a... - 4/18/2008 7:19:35 PM
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Zedd
Posts: 33
Joined: 4/14/2008
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Ps103
Zedd, refresh my memory--what is preventing you from moving into your own place?
I wouldn't be able to invest as much time as I'd like into school without going into debt if I were 100% independent.
I might not be able to invest any time into school if I were 100% independent.
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RE: Is it acceptable for Christian family to kick out a... - 4/18/2008 7:23:32 PM
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9drtr
Posts: 1682
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: Toronto the Good
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Zedd
quote:
ORIGINAL: rnershigh
she just wants what is best for you,
I fail to see any sign of that in her actions.
I have bad news for you, Zedd, but she does want what's best for you. It's her actions that are debatable, not her motives.
_____________________________
Edwin
When we know who is coming, how can we worry about what is coming? When the last hour belongs to us, how can we worry about the next minute?
Ross Crighton
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RE: Is it acceptable for Christian family to kick out a... - 4/18/2008 7:27:14 PM
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rnershigh
Posts: 869
Joined: 7/15/2005
From: somewhere over the rainbow
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Zedd
quote:
ORIGINAL: Ps103
Zedd, refresh my memory--what is preventing you from moving into your own place?
I wouldn't be able to invest as much time as I'd like into school without going into debt if I were 100% independent.
I might not be able to invest any time into school if I were 100% independent.
I don't mean to sound unsympathetic, but if that's the case you may want to bite your lip and go to church to placate your mother. If you can't afford it, and don't wish to incur the expenses to find a place of your own (could you share with someone? That helps keeps costs down, and many college students do that) then you will have to abide by your mom's changed rules.
_____________________________
O Grave! where is thy Victory?
O Death! where is thy Sting?
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RE: Is it acceptable for Christian family to kick out a... - 4/18/2008 7:34:44 PM
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keepitreal
Posts: 73
Joined: 12/21/2007
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Zedd
quote:
ORIGINAL: rcjames
quote:
ORIGINAL: Zedd
quote:
ORIGINAL: Ps103
I think they are Quakers.
Yep!
So you move into a Quaker home and expect not to be required to go to Church.
You said you were in college; how did you pass the entrance exam.
Move out, support yourself, and do what ever you want.
Thanks
RC
Occupation: Pastor
INCREDIBLE!
Remove yourself from this thread.
Wow, that post tells me everything I need to know about your situation. Your mother should have put you out on your behind for that attitude alone, regardless of church attendance.
BTW, you may or may not be a big enough boy to realize this, but you can't order people off your thread. Message boards don't work that way.
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RE: Is it acceptable for Christian fam. to kick out adu... - 4/19/2008 2:25:00 AM
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fallenstar
Posts: 132
Joined: 11/29/2007
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If he's an adult, it's his choice on whether he wants to go to church or not. Just because he does'nt go to church does'nt mean he is'nt a Christian, everybody has their own way to worship God. As far as kicking him out goes, is that really acceptable? Forcing religon on your kids, even though they are adults? You should never make anybody be somthing they don't want to be, let them do it themselves, cause if you push them to hard it will defidently backfire.
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RE: Is it acceptable for Christian fam. to kick out adu... - 4/19/2008 8:51:45 AM
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car2ner
Posts: 3024
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: just north of Florida
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quote:
Just because he does'nt go to church does'nt mean he is'nt a Christian, everybody has their own way to worship God.
He said he's not a christian. They aren't forcing him to be a christian. They are making church a condition for free room and board. I suspect that this came up in the heat of an agruement. Just a guess.
_____________________________
http://www.car2ner.2ya.com
"May your days be long and your hardships few".
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RE: Is it acceptable for Christian family to kick out a... - 4/19/2008 10:06:11 AM
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Ps103
Posts: 11745
Joined: 4/16/2005
From: Here, now
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Zedd
quote:
ORIGINAL: Ps103
Zedd, refresh my memory--what is preventing you from moving into your own place?
I wouldn't be able to invest as much time as I'd like into school without going into debt if I were 100% independent.
I might not be able to invest any time into school if I were 100% independent.
Many people work their ways through school without going into debt and graduate with honors and are 100% independent.
It is a matter of priorities.
You can do it.
_____________________________
Fasten your seatbelts...it's going to be a bumpy night.
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RE: Is it acceptable for Christian family to kick out a... - 4/19/2008 10:17:46 AM
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Roberta_
Posts: 7421
Joined: 9/28/2007
From: East Bay Area
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quote:
ORIGINAL: rnershigh
I'm pretty saddened to see the sniping remarks directed at Zedd. I have read all his posts and no where has he been the least rude, but honest with his answers.
Actually, from what I've read of his posts, he and his mom are a lot a like. They both apparently think they are right and the other one is wrong and they aren't going to budge on the issue.
< Message edited by DenimDiva -- 4/19/2008 10:31:59 AM >
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RE: Is it acceptable for Christian family to kick out a... - 4/19/2008 10:26:49 AM
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rcjames
Posts: 5771
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From: Oklahoma
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Zedd
I might not be able to invest any time into school if I were 100% independent.
I know hundreds of folks who work full time, support themselves, and go to college full time; why are you different.
quote:
On what basis are you using the word "afraid" to illustrate my situation?
I can think of no other reason to shun a Quaker gathering.
Thanks
RC
_____________________________
Just a country Preacher's humble opinion
Read the first chapter of my latest book here;
http://www.deliveranceofsara.com
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RE: Is it acceptable for Christian family to kick out a... - 4/19/2008 10:49:26 AM
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relady
Posts: 1212
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: Greater St. Louis Metro
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quote:
Many people work their ways through school without going into debt and graduate with honors and are 100% independent. I hear this a lot, but i have never met one who did this and did it while going to school full time - well I had one friend who did a 3 year killl me program, but even she wasn't fully indpendent, she had a husband supporting her and was 35 years old. And she did not do it without debt. I have never met a young adult who was able to fully support themselves and go the traditional college route and finish in the normal time frame with no debt. Usually something has to give and if they have a full time job it is usually college that takes longer. Nothing wrong with that, but I would never force my child into that kind of decision over going to church.
quote:
I know hundreds of folks who work full time, support themselves, and go to college full time; why are you different. Actually, my son is one of them. In addition to work and school he is in a rock band and has a FT girlfriend. However, his college is not a traditional college program. Going the way he is going would take him probably 6-7 years to finish a traditional degree. The way it's going, it's going to take him 3 years to finish a 2 year program. And he will have a load of debt. The load is almost backbreaking. Yes, people do it, but it's certainly not the recommended option.
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RE: Is it acceptable for Christian family to kick out a... - 4/19/2008 10:51:15 AM
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Zedd
Posts: 33
Joined: 4/14/2008
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quote:
ORIGINAL: rcjames
I can think of no other reason to shun a Quaker gathering.
Thanks
RC
Go back a few pages in the thread I've given plenty.
And as far as your attacks on my intelligence go, give it a rest. Anyone who reads this thread with the exception of you it seems can see I have no trouble articulating my feelings on this issue into a moral argument. A third of your community even agrees with me.
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RE: Is it acceptable for Christian fam. to kick out adu... - 4/19/2008 11:07:23 AM
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Wild-Rose
Posts: 427
Joined: 1/11/2006
From: Upstate NY
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quote:
M] "Isn't it amazing, Zedd, how kidney beans are in the shape of a kidney and they also are good for your kidneys? God is an amazing creator!"
[Z] "No. I don't think it is.
Zedd, please consider that there is middle ground here. You don't have to agree with her and you don't have to be silent. You can engage her in conversation respectfully.
Well, Mom, kidney beans are shaped like the kidney just like Lima beans are shaped like Lima, Peru" Smile or wink so that she knows you're joking. Or just have a conversation about beans or recipes or food in general. My point is that when she throws the ball in your court, you are free to take the conversation in another direction. Just engage her in conversation. I have a 20 year old son and we talk about all kinds of crazy things (time travel, string theory, politics) Half the time I don't understand what he's talking about, but I just jump in and converse and we have great fun.
I realize that this does not solve the problem of church or no church, but you can engage her in conversation and you can be respectful doing it. It might lessen the tension anyway.
_____________________________
Wild-Rose
Rejoice that your name is written in heaven. Luke 10:20
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RE: Is it acceptable for Christian family to kick out a... - 4/19/2008 11:12:43 AM
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rcjames
Posts: 5771
Joined: 7/15/2005
From: Oklahoma
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Zedd
And as far as your attacks on my intelligence go, give it a rest. Anyone who reads this thread with the exception of you it seems can see I have no trouble articulating my feelings on this issue into a moral argument. A third of your community even agrees with me.
I do not believe I was attacking your intellengence, just wondering why you cannot live on your own, work, and still go to school as millions of other Americans do?
Thsnks
RC
_____________________________
Just a country Preacher's humble opinion
Read the first chapter of my latest book here;
http://www.deliveranceofsara.com
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