RE: eHarmony advice: How to navigate the one night stand
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RE: eHarmony advice: How to navigate the one night stand - 4/21/2008 9:50:28 PM
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Prairiehiker
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Also, I think the poster admitted that E has taken the "article" down. If it was an actual article written by an E staff. I looked at the website and I saw an advice column where members are allowed to ask other members questions. It's like a forum. Perhaps, we should check if the "article" in question is written by a member. Also, just to repeat, it was taken down.
Do you think that there might be another way of handling this instead of outrightly banning Eharmony? I mean, there's an open forum there for members to ask questions, and give advice. Could the Christian members use those forums to share their values to the other E members without being judgmental? I mean, who knows what could happen if we actually interact with non Christians.
I'm a huge supporter of Focus on the Family. I never miss Dr Dobson's broadcasts and I would be very sad if they are ever associated with anything "questionable". However, before I start jumping into conclussions, I would investigate it further. And I wouldn't throw out all the books that Dr Dobson have written. He's written some really good stuff and one bad mistake doesn't automatically cancel all that!
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RE: eHarmony advice: How to navigate the one night stand - 4/22/2008 12:31:52 AM
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lpt
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From: Colorado Springs
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Prairiehiker
Also, I think the poster admitted that E has taken the "article" down. If it was an actual article written by an E staff. I looked at the website and I saw an advice column where members are allowed to ask other members questions. It's like a forum. Perhaps, we should check if the "article" in question is written by a member. Also, just to repeat, it was taken down.
Do you think that there might be another way of handling this instead of outrightly banning Eharmony? I mean, there's an open forum there for members to ask questions, and give advice. Could the Christian members use those forums to share their values to the other E members without being judgmental? I mean, who knows what could happen if we actually interact with non Christians.
I'm a huge supporter of Focus on the Family. I never miss Dr Dobson's broadcasts and I would be very sad if they are ever associated with anything "questionable". However, before I start jumping into conclussions, I would investigate it further. And I wouldn't throw out all the books that Dr Dobson have written. He's written some really good stuff and one bad mistake doesn't automatically cancel all that!
The article in question was not from a mere member. It was "advice" from eHarmony itself. They acknowledged that in a recent "mea culpa" editorial.
Yes, they've been caught. And yes, they've removed the article. What I have to ask is, "Why was this article let through in the first place?" It was no accident. There was the author, the graphic artist, the editor, the person who entered the article into their database, the eHarmony employees who saw it and didn't disagree with it, the person who compiled the newsletter that announced the article, and so on. Nobody stopped this from being published, even after many people left comments on it, even after many people contacted eHarmony to drop their membership. They finally unpublished it after Focus on the Family and others publicized it, and people started unsubscribing from eHarmony.
This article appeared on eHarmony not by accident, but because of an ideology that demands more market share, an ideology spearheaded and affirmed by NCW. In my opinion, they are more concerned about making money than about honoring the Lord by bringing two people together in marriage. They've apologized for their little indiscretion, in my opinion, because they don't want to lose members, thus demonstrating that, again, they seem to be motivated by money, and not by principle.
We at Focus on the Family have a lot of checks and balances in place. I don't see how something like this could ever be published on any Focus on the Family ministry Web site. Honestly.
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RE: eHarmony advice: How to navigate the one night stand - 4/22/2008 7:16:28 PM
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sharonjef2007
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Well lpt.....
Boundless has printed some pretty "in very bad taste" articles and continue to do so. It really all depends on your point of view. I'm not saying the e-harmony article was in good taste or appropriate and I am glad they have taken it down. But the company has also gone away from being a "Christian" site. In fact, I'm not really sure they ever did call themselves a "Christian" site. The founder is a self professed Christian, but a Christian based company that does not make.
But really, is e-harmony any different then meeting people in person out there in our day to day lives? We still need to be getting to know people and discerning if they are Christian or a good match for us. It is no different then meeting someone online.
I'm curious though. Did you come here to this forum to "tell on" e-harmony or are you a regular poster and member here? Is FOTF using this site now as a forum?
< Message edited by sharonjef2007 -- 4/22/2008 7:23:53 PM >
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RE: eHarmony advice: How to navigate the one night stand - 4/22/2008 7:51:45 PM
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trinigirl722
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Prairiehiker
... Could the Christian members use those forums to share their values to the other E members without being judgmental? I mean, who knows what could happen if we actually interact with non Christians.
Prairiehiker:
To answer your question, before I asked to be removed from their mailing list, I read their advice column and saw where Christian members did share their values, and I did also. In general, we were basically slammed by the non-Christians on the forums. Which is not necessarily a bad thing ... probably pretty predictable. And who knows, maybe it gave them something to think about. The Christians on the forum were being salt and light, as Jesus commanded. But basically the non-Christian responses were that they thought the Christian values were Victorian, and they told Christians to keep scripture in church and not to go forcing their values on other people. So, that's what happened, from what I saw. Again, not that surprising. Perhaps it gave others something to think about.
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RE: eHarmony advice: How to navigate the one night stand - 4/22/2008 10:51:12 PM
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lpt
Posts: 159
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From: Colorado Springs
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quote:
ORIGINAL: sharonjef2007
Well lpt.....
Boundless has printed some pretty "in very bad taste" articles and continue to do so. It really all depends on your point of view. I'm not saying the e-harmony article was in good taste or appropriate and I am glad they have taken it down. But the company has also gone away from being a "Christian" site. In fact, I'm not really sure they ever did call themselves a "Christian" site. The founder is a self professed Christian, but a Christian based company that does not make.
But really, is e-harmony any different then meeting people in person out there in our day to day lives? We still need to be getting to know people and discerning if they are Christian or a good match for us. It is no different then meeting someone online.
I'm curious though. Did you come here to this forum to "tell on" e-harmony or are you a regular poster and member here? Is FOTF using this site now as a forum?
Sharon -- I've been a member of this forum for a couple of years, and have posted some 140 comments. We have our own blog, which allows comments, and so have no need to use this site as a forum. I'm simply here because, as editor of a publication for Christian singles, I enjoy keeping in touch with Christian singles and the issues relevant to them.
You mention that Boundless has printed some pretty "in very bad taste" articles, and continues to do so. Please either e-mail me at editor@boundless.org or leave a comment here identifying those articles. As editor, I want to ensure that nothing we publish is in bad taste. It concerns me that you'd see some of our work as such.
Yes, eHarmony began as a Christian matching service. Its founder is a Christian man, and his intention was to provide a service for Christian singles. He got his big break by associating with Focus on the Family, after all. Furthermore, eHarmony is the sponsor with top billing at both Christianity Today Singles and Crosswalk Singles; they are clearly marketing themselves as a Christian matching service. My intention in pointing out their duplicity is to empower those on this forum to be able to make wise decisions about how they spend their money.
I do look forward to hearing back from you, Sharon.
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RE: eHarmony advice: How to navigate the one night stand - 4/23/2008 12:37:35 AM
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gaylel1
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From: Southern California, the land of Fruit and nuts...
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Lpt,
We do not see eye to eye on some things, but I want to commend you for warning the body of Christ about this. This has been a long time coming. I had a feeling someone sounded the alarm about this because there are too many Christians that are being decived, even those who run business which are Christian, yet we as single christians get duped without being educated and w/o the facts. This is not about FOTF, nor its publication Boundless, but a so-called Christian dating service who is doing a discervice to the body to do something which is not a good Christian witness.
Thank you Lpt, there are people outhere on this board that are discerning Christians and thank you for speaking to us who are trying to fight the fight in a world which bibical values are not the norm these days and including single christians.
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or http://www.gayleplace.blogspot.com....
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RE: eHarmony advice: How to navigate the one night stand - 4/23/2008 12:41:34 AM
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Dakotasunbeam
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I've never heard of boundless.org before. This is all very interesting.
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RE: eHarmony advice: How to navigate the one night stand - 4/23/2008 8:17:03 PM
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azroadrunner
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Joined: 4/13/2007
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boundless.org was where I learned about Crosswalk. I've been reading their articles for years and have never seen anything that I considered "in bad taste."
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Love anything, and your heart will certainly be wrung and possibly broken ... lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket ... it will change ... it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. -C.S. Lewis
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RE: eHarmony advice: How to navigate the one night stand - 4/24/2008 12:08:32 AM
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trinigirl722
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From: Dallas, TX
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I just read the Boundless article, LPT. Thanks to you and Focus on the Family for blowing the whistle. It needed to be done. This is really sad that the EHarmony web site has gone in this direction.
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RE: eHarmony advice: How to navigate the one night stand - 4/24/2008 9:21:44 PM
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John_O
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quote:
ORIGINAL: sharonjef2007
I did take this thread off topic....sorry for that... 
Fortunately, I don't have to worry about needing the dating service for e-harmony. But, their services don't stop there. I think they have a service for marriage too.
So, what do we do now? Is all the information on e-harmony bad or do we just fish through it to find the useful stuff?
A little leaven leaveneth the whole lump.
_____________________________
Psalms 46:10 Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth.
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RE: eHarmony advice: How to navigate the one night stand - 4/24/2008 10:24:25 PM
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besiderself
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Dakotasunbeam
I've never heard of boundless.org before. This is all very interesting.
Dakota;
In our family we read Boundless regularly. We actually used to read it a LOT more often, but now, years later, we've tapered off a bit as our lives have changed. My oldest daughter who is now in a relationship has read it for years and keeps us updated on any new articles of interest. Do go check it out.
besiderself
_____________________________
Deep summer is when laziness finds respectability
Sam Keen
Besiderself's Batty Belfry
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RE: eHarmony advice: How to navigate the one night stand - 5/17/2008 12:17:09 PM
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derryderrydown
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Thanks, LPT, for posting this! I was surprised at the tongue-lashing you originally got. I was a subscriber to eHarmony for almost 3 years. I despise self-help books, but read one of NC Warren's books and thought it was the most sensible book I had every read on singles and relationships (the idea of matching values). When I first heard the ads on the radio, I joined up. Despite being in one of the largest cities in the US, I received very few matches. I had a number of nice email pals and several nice dates, but soon realized that being a middle-aged woman, I was not going to meet anyone, short of a miracle. One man I met said he got several matches a day, while I got perhaps 3 a month! I have since moved to the country and have "given up".
I'm sorry to hear that eHarmony is loosening its standards in this way, but I never read the articles anyway (self-help advice). I still think their matching method is better than anything I saw out there and if a person is insistent on only being matched with those who share their religious beliefs, they will find the people they search for.
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"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest."
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