RE: Roberta asked: "would you let your son pierce his ears?"

RE: Roberta asked: "would you let your son pierce his ears?" (Full Version)

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OLEEguacamole -> RE: Roberta asked: "would you let your son pierce his ears?" (4/17/2008 5:08:45 PM)
i prefer my boys don't do it. if they do on their 18th birthday, they won't be kicked out. it's not sin, it's style. i know a family (christian) whose dad has multiple piercings, it would be kind of silly for them to say no.

faroukfarouk -> RE: Roberta asked: "would you let your son pierce his ears?" (4/17/2008 5:13:19 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: PrincessDonna That seems to follow with the logic that kids/teens are going to have sex no matter what you say, so you might as well just put them on the pill, so they can do it "safely". Or as some parents think...kids/teens are going to drink, so I might as well supply it to them here at home, so I can make sure they are safe. It's a parenting philosophy my husband and I totally disagree with, as do many on this forum, I believe. We don't just allow our children to do something we don't want them to do, just so they don't get hurt if they decide to disobey. I see where you are coming from. There is one thing though: earrings and condoms are rather distinct, in my reckoning. We all look at things differently, I guess. I believe in looking at each distinct thing on its merits and if there isn't a real and substantive connection with two distinct things, I would tend to think that the earring thing is more cultural and subjective, rather than being part of a rather startling linkage. (Two cents.) Take care.

Sunnymom -> RE: Roberta asked: "would you let your son pierce his ears?" (4/17/2008 5:39:25 PM)
My answer would be "No". We wouldn't allow a boy piercings any more than we'd allow him to wear a mini skirt and high heels. One day that might be culturally acceptable too, and considered to be no big deal- a style, a harmless fad. Eventually one has to put their foot down somewhere, so we put ours down WAY over there.[;)] I saw some boys the other day at the mall with HUGE piercings- they looked like bottle caps in their ears. It reminds me of pics I see in the New Tribes Mission newsletters. As people stray from God they begin abusing their bodies with everything from piercings and markings to nakedness, fornication, and gluttony. It is a slope that starts somewhere, and I am not saying that I know where the slope starts, but I am all for staying as far away from the edge as possible. There are some areas where my comfort zone is quite broad, but that isn't one of them.[:)]

faroukfarouk -> RE: Roberta asked: "would you let your son pierce his ears?" (4/17/2008 5:44:14 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: mrsdash i prefer my boys don't do it. if they do on their 18th birthday, they won't be kicked out. it's not sin, it's style. i know a family (christian) whose dad has multiple piercings, it would be kind of silly for them to say no. I guess it's a matter of style, just as you say. (I'm not now talking about the invasive - and ugly? - gauging of the ears, any more than ear piercing for girls need involve the heavy gauging.) And yes, it wouldn't make much sense in a family where the dad already wears earrings to try to stop the boys from having them as well, I agree.

Jenny-Fair -> RE: Roberta asked: "would you let your son pierce his ears?" (4/17/2008 6:24:53 PM)
quote: Yes, that's why it may just be best to take them and have it done hygienically when they ask (within reason!! lol) rather that risk them doing their own dirty needle-in-the-washroom job. Take care. Well, that's ridiculous. To protect a child from consequences by doing whatever they please for them? LOL I have not had to say no to earrings on either of my boys--they haven't wanted them. But if I said no and they did it themselves I would HOPE they got to suffer from an infection! Saucy, we (the boys and myself) love your tattoo rule!

Jenny-Fair -> RE: Roberta asked: "would you let your son pierce his ears?" (4/17/2008 6:31:24 PM)
quote: saw some boys the other day at the mall with HUGE piercings- they looked like bottle caps in their ears. It reminds me of pics I see in the New Tribes Mission newsletters. me, too! My cousin has those and I keep thinking..like tattoos, Dude, there is NO going back! It isn't like you can take those out and have normal ears again..no, you will forever be catching them on your bedposts, seatbelt, watch, hairbrush--ouch! My ears are double-pierced and I regret the second holes--and hardly ever use either set. Btw, I read some of this thread outloud to my boys, ages 12.5 and 15--they think an infection is warranted as well for any boy who goes behind his mom's back and impales himself.[;)] And, just so you know, the 'diseases going around' have nothing to do with piercing your ear unless you are using the same needle some other dude used. Any infection you get if you are too dumb to light a match and take care of the hole you make will be either tetanus or bacteria that you live with anyway.

peculiar_lady2 -> RE: Roberta asked: "would you let your son pierce his ears?" (4/17/2008 6:38:23 PM)
the rule in our house is like Sunnymom said, this one falls under things that are for girls, not boys. We wouldn't allow any of our kids in our house to have a tattoo....even if they were over the age of not needing our consent. Neither of us like tattoos..or the fact that they are permanent. If one of our kids were to get one while living in our house, I don't know that we wouldn't say anything to them....because IMO it would only be out of rebellion...and that isn't tolerated at all in our house. Of course it's not something that we will deal with anytime soon, since our oldest is only 8. Anyway...earrings...NO....not on a boy.

Tinkerbell_ -> RE: Roberta asked: "would you let your son pierce his ears?" (4/17/2008 8:10:35 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: peculiar_lady2 the rule in our house is like Sunnymom said, this one falls under things that are for girls, not boys. We wouldn't allow any of our kids in our house to have a tattoo....even if they were over the age of not needing our consent. Neither of us like tattoos..or the fact that they are permanent. If one of our kids were to get one while living in our house, I don't know that we wouldn't say anything to them....because IMO it would only be out of rebellion...and that isn't tolerated at all in our house. Of course it's not something that we will deal with anytime soon, since our oldest is only 8. Anyway...earrings...NO....not on a boy. I don't necessarily agree with this statement. Some people just like tattoos. I have a friend who got one when he turned 18 and he wasn't rebelling...it's just the age that his father said would be acceptable. As far as ear piercings...right now the Things aren't allowed to do it. That's because of my preference as their mother. When they're older and can make the decision on their own...then I would hope they would come to me and at least seek my guidance and suggestions. Same with tattoos. I've actually been shopping for different ones but haven't done it yet. The timing just isn't right. shrug

zoebob -> RE: Roberta asked: "would you let your son pierce his ears?" (4/17/2008 8:13:45 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: PrincessGiselle quote: ORIGINAL: peculiar_lady2 the rule in our house is like Sunnymom said, this one falls under things that are for girls, not boys. We wouldn't allow any of our kids in our house to have a tattoo....even if they were over the age of not needing our consent. Neither of us like tattoos..or the fact that they are permanent. If one of our kids were to get one while living in our house, I don't know that we wouldn't say anything to them....because IMO it would only be out of rebellion...and that isn't tolerated at all in our house. Of course it's not something that we will deal with anytime soon, since our oldest is only 8. Anyway...earrings...NO....not on a boy. I don't necessarily agree with this statement. Some people just like tattoos. I have a friend who got one when he turned 18 and he wasn't rebelling...it's just the age that his father said would be acceptable. In your friends case they did it when they were told they would be allowed and it isn't rebellion. However, I suspect that Sarah's children will know how they feel about tattoos and to go out and get one when the law says they can but if they are still living in their parents' home who don't approve then it is rebellion.

betterisoneday -> RE: Roberta asked: "would you let your son pierce his ears?" (4/17/2008 8:18:29 PM)
Well it would be the same discussion as a daughter wanting to pierce her ears, have to have a well thought out reason for it, shown themselves to be responsible enough to take care of them, etc. I'm hoping my sons have inherited my dislike for earrings on anyone. Tattoos, they'd have to wait until they were 18 and I would still want them to have a well thought out reason. And research on their own any risks/side effects of putting permanent ink down into your skin, but then I come from a family where no males (or females) have tattoos and they've all been military so maybe we're genetically predisposed to not liking them [:D] (as an aside I 'personally' think tattoos are as ugly as earrings on people)

OLEEguacamole -> RE: Roberta asked: "would you let your son pierce his ears?" (4/17/2008 8:58:10 PM)
it seems unreasonable for a parent to put a, not under our roof even after you turn age 18, for something that is not a sin. "rebellion" is a harsh term for an act that is not sin. it's becoming a person that can now act according to his/her own wishes. again, not including sin.

bluestone -> RE: Roberta asked: "would you let your son pierce his ears?" (4/17/2008 9:22:29 PM)
I agree with MrsDash on this one. It is a fashion and fad issue, not a sin issue. I would not call it rebellion, only preference. I may hate the color green, but would not tell my 18 year old they are tossed out for wearing it. I would not sign for a kid to get tattooed, due to the permanence and the thought that they will change their mind about it in a few months if not years.

faroukfarouk -> RE: Roberta asked: "would you let your son pierce his ears?" (4/17/2008 10:06:24 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Jenny-Fair quote: Yes, that's why it may just be best to take them and have it done hygienically when they ask (within reason!! lol) rather that risk them doing their own dirty needle-in-the-washroom job. Take care. Well, that's ridiculous. To protect a child from consequences by doing whatever they please for them? LOL I have not had to say no to earrings on either of my boys--they haven't wanted them. But if I said no and they did it themselves I would HOPE they got to suffer from an infection! I guess there are infections and infections. (Easy to be wise after the event, and I guess it won't necessarily be HIV...) But I also reckon, reading some of the replies, if the parent in the first place has a very strong predispositon against boys' earrings (and fair, enough, some parents do, it's the parent's call, after all), it may affect even the level of concern which they may have about the danger of infections. I guess that is inevitable. Yes, bluestone, it's more of a fashion /style thing, I think.

zoebob -> RE: Roberta asked: "would you let your son pierce his ears?" (4/17/2008 10:09:25 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: mrsdash it seems unreasonable for a parent to put a, not under our roof even after you turn age 18, for something that is not a sin. "rebellion" is a harsh term for an act that is not sin. it's becoming a person that can now act according to his/her own wishes. again, not including sin. But the thing is, some people do consider tattoos and maybe even piercings to be a sin...as in deliberately mutilating and damaging the temple of the Holy Spirit for vanity. ETA: This is not the place to debate that... Yes or No with why you would/wouldn't allow is one thing. Turning it into a debate of whether these things are sin is another. Just realize that some people have well thought out reasons to think of these things as sin

peculiar_lady2 -> RE: Roberta asked: "would you let your son pierce his ears?" (4/17/2008 10:21:24 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: PrincessGiselle quote: ORIGINAL: peculiar_lady2 the rule in our house is like Sunnymom said, this one falls under things that are for girls, not boys. We wouldn't allow any of our kids in our house to have a tattoo....even if they were over the age of not needing our consent. Neither of us like tattoos..or the fact that they are permanent. If one of our kids were to get one while living in our house, I don't know that we wouldn't say anything to them....because IMO it would only be out of rebellion...and that isn't tolerated at all in our house. Of course it's not something that we will deal with anytime soon, since our oldest is only 8. Anyway...earrings...NO....not on a boy. I don't necessarily agree with this statement. I don't really care if you agree with that statement or not....that is what we feel is appropriate for OUR household...and you really have no right to question our stance on that. I don't care what anyone else thinks, that's where we stand on it...period. As long as our kids live in OUR house, whether they are under age or over age of being an adult, they will follow OUR rules and what WE feel is appropriate...whether they feel that way or not. quote: However, I suspect that Sarah's children will know how they feel about tattoos and to go out and get one when the law says they can but if they are still living in their parents' home who don't approve then it is rebellion. exactly....we have never hidden from our kids the fact that this is a house rule of ours. I don't care if the neighbor down the street has it, I don't care if the pastor's son has it, I don't care if you can find it in the Bible...WE do not think it is appropriate for OUR kids. They are being raised to know what we believe. If they grow up and move out then they can make their own decisions about whatever, but until they no longer live under our roof, they will follow our rules...any deviance of those rules is rebellious. quote: it seems unreasonable for a parent to put a, not under our roof even after you turn age 18, for something that is not a sin. it is not unreasonable to have expectations in our house of how things will be run or how people will act. quote: "rebellion" is a harsh term for an act that is not sin. it's becoming a person that can now act according to his/her own wishes. again, not including sin. it is a sin if we tell them not to, that we don't agree with it, and that we do not give them permission to do it, and they go and do it anyway...that is rebellion quote: I agree with MrsDash on this one. It is a fashion and fad issue, not a sin issue. I would not call it rebellion, only preference. I may hate the color green, but would not tell my 18 year old they are tossed out for wearing it. I don't like the color pink either (in fact it's my LEAST favorite color of all of them), but I still let my girls wear it...and I let them pick that color for the decor in their room. However, comparing a dislike of a color to the dislike of a tattoo or boy getting an earring is ...well, it's not even comparable....they are on totally different plains. I did not come in here to get told I am wrong in my stance....I answered the question the way WE feel OUR house should run...because of our own personal convictions about it and because of the way both my husband and I were raised. I really don't care what everyone else thinks about how our house runs...I was simply answering the OP's question...not asking for others to tell me how wrong I am on this. WE feel that this is a hill we would be willing to die on....FOR US. Sorry...I must have missed the part of the OP where they were wanting this to be a debate and bashing thread for those that don't agree with their own opinion....I don't agree, and you aren't going to change my opinion on that.

faroukfarouk -> RE: Roberta asked: "would you let your son pierce his ears?" (4/17/2008 10:25:41 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: zoebob quote: ORIGINAL: mrsdash it seems unreasonable for a parent to put a, not under our roof even after you turn age 18, for something that is not a sin. "rebellion" is a harsh term for an act that is not sin. it's becoming a person that can now act according to his/her own wishes. again, not including sin. But the thing is, some people do consider tattoos and maybe even piercings to be a sin...as in deliberately mutilating and damaging the temple of the Holy Spirit for vanity. Well maybe they do, fair enough. It's the parent's call. As far as what is normative, however, I guess for the rest of us what the Bible appears to teach, or doesn't, as the case may be, is likely to score the most highly. Eg., in Ezekiel 16, the Lord Himself gives Zion earrings, (even a nose ring); and I guess in symbolic terms they represent undeserved blessing/imputed favour upon the object of the Lord's grace and mercy ('when thou wast polluted in thine own blood'). The passage preaches well, anyway. I guess for the subject of something as subjective as earrings, the fact that the Lord Himself has seen fit to describe Himself as having given earrings, makes it hard to argue that the thing in itself is wrong. Likes and dislikes, yes. The privilege of parents to say no, by all means. But actually 'wrong' in the sense of unscriptural? I don't think we can say that. It's interesting also that in Ps. 40, where it's recorded Messianically, 'Mine ears hast thou opened', the word 'opened' there, in the Hebrew is 'digged', i.e., pierced, and the reference is to the bondervant who, on being offered his freedom, chooses to serve his master willingly and always; in itself, the theme is carried on to the Perfect Servant of Philippians 2, obedient unto death. All symbolic, of course. So in a rambling way, I guess my point is: boys, or girls, don't necessarily 'need' earrings, and parents have the absolute right to say no. But to try to build an aura of absolute 'wrongness' around girls or boys' earrings is hard to do from Scripture, and I guess there is no point to try to do so, because there is enough evidence, at least sybolically, in the other direction, in fact. (Breathes and takes a sip of tea after that marathon...)

OLEEguacamole -> RE: Roberta asked: "would you let your son pierce his ears?" (4/17/2008 10:32:20 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: peculiar_lady2 I did not come in here to get told I am wrong in my stance....I answered the question the way WE feel OUR house should run...because of our own personal convictions about it and because of the way both my husband and I were raised. I really don't care what everyone else thinks about how our house runs...I was simply answering the OP's question...not asking for others to tell me how wrong I am on this. WE feel that this is a hill we would be willing to die on....FOR US. Sorry...I must have missed the part of the OP where they were wanting this to be a debate and bashing thread for those that don't agree with their own opinion....I don't agree, and you aren't going to change my opinion on that.[/color] it was not my intention to BASH. and i was under the impression more than one poster said not under my roof. maybe i read too fast and it was only one. only you? i wasn't thinking of you in particular. yes i do have a different opinion, and i voiced it. technically the OP only asked, if. so anything other than yes, or no or maybe should be considered uncalled for? i thought though that this would be a discussion, not just a poll.

faroukfarouk -> RE: Roberta asked: "would you let your son pierce his ears?" (4/17/2008 10:39:09 PM)
MRSDASH: quote: yes i do have a different opinion, and i voiced it. Yes, and it's the sort of thing about which one can reasonably expect there will be different opinions. It's not an absolute, one way or another, otherwise we might just as well regard Romans 14, the charter of freedom of conscience, as not part of Scripture, which would be wrong. Take care, and God bless.

peculiar_lady2 -> RE: Roberta asked: "would you let your son pierce his ears?" (4/17/2008 10:41:35 PM)
quote: and i was under the impression more than one poster said not under my roof. maybe i read too fast and it was only one. only you? i wasn't thinking of you in particular. no it was not just me with this stance....but you posted that right after mine. Whether it was or wasn't just me, it still isn't right IMO to tell others how they are wrong in something that is their own personal conviction, esp since it has been pointed out so nicely that it ISN'T a "sin" issue. It was a combination of several posts that were quoting me and tearing my post apart though that got me mad. I did not come on here or post in this thread to be torn apart. That is our stance whether you believe in it or not...your stance on it doesn't change our opinion in our house. ("your" being a general statement, not you in particular). I personally don't mind "discussing"...anyone that has been around here long enough knows I don't mind that...but I do NOT like having my posts torn apart and quoted and being told that I am wrong when it's not a matter of right or wrong, it's a matter of personal preference.

OLEEguacamole -> RE: Roberta asked: "would you let your son pierce his ears?" (4/17/2008 10:48:08 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: peculiar_lady2 quote: and i was under the impression more than one poster said not under my roof. maybe i read too fast and it was only one. only you? i wasn't thinking of you in particular. no it was not just me with this stance....but you posted that right after mine. Whether it was or wasn't just me, it still isn't right IMO to tell others how they are wrong in something that is their own personal conviction, esp since it has been pointed out so nicely that it ISN'T a "sin" issue. It was a combination of several posts that were quoting me and tearing my post apart though that got me mad. I did not come on here or post in this thread to be torn apart. That is our stance whether you believe in it or not...your stance on it doesn't change our opinion in our house. ("your" being a general statement, not you in particular). I personally don't mind "discussing"...anyone that has been around here long enough knows I don't mind that...but I do NOT like having my posts torn apart and quoted and being told that I am wrong when it's not a matter of right or wrong, it's a matter of personal preference. i really did not mean to make you feel that way. i wasn't careful enough and i'm sorry.

faroukfarouk -> RE: Roberta asked: "would you let your son pierce his ears?" (4/17/2008 10:49:37 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: peculiar_lady2 quote: and i was under the impression more than one poster said not under my roof. maybe i read too fast and it was only one. only you? i wasn't thinking of you in particular. no it was not just me with this stance....but you posted that right after mine. Whether it was or wasn't just me, it still isn't right IMO to tell others how they are wrong in something that is their own personal conviction, esp since it has been pointed out so nicely that it ISN'T a "sin" issue. It was a combination of several posts that were quoting me and tearing my post apart though that got me mad. I did not come on here or post in this thread to be torn apart. That is our stance whether you believe in it or not...your stance on it doesn't change our opinion in our house. ("your" being a general statement, not you in particular). I personally don't mind "discussing"...anyone that has been around here long enough knows I don't mind that...but I do NOT like having my posts torn apart and quoted and being told that I am wrong when it's not a matter of right or wrong, it's a matter of personal preference. Forgive me, I'm trying to figure exactly what you are saying, ma'm. I figure you are feeling mad, I understand that. But if you feel it's wrong for your house, then, yes, it's your call, of course. It might not be wrong for other households, but for you and your house it's your call, I agree. (Calmly) Take care and God bless

peculiar_lady2 -> RE: Roberta asked: "would you let your son pierce his ears?" (4/17/2008 10:55:02 PM)
quote: i really did not mean to make you feel that way. i wasn't careful enough and i'm sorry. [:D][:D][:D]tis all good quote: Forgive me, I'm trying to figure exactly what you are saying, ma'm. I figure you are feeling mad, I understand that. But if you feel it's wrong for your house, then, yes, it's your call, of course. It might not be wrong for other households, but for you and your house it's your call, I agree. (Calmly) yes that's exactly what I am saying...and others were picking my post apart and telling me that what I feel isn't the way it needs to be. I really don't care if they feel that way or not, since they are not US or in OUR home. That was my point...I didn't post to have it torn apart and to be told how wrong I was, I posted in answer to the OP of what our personal beliefs and household rules are.

peculiar_lady2 -> RE: Roberta asked: "would you let your son pierce his ears?" (4/17/2008 10:57:06 PM)
btw...the sin vs rebellion line.....the reason we are so strong on that is because of the scripture that talks about rebellion being as the sin of witchcraft....can't give a reference for that one right now (need to get off here)...but I will come back later with that if someone else doesn't find it first. Anyway, that's why we are so strong in our stance on rebellious things in our household and why we would not allow that in our house.

faroukfarouk -> RE: Roberta asked: "would you let your son pierce his ears?" (4/17/2008 11:04:41 PM)
Yes, I take the point about rebellion. An important one. In some households where other views pertain among the parents, a different state of affairs exists, of course. Some parents willing give permission. Some parents even want to take the initiative for their son to have them, as mentioned in Donna's post, above, about someone else: "My stepson's mother wanted to have his done". So in some circumstances it's not the case at all that the sons are rebelling. Take care.

2shaye -> RE: Roberta asked: "would you let your son pierce his ears?" (4/17/2008 11:17:16 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: faroukfarouk "would you let your son pierce his ears? Yes. I wanted him to get an ear pierced in jr. high, but he didn't want to. At 22, he still has no piercings, but is wanting a tatoo. He still lives here, but he is an individual adult and I trust him to make decisions that he feels is the best for him.

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