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ORIGINAL: Tinkerbell_

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ORIGINAL: jlp1

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If I do come across someone, that I would like to seek me, I may put myself in a position where I am easier to find, but that is all. The rest is up to God.

I like that!!!! I think it is ok to put your self in places to be seen if you want to be married (speaking as a woman). I'm not sure if it's ok for a woman to go after a man

I honestly don't think women should be the pursuers. God has called man to lead and it has to start somewhere. Now I am not opposed to allowing someone to see I'm interested, but I will not take the initiative to further the relationship. If he's interested in me, he'll pursue if he's not, then I'm sure there's another bloke out there that will.

That doesn't mean I sit around and wait for my phone to ring. I still live my life, raise my children, and do the things I would normally do. I just do it with a brighter smile on my face if he should happen to pass by me.

Edited to fix my spelling.

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ORIGINAL: followtheLeader

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ORIGINAL: Dakotasunbeam

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My situation was unusual I know. I gave him no indication that I was interested. But, God had shown him His plan so he did not back down. Unless this is the case.(that God has told you that she is the one, and if he did, do not tell her that! ) If she is giving no encouragement. I think it would be a good idea to bow out gracefully.

This sort of happened to a friend of mine. The guy was absolutely proof positive she was his wife. She completely denied it, rejected it, and refused it, and now they are happily married. Go figure.

When you say that you gave him no indication . . . does that mean you were interested, you just didn't let him know about it. Or you didn't give him any indication because you were not intersted?

When I met him I was not interested at all. He seemed nice enough. But I was honestly not looking for a relationship at that time.(Kinda long story.)
I saw him 2 times in the next 6 months in passing. Six months after meeting him we were thrown together and got to know each other. We were married 8 months later.
(BTW, the day we met, he went home and told his mother that he had met
the woman he was going to marry, she told the whole story at my wedding...which is when I found out as well.)

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ORIGINAL: Dakotasunbeam

Great story, followtheleader,

Sounds like a great plot for a book or a romance movie!

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ORIGINAL: followtheLeader

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ORIGINAL: Dakotasunbeam

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My situation was unusual I know. I gave him no indication that I was interested. But, God had shown him His plan so he did not back down. Unless this is the case.(that God has told you that she is the one, and if he did, do not tell her that! ) If she is giving no encouragement. I think it would be a good idea to bow out gracefully.

This sort of happened to a friend of mine. The guy was absolutely proof positive she was his wife. She completely denied it, rejected it, and refused it, and now they are happily married. Go figure.

When you say that you gave him no indication . . . does that mean you were interested, you just didn't let him know about it. Or you didn't give him any indication because you were not intersted?

When I met him I was not interested at all. He seemed nice enough. But I was honestly not looking for a relationship at that time.(Kinda long story.)
I saw him 2 times in the next 6 months in passing. Six months after meeting him we were thrown together and got to know each other. We were married 8 months later.
(BTW, the day we met, he went home and told his mother that he had met
the woman he was going to marry, she told the whole story at my wedding...which is when I found out as well.)

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ORIGINAL: ladyamythist

Hi all! Just a quick note to any one reading this thead. I used to belong to College Avenue Baptist Church. They had the largest single movement/group there. Hundreds of singles. Many people got married. Surprisingly, they divorced, too. Some people looked, others got involved in ministry. All the ones that got involved in ministry married well. Others waited for the Lord to bring someone into their lives. Sometimes God did. There really was someone for everyone. I never remarried. I had divorced my husband, not a Christian and that's another story. Suffice it to say, after being married to someone that is NOT a Christian, I would prefer to just stay single. Unsaved guys are not spiritually minded and the things that they are into are not compatible with the Spirit. Same goes for unsaved women.

At different stages of your life, you will do different things. You will wait and be involved in ministry. You may "go nuts" waiting, and that is normal, too. Specially when everyone you know is finding someone, even the most unlikely of people. You'll look at yourself then and wonder if God does love you, has someone for you, has overlooked you, and rub your head so many times, you might become bald.

I have been single for 27 years, I believe. When you are younger, it is a great yearning to be married. Yes, hormones drive us. Inner needs drive us. When I worked at a Christian radio station, one of the ladies there advised me that she would never get married again, it's just too much work to have to care for a guy, and she was happy on her own. Everyone is different.

The most important thing is to be happy with Jesus. He is after all, the real Lover of us. Stay in community, have friends, close friends, be involved. If someone comes along, go for it. If not, God does not love you any less. As one elder sister said to me, "Oh, he's saved you for Himself!!!" And I didn't want to hear that at that time. Now I see her wisdom.

Be guided by God, all of you.

In Christ, Annette