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RE: Married but hanging out in singles forum - 4/28/2008 3:05:36 PM
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Above_All
Posts: 12124
Joined: 4/12/2005
From: man's rib
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I have to honestly say that I post less in singles lately because I don't get responses to my posts like I used to...even if it has nothing to do with the subject of being single. I've speculated but not too much on why.
But I do know it has resulted in a loss of 3,000 posts. Ha
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Table for Two...How to be a model customer
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RE: Married but hanging out in singles forum - 4/28/2008 3:21:47 PM
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stellaluna
Posts: 3328
Joined: 4/11/2005
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Now that I'm married, I don't hang out in singles at all. However, sometimes I see an interesting thread name in the last post column and I click on it to see what that's all about. I might post, but mostly I don't.
I would like to see more people in the singles folder posting in other areas of the board, though.
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CW Underground
"Everything Stellaluna said (I do agree with her, honest)." -- miasma
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RE: Married but hanging out in singles forum - 4/28/2008 3:39:04 PM
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Tinkerbell_
Posts: 4884
Joined: 1/25/2008
From: NeverNeverLand
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quote:
ORIGINAL: stellaluna
Now that I'm married, I don't hang out in singles at all. However, sometimes I see an interesting thread name in the last post column and I click on it to see what that's all about. I might post, but mostly I don't.
I would like to see more people in the singles folder posting in other areas of the board, though.
It's a comfort thing. People flock to where they're most comfortable. I am not a typical, quiver full, stay at home all natural mom so I don't venture too far into the parenting or women's threads. *shrug* It's just how it is.
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RE: Married but hanging out in singles forum - 4/28/2008 4:54:29 PM
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John_O
Posts: 6937
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quote:
ORIGINAL: stellaluna
Now that I'm married, I don't hang out in singles at all. However, sometimes I see an interesting thread name in the last post column and I click on it to see what that's all about. I might post, but mostly I don't.
I would like to see more people in the singles folder posting in other areas of the board, though.
Congratulations Stella!! (I hadn't heard before)
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Psalms 46:10 Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth.
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RE: Married but hanging out in singles forum - 4/28/2008 4:55:57 PM
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John_O
Posts: 6937
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quote:
ORIGINAL: stellaluna
quote:
ORIGINAL: Tinkerbell_
quote:
ORIGINAL: stellaluna
Now that I'm married, I don't hang out in singles at all. However, sometimes I see an interesting thread name in the last post column and I click on it to see what that's all about. I might post, but mostly I don't.
I would like to see more people in the singles folder posting in other areas of the board, though.
It's a comfort thing. People flock to where they're most comfortable. I am not a typical, quiver full, stay at home all natural mom so I don't venture too far into the parenting or women's threads. *shrug* It's just how it is.
I'm not either. But there are 30+ other folders. 
I think singles would be edified by posting elsewhere. I think others on the board would be edified by singles posting elsewhere.
But my friends are here, why should I go elsewhere?
_____________________________
Psalms 46:10 Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth.
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RE: Married but hanging out in singles forum - 4/28/2008 4:59:55 PM
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Above_All
Posts: 12124
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From: man's rib
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To talk about topics?
But if your intention is purely to make friends and hang out then I suppose topical threads wouldn't matter much.
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Table for Two...How to be a model customer
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RE: Married but hanging out in singles forum - 4/28/2008 5:25:01 PM
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.Pammy
Posts: 3999
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: Mechanicsburg, PA, USA
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I don't mind marrieds in the singles folder, but I don't feel they should dominate, as others have said. They could have valuable insight, etc. (others have said all this better than I could).
Personally, I'm all over the board besides Singles. PFY, Women, Blog Towne, Community Lounge a bit, TV, even M&E (they've begun a few light-hearted threads). If I'm bored and nothing interests me in Singles (I'm not looking for a mate, remember, so I avoid those types of threads), I look at the "posts since last visit".
Edited: changed "recent posts" to "posts since last visit".
I just realized I posted this in the wrong thread, so I'm copying it and putting it in the right thread. I hope that's okay.
< Message edited by .Pammy -- 4/28/2008 5:34:55 PM >
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Pam
<< my mother
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RE: Married but hanging out in singles forum - 4/28/2008 6:59:38 PM
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lpt
Posts: 159
Joined: 6/8/2006
From: Colorado Springs
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quote:
ORIGINAL: TomTurn
Who is married yet hangs out a good deal in the singles forum. And if here do you hang out with singles in your Church or day to day life?
And why if yes to one or all?
I'm married (though I was single for 36 years), and lurk here (and occasionally post comments) fairly regularly. I'm in singles ministry, and I find the conversations help me stay a bit more relevant to those I serve.
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RE: Married but hanging out in singles forum - 4/28/2008 7:05:21 PM
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WhiteRoseBlessings
Posts: 26757
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: Here, but subject to change . . . stay tuned!
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quote:
ORIGINAL: John_O
But my friends are here, why should I go elsewhere? To make more friends.
If I had never ventured out of Community Lounge (actually, it was General Topics when I started posting there), I never would have made half the very real and dear friends I have today. I love my friends in Community Lounge and I have a very special place in my heart for them, but my heart is also big enough and has room enough for other friends who I also hold very dear to my heart.
Interestingly enough, I'm sure many of my friends in Community Lounge feel the same way because they also have those same kind of relationships with people in other folders.
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Please Help Me Identify These Toys.
Updated 7/17/08
#160 - #205
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RE: Married but hanging out in singles forum - 4/28/2008 8:24:07 PM
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WhiteRoseBlessings
Posts: 26757
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You're very welcomed, Nadine.
As to how I speak to men, I intentionally don't speak to men differently based on their marital status for the very reason that you do.
I do joke around with married men and I do it in the same manner as I do with unmarried men. I also do such joking with married men in front of their wives or not; but it's never on an inappropriate level and people (both men and women) know that about me . . . and if they don't, they learn very quickly. I guage my level of conversation based on the person's personal comfort level: some are fine with light hearted joking, some are not and I respect that.
I also have a line that I will not cross - with single nor married men.
I was being silly with my pastor from Jackson this morning. His wife was on one extension and he was on the other. She had to leave for an appointment, but he and I kept talking for a few minutes afterwards. Nothing untoward was said from either one of us; everything I said to him as a married man, I would have said to him in front of his wife, and I would have said to him if he were single.
If he were single, I wouldn't have added anything to the conversation that what was already said.
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Crazy Toy Lady
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Please Help Me Identify These Toys.
Updated 7/17/08
#160 - #205
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RE: Married but hanging out in singles forum - 4/28/2008 9:17:53 PM
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WaitingforBoaz
Posts: 3123
Joined: 2/11/2008
From: The Hundred Acre Wood
Status: online
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quote:
ORIGINAL: WhiteRoseBlessings
You're very welcomed, Nadine.
As to how I speak to men, I intentionally don't speak to men differently based on their marital status for the very reason that you do.
I do joke around with married men and I do it in the same manner as I do with unmarried men. I also do such joking with married men in front of their wives or not; but it's never on an inappropriate level and people (both men and women) know that about me . . . and if they don't, they learn very quickly. I guage my level of conversation based on the person's personal comfort level: some are fine with light hearted joking, some are not and I respect that.
I also have a line that I will not cross - with single nor married men.
I was being silly with my pastor from Jackson this morning. His wife was on one extension and he was on the other. She had to leave for an appointment, but he and I kept talking for a few minutes afterwards. Nothing untoward was said from either one of us; everything I said to him as a married man, I would have said to him in front of his wife, and I would have said to him if he were single.
If he were single, I wouldn't have added anything to the conversation that what was already said.
Two things may account for our differences in this area(of
course it could be neither.  )
1.) You plan on staying single and many people around you probably know this, therefore you feel comfortable being open with married men because of this fact. also the people around you including your pastor and his wife, do not perceive you as a threat because of this fact. (Your being married twice probably plays into this as well.)
I on the other hand do not desire to stay single. I am in no way, shape or form persuing a relationship here, however the behavior carries over from real life.
2.) I was in full time ministry and I have had my life picked apart and looked at under a microscope. After awhile you become ultra careful of how your are percieved. They are looking.  believe me.
3.) None of the above. 
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Nadine
"It's like every thing good collided today" quote from my 8yr old daughter
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RE: Married but hanging out in singles forum - 4/28/2008 9:33:36 PM
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John_O
Posts: 6937
Joined: 9/5/2006
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quote:
ORIGINAL: WhiteRoseBlessings
quote:
ORIGINAL: John_O
But my friends are here, why should I go elsewhere? To make more friends.
Are they single? If not, why would I be spending time talking to a married woman? (That's almost adulterous in my eyes. She should be talking to her husband, not to some other guy online). Or would you want me to snub all the women just to avoid striking up a friendship with a married woman?
If I want an argument I'll roam out to CE or M&E. But the rest of the areas hold no interest for me. I've got all I can do to read everything here.
I barely have time to check my PFY thread
_____________________________
Psalms 46:10 Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth.
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RE: Married but hanging out in singles forum - 4/29/2008 2:54:50 AM
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Above_All
Posts: 12124
Joined: 4/12/2005
From: man's rib
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: John_O
quote:
ORIGINAL: WhiteRoseBlessings
quote:
ORIGINAL: John_O
But my friends are here, why should I go elsewhere? To make more friends.
Are they single? If not, why would I be spending time talking to a married woman? (That's almost adulterous in my eyes. She should be talking to her husband, not to some other guy online). Or would you want me to snub all the women just to avoid striking up a friendship with a married woman?
If I want an argument I'll roam out to CE or M&E. But the rest of the areas hold no interest for me. I've got all I can do to read everything here.
I barely have time to check my PFY thread
John, I am sure that your friendships here in singles all have some sort of boundary. You have made it very clear that if you are not interested in a woman then your friendship with her would be very limited. And you do have male friends in singles as well. And we are talking about simple discussions about topical things on line, not serious friendships. Married people don't come to CW in general to have serious friendships with the opposite sex. You wouldn't do that so you can feel pretty confident that others wouldn't either.
There are good and valid reasons to venture out of singles. Not having enough time is a suitable reason. No problem with that one.
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I've enjoyed reading your posts since my recent return to the Singles folder. I can see you put a lot of thought into them. 
