Spinoff: How do you show interest in someone? (Full Version)

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dinomax55 -> Spinoff: How do you show interest in someone? (4/22/2008 2:11:00 PM)

I was reading through another thread, and it got me to thinking- Ladies, if there was a man in your life you found interesting, how would you go about showing him that you are interested in him? Would you let him know at all? would you be non-verbal? Help us guys out and give us a clue- we could use the help.

Guys, what do you do to show you interest in a young lady, besides drool?

I suppose I would say as a guy, I could walk up to a young lady and say, "'Aaaay, 'ow U doin?" Ladies, Why doesn't this work?

Maybe this is a bit technical for some of us on this forum, but I feel it can be useful..



mutinywxgirl -> RE: Spinoff: How do you show interest in a man? (4/22/2008 2:19:13 PM)

Do you only want ladies to answer - if so, this needs to go into She Says. Otherwise, do something so the men can also participate.



dinomax55 -> RE: Spinoff: How do you show interest in a man? (4/22/2008 2:19:47 PM)

no problem..



mutinywxgirl -> RE: Spinoff: How do you show interest in a man? (4/22/2008 2:20:49 PM)

okay, moving to She Says.....



rgod -> RE: Spinoff: How do you show interest in someone? (4/22/2008 3:22:02 PM)

I'm not very good at this, and more often than not I'll just kind of let it go. If he's interested in me then fine, if not ... well then he's not the one for me.

But, one thing that I've started to do is to just kind of let him know that I'd be receptive to him. Like for example, if a guy demonstrates interest in me and I think he might be interesting to talk to, I smile at him, look away for a bit, then look and smile again. I know that is a little cheesy, but it is a signal that seems to be recognized. I think it helps a man to feel a bit more comfortable in approaching me. But, I don't do anything else - if he is interested, he will approach. To be honest, half of the time I don't even see guys - and sometimes they just approach - seemingly out of nowhere. But then again, I just naturally smile at everyone that I make eye contact with, so it is possible that I smiled at the guy and didn't remember. (Alzheimer's setting in early I guess.)

Now, if I know the guy, I'll just demonstrate an interest in what he is saying. I'll listen, talk a bit and engage him, and otherwise be friendly. I don't hang around the guy, or do too much else. I just continue to do whatever I need to do. If he says something funny, I'll smile. But I don't do much beyond that. I'm also pretty friendly to everyone though, so maybe that might be confusing.

I just think that for the most part, guys know who they like, so it makes no sense for a woman to be too forward or aggressive. And personally, I don't feel that women should play that role (at least I don't feel that it is right for me). But I do think that a man will pursue a woman if he is interested and feels that the woman is open and receptive.

rgod



car2ner -> RE: Spinoff: How do you show interest in someone? (4/22/2008 5:21:05 PM)

When I was single, I actually just wanted to be friends with guys. I was interested in them but not the way they were interested in me. Sometimes that was a problem since they thought I wanted more than friendship. But basically, if I enjoyed their company, I talked to them, called, smiled, etc. I actually asked them if they wanted to go out for coffee. Treated them like a person.

If I didn't find them interesting, I was polite but distant. If I thought they were interested in me as a romantic partner I was polite and distanced myself. It was only the truly weird guys that I completely disappeared from.



sunluvingirl -> RE: Spinoff: How do you show interest in someone? (4/22/2008 6:53:21 PM)

If there's a guy I like I can't help but watching him but that is all I will do. Hopefully I have never made an idiot of myself by gawking!![:(]I'm not bold enough to go up and start talking to him, I'm probably more shy around a guy I like than just another guy.



Prairiehiker -> RE: Spinoff: How do you show interest in someone? (4/22/2008 7:25:00 PM)

Well, Dinomaxx, perhaps, you can tell me what is the best way to show interest in a man without being too forward. I used to never have problem asking men out; even complete strangers. But now that I'm actually wanting to date for the purpose of finding a suitable partner, how do I do it without appearing like I'm a man eater or some sort, lol!

There's this man in church that I've seen a few times and have not spoken to. I go to a really big church, so the chances of us getting seated with each other is slim to none. I knew him way back in high school (aboout 20 years ago) and I had a crush on him back then. He's still single he's a Christian now. I'd really like to jus talk to him to see if there's any chemistry at all (that's very important, in my opinion). Any ideas in how I can even just accidentally bump into him, lol. I'm crushing somewhat badly.



Prairiehiker -> RE: Spinoff: How do you show interest in someone? (4/22/2008 7:28:16 PM)

quote:

how would you go about showing him that you are interested in him? Would you let him know at all? would you be non-verbal? Help us guys out and give us a clue- we could use the help.


By the way, in the past, before I started taking my faith seriously, if I was ever interested in a man, I'll just go up to him with the biggest smile on my face and say hi and start a conversation. I don't do that now.



jlp1 -> RE: Spinoff: How do you show interest in someone? (4/22/2008 7:58:28 PM)

It's so hard for me to say anything to a guy that I am interested in and if we both are shy forget about it[sm=aside.gif]. And its not so much as being shy it's the fear of rejection, its a difference from the men that are of the world verse men who are in the word. Men in the world usually don't give you a chance to say a word before they are all over you. I never really had to go up to a guy and say anything but now, I find myself look down at the floor, running out of church so that no man looks me in the face, it's so sad how I behave. If a guy was interested in me he would never know because my actions show the opposite. He would have to show interest first before I put myself out there, so to answer your question he would know it if:
I avoided him and did not look him in the eyes much And you might take that as I'm not interested.
Another clue if I did talk to him, I would not rush the conversation
I would act interested in what he is saying,
I would ask him questions (very important),
I would compliment him once I began to feel comfortable,
and smile a lot
If I act as thou I not irritated by the conversation and I smile a lot where you see all the teeth and fillings in my mouth, you have the ok to ask me out. [sm=biggrin.gif]



fluffmonkey -> RE: Spinoff: How do you show interest in someone? (4/23/2008 10:04:06 AM)

how would you go about showing him that you are interested in him? Would you let him know at all? would you be non-verbal?

Well like alot of other ladies I would smile, and talk and find out what we have in common and such, and talk to him in away that lets him know im interested without saying that I am.

I maybe would mention something that would be fun to do, and maybe see if he would be interested in something like that and if he is say well maybe we can go sometime



Dakotasunbeam -> RE: Spinoff: How do you show interest in someone? (4/23/2008 10:22:35 PM)

dinomax,

I really do not have any trouble letting a guy know that I like him. Generally in social situations I can get the message across. The usual, smiling a lot, spending time with him, talking, a touch here and there (all very decent mind you). The usual girly stuff. But If I like a guy, I will definately pick his brain. It helps me learn so much about an individual in conversation. I'll generally be his pal, and find interesting ways of teasing him, being playful, and hinting. If he's wearing something nice, I'll let him know or if I like his cologne. We'll have lots of deep conversations and lots of eye-contact. I'll also enter his personal space just a bit, and play with his hair. Generally, we'll start to exchange more serious looks, and have deeper conversations--seeking each other's company over others--and at about that point, I know everything is going along nicely. [;)]



ebony101 -> RE: Spinoff: How do you show interest in someone? (4/24/2008 3:28:17 AM)

I'll make eye contact with him; maybe smile; but he'll have to take it from there. If I know him from a group situation, I'll make the effort to try starting a conversation, but it's up to him to keep it going.

That's about it for me.



dinomax55 -> RE: Spinoff: How do you show interest in someone? (4/24/2008 8:07:10 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Prairiehiker

Well, Dinomaxx, perhaps, you can tell me what is the best way to show interest in a man without being too forward. I used to never have problem asking men out; even complete strangers. But now that I'm actually wanting to date for the purpose of finding a suitable partner, how do I do it without appearing like I'm a man eater or some sort, lol!

There's this man in church that I've seen a few times and have not spoken to. I go to a really big church, so the chances of us getting seated with each other is slim to none. I knew him way back in high school (aboout 20 years ago) and I had a crush on him back then. He's still single he's a Christian now. I'd really like to jus talk to him to see if there's any chemistry at all (that's very important, in my opinion). Any ideas in how I can even just accidentally bump into him, lol. I'm crushing somewhat badly.


If there are no opportunities to be subtle, then you will have to go up and talk to him. You don't have to ask him out, but find some common ground, like Sunday school or something.. establish a link. After that, it should flow from there.



dinomax55 -> RE: Spinoff: How do you show interest in someone? (4/24/2008 8:13:52 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Dakotasunbeam

dinomax,

I really do not have any trouble letting a guy know that I like him. Generally in social situations I can get the message across. The usual, smiling a lot, spending time with him, talking, a touch here and there (all very decent mind you). The usual girly stuff. But If I like a guy, I will definately pick his brain. It helps me learn so much about an individual in conversation. I'll generally be his pal, and find interesting ways of teasing him, being playful, and hinting. If he's wearing something nice, I'll let him know or if I like his cologne. We'll have lots of deep conversations and lots of eye-contact. I'll also enter his personal space just a bit, and play with his hair. Generally, we'll start to exchange more serious looks, and have deeper conversations--seeking each other's company over others--and at about that point, I know everything is going along nicely. [;)]

This is useful.. She sends messages without being forward! You don't have be all over him, but show a little effort in engaging, maybe drop subtle hints. You have to be obvious enough for a guy to pick up on it, yet subtle enough for him to make the 'first move'..

As an aside, I have no problem with a young lady outright asking me out.. I know a lot of guys who would be turned off by that, but I say, as long as someone gets the message across, it doesn't matter who.



Jenny-Fair -> RE: Spinoff: How do you show interest in someone? (4/24/2008 7:04:57 PM)

I smile a lot, watch him from across the room, talk too much about him to my friends, ask him questions when we are together, try to find out more about him, etc. I also try and make sure I look cute whenever I might see him, and I get embarassed easily around him, and sometimes I say stupid things, lol.



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