now with an unbeliever? (Full Version)

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enit -> now with an unbeliever? (4/22/2008 8:12:55 PM)

I've been seeing the love of my life for quite some time now and are planning our future together. We are an older couple and have both been involved in various ministries throughout our lives. He is the most respectful, kind, gentle, person I know...exhibits Christ-like behaviour more than anyone I know...recently he shared with me that he doesn't know if he still believes in God after seeing years of injustice, pain, hyprocrisy, materialism, etc., in the church. My dilemma...am I now to part ways with him?



fallenstar -> RE: now with an unbeliever? (4/22/2008 9:06:43 PM)

My advice would be to help him find God. God knows who is a Christian and who is'nt, and he can see that the lying, unchristlike people who your partner has encountered are not true to his word. I understand the feelings he may be feeling, because, as a matter of fact, I am just emerging form this phase. My faith is stronger than it was before I went through this stage of non believeing. He'll pull through and find Christ in his heart again.



csl7037 -> RE: now with an unbeliever? (4/22/2008 9:22:18 PM)

I agree, it's a phase or just something he needs to work through. Be patient with him.



enit -> RE: now with an unbeliever? (4/23/2008 12:25:52 AM)

I haven't shared this information with many people and have had some say that if I stay with him I am "unequally yoked" and that God requires that I leave him.

Your responses are such a balm. Thank you so much



enit -> RE: now with an unbeliever? (4/23/2008 12:30:40 AM)

fallenstar, how long did you go through this phase?



1love1God1way -> RE: now with an unbeliever? (4/23/2008 1:09:52 AM)

Right. . . I would hold off on any long term plans until His eternal plan is secure.

And, if he refuses to do that, as painful as it is, you seem to know what is right in that situation. . .

Best of luck.



enit -> RE: now with an unbeliever? (4/23/2008 10:26:24 AM)

The other thought that is going through my mind/heart is that, as an older couple, we will not be raising children and have both "retired" from our church ministries since the career work we both do is ministry-oriented (just not through the church). I still share with him my thoughts, feelings, prayers, all that, and he continues to encourages me in my faith, etc. To that end, "unequally yoked" in its basic meaning doesn't seem to apply.



fallenstar -> RE: now with an unbeliever? (4/24/2008 12:26:33 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: enit

fallenstar, how long did you go through this phase?




Well, given that your parter is an adult, he may be thrpugh it quicker than I did. You did also state that he simply does'nt believe in God. I, being a rebellious teenager at the time, joined a new age belief system called Wicca. I'm not sure if you have heard of it, some people have some have'nt. That lasted from 8th grade and all through high school, five years. As I said, I'm sure it's just a phase. I was influenced by the same thing, Christians who did'nt live as God said they should. Since he is much wiser than I was at the time it occured for me, I'm sure he'll find Christ again. I did. [;)]



scottmcc1 -> RE: now with an unbeliever? (4/25/2008 6:06:54 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: enit

I've been seeing the love of my life for quite some time now and are planning our future together. We are an older couple and have both been involved in various ministries throughout our lives. He is the most respectful, kind, gentle, person I know...exhibits Christ-like behavior more than anyone I know...recently he shared with me that he doesn't know if he still believes in God after seeing years of injustice, pain, hypocrisy, materialism, etc., in the church. My dilemma...am I now to part ways with him?


The Bible says there are tares with the wheat. So even though people are in the church they may not be truly saved. More than likely they are just immature and fleshly Christians.

I think your "love" will come around. He is probably hurt by unkindness.

Encourage him in the faith.
1 Cor 15:58

Here is an article on encouragement I wrote.

Isaiah 35:3
Encourage the exhausted, and strengthen the feeble.

Acts 11:23
Then when he arrived and witnessed the grace of God, he rejoiced and began to encourage them all with resolute heart to remain true to the Lord;

Romans 15:4
For whatever was written in earlier times was written for our instruction, so that through perseverance and the encouragement of the Scriptures we might have hope.

1 Thessalonians 5:11
Therefore encourage one another and build up one another, just as you also are doing.

Hebrews 3:13
But encourage one another day after day, as long as it is still called "Today," so that none of you will be hardened by the deceitfulness of sin.

Maybe God has placed you in his life for this very reason, to encourage him.

If his faith is shipwrecked, which I don't think is the case, the time for you to leave will become obvious.

God bless and keep trusting Jesus who does not fail!



mbgb -> RE: now with an unbeliever? (4/25/2008 7:28:18 PM)

enit,
I hope you are consulting God. Feel free to PM me if you want, but I am unequally yoked. I believe the devil is tempting you to stray from God. That separation is not worth the love of your life...trust me from experience. You know what it is like when God aproves of something, it will be made right and in His time. If you all are meant to be, your love will surely come to know God as you do. Otherwise, I would be tempted to tell you to cool things off with him. I know that's not what you want to hear, but hanging out with him in a romantic way is only going to make the temptation more real. I have gone through and still go through every second of every day a horrilbe time trying to regain my relationship with our Father, and still am not sure where I stand with Him. Can you imagine how scary and dark that feels? It is very dark. I pray for salvation every day even though I've already been saved but I also know I've made a terrible terrible mistake. Just please think about it and seek God's will in this situation, you know it will be better than what you can imagine.

I'll pray for you.



Child4Jesus -> RE: now with an unbeliever? (4/26/2008 1:48:33 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: enit
I've been seeing the love of my life for quite some time now and are planning our future together. We are an older couple and have both been involved in various ministries throughout our lives. He is the most respectful, kind, gentle, person I know...exhibits Christ-like behaviour more than anyone I know...recently he shared with me that he doesn't know if he still believes in God after seeing years of injustice, pain, hyprocrisy, materialism, etc., in the church. My dilemma...am I now to part ways with him?


What is he basing his belief in God on? Faith in Christ? Of faith in people who don't behave like Christians should?

As far as your dilemma I can't tell you what to do. You have to bring that to God. If he is truly an unbeliever and not just going through a ruff time because of how Christians are then you should not be marrying him.



dradynsmom -> RE: now with an unbeliever? (4/26/2008 4:10:47 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: 1love1God1way

Right. . . I would hold off on any long term plans until His eternal plan is secure.

And, if he refuses to do that, as painful as it is, you seem to know what is right in that situation. . .

Best of luck.

I completely agree with 1love1God1way. You don't want to marry someone whom you are trying to change. What would happen if he didn't change? You would be bound to him forever. My advice - take your time, pray, pray and pray some more. And also live as a shining example to him.
Stephanie



jaimestarcross -> RE: now with an unbeliever? (4/26/2008 5:16:49 PM)

When a brother is struggling with his faith because of people's
lack of maturity/spiritual growth etc. it would be helpful to show him
how you have kept on believing and serving our Lord - we've all dealt with
doubts based on what sinful mankind is doing. Research with him the characteristics of God - the big one for me is that God is long suffering!
When I take the focus off of mankind's sinful acts and get focused on God, the world loses it's influence and I know God will see me through bad times and the evil things we do to each other.
Every Christian struggles with wanting to do what is right and time and time again we fail.
quote:

"Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart. In your struggle against sin, you have not yet resisted to the point of shedding your blood"Hebrews 12:2-4



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