Fiance? (Full Version)

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lil_gringa -> Fiance? (4/23/2008 7:48:05 AM)

It's a tradition to ask the girls parents for her hand in marriage. Did you or would you follow this tradition?



broyce1981 -> RE: Fiance? (4/23/2008 9:33:13 AM)

Yes, I would choose to follow this tradition.



wizzer -> RE: Fiance? (4/23/2008 9:41:38 AM)

If marriage is for me, I'll follow the tradition of asking the father out of respect.



JimboFletch -> RE: Fiance? (4/23/2008 9:44:27 AM)

I thought it was a silly tradition and didn't intend to do it. But my sweetheart told me it was important to her, so I did it - and survived.

We have been joyfully married 36 years now.
[sm=thumbsup.gif]



APZR -> RE: Fiance? (4/23/2008 12:08:47 PM)

No I did not.
We were both adults and at that time, and her family was extremely fractured by a nasty divorce and abuse situation. We had nothing to do with anyone on her side, and it's pretty much the same over a decade later.

However, I did get the okay from her foster parents, but I didn't have to ask... they liked me. We dated for 3 years, and everyone was asking us when we would marry? [:D]



vajent -> RE: Fiance? (4/23/2008 12:24:46 PM)

My wife didn't want me to get her Dad involved, and I didn't.

I think this is one of those things that's pretty situational. In my case, my wife's family is very much of the mentality that everybody's business is their own. That's how my wife felt - she thought this was OUR decision, and not anyone else's. Her Dad thought the same thing. After we got engaged, I talked to him about the whole ask the parents before you ask the girl thing, and he bluntly said that he thought that was stupid, because he didn't really get a vote in this, and he didn't want to have a vote in this. In his mind, we were adults and we have to make our own decisions. My wife's parents rightly believe that there are some parents who have way too much influence over their grown children's decisions, and that this can be very a intrusive and harmful dynaic to their kid's life and relationships. So they actually took it as a sign of respect that I DIDN'T get them involved in the marriage proposal, because I respected their attitudes, whether I agreed or not.

On the other hand, not every family is like my wife's family. My parents are much more hands-on and want to be regularly informed about what's going on with us. If they had had daughters instead of sons, my guess is that they would have appreciated being in the pop the question loop.



DaveW -> RE: Fiance? (4/23/2008 12:28:24 PM)

I asked DW's dad.

My middle daughter's now husband and father of these 2 wonderous granddaughters asked me for my permission.



violinist_for_jesus -> RE: Fiance? (4/25/2008 8:17:46 AM)

Yep. I will ask her father if her ever comes along. And if he says no, then no it is.



ChoirDJ -> RE: Fiance? (4/25/2008 11:36:54 AM)

I would ask for the father's blessing out of respect but I don't equate this with asking for the father's permission. Two adults that feel a need to ask for "permission" to get married don't sound mature enough to me to make that move.



Beanteaser -> RE: Fiance? (4/29/2008 11:24:03 AM)

I agree ChoirDJ. When I was about to propose to my wife, I called my now father in law. I told him I wasn't asking for permission, but did want his blessing. He gave it me. [:)]



alaskadrifter -> RE: Fiance? (4/29/2008 7:43:38 PM)

I think the default should be to at least ask for his blessings. Unless circumstances determine otherwise.



tbrobinson -> RE: Fiance? (4/29/2008 10:03:14 PM)

I did and insisted that my son in law do the same. That was a little tricky for the boy, but he got it in the end. It was a good start to the relationship, and he is a good christian kid who I respect and welcome to the family.



PreserveWildlife -> RE: Fiance? (4/30/2008 6:06:56 PM)

quote:

would you follow this tradition?
Probably not, but you never know.



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