A question about disclosing the past (Full Version)

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missleyna -> A question about disclosing the past (4/23/2008 10:09:12 AM)

I have a question for all believers. I wonder whether once you commit yourself to Jesus and ask for him to come into your heart and repent your sins if you need to tell other believers what your sins were in your past?

If you realize that your life previously was full of sin and you are actively working to change that and have asked for God to help- is it necessary to say "I used to be attracted to people of the same sex?" or "I was an alcoholic" or "I had a drug problem" to people? Is is simply okay to say, I once lived in sin, but now I am saved by the grace of God through faith? I realize that many people feel okay sharing about their sinful ways as a way to show how God has helped them, but I feel that some sinful ways that people have lived through are looked down upon moreso than others- for instance homosexuality is often judged more heavily than an unmarried couple living together, but in reality both are not what God wants for our lives. So I just wonder, is it important for believers to be honest and disclose the details of their former sins- since once we are saved, our old selves are dead and we are risen as a new creation- can that really be true if we are constantly judged negatively for how we used to live?

Sorry- I may have rambled, but I hope you get my general idea...



mvic -> RE: A question about disclosing the past (4/23/2008 10:15:06 AM)

The relationship you have is between you and God. If you have truely repented and try your utmost not to repeat your sin - then He in turn has forgiven you.

You need not discuss it with anyone else. Unless of course you feel you need to confide in someone to help you grow in the Faith. The choice is entirely yours.



iamjc-s -> RE: A question about disclosing the past (4/23/2008 10:18:33 AM)

quote:

I wonder ... if you need to tell other believers what your sins were in your past?

Not unless the Lord leads you to.

It would more likely be beneficial if you shared your past with those not saved who maybe think their sin is unforgivable.
-



missleyna -> RE: A question about disclosing the past (4/23/2008 10:27:53 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: mvic

The relationship you have is between you and God. If you have truely repented and try your utmost not to repeat your sin - then He in turn has forgiven you.

You need not discuss it with anyone else. Unless of course you feel you need to confide in someone to help you grow in the Faith. The choice is entirely yours.



Thank you! That is what I thought, but I also know that there is the "lying by ommission" and I wondered if you don't explain your past if you would then be sinning by lying.



delete123 -> RE: A question about disclosing the past (4/23/2008 10:36:16 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: iamjc-s

quote:

I wonder ... if you need to tell other believers what your sins were in your past?

Not unless the Lord leads you to.

It would more likely be beneficial if you shared your past with those not saved who maybe think their sin is unforgivable.
-


I agree with this.
If the Lord leads you then you share, but you need to be discerning.

(A friend can become an enemy and an enemy can prove to be a friend.)

Unfortunately if you tell the wrong person something, they can and will use it against you.

CRH



mvic -> RE: A question about disclosing the past (4/23/2008 10:56:50 AM)

No ... you are not "lying by ommission" if you don't disclose your past sins. You do not have to explain your past to anyone. It is between you and God.

As crh737 quite rightly said: if you tell the wrong person they can use it against you.



colliefan -> RE: A question about disclosing the past (4/23/2008 4:04:31 PM)

do it before the right people at the right time for the right reasons



kmangel -> RE: A question about disclosing the past (4/23/2008 5:32:21 PM)

The only person I would encourage you to be open and direct with would be a spouse or if you were planning to get married. I think then it's good to be honest about your past with your spouse. As far as other persons, that is going to be an area God will lead you in. There may come a time when you'll meet someone who is struggling in an area that you used to struggle with yourself and you'll feel compelled to share your story. We all have a story to tell. How much of your story you share is something you'll need to take before God and see what He says to you.



Walker311 -> RE: A question about disclosing the past (4/23/2008 6:04:42 PM)

There have been many who have struggled with revelations about past sins. They meant well in telling about their past sins and these confessions came back to haunt them.

God has the ability to forgive and forget our sin. He does not intend for any of us to be hurt by our past and so in many situations, it is best to stay quiet. However, there are sins that leave lasting consequences such as STD's and similar things should be revealed to possible love interests or those who could be hurt by our silence.

Never ever bask in your past as I have seen many do. I have no respect for those who enjoy glorifying their wild times. And it is possible to help others without them ever knowing that you were once in the same boat.



Giulia -> RE: A question about disclosing the past (4/24/2008 5:29:58 AM)

quote:

God has the ability to forgive and forget our sin. He does not intend for any of us to be hurt by our past and so in many situations, it is best to stay quiet. However, there are sins that leave lasting consequences such as STD's and similar things should be revealed to possible love interests or those who could be hurt by our silence.


Firstly there is no STD that cannot be cured or healed, secondly if your past has been buried in the waters of baptism then it is no longer alive or attached to you in any way, therefore cannot hurt you.

When I see someone share about their past and there are tears attached I know it still has a hold on them and it has not been buried, or they have taken it back up (in which case they are still bound by it by choice).

A testimony of one's past is to share hope in that particular situation, a witness that God is stornger and bigger and greater than that spirit, He is able to clean and make whole the vilest vessel for His glory. If something in your past shames you, is it or was it ever dead?



Liveloved -> RE: A question about disclosing the past (4/24/2008 11:28:10 AM)

quote:

I wonder whether once you commit yourself to Jesus and ask for him to come into your heart and repent your sins if you need to tell other believers what your sins were in your past?


You've asked a great and important question. Honesty and truthfulness are qualities that the Lord desires us to live out both in our relationship with Him and with others. However, knowing people as you do, it is wise to know the person well and have a relationship of trust before disclosing personal things. Judging is one of the many problems (sins) that we do so easily and so well and are often oblivious to because of our pride and self loving protective ways. So it is wise to be cautious.

That said, however, as you grow in your relationship with Jesus, you find that it really does not matter what others say or do. My husband and I used to be a part of a nondenominational fellowship that did church "Acts" style, where each member was to come ready to share something. One time I did some sharing which included the confession of sin and how the Lord had shown me what I was doing that was sinful.

Later one of the leader's wives "mocked" my repentance at a meeting. And her mocking was led by the pastor. (My husband was also one of the leaders of that church.) I grieve for that woman for she does not know how she has been mislead. And I grieve for that pastor because he will be held accountable for what he led that church in. I pray for them often.

My husband led us out of that church. I would have stayed. These people had been blinded by satan and formed 'judgments' rather than seeking truth. I sorrow for them as Jesus does. But I followed my husband's lead.

Anyway, that is the risk we take when we are truthful with others. But I prefer living in truth because Jesus is there.

I just share this example because the answer to the question must be to follow the Spirit's leading. When you're younger in the Lord, you need to exercise more caution and He will lead in that. When you've grown closer to Him, He'll lead you into greater truthfulness and honesty with others because He's dealing with your pridefulness and He wants you to throw caution to the wind (hey, that's what trusting the Spirit's lead is!).
So anyway, bless you! He will lead you. Stay close to Jesus and trust His leading.[:)]



rcjames -> RE: A question about disclosing the past (4/24/2008 1:15:23 PM)

I have never seen the need to spread the gore of a pre-salvation lifestyle. Suffice to say I was lost, but now am found, I was blind, but now I see,

Thanks
RC



Calea37 -> RE: A question about disclosing the past (4/24/2008 8:54:37 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Giulia



Firstly there is no STD that cannot be cured or healed, secondly if your past has been buried in the waters of baptism then it is no longer alive or attached to you in any way, therefore cannot hurt you.




I agree with the fact that God can heal anything, but that doesn't necessarily mean He will. If someone had an STD that would be something they should disclose to a future spouse.



Giulia -> RE: A question about disclosing the past (4/24/2008 9:47:39 PM)

If you read my words I never said they shouldn't tell their future spouse, nor anything of the sort.



oldmethuselah -> RE: A question about disclosing the past (4/24/2008 10:04:02 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: rcjames

I have never seen the need to spread the gore of a pre-salvation lifestyle. Suffice to say I was lost, but now am found, I was blind, but now I see,

Thanks
RC



You know, RC, I think that about sums up why I so appreciate you!

A straight-shooter to be sure,
a non-mincer of words at all times,
yet NOT the hard hearted arrogance of the legalist.

The plea of John Newton, author of Amazing Grace, as so well portrayed by Albert Finney in the recent DVD of the same name.

"I was lost, but now am found"

Yeah!

Keep up the good work bro!



rcjames -> RE: A question about disclosing the past (4/25/2008 10:02:54 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Calea37

quote:

ORIGINAL: Giulia



Firstly there is no STD that cannot be cured or healed, secondly if your past has been buried in the waters of baptism then it is no longer alive or attached to you in any way, therefore cannot hurt you.




I agree with the fact that God can heal anything, but that doesn't necessarily mean He will. If someone had an STD that would be something they should disclose to a future spouse.


Publicaly?

Thanks
RC



Calea37 -> RE: A question about disclosing the past (4/25/2008 10:15:20 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: rcjames

quote:

ORIGINAL: Calea37

quote:

ORIGINAL: Giulia



Firstly there is no STD that cannot be cured or healed, secondly if your past has been buried in the waters of baptism then it is no longer alive or attached to you in any way, therefore cannot hurt you.




I agree with the fact that God can heal anything, but that doesn't necessarily mean He will. If someone had an STD that would be something they should disclose to a future spouse.


Publicaly?

Thanks
RC


Looks like I mistook what Giulia meant (sorry) and no, I didn't mean publicly; only to the future spouse.



Liveloved -> RE: A question about disclosing the past (4/25/2008 10:28:06 AM)

quote:

"I was lost, but now am found"


Well, Old, (hope you don't mind the nickname[:D])

While I agree that the airing of dirty laundry is not a good idea, I also know that truthful confession of sin to others is something we need to do. Doesn't James advise us to "Therefore, confess your sins to one another, and pray for one another, so that you may be healed. The effective prayer of a righteous man can accomplish much."?

I have seen too much pride and too little humility in the church and especially among the leadership of the church that teaches and preaches humility while all the while living arrogance. I once was lost is surely true. And I'm very thankful that I am now found. But I'm even more thankful that I have a relationship with the One who continues to lead me and show me the deeper and dirtier corners of my heart that need healing which only comes through truthful confession. And, yes, I think sometimes that has to be openly confessed to others whether in a small group of trusted believing friends or the church.

I want to know my faults or have them shown to me so I can be healed. And I certainly don't want to play 'the proud game', as if I no longer have any sin. I want those who I interact with, pray for, study with and teach to see me being truthful about me, my sin, and how the Lord is dealing with me. It is His love that won't allow me to continue in these ways of my 'self'.

So, Old, I think truthful confession is what leads to health in the body of Christ. We are works in progress, being conformed to the image of Jesus. Why would we not live truthfully and honestly with those we love the most? Bless ya, LL[:)]



drmark -> RE: A question about disclosing the past (4/25/2008 10:35:20 AM)

quote:

Thank you! That is what I thought, but I also know that there is the "lying by ommission" and I wondered if you don't explain your past if you would then be sinning by lying.
This very issue recently came up with my 22 yr-old son who was interviewing for a new job. He is now clean and sober for over three years (Praise the Lord!) and the job placement advisor recommended that our son disclose this during the interview. She is a friend of ours from church and knows full well the struggles and victory that our son has undergone. He did not get the job and the job interviewer "suggested" it was due to his past drug abuse since he was qualified in every other way. Did our son do the "right thing"? Will God honor his integrity with an even better job in the future? Should he be more discriminating about volunteering his past problem unless specifically asked? These are tough questions and the correct answers may vary based on circumstances and God's leading. And NO, that does NOT mean I believe in moral relativism!



Kat_D -> RE: A question about disclosing the past (4/25/2008 11:14:34 AM)

I'm going to come at this from a different perspective. In my past I suffered from severe depression and made many attempts on my life. I also was living a life filled with sin during that time. Consequently, I was in and out of mental hospitals for 10 years. My Mother suffered from a different form of depression, but no less severe and she too was confined to mental hospitals on a number of occasions. She carried a lot of guilt over the things she did to her kids during that time.

When I got saved I was set free and healed. My Mother, on the other hand, was saved but never was able to be completely free. She lived in victory for several years after coming to the Lord, but it didn't last and she remained in pain until she died.

Why?

There was but one difference between us. After I was saved, I was not ashamed of my past...my Mother was...to the point that she never told anyone, ever, and lived in shame. I, on the other hand, viewed my past as an opportunity to give God glory for what He had rescued me from and as an opportunity to help others with similar conditions. The shame finally took my Mother over and she went back to living a life of depression because of it and she died totally consumed by it.

No, we don't have to scream our past from the rooftops, but we are not to live in shame because of it. If we do, the shame will control us and Jesus didn't pay with His life to ransom us from our pasts only to have us live in bondage to it.

When I think upon my past I shudder at what I once was and the things I did in my unsaved condition, but then I remember the wonder God has done in my life and I am in awe of my Savior and the miracle He has done in my life...

19 "When I remember my affliction and my wandering, the wormwood and the bitterness (THE SINS OF MY PAST) 20 Surely my soul remembers And is bowed down within me. 21 But, this I recall to my mind, Therefore I have hope. 22 The LORD'S lovingkindnesses indeed never cease, For His compassions never fail. 23 They are new every morning; Great is Your faithfulness, O' Lord."-Lamentations 3

*Insert in parenthesis mine



rcjames -> RE: A question about disclosing the past (4/25/2008 2:07:30 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Liveloved
While I agree that the airing of dirty laundry is not a good idea, I also know that truthful confession of sin to others is something we need to do. Doesn't James advise us to "Therefore, confess your sins to one another, and pray for one another, so that you may be healed. The effective prayer of a righteous man can accomplish much."?


Yes and I agee, but that is referring a continuing sin, for if we have repented, confessed to God, and recieved His forgiveness that sin is no more.

So to talk about the past forgiven sins only bring glory to the enemy.

Thanks
RC

edited for clarity



Giulia -> RE: A question about disclosing the past (4/26/2008 3:53:26 AM)

Actually, I don't agree. Glory goes to God when people are told of the conversion in contrast to the past. To talk about it like a boast does not glorify God but to bring it up to boast of what God has done is good.



Little_1 -> RE: A question about disclosing the past (4/26/2008 6:22:25 AM)

I have found listening and reading about other people's personal testimonies challenging, encouraging and inspiring in what the Lord has lifted them from and where they are at now.

However, I would say that I remember one new Christian giving his testimony some years ago and he started to go into some personal detail which was just not necessary and I did not find this very God gloryfying or edifying in the least.

I do believe we need to seek wisdom first and be prayerful when sharing our testimonies. There is no need to go into the gorey details. Some people believe they need to share such to make their testimonies sound more interesting but when it is the 'flesh' trying to do the work of the Holy Spirit then the devil is the only one getting any glory.



Little_1 -> RE: A question about disclosing the past (4/26/2008 6:39:58 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Kat_D

...... When I think upon my past I shudder at what I once was and the things I did in my unsaved condition, but then I remember the wonder God has done in my life and I am in awe of my Savior and the miracle He has done in my life...

19 "When I remember my affliction and my wandering, the wormwood and the bitterness (THE SINS OF MY PAST) 20 Surely my soul remembers And is bowed down within me. 21 But, this I recall to my mind, Therefore I have hope. 22 The LORD'S lovingkindnesses indeed never cease, For His compassions never fail. 23 They are new every morning; Great is Your faithfulness, O' Lord."-Lamentations 3

*Insert in parenthesis mine


Beautiful example of someone's personal testimony which clearly demonstrates that there is a place for personal testimony being God gloryfying.

Kat I wish that your mum had been able to open up with her struggles as you have been able to (obviously within the safety of Christian counsellors/ or/and loyal friends and a loving church). I am sad to read that your mum was unable to do so and no doubt suffered much pain unnecessarily due to fear of being judged and rejected which is very understandable sadly.

God bless you and thank you for sharing your testimony Kat which was obviously done prayerfully and wisely (i.e. no uncessary details) and I want to glorify God having read it because of what God has saved you from. Hallelujah Jesus.

Little_1 xx [sm=angel.gif][sm=dance.gif][sm=angel.gif]



Cloak -> RE: A question about disclosing the past (4/26/2008 10:06:13 AM)

Missleyna~

Typically or ideally, you should be able to open up with other Christians provided they are healthy and safe Christians.

Good Christians are non-judgemental non-defensive and vice versa.

When we open up and become vulnerable, we enrich each other's life and realize that we're not alone in what we went through.

I am always wary of people or churches who do not discuss weaknesses or struggles or sins.

In a message board as this, the best thing we can for each other....is to open up, be upfront and vulnerable to each others. Afterall, the Bible teaches us to confess our sins to one another. This is how we grow, mature, enrich and build up one another.



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