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No self confidence - 4/23/2008 3:38:53 PM
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psalm100
Posts: 265
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You hear alot of times when people are very prideful and think too much of themselves. Well, what happens when you have no self confidence?
I tend to underestimate myself. I have no self confidence at all. I even had one person tell me that I need to be more confident in myself.
Any thoughts?
_____________________________
Psalm 84:12 O Lord of hosts, blessed is the man that trusteth in thee.
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RE: No self confidence - 4/23/2008 3:42:48 PM
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StephK
Posts: 1820
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: Southwest Louisiana
Status: offline
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I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. Philippians 4:13 This is the verse that helps me most when I feel like I can't. Put your confidence in Christ, He'll never fail you.
_____________________________
Stephanie
Religion has accepted the monstrous heresy that noise, size, activity and bluster make a man dear to God. To a people caught in the tempest God says, `Be still, and know that I am God.' ~AW Tozer
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RE: No self confidence - 4/23/2008 3:50:13 PM
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WhiteNarcissus
Posts: 40
Joined: 4/18/2008
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Well, I'm the other extreme... too much self confidence (narcissistic) and I'm not gonna be much help to you since I can't relate but maybe try to do something your good at like a talent and that should boost your ego some degree. When you achieve at something then you feel better about who you are. OH that was great advice I just gave you. YAY me!
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RE: No self confidence - 4/23/2008 3:51:27 PM
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colliefan
Posts: 2214
Joined: 4/12/2005
From: Raleigh, NC
Status: offline
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quote:
I tend to underestimate myself. I have no self confidence at all. I even had one person tell me that I need to be more confident in myself.
Look to God for your confidence.
_____________________________
The grace of God is infinite and eternal. As it had no beginning, so it can have no end, and being an attribute of God, it is as boundless as infinitude.
A. W. Tozer (1897–1963)
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RE: No self confidence - 4/23/2008 10:03:16 PM
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Rumely
Posts: 112
Joined: 11/11/2007
Status: offline
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I like your use of the term "self confidence" rather than "self esteem". Self confidence should be the result of a realistic assessment of your capabilities, with the emotional content factored out. The best way I know of to build self confidence is simply to stretch yourself. The more you do an experience, the more you build your "toolbox" of skills for meeting challenges. This often means breaking the "fear barrier." That is, you do not give up when the anxiety sets in. Push on into the anxiety zone. Even if you fail, you will have learned and grown. Plus, you find that anxiety does not kill you, you can function in anxiety. It's a bit like athletic training; the best and fastest way to your goal is to train until you are hot, tired, sweaty, out of breath, and achey.
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RE: No self confidence - 4/23/2008 10:38:40 PM
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JordanW
Posts: 691
Joined: 4/23/2008
From: Bakersfield, California
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I feel the same way really, I underestimate myself a lot. Just pray to God to help you rekindle your confidence.
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RE: No self confidence - 4/23/2008 10:57:03 PM
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Liveloved
Posts: 1044
Joined: 1/22/2008
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quote:
Well, what happens when you have no self confidence?
We need to see ourselves as God sees us, no more, no less.
I had the same struggle, psalm100. And ultimately, what it comes down to is just believing what Jesus says about us! I read a book by Josh McDowell many years ago called His Image/My Image which was on seeing yourself as God sees you---no more, no less. It really helped me. And then just getting to know Jesus more and more and really believing all that He says and learning to recognize the lies of the evil one (and my own lying thoughts about myself) and reject those lies.
It has been a long process but He has done great things for me in this area. And He has allowed some really tough circumstances in my life so that I would know all the more that His word is true and nothing else anyone else thinks or says about me really matters. I base my worth on His view of me and no other.
The last I knew, McDowell's book had been retitled but was still in print. Perhaps it would be of help to you as well. But really I'd just encourage you to believe what the Lord says of you because He is truth and speaks truth! Bless ya! 
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RE: No self confidence - 4/23/2008 11:15:10 PM
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deermousie
Posts: 1251
Joined: 9/26/2007
Status: online
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Liveloved
We need to see ourselves as God sees us, no more, no less.
I had the same struggle, psalm100. And ultimately, what it comes down to is just believing what Jesus says about us! I read a book by Josh McDowell many years ago called His Image/My Image which was on seeing yourself as God sees you---no more, no less. It really helped me. And then just getting to know Jesus more and more and really believing all that He says and learning to recognize the lies of the evil one (and my own lying thoughts about myself) and reject those lies.
This is so right on, Liveloved. I second it.
For me (who grew up with two child abusers who told me daily for 20 years that I was worthless) the matter comes down to this: tell the truth. God's Word is truth. It tells me who I am and what God thinks about me (see Isaiah 43 for starters!).
When the "tapes" in your mind start telling you you're nothing, fight back with Scripture. Repeat what the Bible says about you. You are a son of the King. Rejoice in it and make God's truth your own!
_____________________________
Want to know where a certain word or phrase in the Bible is found? www.biblegateway.com Yay!
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RE: No self confidence - 4/24/2008 12:25:10 AM
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sunshine4God
Posts: 5289
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: Sterling Ct.
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: JordanW
I feel the same way really, I underestimate myself a lot. Just pray to God to help you rekindle your confidence.
I feel the same exact way as you.
_____________________________
Matthew 5:16.
"Let your light so shine before men that they will see
your good deeds and glorify your Lord".
<Its me having fun at the beach!
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RE: No self confidence - 4/25/2008 9:00:49 AM
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kingdust
Posts: 473
Joined: 3/20/2006
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My thought on confidence is that having no confident in your self is a great asset to you, because nowhere in the Bible says that we must have confident in self, with many good reasons against having one- you can start clean, having no squatter to remove to move in with the new things from God.
For instance, if you have confidence in self which is sinful, guess what you would get stuck with and achieved eventually?
At least you have nothing going against the scripture, by not having it in self that is not only sinner but also to crucify.
Now the second thought.
How would you make a living without confidence in self?
Without having it, leaping into action is a hard thing to do.
The answer is the confidence in the Lord, not in you.
You simply depend on the Lord’s assurance to live your life that is not yours but His to begin with.
Since you don’t have confidence, you can ask and receive from the Lord.
But never ask for confidence in your self- that is against the command of denying to self.
Ask for confidence in the Lord.
What does that mean?
Simply you don’t trust and depend on your own IQ, strength, insight, thought, feeling, assessment, or plan to do things self-confidently, but ask for the guidance and trust His leading in your life journey to accomplish what the Lord assured for you to take.
Of course that takes seeking His face, not seeking what you have or don’t have or searching within self like the way of world does.
If self confidence has a lot to do with ‘trusting in self’, and the Bible says against trusting in self, it is nothing less than the tree of knowledge of good and evil with death curse on it.
It is only painted good and looking good after the cunning twist, but once eaten, your eyes will only open to see the naked self, that is, empty, helpless, miserable, vulnerable, insecure…, and only end up to cover the poor naked self with all kinds of fig tree leaves like pretense, flash witty talk, phony or actual makeup, fantasy, money, fame, wish-washy, jealousy, or even anger.
If you don't know, curse is on those who trust in self.
quote:
JER 17:5 This is what the LORD says:
"Cursed is the one who trusts in man,
who depends on flesh for his strength
Self confidence is like a self fire works mentioned in the Bible.
quote:
ISA 50:11 But now, all you who light fires
and provide yourselves with flaming torches,
go, walk in the light of your fires
and of the torches you have set ablaze.
This is what you shall receive from my hand:
You will lie down in torment.
If you have no light of confidence, then, try not to light up by burning with what you have but let God light up fro you by trusting in what He has for you.
quote:
ISA 50:10 Who among you fears the LORD
and obeys the word of his servant?
Let him who walks in the dark,
who has no light,
trust in the name of the LORD
and rely on his God.
_____________________________
Warning!
This is my unique way of thinking.
No judging or offending is intended.
If feeling offended, tell me like it is, so I can avoid counter-misunderstanding.
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RE: No self confidence - 4/25/2008 10:38:28 AM
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Liveloved
Posts: 1044
Joined: 1/22/2008
Status: offline
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quote:
The answer is the confidence in the Lord, not in you.
I agree, kingdust.
But her problem and desire is not really 'no self confidence'. It is believing lies about who she is. It is letting someone other than God define who you are, your worth and value. It is way bigger and way worse than NO self confidence. It is having a wrong, a lying image of one self which is very destructive.
So just as the one who places confidence in the 'self' has to learn and transfer their love away from self to Jesus, the OP has to transfer her love for the lying image to Jesus. (I am speaking from my experience here.) Anyway, it is a similar process but not the same IMO.
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RE: No self confidence - 4/25/2008 1:20:14 PM
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colliefan
Posts: 2214
Joined: 4/12/2005
From: Raleigh, NC
Status: offline
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Also, remember that Satan is the accuser of the brethren. He wants us to cower in fear or strut in pride. It is God's prefect love that casts out fear. It is His Holy Spirit that gives us the ability to walk the pilgrim path.
_____________________________
The grace of God is infinite and eternal. As it had no beginning, so it can have no end, and being an attribute of God, it is as boundless as infinitude.
A. W. Tozer (1897–1963)
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RE: No self confidence - 4/25/2008 1:53:55 PM
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txhoneydarlin
Posts: 616
Joined: 4/11/2008
From: Texas
Status: offline
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I struggled with the same thing you are struggling with. There are a couple of books that I read, complete with study guides, that have made a lot of difference in my life. One is The Search for Significance by Robert S. McGee; the other is Approval Addiction by Joyce Meyer. I also agree with everyone that having scripture for positive reinforcement really helps. Understanding God's unconditional love is a definite boost towards my self-confidence, especially understanding the sacrifices made for me, a lowly sinner who doesn't deserve anything! When I falter and feel unconfident, I only have to read the scriptures I have written down (I keep them in a little notebook small enough to even fit in my purse...) for a little boost - and after a while, constant reinforcement becomes habit, and your thinking changes. (One of my favorite scriptures is Isaiah 43: 1 - 5.) As others have said, it tends to be a long process - but every day, it gets easier. Please know that you aren't alone in your struggles - the Devil doesn't want us to feel loved, and he uses his wicked ways to discourage us and try to part us from our Savior and those who encourage us and love us.
_____________________________
- Melissa
Unforgiveness is like taking poison and hoping your enemy will die. - Joyce Meyer
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RE: No self confidence - 4/25/2008 7:19:50 PM
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Cloak
Posts: 3310
Joined: 1/4/2008
From: Canada
Status: offline
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Wow what a wise and beautiful counsel you've had from all posters here which I can't help but admire and second!
If you suffered from abuse, chances are you are more likely to suffer from self-esteem and self-confidence issues. I would say that you need to have a personal relationship with the Lord Jesus Christ.
I would also recommend 2 great books: Beauty for ashes by Joyce Meyer; and Finding peace for your heart by Stormie Omartian. Two great books about abuse and emotional healing which both authors suffered, endured, survived and even through God's grace have overcome.
If they can do it, so can you!
_____________________________
And My God shall meet ALL Your Needs according to His glorious riches in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 4: 19)
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RE: No self confidence - 4/25/2008 10:30:44 PM
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ladyichigo
Posts: 405
Joined: 10/23/2007
From: Makiki
Status: offline
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Build your self confidence in Christ Jesus, our Lord, our God.
"Who I am In Christ"
I am the salt of the earth (Matthew 5:13)
I am the light of the world (Matthew 5:14)
I am a child of God (John 1:12)
I am part of the true vine, a channel of Christ's life (John 15:1,5)
I am Christ's friend (John 15:1)
I am chosen and appointed by Christ to bear his fruit (John 15:16)
I am a slave of righteousness (Romans 6:18)
I am a son of God; God is spiritually my Father (Romans 8:14,15; Galatians 3:26; 4:6)
I am a joint heir with Christ, sharing His inheritance with Him (Romans 8:17)
I am a temple, a dwelling place, of God. His Spirit and His life dwell in me (1 Corinthians 3:16; 6:19)
I am united to the Lord and am one spirit with Him (1 Corinthians 6:17)
I am a member of Christ's Body (1 Corinthians 12:27; Ephesians 5:30)
I am a new creation (2 Corinthians 5:17)
I am reconciled to God and am a minister of reconciliation (2 Corinthians 5:18,19)
I am a son of God and one in Christ (Galatians 3:26,28)
I am an heir of God since I am a son of God (Galatians 4:6,7)
I am a saint (Ephesians 1:1; 1 Corinthians 1:2; Philippians 1:1; Colossians 1:2)
I am God's workmanship, His handiwork, born anew in Christ to do His work (Ephesians 2:10)
I am a fellow citizen with the rest of God's family (Ephesians 2:1)
I am a prisoner of Christ (Ephesians 3:1; 4:1)
I am righteous and holy through Christ (Ephesians 4:24)
I am a citizen of heaven, seated in heaven right now (Philippians 3:20; Ephesians 2:6)
I am hidden with Christ in God (Colossians 3:3)
I am an expression of the life of Christ because He is my life (Colossians 3:4)
I am chosen of God, holy and dearly loved (Colossians 3:12; Thessalonians 1:4)
I am a son of light and not of darkness (1 Thessalonians 5:5)
I am a holy partaker of a heavenly calling (Hebrews 3:1)
I am a partaker of Christ; I share in His life (Hebrews 3:14)
I am one of God's living stones, being built up in Christ as a spiritual house (1 Peter 2:5)
I am a member of a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for God's own possession (1 Peter 2:9,10)
I am an alien, stranger to this world in which I temporarily live (1 Peter 2:11)
I am an enemy of the devil (1 Peter 5:8)
I am a child of God and I will resemble Christ when He returns (1 John 3:1,2)
I am born of God, and the evil one cannot touch me (1 John 5:18)
_____________________________
Mari
Attending church and being confirmed does not define what a Christian is, though it may define a “religious” person.
David Wright - AiG
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RE: No self confidence - 4/25/2008 10:35:11 PM
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sunshine4God
Posts: 5289
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: Sterling Ct.
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: ladyichigo
Build your self confidence in Christ Jesus, our Lord, our God.
"Who I am In Christ"
I am the salt of the earth (Matthew 5:13)
I am the light of the world (Matthew 5:14)
I am a child of God (John 1:12)
I am part of the true vine, a channel of Christ's life (John 15:1,5)
I am Christ's friend (John 15:1)
I am chosen and appointed by Christ to bear his fruit (John 15:16)
I am a slave of righteousness (Romans 6:18)
I am a son of God; God is spiritually my Father (Romans 8:14,15; Galatians 3:26; 4:6)
I am a joint heir with Christ, sharing His inheritance with Him (Romans 8:17)
I am a temple, a dwelling place, of God. His Spirit and His life dwell in me (1 Corinthians 3:16; 6:19)
I am united to the Lord and am one spirit with Him (1 Corinthians 6:17)
I am a member of Christ's Body (1 Corinthians 12:27; Ephesians 5:30)
I am a new creation (2 Corinthians 5:17)
I am reconciled to God and am a minister of reconciliation (2 Corinthians 5:18,19)
I am a son of God and one in Christ (Galatians 3:26,28)
I am an heir of God since I am a son of God (Galatians 4:6,7)
I am a saint (Ephesians 1:1; 1 Corinthians 1:2; Philippians 1:1; Colossians 1:2)
I am God's workmanship, His handiwork, born anew in Christ to do His work (Ephesians 2:10)
I am a fellow citizen with the rest of God's family (Ephesians 2:1)
I am a prisoner of Christ (Ephesians 3:1; 4:1)
I am righteous and holy through Christ (Ephesians 4:24)
I am a citizen of heaven, seated in heaven right now (Philippians 3:20; Ephesians 2:6)
I am hidden with Christ in God (Colossians 3:3)
I am an expression of the life of Christ because He is my life (Colossians 3:4)
I am chosen of God, holy and dearly loved (Colossians 3:12; Thessalonians 1:4)
I am a son of light and not of darkness (1 Thessalonians 5:5)
I am a holy partaker of a heavenly calling (Hebrews 3:1)
I am a partaker of Christ; I share in His life (Hebrews 3:14)
I am one of God's living stones, being built up in Christ as a spiritual house (1 Peter 2:5)
I am a member of a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for God's own possession (1 Peter 2:9,10)
I am an alien, stranger to this world in which I temporarily live (1 Peter 2:11)
I am an enemy of the devil (1 Peter 5:8)
I am a child of God and I will resemble Christ when He returns (1 John 3:1,2)
I am born of God, and the evil one cannot touch me (1 John 5:18)
Wow,Thanks for all these verses.That is awesome!
_____________________________
Matthew 5:16.
"Let your light so shine before men that they will see
your good deeds and glorify your Lord".
<Its me having fun at the beach!
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RE: No self confidence - 4/25/2008 10:55:11 PM
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sunluvingirl
Posts: 1388
Joined: 6/11/2007
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: psalm100
You hear alot of times when people are very prideful and think too much of themselves. Well, what happens when you have no self confidence?
I tend to underestimate myself. I have no self confidence at all. I even had one person tell me that I need to be more confident in myself.
Any thoughts?
I think with those on both sides ( those with no self confidence & those who think too much of themselves) The problem is the same, simply focusing too much on ourselves. I know from experience when I felt like I'm just not as important or as capable as others that it really all came down to the fact that I was just as 'prideful' or self-centered as those who might be overly confident in themselves.
" Amen" to what has been said on here: "Keep your eyes on Jesus and believe that in Him you are the person he made you to be and every bit as important as the next person." Really, when it comes down to it, the verse that says,"without me you can do nothing" is just as true for the confident as for those who are not confident.
_____________________________
"Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a steadfast spirit within me."
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RE: No self confidence - 4/25/2008 11:10:23 PM
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lightshineon
Posts: 3321
Joined: 4/11/2005
Status: offline
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I had no self confidence, boy has the Lord lifted my head. I use to could not look anyone in the eye. I ask the Lord to show me he loved me, and he did. He ask in his word, I walk in love, and that for some reason gives freedom and confidence. I will pray for you, I know how it feels.
_____________________________
Remember, whenever you have pearls, there are always plenty of pigs nearby who would be glad to step on them.
F.T., 2007
Be sure you vote for those, whose views you want your children to emulate.
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RE: No self confidence - 4/26/2008 12:46:36 AM
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Ephesians4_32
Posts: 2278
Joined: 4/30/2005
From: The Crossroads of America
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: psalm100
You hear alot of times when people are very prideful and think too much of themselves. Well, what happens when you have no self confidence?
I tend to underestimate myself. I have no self confidence at all. I even had one person tell me that I need to be more confident in myself.
Any thoughts?
I seriously don't have any self-confidence either! But I know that you and I can do a few things by asking the Lord to help us.
2 Corinthians 12
9And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.
I haven't read any of the other answers to your post, but I want to suggest something. Is there any hobby or interest that you have? Is there a way to save up some money and take a class? Could you take some cooking classes? Cooking is a big help in Christian circles. So is musical talent (I have NONE --- people can't stand my singing and I don't play any instrument). I was always good at art, but never had any classes. Now I believe I'm getting old, but I have an idea that I may be able to use my art to benefit the younger children. I'm putting some thought into that. Maybe you can encourage another person who is hurting. That is so needed in the body of Christ!
Choose one area of your life that you want to concentrate on instead of doing nothing or instead of spreading yourself too thin. Ask God to help you to grow in that one thing and be willing to spend time on it.
Don't have confidence in self; have faith in God!
God has begun a good work in every believer.
Philippians 1
1Paul and Timotheus, the servants of Jesus Christ, to all the saints in Christ Jesus which are at Philippi, with the bishops and deacons:
2Grace be unto you, and peace, from God our Father, and from the Lord Jesus Christ.
3I thank my God upon every remembrance of you,
4Always in every prayer of mine for you all making request with joy,
5For your fellowship in the gospel from the first day until now;
6Being confident of this very thing, that he which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ.
God bless!
_____________________________
“To suppose that whatever God requireth of us that we have power of ourselves to do, is to make the cross and grace of Jesus Christ of none effect.” - John Owen
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RE: No self confidence - 4/26/2008 10:21:21 PM
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psalm100
Posts: 265
Status: offline
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Thanks so much for all of your replies. I plan to read some of the books you all posted. I hate this self confidence thing. It's taking a toll on my personal, spiritual and work life. Please continue to pray for me.
_____________________________
Psalm 84:12 O Lord of hosts, blessed is the man that trusteth in thee.
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RE: No self confidence - 4/28/2008 8:19:05 AM
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Ignited-Faith
Posts: 360
Joined: 2/22/2008
Status: offline
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Keep your eyes on the Lord and Guard your Thoughts!
(Meditate on Scripture, and DO what it says!!!)
God bless you!
"Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things."
Philippians 4:8
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RE: No self confidence - 4/28/2008 8:37:52 AM
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Calea37
Posts: 713
Joined: 10/2/2007
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: ladyichigo
Build your self confidence in Christ Jesus, our Lord, our God.
"Who I am In Christ"
I am the salt of the earth (Matthew 5:13)
I am the light of the world (Matthew 5:14)
I am a child of God (John 1:12)
I am part of the true vine, a channel of Christ's life (John 15:1,5)
I am Christ's friend (John 15:1)
I am chosen and appointed by Christ to bear his fruit (John 15:16)
I am a slave of righteousness (Romans 6:18)
I am a son of God; God is spiritually my Father (Romans 8:14,15; Galatians 3:26; 4:6)
I am a joint heir with Christ, sharing His inheritance with Him (Romans 8:17)
I am a temple, a dwelling place, of God. His Spirit and His life dwell in me (1 Corinthians 3:16; 6:19)
I am united to the Lord and am one spirit with Him (1 Corinthians 6:17)
I am a member of Christ's Body (1 Corinthians 12:27; Ephesians 5:30)
I am a new creation (2 Corinthians 5:17)
I am reconciled to God and am a minister of reconciliation (2 Corinthians 5:18,19)
I am a son of God and one in Christ (Galatians 3:26,28)
I am an heir of God since I am a son of God (Galatians 4:6,7)
I am a saint (Ephesians 1:1; 1 Corinthians 1:2; Philippians 1:1; Colossians 1:2)
I am God's workmanship, His handiwork, born anew in Christ to do His work (Ephesians 2:10)
I am a fellow citizen with the rest of God's family (Ephesians 2:1)
I am a prisoner of Christ (Ephesians 3:1; 4:1)
I am righteous and holy through Christ (Ephesians 4:24)
I am a citizen of heaven, seated in heaven right now (Philippians 3:20; Ephesians 2:6)
I am hidden with Christ in God (Colossians 3:3)
I am an expression of the life of Christ because He is my life (Colossians 3:4)
I am chosen of God, holy and dearly loved (Colossians 3:12; Thessalonians 1:4)
I am a son of light and not of darkness (1 Thessalonians 5:5)
I am a holy partaker of a heavenly calling (Hebrews 3:1)
I am a partaker of Christ; I share in His life (Hebrews 3:14)
I am one of God's living stones, being built up in Christ as a spiritual house (1 Peter 2:5)
I am a member of a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for God's own possession (1 Peter 2:9,10)
I am an alien, stranger to this world in which I temporarily live (1 Peter 2:11)
I am an enemy of the devil (1 Peter 5:8)
I am a child of God and I will resemble Christ when He returns (1 John 3:1,2)
I am born of God, and the evil one cannot touch me (1 John 5:18)
This is why I liked the Neil Anderson book so well: Overcoming Negative Self-Image... Those passages can be found in this book. I love them. There is another bunch of Scripture references about being reconciled to God in Christ, by the grace of God, with more Scripture to look up for that. Also many verses in a section he entitles "Twenty Cans of Success" (I love it because the focus is always on GOD and what we can do because of HIM!) It is a short book, but so very helpful! If you liked that, you will enjoy this book.
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Calea
Isaiah 2:22 Stop trusting in man, who has but a breath in his nostrils. Of what account is he?
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