WOW...now what? (Full Version)

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BJinWA -> WOW...now what? (4/25/2008 11:13:35 AM)

About one year ago i discovered that my long-time bf was cheating on me, in a most vile and disgusting way. i have not seen or talked to him in many months. he would occassionally send cute little emails that he had forwarded, but, other then that there has been no contact.

so, I've reached the point where it doesn't hurt as much and i was almost over the hurt.

yesterday he showed up at my work. he brought donuts, claiming he still owed me $0.80. i was so shocked. he was very polite, charming and superficial. in return i thanked him for the donuts and was polite and superficial.

now i feel like i've had a giant setback in getting over him. why would he do this? he knows that i have no intention of ever getting back with him. why won't he let me get on with my life? i have made it clear to him that i want no further contact.

the entire situation is so convoluted.



April75 -> RE: WOW...now what? (4/25/2008 11:20:46 AM)

I wouldn't think anything of it. He probably wants you back and thinks you're going to fall for him again. If you want to know why you can ask him. If you don't then tell him not to ever come to your job again and to stop trying to play games with you. Simple.



ChoirDJ -> RE: WOW...now what? (4/25/2008 11:23:53 AM)

why would he do this? he knows that i have no intention of ever getting back with him. why won't he let me get on with my life?

#1) Perhaps he realizes the grass isn't greener on the other side of the fence and wants back what he lost? That's a pretty common reason for someone to try to come back into the picture. Guilt? Who knows, but is it really important at this stage?

#2) You don't need his permission or blessing to move on with your life. It's normal to have ambivalent feelings about breaking up with someone you have a history with. The key is to not let those feelings supercede good judgement.

Are you considering getting back together with him?



BJinWA -> RE: WOW...now what? (4/25/2008 11:30:13 AM)

quote:

Are you considering getting back together with him?


absolutely not...i have told him not to e-mail me, call me, send me presents or contact my kids. i guess i left out "don't come see me at work".

i thank God every day for revealing the kind of person he was. it was just so weird looking up from my desk and seeing him there. i think i had to physically lift my chin off my desk...LOL



AlwaysR8chel -> RE: WOW...now what? (4/25/2008 11:32:21 AM)

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......... bummer. [:o]

Did ya ever consider that maybe the enemy uses the past to distract us from the here and now?

Sometimes difficulties don't have anything to do with us.... but others.



fluffmonkey -> RE: WOW...now what? (4/25/2008 3:01:02 PM)

Its like when your riding your bike and all suddenly you hit this root, in makes stumble a bit...but will it make you fall or will you catch your balance? If you do fall will you get up?

I know its hard when your getting over someone and then they call your or send an email... but you gotta be strong and not let them get to you, I went threw alot of ups and downs because a guy who broke up with me and then month later would call and say sorry and call and then not call for so long and then call me again...to point where I finally was like I dont want to hear it any more, I am not going to let you stand in the way of being happy and having a life... and finally he stoped calling and stop emailing me...

It may take time but dont let this guy bother you anymore.... and eventually he will get the message too.



crankius -> RE: WOW...now what? (4/25/2008 3:06:05 PM)

quote:

absolutely not...i have told him not to e-mail me, call me, send me presents or contact my kids. i guess i left out "don't come see me at work".


Given this information, I think his coming to your work was creepy.



buckifn -> RE: WOW...now what? (4/25/2008 6:47:00 PM)

I don't see why it would be something that would in any way make you want to be back with him again. I'd suggest 1 of 2 things...1. Relocate in a place he will not know how to contact you, including a new job, or 2. Obtain a restraining order and make sure it includes your workplace.



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