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RE: Can we be real here? - 4/26/2008 7:21:54 PM
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shemaromans
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quote:
ORIGINAL: CoeurdeLeon
Sure, Shema. This is just one of those instances where I don't wish to expend the energy fruitlessly trying to explain myself. I said it twice. That's my limit at this particular moment in time.
So playfully badgering or provoking you right now would be a bad idea, right? 
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"But as for me, it is good to be near God." Psalm 73:28
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RE: Can we be real here? - 4/26/2008 7:34:58 PM
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Dakotasunbeam
Posts: 1146
Joined: 6/2/2005
From: Midwest USA
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quote:
There was some discussion on the social sites thread concerning people not feeling the freedom to be who they really are around Christians, but having that freedom around the lost.
This is a concept that is totally foreign to me. I am who I am no matter where I am.
Are you?
Yes. I do not necessarily understand the concept of being more open with unbelievers than believers--because they are the world. We are light and they are darkness. Light lives in me, so how can I feel more comfortable around darkness?
That said, there are plenty of people who call themselves Christians and do not practise as such. Some are judgemental, some are immoral, some do what they feel. But the underlying core is that some folks really aren't practising believers. God calls us to notice unbelievers by their fruit, and warns us that evil communication corrupts good manners. This is so true, I've seen it SO much. So I understand that coming into any "church" or "christian" forum, some people won't really have a personal relationship with Jesus Christ.
I personally believe in being ones self around anyone. To not do so, would seem duplicitous to me. God wants us to have integrity. And I believe that is still important.
I do not need to know everything about every one on this forum or elsewhere. I'm not one of those enquiring minds that just needs to know someone else's business. This is a public forum, and there are some bad people out there, so it is wise to protect some information. But by the same token, in dealing with human beings one has to expect people to be, well, people. People make mistakes and they don't always say the right thing. Sometimes people don't say what we want to hear. Sometimes feelings get hurt, somtimes we take offense. That's a given living in a sinful world.
What separates the overcomer from the rest, however, is the ability to forgive and move on. Bitterness, unforgiveness, and resentment is a poisonous root that only kills the host. It stifles people and forbids them to develop strong relationships and meaningful friendships. They latch on to any unkind or misinterpreted thing and nurse it until it becomes a monster. Let it Go.
Life is too short to stay walled up, dammed up, and holed up in your own distrust and resentment. Being real is essential to a healthy life. Jesus Christ is all about reconcilliation. The faster you can forgive other believers and move on, the better, because you may need to forgive them again in the next moment. If believers could grab on to this, they could walk in victory with each other. Life requires a little vulnerability to be sweet.
Yes, I believe there are certain things other Christians may "get down on me" for, but generally, those things are subjective. And if they are subjective, I have no condemnation; but I will not do them around someone else for fear of stumbling my brother. I can tell you, I've been most grateful for the Christians who were very plain with me and toiled with me in the scriptures to bring me to truth and understanding. As I began to see how everything articulates or fits together in the Bible, it made it clear and very easy for me to see whether what someone says is biblical or not.
IRL, I actually had a conversation with a guy who said he was a christian but believed sleeping around was OK. We both had a long conversation with each other, pointing out scripture and etc. He wasn't convinced, though.  I wasn't angry at him at all--it was his loss to believe that.
As a believer if someone points out something that I am doing wrong, one of two things will occur.
1. I will search scriptures and learn that what they say is right
2. I will search scriptures and learn that what they say is false.
There's no need to ever be in confusion about righteous living, when there's the Bible with all of the answers laid out. I don't feel condemnation unless deep down I know that what I'm doing is wrong, or flirting with wrong.
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RE: Can we be real here? - 4/26/2008 7:40:45 PM
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shemaromans
Posts: 3854
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quote:
Also, you can type something out thinking it will be taken one way, then someone can come along and interpert it totally opposite from what you had in mind.
Repeating...
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"But as for me, it is good to be near God." Psalm 73:28
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RE: Can we be real here? - 4/26/2008 10:47:48 PM
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John_O
Posts: 6950
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Dakotasunbeam
As a believer if someone points out something that I am doing wrong, one of two things will occur.
1. I will search scriptures and learn that what they say is right
2. I will search scriptures and learn that what they say is false.
There's no need to ever be in confusion about righteous living, when there's the Bible with all of the answers laid out. I don't feel condemnation unless deep down I know that what I'm doing is wrong, or flirting with wrong.
Great post DSB!!!
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Psalms 46:10 Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth.
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RE: Can we be real here? - 4/27/2008 6:25:39 AM
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makarizo
Posts: 2777
Joined: 4/13/2005
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quote:
ORIGINAL: CoeurdeLeon
........telling me that if I were focused on scripture (implication being that I'm not, disclaimer notwithstanding), I would be putting God's word out there (implication being that I'm not) probably would be.
*thinking ^ about how very little scripture (nominal) is actually used in the single section of CW forums*
sooooooooooooooo little, that the "scripture minded" comments leave me wondering a bit.
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RE: Can we be real here? - 4/27/2008 7:28:57 AM
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CoeurdeLeon
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Makes you wonder exactly what, doer?
Expressing complete thoughts might make you slightly less misunderstood.
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When I have a little money I buy Books.
If any left over I buy food and clothes.
Erasmus
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RE: Can we be real here? - 4/27/2008 7:55:33 AM
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mutinywxgirl
Posts: 13077
Joined: 4/29/2005
From: west coast of FL
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quote:
ORIGINAL: CoeurdeLeon
Makes you wonder exactly what, doer?
Expressing complete thoughts might make you slightly less misunderstood.
My sentiments, exactly.
_____________________________
When blood and water hit the ground.
Walls we couldn't move came crashing down.
We were free and made alive.
The day true love died. The day true love died.
THE ROWDIES ARE BACK!!!!!!!
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RE: Can we be real here? - 4/27/2008 12:17:30 PM
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makarizo
Posts: 2777
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quote:
ORIGINAL: CoeurdeLeon
Makes you wonder exactly what, doer?
Expressing complete thoughts might make you slightly less misunderstood.
makes me wonder where the faith is, and how I can share mine... in what way, ... where is the connection.
not a judgment on individuals, more of an observation without surmising, without conclusion, only what is obvious.
In real life, I carry a bible with me just about everywhere, hardly ever have a conversation without including Jesus, never miss an opportunity to help someone out, or to encourage someone to surrender to Jesus.... I constantly pray for these opportunities. (I hope that sounds like a normal thing)
do I set my bible aside when I come to the singles' forum?
.......... if that is what happened, I probably wouldn't come to the singles' forum very much.
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RE: Can we be real here? - 4/27/2008 4:38:55 PM
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Prairiehiker
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Perhaps the question can be rephrased as "can we be real and feel safe here?"
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RE: Can we be real here? - 4/27/2008 8:41:14 PM
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Focusing
Posts: 5256
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Prairiehiker
Perhaps the question can be rephrased as "can we be real and feel safe here?"
Excellent question ...
We need to guard our hearts, we need to use discretion, and we need to be careful what we say and how we say it. The Bible instructs us Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life. Proverbs 4:23
This is not to say be deceitful ... I am an honest person, in all circumstances. Sometimes brutally honest. The trick of "being real" here is how much do we share? And perhaps we need to ask ourselves, should we share it? What purpose would it serve?
Can we be real here ... in the singles forums? Personally, I have found the singles forums to be more of a place to hang out and have fun ... which in itself is fine, but it's not necessarily a place to share some of the difficult life lessons I have been through ... and I have found if I want to share Bible verses, there are other forums on CW that are a better place to do so.
For me, I have a special fondness for those who will include Bible verses in their posts ... something I think is an integral part of our lives as Christians, and something that we should not set aside just because we come in here to socialize. It's a part of who I am.
I just wanted to quote Dakota because she said it very well ...
As a believer if someone points out something that I am doing wrong, one of two things will occur.
1. I will search scriptures and learn that what they say is right
2. I will search scriptures and learn that what they say is false.
As believers, I think this is key, and Scripture is the bottom line. If we are out of alignment with God's Word, we need to stop and figure out why.
_____________________________
Sam
The LORD is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer, my God, my rock, in whom I take refuge; my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold. Psalm 18:2
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RE: Can we be real here? - 4/27/2008 9:28:25 PM
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John_O
Posts: 6950
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Focusing
I just wanted to quote Dakota because she said it very well ...
As a believer if someone points out something that I am doing wrong, one of two things will occur.
1. I will search scriptures and learn that what they say is right
2. I will search scriptures and learn that what they say is false.
As believers, I think this is key, and Scripture is the bottom line. If we are out of alignment with God's Word, we need to stop and figure out why.
So if we are more comfortable being "real" with non-Christians does that point that we are out of line somehow? Or that the rest of the Christians are out of line?
_____________________________
Psalms 46:10 Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth.
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RE: Can we be real here? - 4/27/2008 9:39:11 PM
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besiderself
Posts: 1292
Joined: 11/8/2007
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quote:
ORIGINAL: John_O
quote:
ORIGINAL: Focusing
I just wanted to quote Dakota because she said it very well ...
As a believer if someone points out something that I am doing wrong, one of two things will occur.
1. I will search scriptures and learn that what they say is right
2. I will search scriptures and learn that what they say is false.
As believers, I think this is key, and Scripture is the bottom line. If we are out of alignment with God's Word, we need to stop and figure out why.
So if we are more comfortable being "real" with non-Christians does that point that we are out of line somehow? Or that the rest of the Christians are out of line?
At the risk of being accused of situational ethics, I think each situation would have to be evaluated individually. I don't think there's any way that one could decide this in a general statement.
For myself, if I'm feeling more comfortable around non-Christians, that's a red flag. Likely I'm out of line somehow.
But I do understand that Christians can be very ugly and judgmental, and that under certain (even non-sinful) conditions, it might very well be more comfortable to be with non-Christians.
besiderself
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Besiderself's Batty Belfry
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RE: Can we be real here? - 4/27/2008 9:55:09 PM
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Focusing
Posts: 5256
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quote:
ORIGINAL: John_O
So if we are more comfortable being "real" with non-Christians does that point that we are out of line somehow? Or that the rest of the Christians are out of line?
A non-Christian will not see things the same way I do, from a spiritual perspective, as they do not have the Holy Spirit within them. It's as if we are speaking two different languages, kwim? Personally, I am more comfortable with other believers. It's just where I am in my Walk.
Perhaps this question needs to be answered by someone who does feel more comfortable being "real" with non-Christians ...
However, I am happy to give my two cents ... we can all get out of line sometimes. It's human nature. I think we all need to be on guard about being legalistic and judgmental. We need to yank the plank out of our own eye before telling someone else they have a speck in theirs.
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Sam
The LORD is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer, my God, my rock, in whom I take refuge; my shield and the horn of my salvation, my stronghold. Psalm 18:2
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RE: Can we be real here? - 4/27/2008 10:24:40 PM
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John_O
Posts: 6950
Joined: 9/5/2006
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Tinkerbell_
I think it's a matter of both.
There are times when I know I'm screwing up so I don't even bring it up to anyone because I don't want to get a lecture, even though I know I deserve to be called out.
Then there are times that others have no problem telling me I'm screwing up when I know I'm not. And it's not a, "Tink darling...I would really like to pray for you about this..." it's more of a "You do know that doing that makes you look like...(fill in the blank)..." when all they base it on is opinion and personal conviction and not scripture.
Did that make any sense or do I just need to throw the blanket back over my head? 
Made perfect sense. In this area there are a lot of very legalistic people. I believe they are normally called "holiness" types. Long sleeves all year round. Ladies always in dresses etc. Some of them can be very adamant about their beliefs. I've yet to find any of that required in the bible however.
So I can see where you are coming from on that.
I always figured if they didn't have a specific scripture (or group of scriptures) that I was violating then they knew even less about it than I did.
_____________________________
Psalms 46:10 Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth.
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RE: Can we be real here? - 4/28/2008 7:15:26 AM
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.Pammy
Posts: 4018
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: Mechanicsburg, PA, USA
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After reading everything here, I don't have much to add except to agree that wisdom and discretion are most definitely called for, always, and especially here on the web. I, myself, even have one or two things I'm reluctant to divulge even to you, my friends, simply because I'm not up for an argument (not assuming anyone would want to argue, but someone might.)
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Pam
<< my mother
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