Best friend, an opposite sex? is it possible?Pls help me to slove this. (Full Version)

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saraibaba -> Best friend, an opposite sex? is it possible?Pls help me to slove this. (4/28/2008 4:43:46 AM)

My husband know this girl thru a mutual friend.They become really good friend and take care of each other,for "prevention" my hubby, included me in the relationship, he invited her to visit our church and then she came to my house and spent time with us, she is married and currently going thru a hard time with her husband.She started seeking advise from us, mostly from my husband as i am always travelling for my work. She told my husband that she has a liking for him and respect him like a brother, because of God,she said that although she has the thought but she should not and will not put her thought into action. Each time, i am away, she will ask my husband out, when i am in town, she will only text him as she claimed that she does not wanted to interfer with our family time. My husband had assured me that both of them are just really good friend and had no intention of anything more or any initimate relationship. I should trust the God and the God in both of them. Somehow, or for some reason, i have no peace in my heart. She text my husband everyday, and asked him for advise on every decisions she wanted to make.My husband have many good friends of opposite sex and i know all of them but i just feel very different and uncomfortable with this girl. I do not wanted to stop my husband for making any friends and by do so he felt that i did not trust him or the God in him. My hubby find it easier to open up and feel safe to talk to her compared to me. Is there a problem with me? or i am jelous or too sensitive? Pls Help.



Szaftoo -> RE: Best friend, an opposite sex? is it possible?Pls help me to slove this. (4/28/2008 10:07:57 AM)

Welcome.
The relationship between your husband and this woman is extremely unhealthy. It doesn't matter that you know about it or he includes you by inviting her to your house, this is not a good idea.



saraibaba -> RE: Best friend, an opposite sex? is it possible?Pls help me to slove this. (4/28/2008 12:03:04 PM)

Dear Szaftoo,
Since that the relationship is unhealthy, what can i do about this. Can you give me some advise. Had asked my hubby a few times, he kept saying that i should trust the God in him.



DaveW -> RE: Best friend, an opposite sex? is it possible?Pls help me to slove this. (4/28/2008 12:36:28 PM)

quote:

. She told my husband that she has a liking for him ...she said that although she has the thought but she should not and will not put her thought into action.
"The thought?" Of romance or sex with him?

This is a huge red flag and probably the reason you are so concerned. I would be also.

Find her someone else to talk to and have your husband break it off, the sooner the better. In a desparate place those thoughts can be killers.



saraibaba -> RE: Best friend, an opposite sex? is it possible?Pls help me to slove this. (4/28/2008 12:50:29 PM)

"The thought" is romance with him, she had told my hubby that she wishes her husband is like him. Had find her somebody to talk too from the church but still keep calling and text my husband. What should i do to stop her? I found it difficult to trust what my husband had told me. How do i talk to my husband about my frustration and feeling?



Szaftoo -> RE: Best friend, an opposite sex? is it possible?Pls help me to slove this. (4/28/2008 1:07:03 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: saraibaba
Dear Szaftoo,
Since that the relationship is unhealthy, what can i do about this. Can you give me some advise. Had asked my hubby a few times, he kept saying that i should trust the God in him.


This is not about trust, it's about doing what is appropriate when you or someone you are relating to is married. It's about boundaries and not crossing them. Married people, which includes this woman, should never discuss the problems in their relationship with outsiders.
You need to have a serious talk with your husband and tell him you feel his relationship with this woman is not healthy and you would like him to stop all contact with her. Tell him how it makes you feel.
It sounds like your husband could be a bit defensive and making excuses so he may not listen. Pray, pray, pray and consider speaking to your pastor if you see no changes in your husband.



saraibaba -> RE: Best friend, an opposite sex? is it possible?Pls help me to slove this. (4/28/2008 1:24:54 PM)

Thanks, Szaftoo. Your answer is a big relief for me, I will pray, pray and pray. Thanks



lastblast -> RE: Best friend, an opposite sex? is it possible?Pls help me to slove this. (4/28/2008 8:34:14 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: saraibaba

"The thought" is romance with him, she had told my hubby that she wishes her husband is like him. Had find her somebody to talk too from the church but still keep calling and text my husband. What should i do to stop her? I found it difficult to trust what my husband had told me. How do i talk to my husband about my frustration and feeling?


This woman is after your husband. The fact that she shared her "thoughts" with him shows that she WANTS him to know how she is thinking of him. Sorry, but when Christians are married, there is no room for opposite friends---unless they are mutual family friends and they do not hang out together one on one and "lean" on each other as this woman is doing with your husband. She needs to lean on her OWN husband, or find a girlfriend to confide in(hopefully a Godly one who encourage her to do what's right in the Lord's sight). Your husband, by continuing this relationship is NOT honoring you as his wife. Sorry, but that is true.



ta_mosquito -> RE: Best friend, an opposite sex? is it possible?Pls help me to slove this. (4/29/2008 5:34:10 PM)

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