Help...with a friend? (Full Version)

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Snowdrift -> Help...with a friend? (4/29/2008 9:06:58 PM)

I have a friend who has been shaky in faith for the past year or so, but yesterday he admitted to me that he finally, truly didn't believe in God or the Christian faith. His main reason, he says, is because the Bible says God doesn't give us more than we can handle, in terms of trials and tests, but if that was true why do people commit suicide? He had a bunch of other questions and no matter how much I tried to explain this idea of trials and whatnot he insisted that he just can't believe. I don't know what to do and I feel like I'm doing a poor job trying to explain to him...He's a close friend and I feel incredibly sad that he's lost his faith, and I feel like I have nobody with whom to talk about this myself, because my parents are also skeptics that I've been trying to convince and my friends aren't that religious either. The worst thing is that he, ironically, was chosen to go on a missions trip this summer at church, and he says he's still going to go on with it even though he himself doesn't believe, and he won't even talk to anybody else about this. What should I do?



SavedByGraceMD -> RE: Help...with a friend? (4/29/2008 9:15:30 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Snowdrift

I have a friend who has been shaky in faith for the past year or so, but yesterday he admitted to me that he finally, truly didn't believe in God or the Christian faith. His main reason, he says, is because the Bible says God doesn't give us more than we can handle, in terms of trials and tests, but if that was true why do people commit suicide? He had a bunch of other questions and no matter how much I tried to explain this idea of trials and whatnot he insisted that he just can't believe. I don't know what to do and I feel like I'm doing a poor job trying to explain to him...He's a close friend and I feel incredibly sad that he's lost his faith, and I feel like I have nobody with whom to talk about this myself, because my parents are also skeptics that I've been trying to convince and my friends aren't that religious either. The worst thing is that he, ironically, was chosen to go on a missions trip this summer at church, and he says he's still going to go on with it even though he himself doesn't believe, and he won't even talk to anybody else about this. What should I do?


Welcome Snowdrift.

Tough question. There is a great thread on here about suicide, and if it is forgiven or not. You may get some info in there that will help you. I guess that is a tough one, but I think it all comes down to if we are leaning on God when those trials come, or try to deal with it ourself. Alone we will fail, with the grace of God we will not. But I can't speak from experience. I have been through a lot of bad things, but never to the point of even considering suicide. I hope you get the help you are looking for, and hope your friend remains open. If that is his main reason for not believing, he can't be that far off.



uniteforlife -> RE: Help...with a friend? (4/29/2008 9:29:11 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Snowdrift

I have a friend who has been shaky in faith for the past year or so, but yesterday he admitted to me that he finally, truly didn't believe in God or the Christian faith. His main reason, he says, is because the Bible says God doesn't give us more than we can handle, in terms of trials and tests, but if that was true why do people commit suicide? He had a bunch of other questions and no matter how much I tried to explain this idea of trials and whatnot he insisted that he just can't believe. I don't know what to do and I feel like I'm doing a poor job trying to explain to him...He's a close friend and I feel incredibly sad that he's lost his faith, and I feel like I have nobody with whom to talk about this myself, because my parents are also skeptics that I've been trying to convince and my friends aren't that religious either. The worst thing is that he, ironically, was chosen to go on a missions trip this summer at church, and he says he's still going to go on with it even though he himself doesn't believe, and he won't even talk to anybody else about this. What should I do?



Sounds like a pretty hard situation you're in. Im no bible scholar, but where does it say God will not give us more than we can handle? I ask this not as a challenge, but because Ive never read that and I would like to.

These are questions that are unanswerable, at least as far as my limited wisdom goes. Why are there suicides, why are there wars, why are there people that hurt children, why are there people that murder? Why are there people on this earth that would cause any harm to other people?

Are there people who have lost their way? Definitely, yes? I have plenty of times myself. The light cannot exist without the dark. But we always have a choice.

Maybe talk to your friend about doing some work with people who are considering ending their lives. Maybe spending some time with them. Showing them the human kindness they desperately need. Now that my friend, is a noble pursuit.



ladyichigo -> RE: Help...with a friend? (4/29/2008 10:01:14 PM)

quote:

he says, is because the Bible says God doesn't give us more than we can handle, in terms of trials and tests,

I believe this teaching is from the misuse of this verse: (please correct me if I’m wrong)

1 Corinthians 10:13
13No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it.

Paul is talking about temptation. Not trials and tribulations.

Actually we are put through trials/tribulations and we are to consider them pure joy!

James 1:1-7
1James, a servant of God and of the Lord Jesus Christ,
To the twelve tribes scattered among the nations: Greetings.
2Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. 4Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. 5If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. 6But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. 7That man should not think he will receive anything from the Lord; 8he is a double-minded man, unstable in all he does.



BibleL7 -> RE: Help...with a friend? (4/30/2008 1:13:04 AM)

Yeppers Mari the very Scripture. And of course the Scripture is not to unbelievers and the promise of a way of escape says He will provide it not that we will take it. Also without God in our lives and faith in Him we can not bear it nor do we have hope, joy or peace.

If your friend continues to hold to not believing tell your pastor or elders in the church before he goes on a missionary trip. If unbelievers go with a church on a trip that is meant to show the love of God then it is compromised from the start. Your friend is being hypocritical in that.

Just the opinion of a small town preacher



terryjohn -> RE: Help...with a friend? (4/30/2008 4:29:20 PM)

I remember a story about a great Christian who once met a poor doorman at his gentlemens club in London many years ago who had great faith in and love for Christ despite having only a crust of bread and watered down soup to eat once a day. This poor man's faith shook the faith of the rich man for he knew in his heart he would find it hard to be as content without all he had amassed.

God is always about showing us how well off we are in comparison to others. Have faith that God will do this for your friend but live with this attitude that Romans 8:18... our present sufferings are not worth comparing with the glory that will be revealed in us.

Romans 8:31-39
31 What, then, shall we say in response to this? If God is for us, who can be against us? 32 He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all--how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things? 33 Who will bring any charge against those whom God has chosen? It is God who justifies. 34 Who is he that condemns? Christ Jesus, who died--more than that, who was raised to life--is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us. 35 Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? 36 As it is written: "For your sake we face death all day long; we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered." 37 No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. 38 For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, 39 neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

I hear God saying be strong and not in the sense that we can in and of ourselves overcome our problems but in the creative sense like let there be light!



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