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magdaleine -> RE: Magdaleine's Alabaster Atrium (7/12/2008 12:49:43 AM)
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quote:
Hi Maggie, you're online! I thought that you would be away for the week!?
Hey Mike! I think I signed off to leave just about the time you were writing that.
Hi Trish, Cynthia and Ray!
Dove, I'm glad you've gotten some things taken care of and now out of the way. I agree. It was VERY low of your husband to do what he did.
At camp was a woman whose husband announced last September that he was leaving but he hasn't left yet. The intended date is this September. I can't imagine anyone doing something like that. How difficult to live with that hanging over for you for a year! The woman is now very worried about how she will manage financially but she at least realizes that it's time to let him go and not fight to keep him with her. They have two sons who are both very high special needs. It is her birthday today and she knew that there would be no celebration for her. The man is abusive not only emotionally and mentally but physically and her kids are so afraid of their dad that they are afraid to say in the up-coming court appearance for custody that they don't want to spend more than one day a month with him. They're afraid what he would do to them if they did so, in their fear, they're saying they want to spend equal time with their parents. How sad! I'm hoping I can stay in touch to encourage her in whatever ways I can.
Welcome back, Slushie! I'm glad you found humour in your situation and the leader's response. I hope they keep their promise about next year. Do you want to share anything about the conference you attended? And yes, I went on a trip. More later.
But this is a good place to tell a follow up to the story I told you before you left. Remember how I told about being kicked out of a program that I had hoped to become a leader in? Well, there is a church that runs the same program on its own. They are smaller but completely independent of the other group. I happened to meet the leader of that today at a funeral. I had met him several years ago and apparently he had wanted to connect with me but had no way to get hold of me so was delighted that I went up to him and introduced myself. I wants to meet to see if I might be a good candidate to help him and his wife run this program. I'd love to do that, though I told him that I would like him to speak to the leader of the other group to get his version of why I was kicked out. So I guess I'll wait and see what happens.
There is so much to tell about that I don't think I have time tonight. Suffice to say for now that I had a wonderful time. For those who, like Slushie, missed that I was going away, dh and I went to a small family camp in the Whiteshell Provincial Park. The park is many hundred square miles on the eastern border of Manitoba and is completely covered with forest and lakes. The camp was full with 50 guests last weekend, half of those were kids from two years up to 15. Many people couldn't stay the whole week, however, so there were only 24 of us by the end of the week. It wasn't a large group but that was nice because it was easy to get to know everyone and spend time with them all. Most people I already knew from my former church or from other times at that camp.
My ds4 just came online to chat with me from Malaysia, so I may as well write a bit more while I'm chatting with him.
Dh was camp cook and I often haven't gone when he's gone but I was attracted by the speaker this time--a man who used to be an associate pastor at the church I used to attend. It's been a long time since I've seen much of him but have wanted to get to know his wife a bit better and I accomplished that this week, for which I was glad.
The sessions were good--focussed on 1 John. It was a good thing I took my computer because the speaker planned to use powerpoint slides but didn't realize that he would need an adapter between the projector and his computer because it is a Mac. There was someone else with a PC computer so for the first half of the week he ran the slides through his machine but he was one of the ones who left early, at which time my computer was put to work. I have never worked with Power Point or a projector before but it was fun to learn and I'm glad I had the chance.
Each day was very relaxed. Breakfast at 9:00, session at 10:30 for an hour to an hour and a half, lunch at 12:30 and then the rest of the day to do whatever you wanted. There were options in the afternoon and evening if you wanted: hiking, skiing, tubing, canoeing, swimming, puzzles, board games and so on. In the evenings there were things like movies, karaoke, volleyball, talent night, etc. I skipped most of those group activities but tried to be sociable on a smaller scale--spending my afternoons in the main lodge reading or using my computer until someone came around who was interested in talking. I played a game of Scrabble with a university math professor who seems to have the Scrabble dictionary memorized and lost miserably. But when we played a Bible Trivia game I was acknowledged as the master in that even though, in the end, I lost. Sigh.
Something interesting happened. A good chunk of 1 John, which we were studying at camp, is talking about how, if you claim to be a Christian but don't love fellow Christians, you're a liar. John talks about other signs of whether you're a Christian or not but my story is focussed on this particular thing. Dh seems to always have one person in his life that he hates and is very bitter about. One of the people who manages the camp has become one of those people in the last few years.
She said soemthing to him that I'm quite sure wasn't said in anger or meanness but which he took great offense at. He was so livid I couldn't even stand to be in his presence and went elsewhere. He followed shortly after, wanting to know why I had left and, I guess, to continue venting and sharing his problem with me. we talked for quite a long time, and me not being all that sympathetic to him. After all, we'd been talking about how important loving other Christians is and here he was, doing the very opposite. But he listened to everything I had to say. I was kind and loving about it (at least I tried to be) but also very adamant about the wrongness of his attitude and response to this person. He had a hard time connecting the dots on how to change the way he responds to such things. I tried to explain to him what I've learned in the past 6-7 years--the solution is not to focus on the problem but rather to focus on God and make him your primary focus and when you do that, he begins to make changes in you--but he just couldn't seem to get it.
That was Wednesday evening. This morning (Friday), soon after we got on the highway for the 2-hour drive home, he asked me to tell him about seeking God. I asked him to elaborate but he refused. "Just tell me!" he said. So I did. He actually listened and asked relevant questions that showed he was giving this a lot of thought. I really was quite amazed. I think his anger/hatred/bitterness is a huge barrier in our marriage so it's awesome that he's actually willing to see that he has a problem and is interested in making the needed changes. It's truly an answer to prayer even though I realize it could be several years before the change in this area of his life is significant enough to make a difference in our relationship.
There's more to share but ds4 has logged off for now and I need to get to bed. I'm very, very tired. It's been a long day.
Hugs to you all. It's good to be back.
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