How can I make a marriage work and hubby not a christian? (Full Version)

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angel4eva -> How can I make a marriage work and hubby not a christian? (5/11/2008 5:36:59 AM)

Hi everyone I been married to my husband for now 2 years.[sm=icon_smile.gif] He a great and caring husband. I'm born again christian and he not!

I love him so much and don't want to leave him. He really negative towards God and church. I'm want to know how to make this marriage work if I'm a Christian and he not.

Does anyone have tips?



Konstantinos -> RE: How can I make a marriage work and hubby not a christian? (5/11/2008 6:59:30 AM)

my whole family isnt a christian. my brother is too busy playing world of warcraft and is nowhere as mature as i was his age, my mom just wants to feel secure about.. her insecurities so she believes in a "god" that does just that, and my dad thinks he knows everything(he was even sure that the bible says do not kill instead of do not murder even when i told him otherwise and told him to look it up, nope he was certain).

honestly if you married him and you were a christian back then too then you chose this, so you'll just have to endure situations when it comes to talking about God. but he is like you said a great and caring husband, so he may be open to you talking to him about Jesus and will probably notice it when you are being a good example and such.

just dont push him too much. it may work but with most people it never does...



csl7037 -> RE: How can I make a marriage work and hubby not a christian? (5/11/2008 7:32:44 AM)

My mother was married to a nonbeliever most of her life and my parents were very happy. My best advice is to focus on being the wife and godly woman that He has called you to be, be thankful and appreciative that he is a good husband, and let God worry about the rest. Frankly, if you know how he feels (now), there should be little if any discussion of the things of God. The very last thing you can do is to be seen as nagging or judgemental. Is it going to be a little sad for you that he doesn't share in these things? Sure, it is. But, as Konstantinos said, you were either not saved yourself two years ago or you knew what you we getting yourself into so here we are. No use dwelling on that now. Take him, love him, for what he is and believe God for what he will be - which may take 25+ years to see like it did for my mom. But those can be very good years if you keep your trust in the Lord and worry more about what kind of wife you are than what kind of husband he's being. (That's something every wife needs to do.) God will honor your faithfulness. Your life verse should be....

1 Peter3: 1 Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, 2 when they see the purity and reverence of your lives. 3 Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. 4 Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight. 5 For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to make themselves beautiful. They were submissive to their own husbands, 6 like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her master. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear.



angel4eva -> RE: How can I make a marriage work and hubby not a christian? (5/11/2008 9:44:18 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: csl7037

My mother was married to a nonbeliever most of her life and my parents were very happy. My best advice is to focus on being the wife and godly woman that He has called you to be, be thankful and appreciative that he is a good husband, and let God worry about the rest. Frankly, if you know how he feels (now), there should be little if any discussion of the things of God. The very last thing you can do is to be seen as nagging or judgemental. Is it going to be a little sad for you that he doesn't share in these things? Sure, it is. But, as Konstantinos said, you were either not saved yourself two years ago or you knew what you we getting yourself into so here we are. No use dwelling on that now. Take him, love him, for what he is and believe God for what he will be - which may take 25+ years to see like it did for my mom. But those can be very good years if you keep your trust in the Lord and worry more about what kind of wife you are than what kind of husband he's being. (That's something every wife needs to do.) God will honor your faithfulness. Your life verse should be....

1 Peter3: 1 Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, 2 when they see the purity and reverence of your lives. 3 Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. 4 Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight. 5 For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to make themselves beautiful. They were submissive to their own husbands, 6 like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her master. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear.


I didn't become a born again christian till pretty much today. In a way you can tell hubby interested in God because he saw this post I wrote. I'm going to concentrate on being a good godly christian.

I don't really understand the verse that you gave me.



Konstantinos -> RE: How can I make a marriage work and hubby not a christian? (5/11/2008 9:48:20 AM)

quote:

I'm going to concentrate on being a good godly christian.


that was the point of the verse.

so you actually understood it haha [;)]

if you are a new christian then make sure you dont get influenced by others about it. church is good and everything if you can find a good one but some can give you the wrong ideas about things that seem right but arent. put more plainly, focus on God and do what you said, become a good godly christian



angel4eva -> RE: How can I make a marriage work and hubby not a christian? (5/11/2008 9:52:50 AM)

I don't know any good christians unfortunetly. So I basically be doing what Lord wants me to.

I'm going to hand my marriage and my husband to Lord and let him do most of the work.



creationtalk -> RE: How can I make a marriage work and hubby not a christian? (5/11/2008 10:42:44 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: angel4eva

I don't know any good christians unfortunetly. So I basically be doing what Lord wants me to.

I'm going to hand my marriage and my husband to Lord and let him do most of the work.


Then you've got the most important part (sorry you don't know any good Christians...that is unfortunate)

OK...You've already stated that your husband is a good man and you love him and are happy. Make sure that he knows that. Praise him for his good qualities. Pray that God will help you be a good example of him for your husband. DON'T preach to your husband. That is the gist of the verse crh posted...demonstrate God's love and the fruits of the spirit (love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control -- Gal 5:22), pray for you husband that he will see God in you, and as you demonstrate all of these things, you husband will see them and they will lead to change.

I have never read it, but I've heard good things about the book "The power of a praying wife" not sure the author. You may want to look into it.



csl7037 -> RE: How can I make a marriage work and hubby not a christian? (5/11/2008 12:01:21 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: angel4eva
I don't really understand the verse that you gave me.


Then start there, in 1 Peter 3. The subission thing can be a can of worms for sure; don't let that (or conflicting things you may hear people say about that) bog you down. Focus on growing in your new faith and, as he sees God in you, God will be able to begin to work in him (without you saying anything). That's all that verse is saying - or all you need to worry about for starters.

You need to find a good church. Maybe a new believers class and/or a women's Bible study. Pray for the Lord to bring you a godly woman (in real life) to walk along side you for a while.



angel4eva -> RE: How can I make a marriage work and hubby not a christian? (5/12/2008 8:17:55 PM)

Hi an update which is a good one. Firstly my hubby saw me praying ( he walked on me), he waited to I was finished and he asked me what was I doing and told him I was praying.

I think he starting to be interested and I'm not going to push it on him. I notice when he lost his temper I just stood they and praying to stay calm and which it worked.

Later on he turned around and said why didn't I get fired up? I said God didn't let me.



ksaraah -> RE: How can I make a marriage work and hubby not a christian? (5/13/2008 1:05:51 AM)

I'm married to a man who wasn't a Christian, but became one . . . it's been 13 long years--he's a baby Christian.
I know God is calling me to real faith, to have ready answers and to know His Word and be able to give answers when needed. God has called me deeper--into prayer and knowing Him through all of this.
My darling hubs can be difficult and I find it (still) difficult but . . . I think it's amazing that your husband shows the respect to not talk while you're praying!!! My hubs will walk in on me praying and start talking to me.
Keep praying--somethings going on!!!,
Ksaraah



Malagumhe -> RE: How can I make a marriage work and hubby not a christian? (5/13/2008 3:16:36 AM)

I am a new Christian. I am from a different religion when I got married to a man who is a former Christian. This year I found Jesus in my heart and accept Him as my Lord and personal savior. As a new Christian, there is a feeling that I want to know more about Jesus Christ so I decided to enroll at CLDP on the church which is every Friday (7:30 - 9:30pm) still ongoing. Through this class I've learned what is Salvation, the important of Water Baptism, Know my enemies and how God is very Powerful. But this past 2 weeks my husband is not allowing me to attend that class anymore, he said a lot of negative things about the church that hurt my feelings. he said that he only allow me to go to church every Sunday because that is the only written in the Bible. I cried... he don't want me to go to my neighbor for Bible study and care group. He want me stay only at the house......I am praying that this coming Thursday(Bible Study) and Friday ( CLDP Class) my husband allow me to attend....... Please tell me what will I do if he still not allow me to go? Please also pray that my husband allow me to go in that class.



roxiesgarden -> RE: How can I make a marriage work and hubby not a christian? (5/13/2008 6:51:52 PM)

I'm so glad I have read that script in 1Peter3..thankyou..I guess I may have known it but didn't read the way I should have. My DH is is not a born christian. But, he is a good man. He doesn't mock me he helps me.does that make sense? I believe one day he will be reformed. But, I do live my life as a Christian and he sees that and I actually think he likes it..Maybe through me he can be saved. God is good and works wonders.



Malagumhe -> RE: How can I make a marriage work and hubby not a christian? (5/13/2008 10:25:17 PM)

1 Peter3: 1 Wives, in the same way be submissive to your husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, 2 when they see the purity and reverence of your lives. 3 Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. 4 Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight. 5 For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to make themselves beautiful. They were submissive to their own husbands, 6 like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her master. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear.

Thanks csl7037 for highlighting this verse...... now I understand, If my husband not allow me to go to Christian Living Development Program, I will follow him...... I will look for alternatives that will help me to grow as a Christian like this forum and this site.

Thank you very much!
God Bless You All
Malagu



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