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RE: SAHM Support Part II - 5/14/2008 9:24:26 AM
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lexie
Posts: 2667
Joined: 6/27/2005
From: Toronto
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My husband is too much of a pretty boy to get involved in anything that may cause injury.
Actually, I'm surprised he hasn't hurt himself. He and his brother do home renovations but he's been pretty good so far. Maybe he's too much of a pretty boy when he's doing it and doesn't do any of the hard work 
Dh had a talk last night, and I must say I'm proud of him. One of his brothers and his wife are working way too much and they spend very little time with their kids, and the kids are suffering greatly from it. They say they have to work (two jobs each) because they don't have any money, but they seriously waste their money, it is absolutely ridiculous.
I've mentioned it in the past to Dh and he has agreed but never said anything to them about it. Dh is a very quiet, keeps to himself guy and never get involved in anyone's business.
But last night Dh said he is prepared to say something. He's going to try and find a way to talk to his brother about the way I'm running our household (budget, comparison shopping, coupons, meal planning, deals, all the stuff that keeps our spending down) and how much it has saved us, and then he's going to tell his brother that I will help them get their bills down and help them work out a monthly budget.
We know that if they could manage their money properly, then our SIL probably wouldn't have to work outside of the home at all and just keep her home based business. But she is the one that is extremely wasteful. I've tried talking to her before but it goes in one ear and out the other.
It's not that I don't think women shouldn't work outside the home, but I do believe that a woman should do everything she can to not have to work outside of the home, and in this case, I know that they can do it. And it really pains me to see people get so wrapped up in material things, when their children are obviously suffering from a lack of parenting.
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RE: SAHM Support Part II - 5/14/2008 9:35:54 AM
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PrudentWife
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Joined: 1/25/2006
From: The Promised Land
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Lexie, my parents are similar to that. They make about triple what hubby & I do, and have the same sized family. Yet, they are always broke, and never have money for anything. They have to borrow money from us 
I know everyone has different priorities, and that is fine. But I simply cannot understand spending every penny you make and never saving when you have a high income. If you are making min wage, it does take all your money to live.
The worst part is my parents have nothing to show for it. You'd expect that they'd have fine furnishings and luxery items. Nope.
I also don't understand how my mom grocery shops. If you look in her cupboards, you'll find she cooks similar to how I cook...From scratch, next to no boxes and mixes in her house. Yet she spends $200/week grocery shopping. I really just don't get it.
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Don't worry that children never listen to you; worry that they are always watching you.
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RE: SAHM Support Part II - 5/14/2008 9:53:27 AM
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isaacsmom
Posts: 1673
Joined: 12/2/2005
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Lexie and Prudent, that is indeed frustrating. We know people like that. We just think, "wow, imagine what we could DO with that money if we were in their position". We don't understand why everyone can't (or won't, rather) maximize their budget. Different priorities, I guess.
Isaac seems to be doing much better. Monday morning he was walking really cattywompus but after his first adjustment he's walking much better. He's still walking on his right foot funny, but he goes back in for another adjustment tomorrow and Friday and that should take care of it. I'm so thankful my mom works for a good chiro. We're also really thankful that he was kicked right on the bone, the hoof mark is just a hair from being on the soft part of his abdomen. God was watching him and that horse!
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RE: SAHM Support Part II - 5/14/2008 10:33:03 AM
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lexie
Posts: 2667
Joined: 6/27/2005
From: Toronto
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In the case of my BIL, they do have stuff to show for it, the problem is....it's stuff. If you make a good amount of money and that's what you want to do, then ok.
But you can't show me the new outfit you bought, or the new dvd player you bought, and then tell me you don't have enough money to buy groceries. Or your children are behind in school because you can't afford a tutor for them (or you can't be home after school to help them with their homework because you have to work.)
I'm not trying to be high and mighty but these people are elders in our church. And they are constantly working and spending, but not taking care of their children. One of their sons has no motivation to do anything. I suggested putting him in a basketball league because he likes ball. The response? "We can't afford to because we have to pay for Dd's tutoring." Not to mention, that they cut out tutoring for another son because they couldn't afford it, even though he's been diagnosed with learning disabilities because of an accident.
To me, in this instance, it doesn't come down to different priorities. It comes down to selfishness. I'm glad Dh wants to say something (he wanted to do it this weekend, but that might not happen). If Dh wants to say something you know it's a problem.
Has anyone else gone through something like this? Here is a couple who have been married for 15 years and has 4 kids. And now you have a couple who have been married 2 years and has 1 kid and is trying to give you advice on how to run your household. I'm not saying we are perfect, or have things running perfectly, but it's to the point where we can't hold our tongues anymore. How do we do things so that we don't offend them? (I know we won't offend Dh's brother, in fact I'm sure he will welcome it with open arms but I'm sure his wife will be, because essentially it's a criticism of her and she has always prided herself on being the one with "experience" and knowledge)
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RE: SAHM Support Part II - 5/14/2008 11:04:19 AM
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HisCovenant
Posts: 4744
Joined: 4/12/2005
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No, but that means fewer rats for your dh to handle!
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RE: SAHM Support Part II - 5/14/2008 11:06:55 AM
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Mrs.X
Posts: 2260
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From: Newberg, OR
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LOL, I like your thinking, Zippy! Well, apparently this eaten rat was not eaten all the way. He got stuck in a trap first and died then his friend got stuck in a trap right next to him. Robert found one dead rat and one half eaten rat. LOL!
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RE: SAHM Support Part II - 5/14/2008 11:14:30 AM
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Georgia-Peach
Posts: 1971
Joined: 6/2/2005
From: Georgia on my mind
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Absolutely beautiful!!!
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Chelle
<------- My Heart <3
"Friends are like bras: close to the heart and there for support."
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RE: SAHM Support Part II - 5/14/2008 11:28:08 AM
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Mrs.X
Posts: 2260
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From: Newberg, OR
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LOL, sorry. It was 53 yesterday, but it's going to be 90 tomorrow,,,,,weird weather!
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RE: SAHM Support Part II - 5/14/2008 11:50:56 AM
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HisCovenant
Posts: 4744
Joined: 4/12/2005
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Isolated thunder storms! It's coming your way, Chelle, Miss "Absolutely Beautiful"!
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-HisCovenant/ Zipporah
My friends call me Zippy!
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RE: SAHM Support Part II - 5/14/2008 11:58:22 AM
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peculiar_lady2
Posts: 11987
Joined: 2/11/2007
From: Between Hither and Yon
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I'm in the "absolutely beautiful" crowd too. It was supposed to storm all around us last night, but we were on the very edge of it and didn't get anything from it.
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"Some [babies] are just so inexplicably persnickety and unpleasing that it's easy to imagine that they were not actually floating in amniotic fluid but in pickle juice!" -Maggie (3cappuccinosmom)
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RE: SAHM Support Part II - 5/14/2008 12:02:21 PM
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Karaboo2
Posts: 1310
Joined: 2/4/2008
From: Ontario, Canada
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Weather?? Dull, damp, dreary, dreadful ...
Far from this delightful stuff I'm hearing from y'all ... and it's supposed to last the entire long weekend!!! (This is our holiday weekend in Canada) ... so camping is out, and repainting the basement is in. :(
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Kara
"I am not here. I am lost. I have gone to find myself. If I should get back before I return, please ask me to wait!"
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RE: SAHM Support Part II - 5/14/2008 12:06:40 PM
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HisCovenant
Posts: 4744
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That sounds wonderful, Erin!
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-HisCovenant/ Zipporah
My friends call me Zippy!
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RE: SAHM Support Part II - 5/14/2008 12:59:06 PM
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3cappuccinosmom
Posts: 2834
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lexie--I know what you mean. I have an uncle (several, actually) like that. Even with four kids, they have always had a double income, but were deeply, deeply in debt, and then my uncle got cancer. So more debt. My parents helped them out but when we saw them last they were talking about all the new things their kids need, and how they joined that big furniture outlet so they can get new furniture for "huge savings". My mom's siblings are jealous of her "easy" life, but won't do any of the things she and dad have done. The one uncle even refused free tickets and a cash gift my parents offered them to go see Dave Ramsey live. 
My hoped-for walk was sunk today. The park was being mowed, and my boys freaked out. We were going to walk the loop road that's near by, and then my stroller broke!  So we just went and hung around at the library.
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"Children are durable and don’t necessarily wilt under adversity, just as our children don’t necessarily thrive under luxury and comfort." Garrison Keillor
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RE: SAHM Support Part II - 5/14/2008 1:27:05 PM
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isaacsmom
Posts: 1673
Joined: 12/2/2005
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Bummer, Maggie! Can the stroller be fixed?
It's cloudy here today, but warm enough. I'm catching up on everything today, hubby just had his 5 days off and the house and other things really suffered. I just don't get much done when he's off work. Today is full of laundry, dishes, sweeping floors, grocery shopping, preparing for Bible study tonight, cooking dinner to take to hubby at church, paying bills, etc.
My laptop is supposed to arrive via UPS tomorrow! 
_____________________________
<<< Pretty wildflowers my hubby picked for me
*~*~*Rachel*~*~*
My Space
pirtlefarm.blogspot.com
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RE: SAHM Support Part II - 5/14/2008 1:27:22 PM
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Georgia-Peach
Posts: 1971
Joined: 6/2/2005
From: Georgia on my mind
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quote:
It's coming your way, Chelle, Miss "Absolutely Beautiful"!
_____________________________
Chelle
<------- My Heart <3
"Friends are like bras: close to the heart and there for support."
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RE: SAHM Support Part II - 5/14/2008 2:57:55 PM
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lexie
Posts: 2667
Joined: 6/27/2005
From: Toronto
Status: offline
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The weather here is ok....at least it's not raining. It's supposed to rain Saturday, and be cloudy for the rest of the weekend. Disappointing for the holiday weekend, especially considering Friday is a PA Day and Dh doesn't have to work.
We're going to have 3 of our teenage nephews stay with us for the holiday weekend. We must be crazy. One nice thing - I have a beautiful view of the city, so I'll be able to see fireworks from everywhere.
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