RE: ~ The Journey ~

RE: ~ The Journey ~ (Full Version)

All Forums >> [General] >> Blog Towne

Message

AlwaysR8chel -> RE: ~ The Journey ~ (4/10/2006 9:01:02 AM)
What would love do? I’m so sad and so tired. … dealing with consequences of bad choices from my previous life. She is feeling put off, abandoned, unsure, unloved…. and for once, I need to not think about how I feel wronged. This is about her. She is striking out… and I am adult enough to know that whatever is spewing out of her mouth is not the real issue. She wants so badly to love and trust her father…. my heart cringes as I write that word. He is a father- only in name. For all other purposes, he is an acquaintance who does not hesitate to use her as an ally against me. What would LOVE do? Grace… compassion… mercy…. … avoiding the sidetracking temptations of contention, anger and self-centeredness. “And so, as those who have been chosen of God, holy and beloved, put on a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience; bearing with one another, and forgiving each other, whoever has a complaint against anyone; just as the Lord forgave you, so also should you. And beyond all these things put on love, which is the perfect bond of unity.” Colossians 3:12-14 She went on a bike ride. When she comes home, I will give her a big hug and tell her that I missed her. I will make sure that she knows I love her… and that the words last night were not really about being right and wrong or being winners and losers… We are a family… and sometimes nothing else matters. Love always, Rachel

AlwaysR8chel -> RE: ~ The Journey ~ (4/14/2006 9:51:41 AM)
Life Stopped... Matthew 20 [29] As they were leaving Jericho, a large crowd followed Him. [30] And two blind men sitting by the road, hearing that Jesus was passing by, cried out, "Lord, have mercy on us, Son of David!" [31] The crowd sternly told them to be quiet, but they cried out all the more, "Lord, Son of David, have mercy on us!" [32] And Jesus stopped and called them, and said, "What do you want Me to do for you?" [33] They *said to Him, "Lord, we want our eyes to be opened." [34] Moved with compassion, Jesus touched their eyes; and immediately they regained their sight and followed Him. Jesus had an agenda. He was on his way to fulfill a series of events which would ultimately lead to his death. I can imagine that he was very focused during the last few days- even hours, before the end of his life here on earth. Jesus was leaving Jericho and on his way to Jerusalem when he met the blind men. Jesus was on a mission- He had things to do, places to go and people to see. He chose to reach out to others in the midst of all of this. He did more than reach out, He stopped and took time out to listen to the needs of the men. He sincerely cared about them…. He was moved from His inner most being. All life events stopped when He stopped on that dusty roadside to listen. “What do you want me to do for you?” He asked. … and He is still asking you that same question today. Love always, Rachel

AlwaysR8chel -> RE: ~ The Journey ~ (4/17/2006 10:09:04 AM)
Inside Out Romans 2 [29] But he is a Jew who is one inwardly; and circumcision is that which is of the heart, by the Spirit, not by the letter; and his praise is not from men, but from God. Ask yourself these questions: How often do I find myself looking for praise from men? How often do I find myself teaching others about Truth, while in secret I am doing the opposite? How often do I read or study my Bible while hanging onto the evil whispers... and not embracing the Truth? These questions are brutal... but must be asked. Walking with Christ is more than an outward appearance. A true God-seeker must be seeking Him with his entire being... from the inside out. .... because if you are a God-seeker from the outside in- you just might be missing the mark. Love always, Rachel

AlwaysR8chel -> RE: ~ The Journey ~ (4/23/2006 6:06:53 PM)
Missing Out… Usually my Sweet will come and get us for church. I love going to church together and now it seems to be a normal part of our lives. Usually, after church, my Sweet will drop us off and we will part ways- sometimes for the rest of the day, sometimes only for a few hours. Usually when he pulls into our drive, we girls spill out of his car and good-byes are said. He drives away. Today was different. Today the girls spilled out of his car… I lingered picking up a pile of books at my feet. I was awkwardly trying to balance them all on top of my Bible while trying not to forget my purse and cell phone. When I looked up at him, he was holding out His hands… a silent gesture offering to carry some of my load. It is usually in my character to refuse help and to try to juggle the awkward load all by myself. Today- I handed him the load of books. He walked me to my front door with his arm snuggly around my waist… this was new. He left me on my doorstep with a kiss to remember for the rest of the day… this was new, too. Sometimes I wonder what blessings we are missing out on from the Lord. What desires does He have for us? Are we cheating ourselves out of something special because we are unwilling to yield some of our burdens to Him? Matthew 11 [28] "Come to Me, all who are weary and heavy-laden, and I will give you rest. [29] "Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and YOU WILL FIND REST FOR YOUR SOULS. [30] "For My yoke is easy and My burden is light." . . . . . I am blessed…. Love always, Rachel

AlwaysR8chel -> RE: ~ The Journey ~ (4/27/2006 9:57:58 AM)
Thoughts on Love... Yesterday, a friend told me that I was a good role model of what a loving person looks like… I’m not sure how I feel about this. Random thoughts led me to think about… … loving with reckless abandon. Does my love look like how He loves us? Always caring… Always compassionate… Always available… Always willing… Always waiting… Always knowing and understanding… Always warm… Always smiling- sometimes through tears… Always with us… Always able to look past the garbage at our feet… Always wanting the best for us… . . . . I’m not really sure that I measure up to His love. I am sure that I give love the best that I am and all I hope to be… I am sure that I’ve risked it all- even thoughts of self-preservation in order to break down my walls so that I will be able to receive love.… I am sure that my love is not and cannot be contained by any human being… I am sure that my love makes me vulnerable to severe pain and heartache… I am sure that my love lingers after I’ve gone… … I will always wonder if my love is enough. Always, Rachel

AlwaysR8chel -> RE: ~ The Journey ~ (5/1/2006 8:53:38 AM)
I THINK… I live much of my life in my head. I often think to myself that I think too much. I internalize everything- random smiles from strangers on the street, my daughter’s black lab, the way people clap, why he said what he said, what led her to think that….. I think that thinking for me may possibly be a curse… … and then, why is it that when it comes to the Lord… and reading His word, that my internalization techniques seem to stop? On Saturday, I found myself doing a strange thing, at a strange time of the day- acting out of complete character for myself. For some reason, I let anxiety take control of me… and the evil one was having a hay day. Thankfully, I found myself on the phone with a friend… and he was able to talk some sense into me. During the 2 hour conversation, he said this… “I’ve been reading your stuff [devotionals], and it seems that maybe you should pay attention to what you write.” OUCH!!! … but yes, he was right. I need more of Jesus… and I hope that I always will… but its more than just needing more of Him… it’s accepting Him, allowing Him to really LIVE inside of me… it’s remembering to RUN to him when my thoughts start to freak me out and knowing how to keeping my physical feet planted on the ground… it’s allowing His thoughts to permeate my thoughts… It’s INTERNALIZING Him…. Saturday would have been a good day to dwell on Psalms 94: [11] The LORD knows the thoughts of man, That they are a mere breath. [14] For the LORD will not abandon His people, Nor will He forsake His inheritance. [18] If I should say, "My foot has slipped," Your lovingkindness, O LORD, will hold me up. [19] When my anxious thoughts multiply within me, Your consolations delight my soul. [22] But the LORD has been my stronghold, And my God the rock of my refuge. I THINK…. Today is a good day to dwell on Psalms 94… Love Always, Rachel Proverbs 3 [3] Do not let kindness and truth leave you; Bind them around your neck, Write them on the tablet of your heart.

AlwaysR8chel -> RE: ~ The Journey ~ (5/5/2006 8:05:23 AM)
Valleys & Roots… When we hit rough patches in life… it seems so easy to get caught up in the “Wretched man that I am!” mentality. (Romans 7:24) I’ve been walking through the valley these last couple of weeks. It’s not a fun journey… I am dry and thirsty… I am weak and tired… Why? Why the valleys Lord? So your roots will grow… He said. I don’t really have a green thumb… and I usually end up killing my plants after a year or two. One thing I’ve noticed. If I water them constantly, they grow… but their root systems don’t develop very strongly, and they die off more easily. I can imagine that it is the same for our walk as Christians. I think that it is easy to get caught up in the plentiful watering and forget where we’re coming from. We start looking beautiful on the outside, but soon, we forget to keep working on the issues on the inside. We find that we are not growing in Christ anymore and we are not really as rooted in Christ as we once thought we were. So, if it must be – it must be. I’m still walking through that valley, but my outlook is a little different now… Purge me Lord, help me to grow in You… help me to draw on Your strength because mine is not enough. Thank You, Lord, for loving me more than enough. Thank You for the promises that are waiting for me at the end…. Love always, Rachel Psalms 107 [33] He changes rivers into a wilderness And springs of water into a thirsty ground; [34] A fruitful land into a salt waste, Because of the wickedness of those who dwell in it. [35] He changes a wilderness into a pool of water And a dry land into springs of water; [36] And there He makes the hungry to dwell, So that they may establish an inhabited city, [37] And sow fields and plant vineyards, And gather a fruitful harvest.

AlwaysR8chel -> RE: ~ The Journey ~ (5/15/2006 8:39:55 AM)
A New Song… Right now, I am working through a broken engagement…. which seems to me like I’m dragging around a big bucket of slush. The bucket includes sorrow, anger, loss of trust, loss of friendship, grief, broken promises, confusion… the list goes on. … I am doing my best to live through this, although often it seems that my best is only hurtful to others. I feel as if I am stumbling through and the slush is splashing everywhere. As painful as this all is, I am deeply encouraged. I know that God is working in him… and God is working in me… we are not the same people we were even a month ago… and I cling to the hope that we are each walking forward in Christ- even if our paths have separated. For me, now is a time of grief… although grieving is difficult. It’s not like he died and there is finality to the relationship. He is very much alive and well, he still lives only 5 miles away and I know that it would only take a few keystrokes on my laptop to find him on the Internet. … and to compound the situation, my children are grieving also. The point of this rambling is to say that I KNOW in my heart and soul and spirit that there will be a new day of joy for the girls and me. I KNOW that this is only a season in our lives… and that we will once again start feeling like ourselves. God still has the girls and me… I think even closer than ever before. He is taking care of us in ways that I never would have imagined. I am so thankful for His grace… and we are looking forward to that day when the bucket is dumped out and replaced with a new song in our hearts.… Love always, Rachel ~ * ~ Psalms 40 [1] For the choir director. A Psalm of David. I waited patiently for the LORD; And He inclined to me and heard my cry. [2] He brought me up out of the pit of destruction, out of the miry clay, And He set my feet upon a rock making my footsteps firm. [3] He put a new song in my mouth, a song of praise to our God; Many will see and fear And will trust in the LORD. [4] How blessed is the man who has made the LORD his trust, And has not turned to the proud, nor to those who lapse into falsehood. [5] Many, O LORD my God, are the wonders which You have done, And Your thoughts toward us; There is none to compare with You. If I would declare and speak of them, They would be too numerous to count. [6] Sacrifice and meal offering You have not desired; My ears You have opened; Burnt offering and sin offering You have not required. [7] Then I said, "Behold, I come; In the scroll of the book it is written of me. [8] I delight to do Your will, O my God; Your Law is within my heart." [9] I have proclaimed glad tidings of righteousness in the great congregation; Behold, I will not restrain my lips, O LORD, You know. [10] I have not hidden Your righteousness within my heart; I have spoken of Your faithfulness and Your salvation; I have not concealed Your lovingkindness and Your truth from the great congregation. [11] You, O LORD, will not withhold Your compassion from me; Your lovingkindness and Your truth will continually preserve me. A special thanks to my friend, Mike, for stepping out in faith and sharing this word with me…

AlwaysR8chel -> RE: ~ The Journey ~ (5/23/2006 8:59:43 AM)
He loves.... The air was brisk. The frost lay strong on the blades of grass. The sky was dark. The birds were quiet. The stars sparkled as if it was their first night out. The moon was a deep sliver. As I walked, I couldn’t help but think “If God loves me sooo much… if He can’t wait to live with me in heaven… what keeps Him from scooping me up from this earth right now?” …. and in my heart, I knew the answer. He not only loves and cherishes me… but everyone else on this earth, too. I think He is waiting- waiting for more work to be done… because He wants as many people to enjoy heaven as possible. This is an amazing thing… because God doesn’t force anything on us. He offers Life to us, and waits for us to accept it. It’s our choice. … and He waits for us with excited anticipation. "Just as the Father has loved Me, I have also loved you; abide in My love.” ~ Jesus (John 15:9) Love always, Rachel

AlwaysR8chel -> RE: ~ The Journey ~ (5/31/2006 8:43:13 AM)
Moving On... A very good Crosswalk Internet friend called me on my cell yesterday just to give me these verses... I needed to hear her calm and steady voice… I had just finished crying buckets of tears brought on by an email. Psalms 71 NASB [20] You who have shown me many troubles and distresses Will revive me again, And will bring me up again from the depths of the earth. [21] May You increase my greatness And turn to comfort me. I have been pondering these verses ever since... Why would God deliberately show me troubles and distresses? … that is the question which plays in my head. Here it is in The Message: Psalms 71 MSG [20] You, who made me stare trouble in the face, Turn me around; Now let me look life in the face. I've been to the bottom; Bring me up, [21] streaming with honors; turn to me, be tender to me, Another thought… …. staring trouble in the face, helps you to recognize true and real life and the goodness it has to offer. It’s a reality check. Here’s the Contemporary English Version: Psalms 71 CEV [20] You made me suffer a lot, but you will bring me back from this deep pit and give me new life. [21] You will make me truly great and take my sorrow away. … troubles and trials make us great. They empower us. They make us strong in the Lord. The pain that we experience during these trials will not last forever. Here’s the New Living Translation: Psalms 71 NLT [20] You have allowed me to suffer much hardship, but you will restore me to life again and lift me up from the depths of the earth. [21] You will restore me to even greater honor and comfort me once again. … “lift me up from the depths of the earth.” This seems to me that God really does allow us to fall to places where we FEEL like we are stuck. … “you will restore me to life again.” Sometimes we feel as if we are dead or dying…. … “and lift me up.” We are not stuck and we are definitely not dying… God has every minute of our lives under control when we yield our lives to him. The events of yesterday morning needed to happen… What was written to provoke and hurt me was used to make me stronger. I am not stuck – I am moving on… and I am stronger. I am loved… I am beautiful and worthy to be cherished. Love always, Rachel

AlwaysR8chel -> RE: ~ The Journey ~ (6/11/2006 7:20:14 PM)
All is Well… Life is so crazy for me lately. This is old news. … and yet, I spend much of my time wondering how it could’ve been different. What if I would have acted differently? What if I would have overlooked the issues that bothered me? What if I would have tried harder to be exactly what he wanted? I can’t hang onto these thoughts… not for one moment. If I would have done anything differently, than I wouldn’t have been ME. Ironically~ the same goes for him. Funny how being true to yourself can sometimes create an impasse with someone you dearly love. One thing that I know for sure in relationships~ there can be no ‘US’ if we lose the individuality that we each have in ourselves. There are so many positive life changes that have been made possible through this break-up. There is a thread in the singles folder… it asks “What is God saying to you today?” I’ve been hesitant to post what God is saying to me there. Those guys would think that I’m nuts. God is telling me that I am beautiful… and He’s been revealing my beauty a small portion at a time. My relationship with God has changed since He’s been doing this for me. I no longer feel like I am praying to air at times… or that He is far from me. I know without a doubt He is listening to every word I say. He can feel every microcosm of pain in each tear drop… and He’s smiling as I speak to Him. My heart is joyfully smiling as He converses with me. I am no longer afraid of how my life will turn out… all I have to do is be here. He gets to do the hard work… all I have to do is love Him and do my best for Him (even when sometimes my best is nothing.)He gets to iron out all the details and that is more than enough security for me. There is a song that says: You give and take away… You give and take away… My heart will choose to say… Blessed be Your Name… I never understood this before… I never could understand why God would take something precious from someone He loved…. Today I understand… as bittersweet as it may be. He is doing a good work in me… something that might have taken twice as long to complete if I would have stayed in that relationship. All is well…. Love always, Rachel Philippians 1 NASB [6] For I am confident of this very thing, that He who began a good work in you will perfect it until the day of Christ Jesus.

AlwaysR8chel -> RE: ~ The Journey ~ (6/18/2006 5:43:57 PM)
Honor from Pain… How far would you go to follow Christ? Would you obey God at all costs? These are very tough questions, indeed. I have a friend who is totally sold out on Christ. He is a prayer warrior to the 10th degree if not more. It is not uncommon to find out that he was in deep intercessory prayer at 2am. He lost a precious relationship because he is determined to follow Christ- no matter what the cost. Why does he put his life on hold to pray for others? Why does he choose prayer over sleep? What’s in it for him? I have other friends. They live in Brazil. They dedicate their lives to serving Christ. They, too, make sacrifices… Right now, they are totally uprooting the comfortable lives they have and leaving family in order to move to Australia to attend school to sharpen the skills they currently use. They make a wonderful team as a married couple. He can preach with power in two languages… she leads worship which can bring your heart to the feet of Jesus. Why are they giving up their comforts? Why are they risking financial hardship? What’s in it for them? Even Jesus experienced pain and loss… What was in it for Him? Hebrews 5 (The Message) [7] While he lived on earth, anticipating death, Jesus cried out in pain and wept in sorrow as he offered up priestly prayers to God. Because he honored God, God answered him. [8] Though he was God's Son, he learned trusting-obedience by what he suffered, just as we do. [9] Then, having arrived at the full stature of his maturity and having been announced by God as high priest in the order of Melchizedek, [10] he became the source of eternal salvation to all who believingly obey him. He learned obedience…. this is not saying that Jesus had no idea what obedience was… but Jesus learned what obedience is like for us…. and this happened through the ultimate sacrifice of his life. Jesus sacrificed His life for us so that we could live with him in heaven. So again I ask… What is in it for us? …the crown of life and the honor of living with Jesus in heaven… forever. I will ask my friends if their sacrifices are worth the pain they’ve endured… but I’m sure I already know the answer… … each one of them will say YES. James 1:12 (NASB) [12] Blessed is a man who perseveres under trial; for once he has been approved, he will receive the crown of life which the Lord has promised to those who love Him. There is honor in pain. How far will you go in order to obey Christ? Love always, Rachel

AlwaysR8chel -> RE: ~ The Journey ~ (7/1/2006 10:17:31 AM)
Starting over… We needed a different model… This one was older… there were several cosmetic things wrong with it… it was battered… and seemingly- it was getting smaller. … there were life memories attached to it. Some were good family memories… chasing hot air balloons across the farmland country side until they landed… many trips to the ‘beach’, which was really a very small lake a few towns over… locally made ice cream dripping on the seats. There were ugly memories, too. Mostly for us… it was the people who shared the experience of this model with us… all the miles we shared with a father who made it a practice to abandon his children, all the miles we shared while we spent a lot of time with a man who made us feel second best… all the miles chasing happiness that couldn’t be found… and for me… many miles spent with another invisible woman in the car. It was time for a new car… or an ‘old new car’ as we say in my family. … it was time for a fresh start in life. It happened this week. After driving miles to find one… after a test drive, phone calls and paperwork- we finally got another model. This one is bigger… roomier… it’s the same year as the other one… but better. Everything about the new model screams ‘new’… everything about the new model says “Let’s start over… but smarter.” My heart felt a painful tug as I drove out of the parking lot leaving that old car there. The empty seats were packed full of memories that no one else would ever know. I was saying goodbye to a past full of mistakes… and shakily embracing a new start. The sun was magnificent as it set over the horizon… it spoke of peace… of God’s strength… but mostly it spoke of an abundance of undeserving grace that was handed to me at no cost. The girls and I are starting over… no man… no ugly memories every time we look into the driveway… just us… and the new car. Love always, Rachel

AlwaysR8chel -> RE: ~ The Journey ~ (7/4/2006 2:45:07 AM)
My Story… I met two new people in the last few weeks and we have spent a significant amount of time on the telephone. Inevitably, conversation rolls around to the past. My past is generously sprinkled over with bad decisions… which resulted in poor living environments… and the end result is a small broken family. It’s not an inviting story to listen to and there are not enough beautiful words in my vocabulary which can embellish the story into attractiveness. My story is ugly. My story is real. … and because of the generous grace of God, my story is now lived with love, hope and peace. I praise my Father for this: Psalms 103 (NASB) [12] As far as the east is from the west, So far has He removed our transgressions from us. What are transgressions? It sounds like a confusing word. I always thought it meant sins- the not so nice stuff we sometimes do. Today, I learned that transgressions are more than sin. Transgressions are a revolt or rebellion- this sounds continual to me. Well practiced. … I admire God’s patience. I walked away and ignored him for years. How could his heart not break over me and the poor decisions I’ve made? … I admire his faithfulness. He always kept the lines of communication open… making sure I would be able to find my way home when I was ready. I’m sure his heart did break… and yet- he holds nothing of my past against me. Better yet, through forgiveness, he’s forgotten about my past and has blessed me- abundantly. Isaiah 43 (NASB) [25] "I, even I, am the one who wipes out your transgressions for My own sake, And I will not remember your sins. God loves us… more than we will ever know. Psalms 103 (NASB) [17] But the lovingkindness of the LORD is from everlasting to everlasting on those who fear Him, And His righteousness to children's children, [18] To those who keep His covenant And remember His precepts to do them. Love always, Rachel

AlwaysR8chel -> RE: ~ The Journey ~ (7/7/2006 9:24:29 AM)
Driftwood... The wind was strong and full of excitement as the children danced and played in the salty water. The waves were plentiful… and the sun was warm. The lighthouse was cool… and we were heading back to our resting spot… Something caught my eye as it rolled in the waves… it was a small piece of drift wood… smoothed from its journey- yet defined. The underside is smooth… there is a crack which runs lengthwise… you can’t see the damage from the top of the piece of wood. If you look at it from the topside- you can see where the salty and rough waves battered the piece of wood until its true beauty showed. Each dark ring, which defines its age, is clearly visible… beautifully visible. This small piece of wood reminds me… of me. I was battered… I was tossed around an endless ocean for what seemed a lifetime… it was painful… it hurt… I cracked. … and now that I’ve been rescued from that ocean… I am starting to see the beauty that emanates from me. My character is on its way to being defined just as each ring on the wood is defined. My edges are smoothed over… the original me is lost… only for the purpose of revealing the true me- who I am in Christ. This piece of drift wood also reminds me of some very close and cherished friends… they, too, have been battered by this ocean called life. Some of them have not been rescued yet… … and then I wonder. If they are rescued prematurely… just think how much longer it will take for their beauty to be revealed. Yes… it hurts to see them tossed around by angry waves… but- I joy at the fact that God is working in their lives. Sometimes I don’t pray for deliverance for my friends… sometimes, I pray for a calm and rest, until the next wave hits. Love always, Rachel

AlwaysR8chel -> RE: ~ The Journey ~ (7/24/2006 9:52:49 AM)
Lost… Psalms 119:176 NASB [176] I have gone astray like a lost sheep; seek Your servant, For I do not forget Your commandments. I recently met a man. I showed him my blog on Crosswalk.com and I explained how I am required to post at least every nine days to keep my blog active. I was feeling a little pride at the amount of time and effort I put into writing for my blog. Later, we met again and he said, “I’ve noticed that you haven’t posted since July 7th….” I looked away, knowing that it was July 21st- and I was overdue for an entry. “Yeah, I know… I’m feeling a little lost” I said. How did I get lost? How long will I choose to remain lost? How do I find my way back Home? I can’t speak for others… but for me- getting lost starts with taking on pride. Pride seems to creep in when my life seems to be going well. The job is good, the kids are well and my relationships with others are happy and cheery… and then one day I realize that I’m ‘talking myself up’- meaning, I’m talking the talk but not walking the walk. I’m taking credit for the good in my life when I should be acknowledging the true source of goodness. Jesus is still there… but somehow, He got pushed to the background of my life… Sound familiar? Getting lost is ultimately a choice. It’s a choice not to listen to God’s voice. It’s a choice not to obey what He asks of me. It’s a choice to allow myself to be distracted by life. I will remain lost until I go to Him and tell Him that I’m sorry for not listening and obeying. I will remain lost until I ask for His forgiveness and truly begin to make good and sincere decisions in order to get back on the right track. I will remain lost until I can embrace and accept the abundant grace He freely gives to me. … and now I’m almost Home. How do I get there from here? He will find me. Luke 19:10 NASB [10] "For the Son of Man has come to seek and to save that which was lost." Love always, Rachel

AlwaysR8chel -> RE: ~ The Journey ~ (8/3/2006 9:29:39 AM)
Mingling… Nehemiah chapter 8 reminds me of… me and the work I absolutely love to do for the Lord. Imagine this- the town square filled with people- but they are not your normal crowd bustling through and making themselves busy. They are gathered to hear some good news. The book was opened, the Lord was blessed and the people worshipped God and shouted Amen! Ezra read the Law of Moses in the town square for hours. The people were attentive- hanging on every word that spilled from Ezra’s mouth. Ezra had helpers that mingled in the crowd… they translated the tough parts for the people so that everyone would be able to understand the law. The helpers went to the people… This is the part that reminds me of my true love… I love to write. I love to read the word and repeat it so that everyone can understand it. I love to mingle with the people and encourage them through God’s word.… I delight in God’s word and I am thankful that the Lord uses me to encourage others as they travel through this journey called life. I’m praising God today… ;o) Love always, Rachel Nehemiah 8 MSG [12] So the people went off to feast, eating and drinking and including the poor in a great celebration. Now they got it; they understood the reading that had been given to them.

AlwaysR8chel -> RE: ~ The Journey ~ (8/8/2006 10:01:20 AM)
Square One James 1 NASB [2] Consider it all joy, my brethren, when you encounter various trials, [3] knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. [4] And let endurance have its perfect result, so that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing. I was reflecting yesterday on my break-up earlier this spring. After the break up, I remember being so torn and utterly heart broken. I wanted resolve and a healing between us. I reached a point in my life where I wanted what I wanted… not what God had planned for my life. I remember standing in the shower one morning with tears falling and wishing the water would just wash me down the drain. The Lord spoke to me there. He specifically and clearly asked me two questions: Do you love him? Do you love him enough to start back at square one? I was startled. “Yes!” I thought, “I do love him! I will do whatever it takes!” … and my heart looked forward to a restoration in our relationship. What I didn’t realize then, was that I was hoping for selfish wants… and God had a different plan. You see, we were a wonderful couple, but we weren’t the best together. God desires the best for each of us. What was God’s idea of square one? It was letting him go- completely… cutting all ties with him so that we could both move forward in different directions. Yes, there was a level of restoration with him. Forgiveness on both parts was necessary in order to keep bitterness from creeping into our hearts. Now I see him in my mind’s eye as my brother in Christ- nothing more… nothing less. We’ve both moved on… he found his soul mate in another and I am in the process of discovering if I have found mine. In each case, we are better matched and blessed with Christ seeking people who encourage us on our walks with Christ… and I’m sure that each relationship is flowing more smoothly. God knew what he was doing in our lives… … we just needed to go back to square one. James 1 NASB [16] Do not be deceived, my beloved brethren. [17] Every good thing given and every perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shifting shadow. I am completely trusting in the Lord. Love always, Rachel

AlwaysR8chel -> RE: ~ The Journey ~ (8/11/2006 9:49:37 AM)
All is Well… The moon. A quiet reflection of God’s beauty and strength. It hangs in the night sky- a gift for all to see… but it is a gift only for those who choose to let their eyes wander upwards. The gift is in the contemplation of its Maker… I’ve been thankful for this gift the last few mornings. I watched as the moon waxed into an awesome show of fullness- bringing light into the darkness. This morning it is gently waning and soon, the darkness will have its way again. As I gaze upon the moon, I am reminded of God’s splendor and of the plans he has for us. I am reminded of his strength and his awesome knack for handling even the smallest of details in our lives. I am reminded of his complete and absolute love for me… and for you. I have chosen to trust another with my heart… yet, the older I get, the more difficult this becomes. Flashbacks of broken trust tumble through my mind like a fall leaf carried by the wind… tossed to and fro at random. … and as I pray about this new trust, I find that my trust in others must be rooted in my trust for God and his plan for my life. My reflections tell me that others will make choices that may hurt me, but God is my Rock… the Source of my strength… and all is well. All is well… through the pain, through the storms and through the abundant promises of joy. God will not leave me. He will not forsake me... and this is all I need to know. I stand on the promises of God as I choose to give my heart to another… Love always, Rachel 1 Chronicles 28 NASB [20] Then David said to his son Solomon, "Be strong and courageous, and act; do not fear nor be dismayed, for the LORD God, my God, is with you. He will not fail you nor forsake you until all the work for the service of the house of the LORD is finished.

AlwaysR8chel -> RE: ~ The Journey ~ (8/21/2006 9:40:46 AM)
Decisions... Decisions.... Notes from Sunday service: (I went to my SO’s church) The lesson was about learning about what God wants for us. We were also given the tools to learn how to make good decisions. What is God’s will? Spirit filled… Ephesians 5 NASB [17] So then do not be foolish, but understand what the will of the Lord is. [18] And do not get drunk with wine, for that is dissipation, but be filled with the Spirit, Sanctified… 1 Thessalonians 4 NASB [3] For this is the will of God, your sanctification; that is, that you abstain from sexual immorality; Submissive… 1 Peter 2 NASB [13] Submit yourselves for the Lord's sake to every human institution, whether to a king as the one in authority, … Give Thanks. 1 Thessalonians 5 NASB [18] in everything give thanks; for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus. A note on character: God is more concerned with who we are rather than what we do… because who we are eventually spills over into what we do. So, it makes sense to me to be diligent and to continue to work on character issues… the rest will fall into place. Pastor Rick used the story about how Isaac found Rebekah as his model for decision making… I thought it was an excellent model and I also had extra notes about Rebekah… what a cool chic. There needs to be four elements to making Godly decisions… I find it ironic that I really never put all these things together before. I also wish that I would have been more diligent in making better decisions. I will not kick myself now, instead, I will learn from pastor Rick and try to apply these points to my life from here on out. Decisions need to be based on God’s word bathed in prayer bring common sense, wisdom and counsel to bear backed by circumstances. The Bible is our manual to life… we can find anything we need in there. We need to trust God’s word and spend time in the word… reading it and digesting it… living it. Decisions need to be bathed in prayer. We need to be communicating with God about stuff. He really is the One with the answers… but we won’t be able to hear Him unless we are close to Him and communicating with Him. It is always a wonderful idea to include the counsel of others in your decisions. More voices are better than one… I think doing this also needs to be bathed in prayer… because some people will give advice out of their own wants and desires for your life rather than asking God for wisdom in counsel. The signs… yes, God gives us signs. The signs should not be at the top of the list. The signs should be the ‘caboose’, or the tail end of the train. Some people make the mistake of rushing to make decisions because they thought they saw a ‘sign’… when in reality… we need to seek God first… and wait for the circumstances to work themselves out. I have much to think about… lots of stuff to talk about in prayer time with God… I am thankful for Pastor Rick. Love always, Rachel

AlwaysR8chel -> RE: ~ The Journey ~ (8/30/2006 9:31:30 AM)
Less of Me... Yesterday, God challenged me to walk the walk… to live out what I’ve been telling you guys here in my blog. He specifically asked me to let go of bitterness that I had been harboring concerning my ex-fiancé. I did... again... and for real. I keep saying how I trust God… and He was asking me to put some action behind my words. I was very surprised to find tears flowing abundantly. There I was… sitting at my desk… hot tears rolled down my cheeks… I hated crying at work… it was humbling. It felt like a fragile shell around my heart was being chipped away. I was sure I would see pieces on the floor if I dared to look down. It would have been easier to go on ignoring him – and the girl he fell in love with… but God was asking me for more. He was asking me to live in a higher standard. I don’t know how… if… or when God will use this experience for the glory of His name… but I know He’s got the bigger picture in mind. Getting rid of that shell was most excellent for me… I know that God can work more completely with a soft heart. That’s what I truly desire… more of Him… less of me. I trust Him completely. Love always, Rachel ps… God is so faithful. He provided several good friends to help me through my day… I’m thankful He provided them… I’m thankful they chose to be available for me… all is well.

AlwaysR8chel -> RE: ~ The Journey ~ (9/12/2006 9:00:02 AM)
09.11.01 A day when thousands of hearts across the globe cried out to God under duress and unexpected surprises of tragedy… It was a day of tragedy for my family, also. On this day, I was still married to an abusive husband. I was doing my best to make the marriage work. 9.11. Two am. A few hours before the world cried out for God’s mercy… she was wearing her favorite outfit, wearing her best make up and leaving reminder notes around her apartment. She fought the voices of demons whispering in her ear. They won. The cleaning woman found her in the morning… she was in her bath-tub. At first sight, it seemed as if she was sleeping- but a small handgun clattered against the fiberglass tub as the paramedics pulled her out. She was gone. She was my mother-in-law. It’s been five years… it is now time for me to quit mourning her death with bitterness and embrace the lessons that God taught me on that day and the days to follow. My husband was next of kin. It was his job to clean out the apartment of the woman he loathed for a majority of his life. He melted under pressure and conveniently came up with any excuse not to enter the apartment. His aunt was there the first few days… she catalogued all the items and took care of the legal paperwork. I was so thankful for her. The job of packing up and cleaning the apartment was placed on my shoulders. I spent late hours in that apartment… only to be punished when I got home because I was out so late. Each day felt like a month. I did almost all the work… he finally showed up with a truck on the last day to help move her abandoned belongings. In all this, I relied on God’s strength. I went through the motions with tears streaming down my face for hours on end. I was incredibly exhausted at the end of each day… and somehow God gave me the strength to rise each morning and walk through my difficult day. I was able to complete my job daily to my boss’s satisfaction. I was able to pick up all my children at their schools and the daycare center, fix them dinner and find a sitter for them or bathe them and get them ready for bed before I left. My husband wouldn’t be bothered with the work. God shined his grace and mercy upon me. She died. I lived. I learned about a new strength in Christ and most excellent character which God wanted me to have. I learned about forgiveness, love under difficult circumstances and about God’s full provision. I’m sorry she had to leave. I am thankful her death was not in vain… And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose. ~ Romans 8v28 She was a wonderful person. She lived her life as best as she knew how… She gave God all that she could… and I have no doubt what she had to give was more than enough for Him. I'm sure she understands this now. I miss you, Judith. Love always, Rachel Isaiah 54 NASB [10] "For the mountains may be removed and the hills may shake, But My lovingkindness will not be removed from you, And My covenant of peace will not be shaken," Says the LORD who has compassion on you.

AlwaysR8chel -> RE: ~ The Journey ~ (9/13/2006 10:27:14 AM)
This is an entry from my private journal.... September 12, 2006 11.19 pm It’s lightning outside…. the thunderstorms are violent and threatening… … and my heart is full of joy. Tonight – I was exactly where I was supposed to be – doing what God wanted me to be doing… It was not difficult… it did not take major training… all I had to do was be me… for Christ. It was church for Ward 16 in my local county jail. We sat in a classroom… in a circle. Introductions all the way around... Some ladies shared their stories… others just quietly stated their names. Worship songs were sung – we were accompanied by a CD. A testimony was shared. A children’s story book was read... and the message hit home… not only for the ladies struggling with their lives at the moment… but the message hit me in the heart also. God was there… I could feel the Holy Spirit moving… and I smiled. I was in the midst of sharing my Best Friend with others. There were a few minutes for sharing prayer requests and praises and one of the prisoners closed in prayer. Her strong heart for Christ was revealed as she spoke to her Maker loud enough for all to hear… yet gentle enough to know that she cherished Him. We chatted with the ladies afterwards. I wasn’t sure what I should be doing… and then I saw her. She just stood in the center of the busy room looking like a lost child… alone in her pain with no one to help her. I walked up to her and hugged her. Not a superficial hug… but a hug like you would hug your hurting child. I held her and I did not let go. I gently told her of God’s promises… of our journeys… and explained the bigger picture. She took in every word… sobbing in my arms. She needed to hear about Jesus. She needed to feel God’s love through another. What a blessing for me… I was just there… and my heart was saying… “use me Lord.” … and He did. All I had to do was be me, and He handled the rest. Life doesn’t get any better than this…

AlwaysR8chel -> RE: ~ The Journey ~ (9/20/2006 8:08:39 AM)
The Same… We are the same… there is no difference, save for one. They live behind bars. They are women who are God-seekers. They read their Bibles and pray with fervency. They often see answered prayer – for God has no limitations. Location means nothing to Him. Last night I met a woman who wrote a letter to her abuser. She read it to me… it was a wonderful letter. It was well thought out and written… signed so carefully. She was forgiving him and asking for forgiveness from him… an action only made possible because of her faith in Christ and His complete love for her. “Do you know where he lives?” I asked. “No,” she said, “but that part doesn’t matter. If I find him than I will send it… and if I don’t, I will keep it, because God knows and it’s okay.” ...... I went into Ward 10 for the first time last night. It’s a lock-down ward. Lock-down is punishment for fighting or acting out… To the left I saw four or five cells with bars. They are very small with a double bunk and a toilet in each. There is maybe four feet of free space to move around. Across the isle are three more cells. No bars… just heavy metal doors on each one. There is a small window too high for me to see into. All communication happens through the small food shoot. The prisoner must squat down to look through… we must squat down to look them in the eye. It is a humbling experience for all. We found Miss E. in lock down… shut away and forgotten by the world. She was proud to show my trainer and I the Bible study guides she had accumulated. She didn’t have a Bible but was making due with what she had. We prayed with her… “Dear Jesus, if I never meant it before, I mean it now… please come into my heart…” she prayed. The angels partied in heaven as she prayed… the Holy Spirit danced with joy in our hearts as we saw her realize new-found hope. We will make sure she has a Bible this week. …… Women who were lost but now are found… women who are hurting… women who are healing… women who are finding a true hope in Christ… women who are real… … we are the same. Love always, Rachel "In the same way, I tell you, there is joy in the presence of the angels of God over one sinner who repents." ~ Jesus Luke 15:10 NASB

AlwaysR8chel -> RE: ~ The Journey ~ (10/1/2006 7:42:49 PM)
Katie’s Mom… “Hey Rachel, can you come with me for a home visit tonight?” My ministry partner was calling me from his cell phone. The call was odd. We never go out for home visits, we always stick with county jail visits. There was a sense of urgency in his voice so I quickly accepted his invitation. We agreed to meet each other half-way and drive together. A woman was in distress. She called my partner after she finished a bottle of vodka on her own. Her live-in boyfriend got arrested the night before and was in the county jail. The spirits were torturing her. I prayed in the car as I drove to meet my ministry partner half-way. I didn’t want to get mixed up with this woman. I knew her type. I could already tell that she was the kind of person who continually makes poor life decisions. She is the kind of person who is never stable – the kind of person who manipulates others to get what she thinks she needs. She was threatening suicide. “Lord, I don’t know what is happening with this woman.” I prayed earnestly. “I’m already a little frustrated because from what my partner told me, it sounds like manipulation… like she needs attention and only knows how to get it from negative actions.” My emotions were brewing… and I didn’t feel sorry for her. I didn’t feel like encouraging her as I encourage others through Christ. I didn’t have compassion. I knew I was heading out to be with someone who needed Jesus with the wrong attitude. “Forgive me, Lord. Please give me compassion for her” I ended my prayer as my partner’s vehicle came into sight. I jumped into his car. We prayed as we drove… unsure of what was waiting for us. We weren’t sure what we needed to do and I know thoughts of dialing 911 were running through each of our minds. She lived in the projects. The area was located in a part of town where you would never want to walk alone – even during the daylight hours. She lived on the second floor of a five-story building built for low income housing tenants. Her apartment was plain. No carpet. “These are hospital floors,” she told me. She was right – the floors were polished and bare. A mattress on the floor was her bed and blankets were strewn about. All the cabinet doors in the kitchen were open and the few dishes she owned were placed in piles on the floor. “Don’t mind the mess,” she said, “they just sprayed for cockroaches yesterday.” She sat on her bed. My partner and I sat on the floor next to her. We talked… we prayed… she held my hands tightly, as if she were hanging on for dear life. Finally, peace settled into her heart as the Holy Spirit covered her with grace. I was glad to be there. I was thankful to help… and then compassion arrived just as we were ready to leave. “Wait, I wanna show ya somethin’.” She went into the bedroom and brought out a dark red velvet pouch. It was obviously something she treasured. Maybe it’s the one valuable thing she owns, I thought. She pulled a small box out of the pouch. It was white – made of wood. I thought for sure she would show me a small treasure such as a small porcelain doll or a valuable knick knack. Gently opening the box, she pulled out a plastic bag… and my heart dropped. It was a small clear bag filled with ashes. Earlier, she told me the story of a miscarriage she had this July. Her baby died in her womb three days before the delivery date. The doctors induced labor and she gave birth to an innocent body… void of a gentle spirit. She handed me the bag of ashes… she was introducing me to Katie, her baby. “I didn’t have any money to bury her,” she said, “so I keep her close to me.” It was the most bittersweet precious moment I’ve ever experience in my life. She was sharing the most precious and the most painful part of her life with me. I was holding Katie’s remains in my hands, and I didn’t know what to say. “I’m sorry,” I said. I couldn’t even guess at the pain she was feeling. For a split second, I tried to imagine how I’d feel if I was holding one of my children in a small plastic bag… I was speechless. All I could do was hug her… all I could do was to hug Katie’s mommy. … and that was what she needed. To be heard, to be loved and to know that someone else could feel her pain. Katie’s mom is better today. She is still confused about life… still confused about healthy relationships and she has a long way to go. … but most importantly. Katie’s mom knows that Jesus loves her… because my ministry partner and I were available to her in her darkest hour. My girls came bounding out of the house with smiles on their faces as I pulled into my driveway. I looked at them and thought about that small bag of ashes which rested in my hands only twenty minutes before. I thought about the life Katie never lived. I thought about the continual pain Katie’s mom endures every day… and I thanked God for the compassion that He placed in my heart. Love always, Rachel Psalms 111 KJV (3) His work is honourable and glorious: and his righteousness endureth for ever. (4) He hath made his wonderful works to be remembered: the LORD is gracious and full of compassion.

Page: << < prev 2 3 [4] 5 6 next > >>

Forum Software © ASPPlayground.NET Advanced Edition 2.5 ANSI