RE: how to be friends with atheists

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luvmysavior -> RE: how to be friends with atheists (5/19/2008 8:49:34 PM)
One other thing about the kids playing in isolation--our house is one level, and the kids basically would go in my son's room, get toys, and run all over the house with them, including in the kitchen where my friend and I were talking. It's not like they were upstairs in a bedroom with the door shut. To be with them every second would be a little ridiculous, because it would mean frantically chasing them from room to room all over our house for two hours. They were maybe within 20 square feet of us at all times.

manda59 -> RE: how to be friends with atheists (5/19/2008 8:52:50 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: luvmysavior You're right about our latest interactions. We're busy during the school year--so it's easy to go a while without seeing each other. She has not noticed any change or said anything--in fact, she's not the best person about following through on plans, or going a long time without calling me, etc. But our friendship has been like that for years--just one of those friendships where you don't talk often, but you can always pick right up where you left off, kwim? But summer's coming up, so there may be more opportunities to try to get together, and then it may be something I need to explain. There's only two ways I could think of you possibly saying something without offence being likely to be caused, along the lines of: 1. To say to your friend that you're been concerned about either child influencing or pressurising the other regarding their faith or lack of it, and thought it might be best if they didn't see so much of each other or (even more skirting the issue, which I personally think is totally fine) 2. To say that the age difference between your two children is becoming more apparent, especially with her daughter rapidly approaching puberty, that you think that the two children have increasingly less in common, and would probably be more comfortable with friends their own age rather than having to hang out together. Let me know what you think of those! [:)]

VisitorinWaiting -> RE: how to be friends with atheists (5/19/2008 9:15:18 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: buckifn labeling a person "bad" is one thing Jesus does not do. Not to mention the fact that Jesus was NOT more capable of handling evil than we are...HE is the one who said "GREATER works than these shall YOU do" when talking of himself. ALL POWER is given to us by the Father. I would not teach my child anything less. Your attitude is teaching your children a lot of things, but I'm not sure it is about the love of Jesus, are you? Wow! You bite hard when you bite, don't you? You have no idea about my children, so you assuming what they THINK is very wrong. Yes, I am teaching my children the love of Jesus. If you met them today, you would know that, but I'm not so sure I would want you to after your attack on me and my parenting. My children are friendly with everyone, no matter race, religion, or whatever else. They tell all the people they meet about Jesus. If I were not teaching them that Jesus loves them and loves others, then why would they feel compelled to tell others about him. I made a comment about what you said, I did not attack you personally. How rude!

VisitorinWaiting -> RE: how to be friends with atheists (5/19/2008 9:19:42 PM)
luvmysavior...thank you for your PM's to let me know how you feel on this issue. I have already replied to you about what I think would be best to tell your friend, but will re-state it here... You should just be as honest with her as you were with us here. Tell her how your son reacted...tell her that you and your husband have talked about it, and for the well being of your child, you think it would be best if they didn't play together anymore. I would just be very upfront and honest with her. Tell her that you have waited a while to talk to her about it because you were thinking that she might consider you judgemental or close-minded, and you didn't want her to think that. (But, if she does feel that way, there is nothing that you can do about it. If you lose a friend, you lose a friend...but the impact it could have on your child could be worse. I don't know about your son, but my almost five year old remembers everything and brings things up from A LONG TIME ago that I wouldn't have expected him to remember...so, just keep on keeping your family first, and friends come second.)

manda59 -> RE: how to be friends with atheists (5/20/2008 8:41:43 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: VisitorinWaiting Tell her how your son reacted...tell her that you and your husband have talked about it, and for the well being of your child, you think it would be best if they didn't play together anymore. I would just be very upfront and honest with her. Tell her that you have waited a while to talk to her about it because you were thinking that she might consider you judgemental or close-minded, and you didn't want her to think that. How many atheists or other non-Christians do you know really well, like up close? I am guessing not many, or maybe even none at all. How would you react if someone you knew told you that associating with your child was harmful to theirs? How would you feel if it was your child who was being demonised? I just don't understand how Christ would be at all glorified by this type of response, and in fact I personally think it would be a harmful witness, as it shows no consideration at all for the feelings of the other person.

VisitorinWaiting -> RE: how to be friends with atheists (5/20/2008 10:11:46 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: manda59 How many atheists or other non-Christians do you know really well, like up close? I am guessing not many, or maybe even none at all. How would you react if someone you knew told you that associating with your child was harmful to theirs? How would you feel if it was your child who was being demonised? I just don't understand how Christ would be at all glorified by this type of response, and in fact I personally think it would be a harmful witness, as it shows no consideration at all for the feelings of the other person. In my life, I have known only one person that referred to herself as an atheist. She and I saw one another every day, talked every day...so I felt like I knew her really well. Since college is now over, and she married and moved away, I wouldn't know how to find her, as she married a Russian, and I couldn't remember his last name if you paid me to. As far as non-Christians...I have neighbors that are non-Christian...and I see them on a regular basis...when we are outdoors, and they are as well. One of them talks to me a lot, and so I feel like I know her pretty well. In my defense, we just moved to the area, so I don't know a lot of people here, Christian or not. I did back in my hometown though...I worked with a lesbian at one point...so we know that she wasn't a Christian... So, I feel like maybe I haven't known as much as others have...and maybe I haven't known many REALLY well...but I feel like I at least know how I would react to them...as I have been in daily contact with them in different parts of my life. I would probably be upset if someone told me that associating with my child was harmful to theirs... (I have actually been told by a third party before that my son was making another child too "hyper" and that my child needed to keep his distance from the other child...and that hurt my feelings. I was upset. I didn't lash out at the person though. Instead, I told my husband what happened, and we all talked about it. Not every situation can go that way though, and I understand that.) I don't see how anything but honesty would be glorifying to Christ. Anything else is a lie. I haven't heard the OP state any other reasons that she would not want the children playing together except for the girl telling her son that she didn't believe in God. I think it would be important for the mother of the girl to know how her son reacted. I wonder what the little boy thinks about the little girl now...if he WANTS to play with her again...if he'd act differently around her now...maybe luvmysavior could let us know if he's said anything about the girl since the situation...

manda59 -> RE: how to be friends with atheists (5/20/2008 10:28:02 AM)
Just to give you some background on me, VIW, my late father was an atheist, my mother is a vaguely agnostic/theisty sort of person, all my relatives aren't Christians, my husband also comes from a non-Christian family. I myself became a Christian at 17 (my husband became one when he was about 17 too), and attended high school and college with very few other Christians (just one or two). My dh and I have numerous non-Christian friends, including atheists. My ds committed his life to the Lord personally when he was 9, and my dd when she was 13; they believed long before that, but that was when it got really personal for them. At their schools, there was never more than 1 or 2 children from Christian homes. At high school for my dd right now (she is 14), that means 2 Christians out of a year group of 240. Both have always had more non-Christian friends than Christian friends (not in the least because most of the young people at Church, from Christian families, are less than committed to Christ). quote: ORIGINAL: VisitorinWaiting I would probably be upset if someone told me that associating with my child was harmful to theirs... (I have actually been told by a third party before that my son was making another child too "hyper" and that my child needed to keep his distance from the other child...and that hurt my feelings. And that's likely to be exactly how the OP's friend would react. quote: I don't see how anything but honesty would be glorifying to Christ. Anything else is a lie. My two suggestions were not lies, VIW. quote: I think it would be important for the mother of the girl to know how her son reacted. Why?

luvmysavior -> RE: how to be friends with atheists (5/20/2008 10:35:45 AM)
Like your son, Visitorinwaiting, my son has a loooooong memory and does bring things up that I can't believe he remembers. That's part of my concern, as I mentioned earlier, that he will bug the poor girl to death too (such as, "do you believe in God yet?" That's just the nature of his personality. Along those lines, if it does come up in the future, I could tell my friend that I'm concerned for her daughter too, that she will be subjected to my son's questioning. He hasn't reached the age where he has developed a lot of tact and discretion...he says what he thinks, unless we talk to him about it, and as I said earlier, I don't want to send him the wrong message by saying, "Don't talk about Jesus too much and make someone uncomfortable." That would confuse him. My friend has told me in the past about different occasions where grandparents, etc. tried to talk to her daughter about God, and she (my friend) told them that she was uncomfortable with that. She is trying to "shield" her daughter from hearing about God, in other words. So she may not want her daughter around my son a whole lot either! So I guess after talking this through with everyone, and thinking it through, I may have a solution that is honest and that my friend would agree with too, if it does come up in the future. Edited to say that my friend saw how my son reacted, and it was pretty uncomfortable for everyone involved. He cried a little, and I left my friend and her daughter in the kitchen and took my son into his room where we talked and prayed. So my friend definitely knows what happened. This may be kind of an unspoken agreement already between my friend and I, I'm not sure. Also, in answer to Manda59, those are good ideas on how to approach the topic--and since my friend did witness everything, the direct approach you mentioned would probably be best. My friend may be thinking the same thing already, and if not, I do know that she wouldn't appreciate my son bringing up the subject of God to her daughter, which he would certainly do, knowing him.

buckifn -> RE: how to be friends with atheists (5/20/2008 10:37:52 AM)
quote: Wow! You bite hard when you bite, don't you? You have no idea about my children, so you assuming what they THINK is very wrong. Yes, I am teaching my children the love of Jesus. If you met them today, you would know that, but I'm not so sure I would want you to after your attack on me and my parenting. My children are friendly with everyone, no matter race, religion, or whatever else. They tell all the people they meet about Jesus. If I were not teaching them that Jesus loves them and loves others, then why would they feel compelled to tell others about him. I made a comment about what you said, I did not attack you personally. How rude! It was not an attack it was my view of what your words sound like...and thats what forums are all about ..getting the personal view of others. You said something that is totally the opposite of what JESUS said in scripture and I typed what scripture said because it is the truth. We are to base our lives on scripture. If that sounds like a personal attack then I don't know what else to say except pray and read the scripture and see what Jesus said. Frankly your words here do not give me a reason to believe you are teaching your children love...but how to be judgmental and avoid those who do not know God. Remember you are the one who said you need any advice on how to tell your child not to be around this other child.

luvmysavior -> RE: how to be friends with atheists (5/20/2008 10:45:18 AM)
quote: Remember you are the one who said you need any advice on how to tell your child not to be around this other child. Buckifn, just wanted to clarify that I was the OP asking for advice, not Visitorinwaiting.

VisitorinWaiting -> RE: how to be friends with atheists (5/20/2008 11:21:25 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: buckifn It was not an attack it was my view of what your words sound like...and thats what forums are all about ..getting the personal view of others. If telling a Christian that she's not teaching her children about the love of Jesus isn't an attack, then I don't know what is! My children are some of the most loving children I have ever met. I don't want them to stay away from atheist children or non-Christians. I just would not invite those children over to my home with my children. If they wanted to play together in a neutral area, that would be fine, as long as I was able to keep them in an area that I could hear and support what was being said, and what was being done. quote: You said something that is totally the opposite of what JESUS said in scripture and I typed what scripture said because it is the truth. We are to base our lives on scripture. If that sounds like a personal attack then I don't know what else to say except pray and read the scripture and see what Jesus said. My spiritual life is right on track. If it weren't, my pastor would lead me in the right direction and show me where I am mistaken. I pray a lot...have to with our situation...and I read scripture every day...so, don't go assuming that I don't do either of those. The Bible says a lot of other things, which I have quoted which goes right along with my point of view on this situation. The words that you quoted...I will have to look up the context, but I do know that Jesus went through 40 days of temptation...because He was God in the flesh, He was able to handle the attacks of the devil. We also have to handle/ward off the attacks of the devil, but Jesus did it perfectly, without fault. quote: Frankly your words here do not give me a reason to believe you are teaching your children love...but how to be judgmental and avoid those who do not know God. Remember you are the one who said you need any advice on how to tell your child not to be around this other child. And, frankly, you know nothing about my children...or what I'm teaching them. You read a series of posts on one subject and gather from that that I'm unloving and teaching my children the same. It's just not true. If you really knew me, or knew people that knew me, you would get a totally different idea. People can accuse me of not teaching my children a lot of things, but the love of God is just not one of them. I teach them that on a daily basis... If an atheist moved in next door, you better believe I would welcome them and be nice to them. I wouldn't be inviting them over, though. I would talk to them as much as possible and live out the love of Christ for them to see as well as witnessing to them...I just do not believe that my children should be exposed on a regular basis to a person who tells them that she doesn't believe in God. Why cause them to doubt at such a young age?!?!?? And, you have already been corrected...but it wasn't me who asked for advice.

manda59 -> RE: how to be friends with atheists (5/20/2008 12:00:55 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: VisitorinWaiting If an atheist moved in next door, you better believe I would welcome them and be nice to them. I wouldn't be inviting them over, though. I would talk to them as much as possible and live out the love of Christ for them to see as well as witnessing to them... How could you do that without having them in your house? You know, regarding "locations", I believe totally differently from you. Our home is a spiritually safe place; we pray both inside it and outside it (we prayer walk our "boundaries" on a regular basis). We know that we have spiritual authority over anything that happens here, because we have claimed the ground and commit it to the Lord every day. So, when it comes to getting to know non-Christians, adults or children, we would far rather meet with them here, on our territory, where we have authority and influence, than in their home or even in "neutral" territory (I am not sure that any place is spiritually neutral). If we know someone is coming to our house, we can pray, worship and spiritually prepare and fortify our home. If we go to someone else's home, someone else's "territory", we don't have that same authority - we only have authority over ourselves, not over the floor space, bricks and mortar, spiritual forces resident in that home which have an "entitlement" to live there. That's why, whenever our children, when they were younger, were invited to play at someone else's home, we'd always say that we'd rather they came to our home. We did the same when the subject of sleepovers came up - that we'd prefer it was here under our roof. Not only can/do we pray beforehand, but we also have a "clear out" afterwards. quote: I just do not believe that my children should be exposed on a regular basis to a person who tells them that she doesn't believe in God. Why cause them to doubt at such a young age?!?!?? I am curious as to why you think that hearing that someone else doesn't believe in God should necessarily cause a child to doubt (as opposed to it leading them simply to question/reason)?

buckifn -> RE: how to be friends with atheists (5/20/2008 1:12:53 PM)
quote: but it wasn't me who asked for advice. well you are the one posting and the one who said we cannot overcome evil like Jesus did, when in fact Scripture clearly teaches us we can overcome BECAUSE Jesus did. Anywaz, I am sure my scripture sharing is not going to change your heart so have a good day.

VisitorinWaiting -> RE: how to be friends with atheists (5/20/2008 2:08:20 PM)
luvmysavior... I am politely bowing out of this conversation... I appreciate your pm that advised me that you agree with me and that you were beginning to doubt yourself because no one else did. Never doubt the decisions that you and your husband make in regards to the safety and protection of your children. God will guide you. As you can see, I am being accused of everything from not teaching my children the love of Christ to not having the love of Christ myself...and knowing that isn't true, I refuse to continue to check this thread and read those lies. Those will only break down the Spirit and not build it up. So, I won't be checking back here anymore. It took me a few days of just looking at the title for this thread without responding. I know that God had me respond so that you would know that you were not alone in your idea of not allowing your child to play with your friend's child anymore...and in following what your husband said. I know my children like no one else does. I am here with them 24/7. I believe that God gave them to me and gave me the ability to stay at home with them...and that He leads me and my husband in the decisions that we make for them. Some may think that my protecting or shielding is wrong, but I know in my heart of hearts that I am not doing wrong by my children. My parents (who were not Christians until a few years ago AFTER I had been married and had my own children) were very protective of me and shielded me from a lot when I was under their roof. At the time, I hated it...and even gave them a lot of grief for doing it...I went off to college very naive...but that naive girl did not get into any trouble, and even grew more in her walk with Christ there than she had up to that point. So, their shielding and protecting me did not hinder me as I went out in the "bigger" world. If I do as good a job raising my children as they did with me, I will be happy. If I err on the side of too much shielding, too much protecting...I'd rather err on that side. God bless. If you'd like to continue to communicate with me via PM, luvmysavior, feel free.

luvmysavior -> RE: how to be friends with atheists (5/20/2008 2:08:36 PM)
I just think that we all protect our children from many different things, at least I hope we do. Part of preparing our kids to deal with the many nonbelievers they will encounter, is to help them establish a strong faith BEFORE they go out into the world. We may prevent them from watching certain TV shows that they're not ready for. When they're teenagers we may keep tabs on who they're hanging out with. Each parent may protect their kids in different ways, but I don't think that any of us as Christians are going to just throw our kids out there and see what happens! As parents, we should set examples for our kids on how to live the Christian life. That doesn't mean that we should always put our kids in the same situations as we adults face. That will all come soon enough on its own. Along that line, we should let our kids see us witness to nonbelievers, help nonbelievers, etc. I take my kids to local mission projects such as outreach to the elderly, etc. They see the example that my husband and I try to live out. I just think that part of our job as parents is to protect them, and there's nothing wrong with that. In Corinthians it says "Do not keep company with those who have not faith: for what is there in common between righteousness and evil, or between light and dark?" I found an interesting article (from a Christian website; I think the author may be S. Michael Houdmann--I'm trying to give credit to who wrote it, and he's the president of the site) that speaks to this. These are just bits and pieces from the article, to keep it short. I'm not saying that this is the end-all viewpoint, but it does explain what I am trying to say: "Clearly the message of Scripture is that believers are completely different from nonbelievers, and it is from this perspective that we must discern what kind of friendships we can really have with unbelievers. [Friendships with nonbelievers] can and does often cause the Christian to stumble in their walk, fall back into a sinful life . . . Another detrimental effect of closeness with unbelievers is our tendency to water down the truth of Scripture so as not to offend them. There are difficult truths in the Word of God . . . when we minimize or ignore these doctrines . . . this is not evangelism. "Although these close relationships are not recommended, it does not mean that we turn our noses up and ignore unbelievers either. . . we are to be kind and not quarrel with anyone. . . we should gently teach those who oppose the truth . . . we should serve unbelievers..." A quote from another article, this one by Rev. John Knox: "As believers, we are not to allow ourselves fellowship with people ... which are in opposition to the teachings of the word of God...That doesn't mean, of course, that we are not to be a witness and light unto the world. We most certainly are to go forth carrying the message of the gospel to all nations. Our fellowship and friendships, however, are a different matter...Even within our own friendships or families there sometimes is a person...who pulls us down, by their unscriptural words or actions...Therefore, to protect ourselves and our ability to be effective in the Kingdom of God, we need to walk in the light of the living word, and associate with likeminded believers." Sorry for the lengthy post.

stellaluna -> RE: how to be friends with atheists (5/20/2008 2:26:26 PM)
If you want to keep your son away from this little girl, I won't tell you not to. But I do take issue with the idea that Christians should not have relationships with unbelievers. I think if being around an unbeliever makes you doubt or question your faith, you were doubting or questioning already. Being around my unbeliever friends makes me grateful that I have hope, that my life was bought and paid for and I pray that I am a light to them. They know that I am Christian and there have been many conversations about Christ over the years and I trust that seeds are being planted. (Well, for that matter, I have seen half a dozen or so become born again.) I've learned over and over that drive-by evangelism rarely works and holding unbelievers at arm's length often creates a situation in which the unbeliever says, "They think they're too good to have anything to do with me." Rejection in both directions. Let me encourage you to equip your child--including to be more tactful if you're worried he'll bulldoze his playmates [;)]--but not hide your child away. I wish I had learned as a child to be open with my faith and accepting and loving of everyone. I had to learn that as an adult and it was a lot harder, I believe.

manda59 -> RE: how to be friends with atheists (5/20/2008 3:35:37 PM)
luvmysavior With regard to the Corinthians passage you quoted, I don't know what translation you're looking at, but the mainstream translations don't actually "do not keep company", but "do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers". Yoking indicates a really close bond, like a marriage, or a business partnership, or a close "confidante" type friendship, not just ordinary day to day friendships. quote: ORIGINAL: luvmysavior I just think that we all protect our children from many different things, at least I hope we do. Part of preparing our kids to deal with the many nonbelievers they will encounter, is to help them establish a strong faith BEFORE they go out into the world. With respect, your son, since he goes to public school, is ALREADY out in the world. For x number of hours a day, he is not in your care and vulnerable to all kinds of opinions or influences. I put it to you that he will benefit from being equipped and empowered now. Also, do we apply that line of thinking (waiting till they are strong/competent) in any other areas of our children's lives? Do we keep them locked away at home till they are teens, so that their immune system is fully developed before they meet any germs? (or indeed, is that how their immune system develops??!) Do we not let them near any water until they are teens, rather than teaching them water skills while they are small? I maintain that exposing our children to non-believers now, COMBINED with teaching them safe wholesome boundaries around such people, will ASSIST their faith to develop, rather than hinder or stifle it.

luvmysavior -> RE: how to be friends with atheists (5/20/2008 5:58:40 PM)
quote: With respect, your son, since he goes to public school, is ALREADY out in the world. For x number of hours a day, he is not in your care and vulnerable to all kinds of opinions or influences. I put it to you that he will benefit from being equipped and empowered now. Thankfully, his public school is very Christian friendly. In our state, a law was passed allowing the free expression of any religion. The school cannot favor one religion over the other, but there cannot be suppression of religious expression. A number of children at my son's school have little signs with crosses, or with Jesus' name, etc. on their lockers, for example. Teachers mention praying, etc. As I mentioned in a previous post, if he encounters someone at school who doesn't believe in God, so be it...we would talk about it, pray for them, etc. But to purposely place my son with an older child who is taught not to believe in God, when they don't have much in common anyway....I don't think it's necessary. Anyway, I think I'm bowing out of the discussion, because I think that we're sort of revisiting the same arguments over and over again. I do understand your points of view, and I appreciate all the input--I really do. Thank you for all of your suggestions. You've allowed me to really think things through, and that has really helped me out. I agree with much of what you've all said. Blessings to all of you!

manda59 -> RE: how to be friends with atheists (5/20/2008 9:12:08 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: luvmysavior Thankfully, his public school is very Christian friendly. In our state, a law was passed allowing the free expression of any religion. The school cannot favor one religion over the other, but there cannot be suppression of religious expression. I'm in the UK - it's very much the same here. However, I was not referring to the school set-up, but to a child's peers. quote: But to purposely place my son with an older child who is taught not to believe in God, when they don't have much in common anyway....I don't think it's necessary. I agree with you that the age difference is a major factor here, for a variety of reasons.

susiewho -> RE: how to be friends with atheists (5/22/2008 1:30:00 AM)
I just want to add some advise from experience. We also have friends where the wife is an agnostic. We are close to these friends and pray for her salvation. Over time our son became aware that she is not saved. At about the age of 10 he became very concerned for her. He was old enough and finally paying real attention in church. He realized that since she is not saved she will not be in heaven. Next came the realization that she will be in the lake of fire. This was very hard on him. We used this as a chance to help our son grow as a Christian, to teach him that salvation is a choice and not everyone will accept Jesus as their personal savior. His heart hurt for her. We explained that he could pray for her. He knows we talk openly about our faith to her. She knows about the Lord but chooses to deny Him. Our son is 16 now and when we are in town we always get together with these friends. A lot of the time it opens up conversation with our son later. Our children will most likely be around atheists, agnostics, Muslims, Buddhist, Wicca and other religions. They need to understand the choices that are made and how to stand strong in their own beliefs. They need to be based in the word of God and learn compassion. As a teenager in public schools our son has friends who are not solid in their faith or have no faith at all. We have heard and participated in conversations with him and his friends discussing our faith. He is able to feel the burden of a loved ones salvation and know it is important to share what he knows. He learned through the experience of heartbreak for a close friends salvation how important it is. Perhaps you can use this as a learning experience for your son. Explain to your child that there are other beliefs or non-beliefs. That Satan is the author of confusion and will use any means to keep a person from God with false religions or lies leading people to believe there is no god. As Christians we need to be His witness through our every thought, word and action. The discussion may also help him grow in his own faith and understanding. Maybe this will help, maybe not. My prayers are with you and your family this night.

RJR_fan -> RE: how to be friends with atheists (11/12/2008 2:47:08 PM)
I note that you use the Ukrainian spelling of the city's name -- although it's hard to find an i with two dots on the web. I spent two weeks in Ukraine, summer of 1992, and fell in love with that country and its people. God willing, I'd like to teach there someday. Is Russian or Ukrainian the language to study for those who wish that nation well?

ladyichigo -> RE: how to be friends with atheists (11/13/2008 9:35:22 PM)
quote: Hi, I'm new to this forum and I need advice on an issue that has been tormenting me for some time. I'm married with 2 kids, my oldest is a 6 year old boy. I have a friend I've known since college, 15 years ago, who is married with a nine year old daughter. My friend and her husband are atheists and are raising their daughter as an atheist. A few months ago, their daughter told my little boy that she does not believe in God. This rocked my son's world. He was very upset and confused. As a result, my husband does not want our son to spend time with our friends' daughter. I agree with him, because our son is at an impressionable age. The problem is, how can I explain this to my friend, without losing her friendship, and without destroying my witness? I'm afraid that she will think, "Another judgemental, close-minded Christian!" But my husband and I are on the same page, and I have been "avoiding" my friend for several months because I have no idea how to handle this. Any advice? THANK YOU! Hi I'm gonna jump in without reading the other posts. Let me share with you about my childhood friendship with an atheist: When I was 8 years old, I became best friends with a neighbor girl across the street. We were the same age, and we did everything together. I remember that I had just accepted Christ at that age. One day I asked my friend if she was afraid to die. She said she was. I told her that I wasn't because I knew I was going Heaven because I had Jesus Christ in my heart. She didn't say anything then, but the following day, she told me that her Dad had told her that Jesus Christ was dead, and that her daddy told her that God is dead. I was perplexed as to why her dad would tell her such things. My parents never told me that there were people who didn't believe in God, so I thought EVERYONE believed God existed. I tried to explain within my 8 year old understanding of who God is and who Jesus Christ is, and what He did for mankind. Apparently, every time I tried to discuss Christ with her, she would report it to her father who was an atheist. I tried to invite her to church a few times. Several times, I remember her dad trying to debate with me (an 8 year old) on the existence of God. Since I was only 8, and I had no idea really how to defend my own faith. I asked my parents what I should do. My parents in trying to "protect" me thought that it would be best if I did not spend too much time at my friend's home because they feared they would be a "bad influence" on me since they were not Christians. My parents hardly spoke to my friend's parents (mostly because they spoke only Japanese). Whenever my friend would have sleep-overs and invite me to come, I would have to decline because my parents did not permit it. My parents were even reluctant to have me go over to her house for her Birthday Party or just a dinner. Eventually I stopped witnessing to her because I didn't know how to answer the questions she or her dad had. I tried my best to stay good friends with her despite the differences in our beliefs. During High School, I grew increasingly interested in growing spiritually and started to hang out with her less and less because our priorities grew increasingly different. I did however try to invite her to some youth events, and she did come to some, but eventually she ended up telling me that she herself was an atheist and no longer wished to be invited to any church related events. I wish my parents had equipped me with the knowledge in defending my faith when I asked instead of making me avoid having to spend long periods of time with my friend and her family. That actually made my friend and her family even MORE turned off by the Christian faith. I wish my parents had explained to me back then that there were people out there who didn't want to believe in God and helped me understand why. I wish they prepared me better instead of sheltering me.

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