Sick/No Symptoms (Full Version)

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csl7037 -> Sick/No Symptoms (5/15/2008 6:58:30 AM)

How do you handle a kid who's sick with no symptoms? Dd did throw up a little a couple times yesterday morning. No fever or anything. Around noon she was up and acting better. Even helped me vaccuum. When it was time to go get her brother, she said she was sick again. Luckily I found him a ride home at the very last minute. But she's been in bed ever since! I was sure she'd be up and moving this morning but she's still sitting there with her head in a bucket refusing to move.

She's complained for a couple weeks about her tummy hurting, she's been absurdly gassy! But not nauseous till now. I think something's bothering her tummy; maybe I need to see if we can get in to the doctor.

But I need to get her brother to school and I have to be back at 11:30 for an event in his class and don't have anyone to cover for me. And this afternoon is the last dance class before the big recital - the teacher needs her to be there!

How do I teach a child (she's 8 1/2) that sometimes you have to follow through on a commitment or just do what you've got to do even if you don't feel great. If it was me with the upset tummy, we all know laying in bed for two days wouldn't be an option. Am I wrong to think she's milking it?



manda59 -> RE: Sick/No Symptoms (5/15/2008 8:47:06 AM)

If she was my child, and she hadn't been sick since yesterday, and she didn't have a high temperature, she'd have been at school today - there would be no "refusing". My two have both known since they were small that if they feel unwell, unless they have been sick that morning or have a high (not a slight) temperature, they go to school anyway and then tell the school nurse if they continue to feel unwell and need to come home. Nine times out of ten, once they're at school, it takes their mind off things and they just get on with it.

There's never any languishing at home unless they are really obviously poorly. I think my two have never had more than 2 days off school in their whole school life (my ds is 18, my dd 14).

quote:


How do I teach a child (she's 8 1/2) that sometimes you have to follow through on a commitment or just do what you've got to do even if you don't feel great.


You tell them "hard luck, you're going to school" and then you make them go.

Whereabouts does she say her tummy hurts?

Btw, it's possible that your daughter is approaching puberty - her symptoms could be a sign of that.



PrincessDonna -> RE: Sick/No Symptoms (5/15/2008 8:59:09 AM)

quote:

She's complained for a couple weeks about her tummy hurting, she's been absurdly gassy! But not nauseous till now. I think something's bothering her tummy; maybe I need to see if we can get in to the doctor.


I think I'd get her into the doctor, just to have them rule out some things. Appendix problems can "simmer" for a while before they become obvious. Or, it could be the start of puberty, like Manda said. But since she's not felt well for a couple weeks, I think I'd get her in just to make sure.

And then if the doctor doesn't find anything wrong, you can certainly reasonably tell her that the doctor has checked her out and she is well enough to go to school and other commitments.

I would not make a child who was hovering over a bucket go to school, unless I was absolutely sure they were NOT sick and just didn't want to go.



manda59 -> RE: Sick/No Symptoms (5/15/2008 9:06:51 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: PrincessDonna
I would not make a child who was hovering over a bucket go to school, unless I was absolutely sure they were NOT sick and just didn't want to go.



I would!!

But then my children's schools have only ever been a quarter of a mile away at the closest, and a mile away at the most. So if the school nurse rang me to say they were unwell, it would be easy enough for me to go and get them.

And I was raised that way as well - I'd practically have had to have had a leg hanging off before I was allowed to stay home from school "sick". [:D]



PrincessDonna -> RE: Sick/No Symptoms (5/15/2008 9:09:09 AM)

My school aged child doesn't fake sick, and hates missing school. If he's hanging over a bucket or complaining of pain anywhere, then he is not well enough to go to school. He's taken cough/allergy medicine every day before school for the last two weeks (has bad seasonal allergies), with not a single mention of staying home.

I agree if a child is not sick they need to be in school. But this isn't my child we're talking about, so I can't know if she's sick or not, KWIM? I think if her tummy has been off for a couple weeks, it might be better to just take her in to the doctor. Then if she's not sick...mom can easily tell her she saw the doctor, she is fine, and she IS going to school.



Ellie-Mae -> RE: Sick/No Symptoms (5/15/2008 9:17:20 AM)

After being checked out, if said child is still having troubles, I would be having some serious talks with her. Tummy troubles can be the result of stress at school as well. No 8 year old should be under that much stress and I would be considering whether or not intervention was needed.



manda59 -> RE: Sick/No Symptoms (5/15/2008 9:24:31 AM)

How is she getting on at school? Have there been any changes recently? Does she have a good circle of friends?



Kat_D -> RE: Sick/No Symptoms (5/15/2008 9:50:04 AM)

You said "Sick/No Symptoms," but in actuality, your child does have symptoms. Maybe they are not as significant as you think they should be, but they ARE there.

HERE is an article regarding abdominal pain/gastric symptoms in children lasting two weeks or more. IMO, you should get her in to the doctor to be evaluated before you do anything else.

If her physician rules out a medical reason for your daughter's symptoms, you can then proceed to determine whether what she is going through is stress/school related. But, at this point, I would not jump to that conclusion if it were me.



Calea37 -> RE: Sick/No Symptoms (5/15/2008 9:54:22 AM)

She "threw up a little" and has had a ton of gas....sounds like something real to me.

If she was up and helped you vacuum but then got sick again it is probably because she wasn't well enough to be up and doing those things. I certainly wouldn't make my child go to school if she were sitting there with her head in a bucket. It sounds like she is truly sick.

As for our not getting to lie in bed when we are sick...well that is just part of being a grown up with the weight of the world on our shoulders[;)]. But she is just a little girl; she'll have to tough it out soon enough.



manda59 -> RE: Sick/No Symptoms (5/15/2008 10:23:03 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Calea37
I certainly wouldn't make my child go to school if she were sitting there with her head in a bucket.


If she is eating normally, and going to the toilet normally, and hasn't been sick since yesterday afternoon, she's not likely to be sick again and doesn't need to sit there with her head in a bucket - she might just have a fear of throwing up.



Calea37 -> RE: Sick/No Symptoms (5/15/2008 10:55:51 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: manda59

quote:

ORIGINAL: Calea37
I certainly wouldn't make my child go to school if she were sitting there with her head in a bucket.


If she is eating normally, and going to the toilet normally, and hasn't been sick since yesterday afternoon, she's not likely to be sick again and doesn't need to sit there with her head in a bucket - she might just have a fear of throwing up.


Maybe, but why chance it? If I wasn't sure, I would tend to believe my child if he said he wasn't feeling well...Especially if he had been complaining about his stomach for a while.

There was a time when my son was in public school and said he was sick but I didn't believe him. I just thought he didn't want to go to school so I made him go. Sure enough he ended up throwing up on the bus and had to be sent home. What was the point? What did I prove? I made my kid puke in front of the entire bus before I would believe he was sick? I bet that made him feel great knowing his mom didn't even believe him when he said he didn't feel well...[&o] I learned from that experience.

Even if she doesn't throw up again, the world won't end if she misses another day...And she gets to feel like her mom believes her. That is worth a lot in my opinion.



manda59 -> RE: Sick/No Symptoms (5/15/2008 11:39:31 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Calea37
There was a time when my son was in public school and said he was sick but I didn't believe him.

Even if she doesn't throw up again, the world won't end if she misses another day...And she gets to feel like her mom believes her. That is worth a lot in my opinion.


Oh I believe my children when they say they're not well. I've just raised them not to let that get in the way of what they are supposed to be doing.

As I said already in my first post in this thread:

quote:


My two have both known since they were small that if they feel unwell, unless they have been sick that morning or have a high (not a slight) temperature, they go to school anyway and then tell the school nurse if they continue to feel unwell and need to come home. Nine times out of ten, once they're at school, it takes their mind off things and they just get on with it.


If my child hadn't been sick, but said they felt sick, they'd go to school with a plastic bag in their pocket, just in case.



PrincessDonna -> RE: Sick/No Symptoms (5/15/2008 11:44:28 AM)

[&:]



manda59 -> RE: Sick/No Symptoms (5/15/2008 11:49:30 AM)

Don't you mean [:'(] ? [;)]



PrincessDonna -> RE: Sick/No Symptoms (5/15/2008 11:51:35 AM)

Well, yes. We don't take our kids to church if they don't feel well because we don't want to expose other people if they are sick. I feel the same about school. And we don't miss church very often without an obvious sickness, and Noah has not missed a day of school since he's been there.

But my kids really don't complain about feeling sick unless they ARE sick, so I guess I don't have experience with that.



woodwind228 -> RE: Sick/No Symptoms (5/15/2008 11:55:03 AM)

Have you considered the possiblity of a stomach virus. There's nothing you can do about that but let it runs its course (because it's viral). I had it a while back and was down for about a week. I felt better and went to work but then "relapsed" and was sick for another week. I had symptoms though - like stomach pain (gass could describe it) and nausea and vomiting. I don't recall having a fever.

Then again, it could be sometime entirely different. I'd get a doc's opinion.



macokjc -> RE: Sick/No Symptoms (5/15/2008 2:40:05 PM)

Two weeks is a long time to "play sick", but only you know your daughter. My one daughter suffers from "heat headaches", and it is always hard to tell with them. You don't want to expose other people to something if she does have it. Something we do with our kids if they feel sick I say that they can go to bed - but there are no movies, no talking, no reading, no playing, etc. Normally they feel better pretty quickly. [;)]

A few months ago my son was not feeling well, but he didn't have a temperature, so I made him get up and clean his room. I took his temp about 5x that day, and it was always normal, even though he felt warm. Well, hubby came home and said how warm DS felt, so I found a different thermometer. (One that didn't rely on a battery.) Yup - he had a fever and I did not get the mom of the day award.



SurpassingPeace -> RE: Sick/No Symptoms (5/15/2008 2:51:21 PM)

Not having a fever does not necessarily mean not sick. When I was a child I was frequently sick with either no fever or a very slight fever. My doctor was amazed because I would often have strep throat, pneumonia, and once even scarlet fever without a significant temperature. Just something to think about.



woodwind228 -> RE: Sick/No Symptoms (5/15/2008 3:48:27 PM)

My grandmother was at the ER not long ago and they took her temp. Something was said about digital thermometers and the nurse/tech (whomever it was) said that they never use the digital thermometers if they REALLY want to know the temp. They're unreliable she said. Guess I'll be ditching mine.



csl7037 -> RE: Sick/No Symptoms (5/15/2008 5:04:51 PM)

I agree, she had symptoms, I shouldn't have said it like that. She just didn't have the regular "get out of school free card" symptoms.

I did get her in to the doctor. She thinks it could be a combination of things. They took a urine sample and did a preliminary test in the office that said it could b a UTI. They'll know that Monday for sure. But she could've had a touch of a virus. And stress - she's had a stressful 9-weeks at school, her daddy just took a new job but until last week we thought he could be getting laid off. And the Pastor of the church where she goes to school and his son were killed in a plane crash on Monday. She didn't really know them but she asked me a few questions and then seemed OK about it. But everyone around her is just really upset and confused and hurting right now. It was just a weird compilation of symptoms and I think the doctor is right, maybe just a mix of things all just doing a number on her.

She did go to her dance class this afternoon and about half participated. It's the last class before the recital (which was to be tonight but was rescheduled because of the mess at the church). Now she feels yucky again but she had a piece of toast before class and is asking for soup now so that's good. But she's got FIVE tests to take and make up tomorrow!!! Thankfully, she's at the point in the year where only one of them could really affect her grade so I guess she should just get them over with.

Thanks everybody.



joannepir -> RE: Sick/No Symptoms (5/15/2008 6:42:18 PM)

I went through similar things with my 7 year old son at the beginning of the year. He had vague symptoms - stomacheache, cough that wouldn't go away - sore throat (strept x 3) WITHOUT a fever. He just felt terrible and didn't want to go to school. He ended up with mononucleosis. I felt bad that I didn't believe that he could still be sick after three antibiotics. It was getting alittle annoying that he still had stomachaches and complained all the time - but the poor boy really WAS sick.

I think you should listen to your daughter. Sometimes children don't know exactly where they don't feel well either. I had to ask that my child be checked for mono. It wasn't normal for him to be acting like that - even though some people said he just didn't want to go to school. Trust your instincts - have her tested further if she isn't feeling any better.



garsyt -> RE: Sick/No Symptoms (5/15/2008 8:54:55 PM)

quote:

I did get her in to the doctor. She thinks it could be a combination of things. They took a urine sample and did a preliminary test in the office that said it could b a UTI. They'll know that Monday for sure. But she could've had a touch of a virus. And stress - she's had a stressful 9-weeks at school, her daddy just took a new job but until last week we thought he could be getting laid off. And the Pastor of the church where she goes to school and his son were killed in a plane crash on Monday. She didn't really know them but she asked me a few questions and then seemed OK about it. But everyone around her is just really upset and confused and hurting right now. It was just a weird compilation of symptoms and I think the doctor is right, maybe just a mix of things all just doing a number on her.


WOW! Now that's actually quite a lot if you look at it!

#1 - possible UTI
#2 - possible virus
#3 - feeling the stress that you and dad were feeling then the relief when he got the new job.
#4 - feeling the stress of a death she doesn't understand - but thinks she should feel something because everyone else around her is feeling upset, confused, and hurt.
#5 - Stress of the upcoming recital/dance performance.

That kind of stress takes it's toll on a body - If it were me, I'd want to shut down and I'd likely feel pretty yucky too. And remember that stress affects EVERYONE differently.

Blessings,

Garsy



PrincessDonna -> RE: Sick/No Symptoms (5/15/2008 8:57:35 PM)

I'm glad you took her in. I agree with Garsy...that is a lot of stress for one little girl. I'm an adult and when I'm under stress, tummy troubles are the first thing to show up. I hope you are able to figure it out quickly for her, and that she feels better.



Calea37 -> RE: Sick/No Symptoms (5/15/2008 9:21:40 PM)

My son when he was in first grade had mono too and I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!! He never really complained, but he was very lethargic...started falling behind in school. I didn't find out until much later when I took him in for something else and they said he had had mono within the last year. I guess that is why I always just err on the side of caution.

Anyway, I'm glad you got her in to the doctor and I hope she starts feeling well very soon! [:)]



pbaribeault -> RE: Sick/No Symptoms (5/15/2008 10:01:22 PM)

When I was in 2nd or 3rd grade, my parents perceived me as going into a moody 'stage' where I was lazy, grouchy, oppositional and constantly complaining about not feeling well. Their parenting tactics reflected how much they were at their wit's end with my behavior, and we had a rough 6 months. My social life imploded, and school was very difficult to face.

That was when they found out that I'd had a prolonged case of salmonella for the entire time.

(I was the 'key' case that allowed them to find the source of the food poisoning, because my grandmother had sent me the contaminated candy from another area of the country, and because I had eaten my brother's share too -- so I was out-of-area, and in our case not all the children in the home had it.)

The sad thing is that when I look back at that time in my life, that was when I really internalized all sorts of damaging self-image problems. I am still dealing with the consequences of what I "learned" that year.

I'm not sure how that's relevant, except to say that some effects of being ill last longer than others, and that a little support goes a long ways.



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