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RE: Unequally Yolked - 6/14/2008 2:26:15 PM
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StephenJ
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It's my friend who is an Adventist, the guy she's dating is a non-Christian. I'll avoid the discussion on the Adventist spiritual beliefs (which I don't always agree with but do respect, I wouldn't say they aren't Christians), and say that I'm suprised that she said that this guy is better to her than many Christians. He respects her beliefs about getting to physical (unlike some of her past Christian boyfriends), and apparently treats her pretty well.
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RE: Unequally Yolked - 6/14/2008 3:05:57 PM
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manda59
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quote:
ORIGINAL: StephenJ
Can I throw something else into this thread?
What if an unbeliever, before the relationship starts, says that they're willing to respect the Christian's beliefs? Like they want to respect Christian moral issues like abstinence and going to church?
Stephen
A Christian's beliefs are surely so much more than abstinence and going to church.
_____________________________
"That's what I would say as well."
Mrs Wifey, August 2008.
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RE: Unequally Yolked - 6/14/2008 3:10:56 PM
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Kat_D
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quote:
ORIGINAL: StephenJ
quote:
ORIGINAL: Kat_D
quote:
ORIGINAL: StephenJ
It's my friend who is an Adventist, the guy she's dating is a non-Christian. I'll avoid the discussion on the Adventist spiritual beliefs (which I don't always agree with but do respect, I wouldn't say they aren't Christians), and say that I'm suprised that she said that this guy is better to her than many Christians. He respects her beliefs about getting to physical (unlike some of her past Christian boyfriends), and apparently treats her pretty well.
Oh, O.K. I don't want to get into the 7th Day/Christian thing any further because it is off-topic and does not concern the OP, but I was completely confused because I knew she said her boyfriend was an atheist. I wish when people quote others they would include the name of the poster. It would sure make life easier! 
No problem.
Something RGod said has got me thinking. Some of the things you mentioned in your post seem to indicate that even interdenominationl unions could, in some cases, count as being unequally yoked. Diffrent Christian denominations sometimes believe diffrent things about the workings of the Holy Spirit. This idea seems odd to me as someone who went to school at a Christian school with multiple denominations, and still has friends from diffrent denominations.
Thoughts?
Stephen, maybe you could start another thread because this has nothing to do with what the OP originally asked. Here is her post:
"I know it says that you shouldn't be unequally yolked (sp?), and as a Christian woman who has been in relationships with non-Christian men, I can totally understand why. But is it a sin to marry someone who isn't a child of God? I know there's an obvious question of "Why would you even want to?". But with that aside, would God shun you if you were to marry a non-believer? Is that a deal-breaker?
The only deal-breaker I know of, is to deny God. And that is something I have never done and will never do. But I'm also not bible-savvy, so I really cannot say what else there is that would make you totally unworthy to enter the Kingdom, more than you already are. Help please!"
_____________________________
~Kat
"...And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes...no more death, sorrow, nor crying."
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RE: Unequally Yolked - 6/14/2008 6:48:08 PM
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StephenJ
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I just mentioned it because someone mentioned the Holy Spirit, and it's role in the Christian life. So I was wondering if that meant that it was possible to be unequally yoked with another Christian if they have somewhat diffrent beliefs in terms of that sort of thing. I don't think that's off topic, but okay back to the original post.
Who brought up the idea of marriage Vixir? Did it feel like one of you was trying to push the other into it?
P.S To whoever pointed it out, yes there is more to Christianity then chuch, and abstinence. I'm aware of that.
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Rock on!
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RE: Unequally Yolked - 6/15/2008 11:51:35 AM
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vixir
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We both mentioned it on different occasions. But it was always an up and down thing. It seemed as if he wanted to marry me when things were good between us. Then when things became sour, he changed his mind.
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RE: Unequally Yolked - 6/15/2008 2:01:18 PM
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stampinlady
Posts: 1805
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quote:
So I was wondering if that meant that it was possible to be unequally yoked with another Christian
I think so. We are to be "like minded."
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Deb
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RE: Unequally Yolked - 6/15/2008 10:32:09 PM
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Carolina6irl
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I have to say that I to am struggling with the same topic..I have been in an 11 year relationship and have three children with this man, started out very ungodly and do deal with alot of hard times trying to please God and him at the same time. I could never figure out why we havnt got married, but I must say that after reading all of these topics on this subject..I completley understand. Now what??
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RE: Unequally Yolked - 6/15/2008 11:56:41 PM
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vixir
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It's hard, because a lot of people here are saying that it's out of the question to involve yourself with someone who isn't a Christian. And if you are with someone who doesn't share the same belief as you, then you need to up and leave. But it's honestly not that easy, otherwise it's something that I would have done a long time ago. But when there are children involved, then I think you need to look passed that. Unless of course, it's like my situation where my sons daddy will do everything in his power to teach him that there is no God. Christianity and God are the two things that he just cannot accept, and I will not allow him to do that to my child. But I think that even though your boyfriend isn't a Christian, as long as he accepts and respects your faith and teaching your children about God... then why should you leave? This man is their daddy and if he isn't poisoning your faith or relationship with God or your children's relationship with God; and if he's a good father... then I don't think you should break the family apart. I know this reply will anger a lot of people. But to me that just seems totally unfair to everyone involved.
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RE: Unequally Yolked - 6/16/2008 12:19:19 AM
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Kat_D
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Vixir, we have patiently shown you what God's Word says about marrying someone who isn't a Christian. Now could you please return the favor and provide the chapter and verse that says it is O.K. to marry a non-Christian in the following instance that you gave:
quote:
ORIGINAL: vixir
But I think that even though your boyfriend isn't a Christian, as long as he accepts and respects your faith and teaching your children about God.
You then said:
quote:
It's hard, because a lot of people here are saying that it's out of the question to involve yourself with someone who isn't a Christian. And if you are with someone who doesn't share the same belief as you, then you need to up and leave. But it's honestly not that easy,
It is never easy to be obedient to God's Word. He tells us that many take the broad road that leads to destruction and few take the narrow road that leads to eternal life because it is so difficult.
But, to mislead someone to believe that there are exceptions to what God says in the following verses is unacceptable and dangerous...
14 "Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what communion has light with darkness? 15 And what accord has Christ with Belial? Or what part has a believer with an unbeliever? 16 And what agreement has the temple of God with idols? For you* are the temple of the living God. As God has said: "I will dwell in them And walk among them. I will be their God, And they shall be My people." 17 Therefore "Come out from among them And be separate, says the Lord. Do not touch what is unclean, And I will receive you." II Corinthians 12
God says what He means and means what He says...no exceptions, and we are not permitted to tweak His Word to fit our desires.
_____________________________
~Kat
"...And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes...no more death, sorrow, nor crying."
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RE: Unequally Yolked - 6/16/2008 3:08:16 PM
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ChoirDJ
Posts: 464
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From: So Cal
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quote:
It's hard, because a lot of people here are saying that it's out of the question to involve yourself with someone who isn't a Christian. And if you are with someone who doesn't share the same belief as you, then you need to up and leave.
The posters here did not say this.We are simply reiterating what God's says in His word...and No, it's never easy doing the right thing because it goes against our nature.
quote:
This man is their daddy and if he isn't poisoning your faith or relationship with God or your children's relationship with God; and if he's a good father... then I don't think you should break the family apart. I know this reply will anger a lot of people. But to me that just seems totally unfair to everyone involved.
One of the points Vixir is that when we do things God's way, we don't find ourselves in situations like this to begin with. You are facing the situation you are in simply because you were disobedient to God's word. Now when we have crossed that line and conceive a child with an unbeliever, we dont fix it by continuing to be disobedient. You can do whatever you please when all is said and done but you can never escape the age old principles that obedience to God leads to His blessings upon our lives while disobedience leads to defeat and curses.
_____________________________
"Sin will take you further than you intended to go, keep you there longer than you intended to stay, and cost you more than you intended to spend." Got it?
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RE: Unequally Yolked - 6/16/2008 3:33:38 PM
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cadams1350
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It seems clear to me that you are trying to discern what's right. Good for you. Best you do that now before makeing a committment that is more binding.
My experiance (50 years, same husband) is that IF HE IS NOT JUST AS IN LOVE WITH GOD AS YOU ARE you are in for a LOT of heart ache and STRUGGLE. He will be pulling one way and you the other more often than you may imagine. It is very uncomfortabel a lot of the time.
There have been a lot of good scriptural references. I'm sure you will prayfully consider them.
This I know...if you get bound together with an unbeliever you may have a good relationship physically and mentally, but there is going to be a HUGE hole left in the spiritual area that will never be right. That's like a spiritual parapalegic (spelling?). Why do it to yourself?
GOD IS GOOD! He makes a way where there seems to be no way, but trust me, IF YOU LOVE GOD it will be hard to live with someone who does not.
Some may say, well why not just divorce? My answer is this...the person I chose to marry may not have been the right choice BEFORE I married him, but as soon as I made the vow he became God's choice for me from that moment on. I made one mistake doing it MY way. I don't want to make another one. I really want to do it GOD'S way from here on out. So, I stay, pray, love and make lemonaide from my lemons.
And it definately will make a HUGE, HUGE differance in the way your children will come to relate to God.
I will pray for you to make the right choices.
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RE: Unequally Yolked - 6/16/2008 3:38:24 PM
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cadams1350
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OH MY ! ! ! Here I am on a christian site and I just told a big fat lie. I'm so sorry! I have not been married 50 years...I've been married 40 years. So sorry.
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RE: Unequally Yolked - 6/16/2008 5:45:32 PM
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YZGUY
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quote:
OH MY ! ! ! Here I am on a christian site and I just told a big fat lie. I'm so sorry! I have not been married 50 years...I've been married 40 years. So sorry.
Maybe it just seemed like 50! 
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RE: Unequally Yolked - 6/16/2008 10:04:14 PM
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vixir
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I'm not trying to her to disobey God. But what about the children?
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RE: Unequally Yolked - 6/16/2008 11:37:25 PM
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Kat_D
Posts: 3204
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quote:
ORIGINAL: vixir
I'm not trying to her to disobey God. But what about the children?
Do you think God can't provide for them? He owns everything...the earth and all that is in it, and if we obey Him there is nothing He can't or won't do for us and our children. Do you think God can't be a Father to them? He loves them more than you could ever imagine. If you do His will he will bless you and your children. Try Him and see.
"...what does the Lord your God require of you, but to fear the Lord your God, to walk in all His ways and to love Him, to serve the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul, 13 and to keep the commandments of the Lord and His statutes which I command you today for your good? 14 Indeed heaven and the highest heavens belong to the Lord your God, also the earth with all that is in it." Deut. 10
22 "And whatever we ask we receive from Him, because we keep His commandments and do those things that are pleasing in His sight." -I Jn 3
_____________________________
~Kat
"...And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes...no more death, sorrow, nor crying."
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RE: Unequally Yolked - 6/19/2008 8:52:46 AM
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Ninjaearth
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quote:
ORIGINAL: creationtalk
If God saved you--you asked for Jesus to come into your life, truly meant it, then there is NOTHING that can separate you from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus. This does NOT mean that you cannot royally mess up, sin and grieve the Holy Spirit. The good news is that salvation is not dependent on you and what you do or don't do. Salvation is dependent only on the sacrifice of Christ. God is omnipotent, omnipresent, and all the other omni's..which means that God knew when he saved you everything you had done and would do. It would be against God's nature to "accept" you as his child, then reject you because of something that he KNEW, before you were even born, you were going to do. God's grace is not a license to sin, but it is a comfort and reassurance when we DO sin.
God sometimes uses a blessing granted while we are in sin to wake us up to that sin, bring us to repentance. That is how it was with me. I was pregnant with my son (God's blessing) when my xh and I married. Yet as soon as I knew I was pregnant, I began thinking about things I was doing in my life that violated my core beliefs. And I knew that I did not want my son to grow up thinking these things were acceptable because he saw me doing them. So I stopped, repented, and changed my behavior. Unfortunately, my son's father (a self-professed Christian) didn't want to stop the sinful behavior; he ended up divorcing me because of it.
Just because God blessed me in spite of my sin, does not mean that there are no consequences to sin. I battle constantly with the fact that my son is allowed to do things and exposed to things at his father's house that I would never allow in my home; I work incredibly long hours to provide a home and living for my son rather than staying home with him as would be my preference. I have no one to lean on when I am tired, hurt, or ill.
I am not really sure that the admonition to not marry an unbeliever is a command. I think that it is more a caution...like the advice against borrowing money. It doesn't say never borrow money, it says If you do this, there will be unpleasant consequences...
If that's true, then God's command to Israel to not marry foreigners would also be a suggestion. However, as we can see in the OT, this usually led Israel astray to serve foreign gods and turn away from the Lord. Solomon himself, a man full of wisdom, married tons of foreign women. We all know what happened to him (lol). Also, God instituted this law originally in the law of Moses because He desired to protect them and His relationship with them. Marrying foreigners was against the law of Moses; transgressing this law was not an option without consequences. Similarly, as Christians, under the law of grace, we are commanded (Paul writes this as a commandment, not a suggestion for the same reason it was a command and law in Israel) not to be yoked to unbelievers. Most likely, given the same reason it was for Israel is given to us. 1 Cor 7 even states that there is no gaurantee that a Christian will be able to save his/her spouse if they are an unbeliever, so why put yourself in that situation that will result in a constant struggle between God and Satan.
I know my parents and I look at their marriage; my entire household was filled with pagans (myself included) but after my mom got saved, I followed some years later. My stepdad isn't saved, but claims that he was years ago (the evidence isn't present at all, though); as a result though of having one Christian parent and a non-Christian parent, it is very hard to live in that house. The constant oppression of trying to do things under his own power conflicts with that of what my mother does for the Lord as well as for me as a man of God being under the honor of my stepdad. She has expressed to me that desire to really take off in the Lord but it's so hard because financially and materially he is hooked on these things; it conflicts with her wanting to do things for God (like spend more time at church and wanting to have her husband present when other wives have their husbands at church during special times - i.e. Christmas). While this is a case in 1 Cor 7, the case in 2 Cor 6 deals with those who are joining themselves to spouses or partners that were not of the faith (temple prostitution was big back in the city of Corinth) but may have in fact been single (since Paul addressed the issues of marriage back in 1 Cor 7) he sends out a reminder in this second letter (for us) that we are not to marry (yoke ourselves, bound together) with those of another faith (including atheist). The only exception is that if two people are who not saved and one gets saved during the marriage, then it's an issue for 1 Cor 7 of praying for the other spouse and living a Godly life waiting and trusting the Lord to use His child as a light to save the other. For no reason should the Christian leave the marriage, even if the unbeliever deserts the marriage.
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"Spiritual Soldier Ninjaearth"
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RE: Unequally Yolked - 6/19/2008 9:38:16 AM
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Kat_D
Posts: 3204
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From: Where We Shake, Rattle & Roll!
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quote:
ORIGINAL: creationtalk
I am not really sure that the admonition to not marry an unbeliever is a command. I think that it is more a caution
I believe you would be wrong. Again, this is what the verses say:
14 "Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers. For what fellowship has righteousness with lawlessness? And what communion has light with darkness? 15 And what accord has Christ with Belial? Or what part has a believer with an unbeliever? 16 And what agreement has the temple of God with idols? For you* are the temple of the living God. As God has said: "I will dwell in them And walk among them. I will be their God, And they shall be My people." 17 Therefore "Come out from among them And be separate, says the Lord. Do not touch what is unclean, And I will receive you." II Corinthians 12
Do not and Come out from among them....nope, no ifs, ands, or buts there...sounds like a command to me!
Now if it was a caution, it would say something like, "it would be better for you if you did not become unequally yoked," but it doesn't say that, does it? Not to mention that even if it were "just" a caution from God, one should still never go there.
Once more...this time with feeling...we cannot twist God's Word to make something we want to do or have done, and is in direct defiance of His Word, less sinful or less disobedient in our own eyes.
_____________________________
~Kat
"...And God will wipe away every tear from their eyes...no more death, sorrow, nor crying."
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RE: Unequally Yolked - 6/24/2008 8:00:23 PM
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Elena1030
Posts: 681
Joined: 6/21/2006
From: Music City, USA
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Remember, folks, that Paul was addressing the Christians who were nonbelievers before marriage, married other nonbelievers, and became believers later....people whose spouses still had not accepted Christ.
In the case of vixir and other believers in similar situations, I think Paul would say not to marry someone you know is not a Christian. What do darkness and light have in common?
quote:
ORIGINAL: vixir
I'm not trying to her to disobey God. But what about the children?
vixir,
I hug you across the miles via the Spirit and this lovely Internet!!!  Good for you and praise the Lord for His patience and mercy and grace.....that you are seeking Him and seeking to obey Him from a place of love for Him and faith in Him. (Galatians 5:6b --- "What matters is faith working through love.")
So...what about the children?
Well, that's even more reason to pray for the salvation of the father of your child. 
God is all about salvation and about preserving families (among other things, of course). By virtue of the existence of your child, you are a family of sorts already.
The man may want to be involved in his child's life. And if so, praise God! Kids need fathers! =)
God still works miracles. And even greater than telling a mountain to fall into the ocean, is changing the human heart, which is stubborn like stone! ;o) He can change a human heart --- from being hostile to Him to being His.
So... pray for the father of your child to be saved, not because it will make things easier on you and your son... but because praying for him and his accepting Christ are for God's glory and for the good of this man who needs Christ... and for your child's wellbeing. (And being used by God to bring someone to Christ is an awesome blessing!  )
Remember: Nothing is impossible with God (Luke 1:37).
(Perhaps he will become a Christian and then if he wants to marry you and you want to accept his proposal, marry him!)
Also pray that you will SHOW Christ to this man and that you will SPEAK of Christ when He compels you to do so. You are His witness (Acts 1:8). Don't forget that.
Be strong and be of good courage, my sister. The Lord is near.
Let your gentleness be known ---> that reveals the Lord's existence and His presence.
He will never leave you nor forsake you.
 
_____________________________
"We're not odd, we're just over-expressive."—Helen in Howard's End
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RE: Unequally Yolked - 6/26/2008 7:27:53 PM
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vixir
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Joined: 2/27/2007
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It's really hard for me to speak to someone about God, when I get mocked or laughed at in the process. This is something that I need to pray about. If my sons father does react in a cruel manner when I talk to him about God, then I pray that God would give me the strength to let it roll right off my shoulders the best that I can. And this man is very stubborn. I have never doubted God's powers, but the way that this guy talks and acts, makes it hard for me to even fathom him becoming a believer in the future. I need more faith and a lot more courage and strength from God. I need to make things right...
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RE: Unequally Yolked - 6/26/2008 8:35:38 PM
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ChoirDJ
Posts: 464
Joined: 6/15/2006
From: So Cal
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quote:
I need more faith and a lot more courage and strength from God. I need to make things right...
vixir, what you need is to make a decision that you are going to trust God enough to obey His word instead of waiting around for a feeling. The straddling the fence isn't helping you. You're not just jeapordizing your son's salvation but your own as well because he could quite possibly destroy the bit of faith you have.
_____________________________
"Sin will take you further than you intended to go, keep you there longer than you intended to stay, and cost you more than you intended to spend." Got it?
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