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RE: Besiderself's Batty Belfry - 8/30/2008 10:31:26 AM
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humbleinspirit
Posts: 18075
Joined: 4/13/2005
From: Just Outside of Boston
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Good morning Shallbe, I will consider it. I guess a part of my reasoning is that I ask myself "do I really want to be involved with this person?" It seems that unless that answer is at least in the far majority of yes, that I tend not to contact at all.
BTW, if I (as a man) post an ad, should I not be waiting for a woman to reply as the man should make the first move as well?
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RE: Besiderself's Batty Belfry - 8/30/2008 6:23:27 PM
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ShallbeRebuilt
Posts: 2104
Joined: 11/8/2007
Status: online
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quote:
ORIGINAL: humbleinspirit
Good morning Shallbe, I will consider it. I guess a part of my reasoning is that I ask myself "do I really want to be involved with this person?" It seems that unless that answer is at least in the far majority of yes, that I tend not to contact at all.
BTW, if I (as a man) post an ad, should I not be waiting for a woman to reply as the man should make the first move as well?
So, are you saying that if you have posted an ad, you have already made the first move?
Hmmm. I'd have to think about that. Could be a different perspective I hadn't considered.
shallbe
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RE: Besiderself's Batty Belfry - 8/30/2008 10:22:55 PM
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humbleinspirit
Posts: 18075
Joined: 4/13/2005
From: Just Outside of Boston
Status: offline
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Yes, I have placed an ad at a couple of sites now. No real bites so far other than a few winks and icebreakers. Thats about it though.
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RE: Besiderself's Batty Belfry - 8/31/2008 11:56:11 PM
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FunBetty
Posts: 7181
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: Dr Pepper Country
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quote:
ORIGINAL: WhiteRoseBlessings
Wow! Those are some amazing classes!
3rd semester music history? Meeehhhh... that was awful for me. Music history in undergrad was a BEAR. "Explain your thoughts about the conductors in the 19th century..." blah blah...no true false, no multiple choice, not even matching! You either passed or failed miserably. Fortunately, I wrote really good term papers that saved my butt. Seriously don't know how I passed....
And thanks for clarifying the adieu part. I was like "what? woah?"
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Fun Betty's Therapy Centre and Cheesecake and Cookie Shoppe
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RE: Besiderself's Batty Belfry - 9/1/2008 8:38:04 AM
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ShallbeRebuilt
Posts: 2104
Joined: 11/8/2007
Status: online
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quote:
ORIGINAL: FunBetty
quote:
ORIGINAL: WhiteRoseBlessings
Wow! Those are some amazing classes!
3rd semester music history? Meeehhhh... that was awful for me. Music history in undergrad was a BEAR. "Explain your thoughts about the conductors in the 19th century..." blah blah...no true false, no multiple choice, not even matching! You either passed or failed miserably. Fortunately, I wrote really good term papers that saved my butt. Seriously don't know how I passed....
And thanks for clarifying the adieu part. I was like "what? woah?"
You apparently didn't have a good teacher, then. I've got an amazing teacher. He's young, but he's Christian (though his theology seems very interesting: can't wait to get him pinned down in a corner and find out someday) and an amazing guitar player...and he cares about the subject. His class is not easy, but you come out knowing the stuff pretty well.
He's working on his doctoral thesis in the sociology of music, and he's written a chording book published by Mel Bay here. Smart cookie. And he's kinda fun.
WBR, it's always fun when you get past most of the basic courses and get into your true major. I have a few basic courses left...well, I guess it's more than a few...French, American Gov't (I'll CLEP that over Christmas) New Testament (I'll take this online in Spring or summer, and a Life Science. That last is another that's got lots of obstacles, so we'll see how God works it out.
shallbe
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RE: Besiderself's Batty Belfry - 9/1/2008 9:37:29 AM
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FunBetty
Posts: 7181
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: Dr Pepper Country
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Well I had a good professor....just one of those that was smarter than a whip and had to cram all of the info in your head...the problem w/ my undergrad program was that we had 1 year of music literature, and only 1 year of theory. When you think about it, that's not a lot of time to get everything put in there.
The funny part is that between undergrad and grad I taught middle school music appreciation for a year. Six years later when I went to seminary I actually tested out of the music history!! (With no pre-test studying). I guess it all stuck. Somehow. Miraculously.
Glad to be done with that though...
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Fun Betty's Therapy Centre and Cheesecake and Cookie Shoppe
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RE: Besiderself's Batty Belfry - 9/3/2008 10:51:49 PM
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ShallbeRebuilt
Posts: 2104
Joined: 11/8/2007
Status: online
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Ok, Batty Peeps;
WARNING: This is a whiny-bat post. I got to thinking about this today. It started out being kinda funny, but then it turned into…well, something else. But I’ve noticed that a lot of us are encouraged when we find out that others feel the same way we do, so I’m posting this in the hopes that 1) you will be encouraged and 2) you will work hard to believe I am not as negative IRL as I sound in this post! And maybe you’ll have something to add to the story, and it will help you deal with it; or maybe you’ll have something to add that will make the story brighter! That would be awesome!
The Rock In My Shoe
The Christian life is often described as “walking with Jesus” or “walking in the light” or some such jargon. In fact, life is quite often described as a “walk” even in secular jargon.
In the walk of life, singleness is a rock in my hiking boot.
It’s been there for a long, long time.
I’ve thanked God repeatedly that it doesn’t feel as bad as at first when I first started. The very first day of this hike, and for weeks afterward, I felt like my insides had been ripped out of my skin so that no one could see how bad I was hurting because my skin looked fine, but from the inside I felt raw and bleeding all the time.
The rules of the hike are that you can’t stop. Once you start, you just have to keep going. So that’s what I did.
At first I didn’t much notice the rock in my boot because I was hurting so bad elsewhere. Thankfully much of that other pain has subsided. I knew it would…everyone told me it would. They said I’d get used to the hike. And I have.
But as the other aches and pains subsided, I began to notice the rock in my boot. It really hurts!
At first I decided that hey, this was a rock that Jesus Himself had chosen for me. I should appreciate it. I should be thankful for it. It was going to make me into a new, better Christian. Some of the rough edges were going to wear off. And I was pretty sure that Jesus would take the rock away soon. I walked along and tried to keep my gait steady and my head high. I even sang along the road to keep my spirits up, and I told others I was glad to be suffering for the Lord. I claimed I wouldn’t want it any other way.
Some way down the road I realized that the rock was not going away. Jesus hadn’t taken it, and I couldn’t sit down to get it out of my boot. I tried thanking Him for it, but I could tell it was getting worse, not better.
What was discouraging was the limping. I thought I’d get better at hiking as I went along, but instead I began to favor the foot and stumble and sometimes lose my footing. I couldn’t concentrate on the path nearly so well…I kept thinking about how my foot was hurting.
I kept walking, though. I even kept worshipping. But the rock in my boot was starting to make take a lot of attention. So I tried looking forward to the new and lofty heights I would be reaching soon. That helped, for awhile. But the more it hurt, the more my eyes left the heights and just concentrated on the path.
When the pain would get real bad, I tried going back to my old ways. I tried to sing. I tried to thank God for the pain. People kept telling me I was just paying too much attention to this one small problem. They encouraged me to stop and smell the roses, look at the beautiful trees and rock formations along the path. But all I could think about was finding a place to stop so I could take the shoe off and get rid of the rock.
Miserably I mentioned to others my wish to get rid of the rock. At first they were sympathetic and would pray for me and encourage me. They would listen to me and sometimes even let me lean on them for awhile along the path. After a time they would simply say “I’ll pray for you.” Indeed, some even seemed surprised that I would desire to get rid of the rock! “You’re doing so well!” they comment, “you don’t have a problem!” Others patted me on the head and said “God will take care of you.”
Sometimes people walk past me as I stumble and struggle along the rocky path. I recognize them, because they were partners with me on the path. They had rocks in their shoes, too…but they are fine now! They are holding hands with others, and joyfully perambulating past me. I’m happy for them. When I ask them how they got the rock out of their boot, they glowingly say “just wait…God will take the rock out of your shoe, too…and when He does, it will be amazing!”
I’ve noticed lately that some parts of my foot have started to go numb. Unfortunately it makes me unable to feel the rocks under my feet and take good steps. I can hardly think of anything but the rock in my boot any more. There’s so much more that needs attention, but the agony at that one spot makes me have to really fight to turn my attention elsewhere.
Those around me now don’t want to hear about the rock in my boot. I’ve learned to keep mum about it. I see others on the path that look like they are hurting, too, but I can barely get myself up the mountain: if I tried to help them it would just make it worse for us both. So I keep my eyes on the path.
I’ve tried to keep my eyes on Jesus, but He’s so far ahead now that I can’t see Him. I’ve prayed and prayed, asking for the rock to be taken out of my shoe. I guess He wants it there for some reason. I can’t be glad or thankful about it anymore. Maybe He’s never going to take it away. Maybe it’s gonna keep on hurting and hurting.
It doesn’t really keep me from walking the path. I’m even able to sometimes laugh at my clumsy efforts to walk. It just makes walking it really painful and hard.
I’ve heard tell that at the end of the path is a beautiful garden. There will be a place to sit down and take my boot off, and I’ll never have to walk when it hurts any more. I hope that’s true.
shallbe
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RE: Besiderself's Batty Belfry - 9/4/2008 1:20:14 AM
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WaitingforBoaz
Posts: 3976
Joined: 2/11/2008
Status: offline
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{{{{{{{{{{Esther}}}}}}}}}}
What a beautifully written parable. So sad, but so true I'm afraid.
I am so glad that you do feel free to share your feelings on here. There are some that say that they are tired of the whining, but what they do not understand many times, is that we are so busy being everything to everyone, so busy being strong, so busy trying not to look like we feel, that the only place we can share is here. Really, all in all there is not a whole lot of whining going on. IMO
I am just now, in the last few months, beginning to feel the rock in my own boot. Like you said, the pain was everywhere before, so I did not even know the rock was there.
I am so lonely lately, but not just that, I am so scared. Scared that I will not be able to do all of this on my own. Parenting teens is the most daunting task. I am not doing very well so far.  I could go on, but if I need to, I'll go whine in my own thread. 
Esther, I really wish we could just sit down over a cup of Joe and talk.
Oh, and in spite of the pain, I know, that you know, that all the trusting and believing and hoping, was not and is not in vain. Don't Let Go!!!!
Love and Hugs,
~Blessings
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"Nearly all men can stand adversity, but if you want to test a mans character, give him power" - Abraham Lincoln
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RE: Besiderself's Batty Belfry - 9/4/2008 7:18:34 AM
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.Pammy
Posts: 3951
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: PA, USA
Status: offline
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I don't know why this is, I really don't, but I've just never felt that rock. So as much as I sympathize and hurt for you, it would be arrogant to say I fully understand. Please believe, though, that you both are ever in my prayers.
The only terrible longing I've ever experienced has been many years ago for a particular person, which isn't the same thing. So at least I can relate to the pain in a way. Oh, I do remember that pain! Thank God it did go away (although of course at the time, I didn't think it ever would)!
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Pam
"Sweet-talkers win at singles' bars and in politics ... often with similar outcomes for the listener."
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RE: Besiderself's Batty Belfry - 9/4/2008 9:48:46 AM
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ShallbeRebuilt
Posts: 2104
Joined: 11/8/2007
Status: online
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quote:
ORIGINAL: WaitingforBoaz
{{{{{{{{{{Esther}}}}}}}}}}
I am just now, in the last few months, beginning to feel the rock in my own boot. Like you said, the pain was everywhere before, so I did not even know the rock was there.
I am so lonely lately, but not just that, I am so scared. Scared that I will not be able to do all of this on my own. Parenting teens is the most daunting task. I am not doing very well so far. I could go on, but if I need to, I'll go whine in my own thread.
Esther, I really wish we could just sit down over a cup of Joe and talk.
Oh, and in spite of the pain, I know, that you know, that all the trusting and believing and hoping, was not and is not in vain. Don't Let Go!!!!
Love and Hugs,
~Blessings
Nadine;
The fear I know very, very well. I have managed to get two to teenage and past without too much mishap. I'm working on one and have one to go.
I see the pain caused in their lives from not having a dad. I thought God cared about that sort of thing. I thought that families were special to Him, so I thought he would bring a daddy to my kids: but He hasn't and doesn't seem worried about the huge gaps I see in their lives because of a lack of a Dad. People told me that God would be their daddy, but other than financial provision (for which I am truly grateful) I haven't really seen that they have benefited in the same way as having a real daddy.
Now I look forward in my life and I'm not afraid of raising my children as much. What I fear now is being alone. I realize that my kids are all going to grow up (this is a good thing!) find lives and loves of their own (this is also a good thing!) and go off to serve God.
Without me.
And I will not have anyone around who cares what the heck I am doing today anymore.
I mean, sure, I'll still be their mom and they'll love me. But they won't be around, and I won't be able to share my days, my joys and my heartaches with them any more. They'll have loves of their own and will cease to understand my loneliness.
It's very frightening for me. I'm trying very hard to be ok with it...I mean, this is just the next stage of life, right? I should be glad. Lots of people are glad when their kids move out. I should be looking for all the good things that God is going to do in and through me once I no longer have the kids around. I'm supposed to be looking forward to seeing them grow and become the wonderful young adults I know they are going to be. And I am. But I'm also seeing the other side of it.
I'm also worried about financial provision for lots of reaons. No knight in shining armor to come and help support me once the money is gone is quite daunting.
And as far as having a cup of Joe...you've got my phone number. Just give me a call!
.Pammy;
thanks for being honest about not knowing how we feel. It's ok, and we don't expect you to...we're both very glad you've never had the "amputation" that we've experienced, and hope you never have to experience it, either.
And we are thankful that we are in your prayers. Very much so.
shallbe
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RE: Besiderself's Batty Belfry - 9/4/2008 1:24:45 PM
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AngelInWaiting1983
Posts: 10842
Joined: 6/8/2007
From: South Carolina
Status: online
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{{{Esther & Nadine}}}
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Reflecting with Terri
Dance like no one is watching. If they are, who cares!
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RE: Besiderself's Batty Belfry - 9/6/2008 10:30:56 AM
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ShallbeRebuilt
Posts: 2104
Joined: 11/8/2007
Status: online
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Two Letters
I have in my possession two very precious letters. Today I will tell you about one. In a few more weeks, I’ll finish the story with the other.
28 years ago today, in a little town in extreme Southeastern New Mexico in a small Baptist church my life changed forever.
I married my best friend.
I’ve mentioned elsewhere the fact that he asked me to marry him on our first date. Part of that story is that unbeknownst to me, he knew he wanted to marry me before we even had a first date.
MJJ and I grew up a block from one another. He had three sisters and I have one younger brother, so I spent a lot of time playing at his house with his sisters. I paid little or no attention to him, as he was 4 years older than I.
When he graduated from high school, his family also moved away. But he stayed in touch with everyone in our town: after all, he’d grown up here. He had made many friends in the adult population, and when he had a break from college, he would often drive down to our town and visit with them.
One of these times, he showed up at our home. It was the summer before I started my senior year, I think…it’s been a long time, so the exact chronology is a little fuzzy. He arrived in the late afternoon, but before my parents came home from work. He said he was there to visit my parents, and so of course I had to carry on polite conversation until they arrived. As we talked, we found that we held many opinions and thoughts in common! That night after supper, we stayed up talking until far into the night.
I was later to learn that on his way back to college the next day, he was thinking about us and realized that I was the sort of woman he wanted to marry. He told me much later that when he realized it he was shaking so hard he had to pull over to the side of the road!
However, I was still in high school. He and his best friend had made pacts with one another that they would not date high schoolers. So that was that. Nevertheless we kept up an occasional communication, and in the spring he came back for another visit. He did not mention his interest to me at all, and although I had slight hopes, I had no inkling of his interest at all.
I graduated in May, and was all ready to attend college in the fall. I had had one serious boyfriend, but since we got together pretty much simply because no one else would have either one of us, I figured no one would ever want me. So when MJJ called me about a month after I graduated and asked me out, I literally thought nothing of it: my thoughts were that his mother had put him up to it, perhaps thinking that since I was so naïve and about to go off to college I might need some experience (I know it’s silly, but honestly that’s what I thought).
We went out. Since the nearest city where one could have a real “date” was an hour away, we had lots of time in the car to talk. On the way back, I don’t remember how the subject came up—I think we were talking about our futures—he said something like “Or you could just marry me and that would take care of that problem…”—and since the context was just that we were being silly, I laughed and said no, I needed to go to school. I didn’t think he meant it at all.
At the end of the date, he didn’t try to kiss me in the usual way. He just took my hand and kissed it.
I didn’t wash the back of my hand for a week!
I wrote him a thank you note for the date, but while I very much wanted to have a relationship with this guy, I still couldn’t believe he really cared about me. Much later I received a letter from him. In it was the following paragraph…
“I guess I have a confession to make. Doggone you, you really ought to be shot, probably deserve it, too. Confession is this: ever since we went out, I miss you and I kind of wish you had said ‘yes’. I’d have been royally stuck, and not minding it a bit, and that scares me, not you, but the fact that I mean everything I just said and I’ve been putting a great deal of thought into it. I think maybe it’s a very good thing that you want to get an education before anything else. There now, I got all that out, I wasn’t really sure that I could.”
…The letter is dated Aug 24, 1978. We were married September 6th, 1980.
shallbe
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RE: Besiderself's Batty Belfry - 9/6/2008 1:08:47 PM
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ShallbeRebuilt
Posts: 2104
Joined: 11/8/2007
Status: online
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Thank you for reading. Normally I don't commemorate the day so blatantly, but there's a reason this year...
btw, I forgot to post a song.
Chanson du jour
shallbe
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RE: Besiderself's Batty Belfry - 9/6/2008 2:28:15 PM
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AngelInWaiting1983
Posts: 10842
Joined: 6/8/2007
From: South Carolina
Status: online
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(((Esther)))
That is a beautiful story. I'm sure he is looking down on you today and smiling.
_____________________________
Reflecting with Terri
Dance like no one is watching. If they are, who cares!
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