Your advice to a single man (Full Version)

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PreserveWildlife -> Your advice to a single man (5/31/2008 7:14:20 PM)

Which bit of advice would you give to a single man considering a relationship?

1. Find someone your really attracted to and compatible with and then pursue a relationship
2. Find someone you're compatible with and largely attracted to but not butterflies
3. Find someone you get along with and you enjoy them and find elements of them that are attractive
4. Find someone you are compatible with and wait for that bond to develop
5. Find someone of equal attractiveness as you are and get along with

This isn't for me or for any friends but it is something I've been thinking about and I am curious to learn how you would advise a man.



AlwaysR8chel -> RE: Your advice to a single man (5/31/2008 7:19:16 PM)

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........ Hello Neil, good to see you!



What would I say???

Do what you normally do in life... get out there...

You will, someday, run across someone doing the same thing....

..... and if she takes your breath away?

Marry her.


If she seems like a cool chic whom you enjoy?

Enjoy her.


God works out the details.... too much thinking can make potential relationships too hard....

..... just my thoughts.



BugLady -> RE: Your advice to a single man (5/31/2008 10:12:12 PM)

My response is based upon the presumption there is someone under consideration for the relationship, rather than finding someone who fits into one of your options listed. That's because your list seems too close to shopping for a car, for my liking. So, I say none of the above to this hypothetical single man. Just do it. Let the chips fall where they may.



woodwind228 -> RE: Your advice to a single man (5/31/2008 10:46:09 PM)

Well, I'd say to look at their fruit to determine if they are truly a christian and to see where they are in their walk with God. THEN, and only then, consider whether or not to pursue a relationship. You must be equally yoked above all else. Everything else will fall into place if it's the person God has chosen for you.



shemaromans -> RE: Your advice to a single man (6/1/2008 12:31:10 AM)

It probably depends upon what interests the man, right?
Does he prefer:
* intellect?
* a passion for the underpriveleged?
* looks?
* a sense of humor?
* a conglomeration of the above (and those omitted)?

I would advise men to have an idea of what they want--not just in a woman, but also out of life. A man with a clear understanding of their direction should logically understand better what approach to take. (The added bonus is that lots of women find such men irresistible)



jlp1 -> RE: Your advice to a single man (6/1/2008 9:43:27 AM)

quote:

1. Find someone your really attracted to and compatible with and then pursue a relationship
2. Find someone you're compatible with and largely attracted to but not butterflies
3. Find someone you get along with and you enjoy them and find elements of them that are attractive
4. Find someone you are compatible with and wait for that bond to develop
5. Find someone of equal attractiveness as you are and get along with


I'm thinking of 5 different women
1. One who's beautiful (takes your breath away) and is a good fit
2. Someones who is a good fit and cute but no sparks
3. A good person, good heart but not so attracted to
4. A good fit socially in every way (on paper you look good together) but no feelings at all
5. your attracted to her she's attracted to you and you fit (safety)

All seam to be potential mates and if they posses good qualities and if all are in alignment with God, I say go for the one who takes your breath away (not just with looks but with her uniqueness that touches you).



Prairiehiker -> RE: Your advice to a single man (6/1/2008 10:31:54 AM)

I honestly believe that you have to find someone whom you click with...ya know, someone you can talk to for hours and the time just pass by. Find a Christian woman whom you have that type of connection with, and pursue it. Otherwise, it'd be like a chore relating to that person if you don't' have that "chemistry" or "spark". That's all I look for. Christian, responsible, active and there's chemistry/spark. All else, I can adjust to.



WaitingforBoaz -> RE: Your advice to a single man (6/2/2008 12:12:42 AM)

Neil,
I like the beginning of 1-5;

Find someone......then talk to her. Then wait and see what God does. He's full of wonderful surprises when we don't over-think things, or get in His way.

~Blessings~



Cloak -> RE: Your advice to a single man (6/2/2008 8:54:11 AM)

I believe the right relationship comes along and the one which God designed for us to have is when our heart and mind are both working together in sync. So 1st it starts in the mind and then it goes right to the heart.



Elena1030 -> RE: Your advice to a single man (6/2/2008 12:49:37 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: shemaromans

It probably depends upon what interests the man, right?
Does he prefer:
* intellect?
* a passion for the underpriveleged?
* looks?
* a sense of humor?
* a conglomeration of the above (and those omitted)?

I would advise men to have an idea of what they want----not just in a woman, but also out of life. A man with a clear understanding of his direction should logically understand better what approach to take. (The added bonus is that lots of women find such men irresistible.)


Ditto.

And seems most reasonable to who Neil is, as well. =)

And triple Amens to the bolded part.


And then meet women.

And choose one. [:D]



4IMPersuaded -> RE: Your advice to a single man (6/4/2008 3:45:14 PM)

My dh (then df), told the youth group when asked why he decided to ask me to marry him... "don't look for the girl you can live with, marry the one you can't live without."

Don't settle, sugar. You would be doing yourself and her a disservice. Wait for God to bring you "the one"-- she may be right under your nose.

Blessings!



rgod -> RE: Your advice to a single man (6/4/2008 7:09:17 PM)

quote:

My dh (then df), told the youth group when asked why he decided to ask me to marry him... "don't look for the girl you can live with, marry the one you can't live without."

Don't settle, sugar. You would be doing yourself and her a disservice. Wait for God to bring you "the one"-- she may be right under your nose.

Blessings!


I second this! No woman wants to feel like you've settled for her.



ebony101 -> RE: Your advice to a single man (6/5/2008 2:43:43 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: 4IMPersuaded

My dh (then df), told the youth group when asked why he decided to ask me to marry him... "don't look for the girl you can live with, marry the one you can't live without."

Don't settle, sugar. You would be doing yourself and her a disservice. Wait for God to bring you "the one"-- she may be right under your nose.




I agree. Let God work out the fine details. You'll be amazed at the results.



stellaluna -> RE: Your advice to a single man (6/5/2008 9:19:37 AM)

After reading too many really disappointing posts by other single men on this site, let me offer one piece of advice to you:

Don't judge a book by its cover.

Don't fall into the trap of "this is what I want, it's my preference, God will give me this, this is just how men are" etc. That's a surefire way to stay single for a loooooooooong time and apparently become bitter in the process. Just be open to all the women you meet. Be polite. Be respectful. Listen to what she has to say. Neither be enamored nor rejecting of her hair color, or her clothes, or her job, or her height, or whatever else men judge women on. Just pray and be open to meeting a lot of different kinds of people and be open to God putting women in your path--women that may end up being friends, if not THE ONE. Please be yourself and relax!



freakofnature -> RE: Your advice to a single man (6/5/2008 3:38:40 PM)

quote:

PreserveWildlife: Which bit of advice would you give to a single man considering a relationship?


Option 6: Go hunting.



BugLady -> RE: Your advice to a single man (6/5/2008 6:08:26 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: stellaluna

After reading too many really disappointing posts by other single men on this site, let me offer one piece of advice to you:

Don't judge a book by its cover.

Don't fall into the trap of "this is what I want, it's my preference, God will give me this, this is just how men are" etc. That's a surefire way to stay single for a loooooooooong time and apparently become bitter in the process. Just be open to all the women you meet. Be polite. Be respectful. Listen to what she has to say. Neither be enamored nor rejecting of her hair color, or her clothes, or her job, or her height, or whatever else men judge women on. Just pray and be open to meeting a lot of different kinds of people and be open to God putting women in your path--women that may end up being friends, if not THE ONE. Please be yourself and relax!


Such wisdom ^^. Instead of looking for reasons to eliminate, look for reasons to accept.



Cloak -> RE: Your advice to a single man (6/5/2008 8:13:03 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: ebony101

quote:

ORIGINAL: 4IMPersuaded

My dh (then df), told the youth group when asked why he decided to ask me to marry him... "don't look for the girl you can live with, marry the one you can't live without."

Don't settle, sugar. You would be doing yourself and her a disservice. Wait for God to bring you "the one"-- she may be right under your nose.




I agree. Let God work out the fine details. You'll be amazed at the results.



Amen & Awesome tip!



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