|
thisguy84 -> She Wants Out (6/5/2008 10:41:02 AM)
|
My marriage is in trouble. My wife and I have been married 9 months and about two months ago, she dropped a bombshell on me. She said that she no longer loves me and that she wants out of the marriage. According to her, the marriage was a mistake and should've never had happened. She claims to have felt pressured into getting married because that was the natural thing to do when you've been in a relationship as long as we had. To illustrate that a little better, you should know we dated for two years prior to becoming engaged and were great friends before that. She claims that she’s remained faithful to me, in the physical sense but has come clean that she has opened up emotionally with someone else. That relationship has ended, but according to her it had been going on since after we had gotten engaged. Some more background info, Right before the engagement I was offered a place on first shift at my job, rather than second which is what she also worked at the time. Career wise it was better for me, and monetarily it would end up being more beneficial for both of us once we were married. I discussed it with her before I made the move and she supported it a 100%. Well, looking back on it, I should never have made the move. We were both students at the time and once we were married there was no way that either one of us would be able to juggle a full time school schedule and a full time work schedule. So, we planned that she would be the student and work sparingly and I would concentrate all my time into working and making sure the bills got paid, which at first worked. I was pulling between 50-60 hours a week, plus handling all the household chores, and she was going to school full time. Due to my work schedule, I had to be up at 4:00 am every morning, Monday through Saturday, which meant that I typically was in bed by 9:30-10:00pm. My wife however is a night owl and usually remains awake until the time I'm getting ready for work. Anyways, she was going out with friends of ours almost every night of the week while I was in bed asleep or staying up playing computer games all night. I knew about her going out, because I told her, if I was asleep, then she didn't have to sit around the house just because I wasn't able to go. Now to clarify, she wasn't going out clubbing or anything like that. They would all go catch a midnight flick or play card games. So, as time rolled on, I eventually discovered that she had stopped going to class and had promptly failed out of school. You cannot believe how irate I was. I had given up my free time with my friends, and time with her, so she could fully concentrate on her studies and she pulls a stunt like that. I should also point out that my wife suffers from severe depression and does not take medication for it. Since she expressed her wanting to leave and end the marriage, I got her to start going to therapy first and foremost for her depression. She's been going, but still seems content on leaving. I've prayed that God would give me patience and allow me to continue to uphold my husbandly duties. I told her, that I made a commitment before god and my family that I wouldn't leave her or this marriage unless God had called me home. I intend to keep fighting for it, but it’s been a rough, rough time. Currently we are both part time students now ((a class a piece)), but I'm still working ((only about 40 hours now)) and she works maybe 16 hours a week. We have more time together, but she won't talk to me unless I bring up our situation, in which case she cries and continues to apologize for hurting me and getting me into this mess. I don't know what to do.
|
|
|
|