RE: Military wives support (Full Version)

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IAMJulie -> RE: Military wives support (8/24/2008 11:38:58 PM)

Thanks. I think I needed to hear someone confirm my thoughts. Poor thing does look for her Daddy everywhere. Finds him in the strangest places too, like the motorcyclist we saw on the highway the other day and Walmart. I guess you can find everything you need there. [&:]

Right after I posted the first post about the plug I caught my 4 year old sucking his thumb - he's NEVER sucked his thumb EVER! Then as I was thinking about editing my post Zion gagged herself with a plastic spoon she was playing with and actually THREW UP. I was nursing Gideon, of course, so I had to pop him off to clean it up and boy was he mad! Screamed the whole time. *sigh* They are in bed now. [:D] I'm going to make myself a cup of tea and think about tapping into my secret goodie stash.



_Cinderella_ -> RE: Military wives support (8/25/2008 12:40:12 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: IAMJulie

I'm going to make myself a cup of tea and think about tapping into my secret goodie stash.


This sounds like a good idea. :)



peculiar_lady2 -> RE: Military wives support (8/25/2008 1:15:18 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: _Cinderella_

quote:

ORIGINAL: IAMJulie

I'm going to make myself a cup of tea and think about tapping into my secret goodie stash.


This sounds like a good idea. :)

yes it does!!!



IAMJulie -> RE: Military wives support (8/25/2008 1:23:03 AM)

Ahh, yes I feel much better now. A nice hot cup of orange tea and an orange cupcake (Hostess - hubby mails them to me when he travels because they don't sell them in WA anymore, what a guy!).



ezri -> RE: Military wives support (8/25/2008 6:25:01 PM)

others have already said indulge her. I'd put it another way...

Don't punish yourself!

Choose your battles carefully.




(someone remind me I said that later on okay.)

Monday gets an A-. My #3 son did manage to find himself down for two naps. He has had a 5 yo day. He ran through the kitchen while I was at college and fell and scraped his knee. My 14.5yo son said no blood no foul. #3 son pitched a screaming fit for a bandaid which was *ahem* locked in my room. 14.5yo son took #3 son by ankles and dragged him to his bedroom then told him he could get in the bed himself or he'd pick him up and put him there. #3 son decided that he'd get in the bed himself.

I told 14.5yo son (after the fact) that he'd done well. If #3 son was "hurt" that badly then he needed to lay down and put his feet up. [;)]

I will make sure there are bandaids available from now on. [8|]

~e



peculiar_lady2 -> RE: Military wives support (8/25/2008 7:09:43 PM)


quote:

ORIGINAL: ezri

others have already said indulge her. I'd put it another way...

Don't punish yourself!

Choose your battles carefully.




(someone remind me I said that later on okay.)

~e

sure thing....will do!!!

quote:

I will make sure there are bandaids available from now on.

Paul freaks out about bandaids...or rather, the kids using them too much (in his opinion). I asked him finally how much he thinks bandaids are...I mean, seriously, we buy them in bulk at the dollar store...cheap fix if it makes them feel better, even if they don't necessarily "need" it to cover a scrape. He is slowly coming around to my thinking. I keep some bigger ones in the first aid kit for real needs, but thew small cheap ones I don't mind them using. (Usually we get things like, Hannah scrapes her knee so Emma thinks she needs a bandaid too...and of course Jack follows whatever Emma does...lol)



ezri -> RE: Military wives support (8/25/2008 7:16:16 PM)

we usually only do bandaids for bleeding boo boos- this was a minor scrape and not bleeding. I'd have told him to put on his big boy scivvies and get over it myself. BUT as 14.5yo is here and in charge those hours it'd be one of those battles that he really shouldn't have to fight- give the silly 5yo 10yo boy a bandaid then put him on the couch.

10yo son #3 will be 11 chronologically in november and on a good day really is =closer to 7 or 8. He is genuinely developmentally delayed

~e



IAMJulie -> RE: Military wives support (8/26/2008 12:06:29 AM)

Ezri, do you have a local support group regarding your children with special needs? My sister works for her county's ARC and has been in charge of mentor family's, sib shops, Parent to Parent, that sort of thing. I've had the pleasure of helping out with some of the events that she's put on.

Today I signed us up at the local Y. I was told that they have a 50% discount for military families. Well, it turns out they only have that arrangement with the local base, which is not our parent command, and don't do it for others. Bummer. :( But at least they do waive the sign up fees for all military families so at least I saved $100 there. Now I'm trying to figure out their class schedule and registration system. I think I need at least two college degrees for this.

As for bandaids, my Gabe was terrified of them for a long time. Even if he needed one he would scream and cry if I tried to put one on. The couple of times that I've put them on Zion she just peels them off in a few minutes. Weirdos.



ezri -> RE: Military wives support (8/26/2008 10:24:18 AM)

We have the church, and the home school support group. We are an hour from the nearest actual base/post.(sorry, I grew up on navy bases so I label them all thus.)

Honey is back on the Pre-Deployment Site Survey team... again. I figure that will probably change a few more times before they actually get on the plane to go. (9 more days)

Special needs children-

#3 son. We were blessed by God thru the miracle of adoption. #3 son came to us at age 5 with a tackle box full of meds and a list of acronyms as long as my left arm. Night Terrors, Depression, Anxiety disorder, ADHD, ODD... being DXed with Dysthimia(chronic mild depression) myself years ago and being on meds and off meds for depression I looked at this 5yo who had been in "care" since he was 1.5yo and had 6 different foster parents and decided we were going to wean off the meds. ALL the meds. We did and underneath was a little boy.

Yes, hyper- he had come through 5 years with little or no constant boundaries and had learned to "just do it"
Yes, disobedient- again, no consistent parenting.

as for the depression & anxiety... I had a bout where they increased my depression meds and it had caused me to start having panic attacks. If you read the side affects for the med I was taking anxiety was one of those listed. Even more crazy- depression is one of the side affects listed on the anxiety med they gave me. So I prayed that was the issue for this little boy too. We weaned back and what do you know, he was fine without them... better with out them.

night terrors. Again the med they had him on for that had depression as a side so we gave that up. I would say those are associated with stress and security for him. he still has them from time to time but usually only when something major is happening.

I knew he was a young 5 when he came to us. His elder biological sister fostered this behavior by carryin' him around (even at age 5) on her hip like a baby. It was a sad situation.

five years later: he has made progress each year. but not a full years progress. I'd say about a half year. So that'd put him at 7.5yo. A girlfriend asked me once how old he was back in may. I asked her how old she thought he was. Her answer? "I'd say 7 or 8" MmmHmmm.

#4 son is 18 months younger than #3 son, he has mild Cerebral Palsy. He is 9--- he has his own special needs but when I stand them side by side #3 son brings more concern.

We work with #3 son by maintaining strong boundaries with natural consequences, avoiding "toxic" people(folks that fail to understand his need for the boundaries and consequences and allow themselves to be manipulated by him), Keeping a "schedule" of sorts so he knows what is next.

I am currently trying to be more positive. I have been major league stressed myself and had just as soon look at him and snap that he made his bed he has to sleep in it than try to point out the good choice he missed out on making.

I could go on for hours but I am gonna stop now.

~e



IAMJulie -> RE: Military wives support (8/26/2008 2:52:24 PM)

Ezri, we live an hour away from BASE as well. "Post" was a new word for me that I learned through friends who are stationed at Ft. Lewis nearby. We, however, are also Navy (though now we're also Army, it's weird) so I always say "base", too.

Are you familiar with the ARC? I put the link in my previous post. You may get good support from your others sources but like you said, there's something about being around people who understand and are not "toxic". My sister's ARC has things like Lego Club and other activities where the kids can be around others like them and not feel misunderstood or judged. They also put on activities for siblings and, of course, parents. Just a thought.

My parents were foster parents when I was young and we adopted my younger brother through the foster system. He has Fetal Alcohol Syndrome. My parents, sadly, were the type to use medications for everything. Meds to make him calm during the day, meds to make him sleep at night, meds for this, meds for that. Never, ever teaching him how to deal with the symptoms of FAS or how to be a responsible adult. I wish they had been more like you and handled him differently. Anyway, he just turned 25. Love him dearly but boy can he be a challenge to be around sometimes.



peculiar_lady2 -> RE: Military wives support (8/26/2008 4:40:26 PM)

quote:

Ezri, we live an hour away from BASE as well. "Post" was a new word for me that I learned through friends who are stationed at Ft. Lewis nearby. We, however, are also Navy (though now we're also Army, it's weird) so I always say "base", too.

I say both because we are Army so of course Post, but we lived near an Air Force Base in Germany that we went to often (cause our post was teeny tiny). So anyway, I say both.



IAMJulie -> RE: Military wives support (8/27/2008 5:29:31 PM)

How often do you guys send care packages and letters? Rob has been gone almost a month and I've only sent one package and no letters. I do e-mail sometimes and we get to talk daily so far. Part of me feels that is enough and part of me feels guilty for not getting more in the actual mail.



peculiar_lady2 -> RE: Military wives support (8/27/2008 5:34:58 PM)

quote:

How often do you guys send care packages and letters?

I was not able to send much....they moved four (?I think?) times before Christmas (left the week before thanksgiving)...then the last six months I didn't have an address for him at all. So we only sent a fraction of what I wanted to send while he was gone. He did not have good communication at all....all three VTC's were canceled for one reason or another, he couldn't get online much or to a phone much...it wasn't uncommon to go 4-6 weeks without hearing from him....longest was two months I think.



Harvie -> RE: Military wives support (8/27/2008 6:31:00 PM)

OMG! OMG! OMG! OMG!

My husband just called from work to tell me he is being sent back in a few weeks for his FIFTH tour of flying the not-so-friendly skies over Iraq with the USAF. For those of you keeping track, yes he did JUST get back in July (last month) ... and now he's heading over again for another three months. HE JUST GOT BACK FROM IRAQ!!!!!!

He called me from work just a few minutes ago -- to let me know that he'll be replacing another pilot who is unable to go for the Fall Deployment. I know I am being selfish -- but he just got home and I don't want him to leave again for months, ya know?

I wanted to go biking with him this fall.
I wanted to go to the County Fair with him this fall.
I wanted to go to the coast with him this fall. We had plans.
We had things on our calendar.
We had hopes and dreams for enjoying cooler weather.
Heck, I am STILL waiting for the military to pay us everything they owe us from his LAST deployment!!!

AAAAAUUUUUGGGGGGHHHHHH!

(sigh)



Harvie -> RE: Military wives support (8/27/2008 6:32:11 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: IAMJulie

How often do you guys send care packages and letters? Rob has been gone almost a month and I've only sent one package and no letters. I do e-mail sometimes and we get to talk daily so far. Part of me feels that is enough and part of me feels guilty for not getting more in the actual mail.


I sent 7 cards and 1-2 packages each week.



peculiar_lady2 -> RE: Military wives support (8/27/2008 6:52:24 PM)

well, I guess, welcome back Harvie....didn't expect to see you so soon....so sorry.



ezri -> RE: Military wives support (8/27/2008 8:31:51 PM)

((((Harvie&Honey)))))



IAMJulie -> RE: Military wives support (8/29/2008 2:10:49 AM)

Man, Harvie, I'm sorry. I suppose it's little consolation that it's "only" 3 months. What a bummer.

And, YIKES, Harvey! Seriously, 7 cards and 1-2 packages a WEEK! OK, I officially feel terrible. Before when he was on subs we couldn't communicate that much. I'd write a little on a letter each night and then mail a bunch of them around mail drop time. We only sent packages once per/deployment because that was all we were allowed. Back then I didn't have kids so I probably could have put together a letter a day and a package a week but not now. I hope hubby doesn't feel too bad.



peculiar_lady2 -> RE: Military wives support (8/29/2008 2:31:02 AM)

quote:

And, YIKES, Harvey! Seriously, 7 cards and 1-2 packages a WEEK! OK, I officially feel terrible.

I just want to point out that Harvie doesn't have kids to occupy as much of her time....cats, she has plenty of, but not kids. It works for her and her schedule and her man. If it doesn't work for you and your situation then don't feel bad about it. (believe me, I had to get over that one when we went six months with NO address for hubby...when everyone else seemed to have an address. He sent me seven address in that time and none of them were right. Don't measure yourself up by others standards, just do what YOU can and don't fret over it.)



BlessedMamaofmany -> RE: Military wives support (8/29/2008 7:21:28 AM)

Sarah is right julie. I have mailed my man only a couple of boxes. The girls draw tons of pics and we drop those in the mail every so often...but I just don't have the time to be at the po every other day kwim? Don't feel bad...
Harvie. I.am.sorry. That SUCKS. I'd say welcome back...but I don't wanna! You shouldn't have to be back so soon. [&o]

Well. They're finally talking of changing hubby's R&R from april to possibly sometime in Jan. Why asks you?....well. The deployment is "officially" 12 months now instead of 15. WOOT!
Sandy



ezri -> RE: Military wives support (8/29/2008 10:33:24 AM)


Sandy- we'll pray that stays changed from 15 to 12 months! I have been around the service long enough to know Uncle Sam is a fickle lover. [&o] [>:] [:'(] [:@]

Mine leaves Wednesday for the Pre-Deploy site survey. He will be In Country for 10 days then back home for 7 before they sign him in.

He is excited about qualifying on the actual weapon he will be assigned come Tuesday morning too. Yeah- they issued him his holster back almost a month ago and he had to take it out of the packaging and strap it on and do that "grunting" man thing. LOL!

I need to go make my breakfast and find out what he is up to- he said he was going to work out on the elliptical trainer over an hour ago and I have yet to see his sweaty body come into the room for the shower that follows such a workout.

~e



IAMJulie -> RE: Military wives support (8/29/2008 10:30:07 PM)

I'll only feel a little bad about not sending him more mail. :)

Sandy, that's exciting news that his deployment was shortened. I hope it doesn't change as well. My DH's orders are written currently for 270 days with, of course, the little disclaimer that it could be up to 420. I hope that his don't change!

Just a question for you guys who blog. What do you write about your hubbies as far as details go? I'm getting mixed messages about what I can reveal. I wouldn't write about dates of movement though DH is on a Provincial Reconstruction Team so it's not as if his movements carry the same significance as others' might. But what about country and area, that sort of thing?



BlessedMamaofmany -> RE: Military wives support (8/30/2008 7:32:02 AM)

I'm rather vague. I've written that he's in Iraq. That's about it. I haven't put the city, although I can.
Country is fine, after he arrives, area is okay too, in a general sort of way. Not the name of the base.
Correct me if I'm wrong Sarah.
Sandy



Harvie -> RE: Military wives support (8/31/2008 8:31:33 PM)

I just state that my wonderful DH is in Iraq. Anyone who knows what/where the USAF air bases are can reasonably and easily deduce where he is stationed... he is, after all, a pilot. He never deploys over there "with a unit" ... it's usually just him, traveling military transport ... no big "troop movements" involved.

I didn't mean to make anyone feel bad when I mentioned sending my wonderful DH at least 1 box and 7 cards per week. As others have noted, I don't work outside the home and we don't have children, so I pretty much stay home and think/worry/pray about him when he's deployed -- so sending packages, cards, emails makes me feel better. (He gives most of the goodies away, anyways.) Besides, getting out of the house once in a while to take boxes to the Post Office is sometimes the highlight of my day.



BlessedMamaofmany -> RE: Military wives support (8/31/2008 8:39:27 PM)

of course you didn't mean to make anyone feel bad! No worries Harvie.



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