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RE: teaching your values - 6/12/2008 9:41:23 PM
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deedeeking98
Posts: 69
Joined: 6/6/2008
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quote:
Well, mine are perfect-- 
Kidding. You are right. When I put my four-year-old to bed tonight, she and I got into our little "I love you more, no I love you more!" argument and she exclaimed that I was the most wonderfullest mommy ever. (Now, don't hurl-- I have a point!) It just occurred to me that in her world, I am the most pivotal and influential person alive, with my dh and her brother coming in right behind.
I have only a short window (relatively speaking) remaining in which to make the most vital and lasting impression... to "set" her morality if you will. Don't get excited, I'm not suggesting that she will not evolve those beliefs, but it is in these years that we are setting their moral compass. What a responsibility! It is not impossible, but if she sees me living an authentic, Christ-like, servanthood then "when she is old she will not depart from it."
LOL, true story. One day my husband was disciplining our son for lieing to us. I was downstairs just bawling. When DH came down and saw me crying, he asked me, "You didn't think he was perfect did you?" Tearfully I looked up at him and blurted out...."Yyyyyyeeeeeeessssssssss!"
God has since cured me of that, but it was a hard lesson for all of us! 
Wonderfully said, short window, lasting impressions, not depart from it... we do what we can and ask God for His grace to cover the rest. Amen?
p.s. I LOVED your story about your 4 yr old!
_____________________________
"Sometimes we don't do the things we want to do because we do not want others to know that we want to do them."
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RE: teaching your values - 6/12/2008 10:36:14 PM
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Walker311
Posts: 1341
Joined: 4/11/2005
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This topic has centered more around our children learning values but it occurred to me that I learned most of my values as an adult.
I had the solid base of values instilled in me as a child but did not totally comprehend them until I experienced a little bit of life and then I had to put them into action... often failing miserably.
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RE: teaching your values - 6/14/2008 8:53:22 AM
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4IMPersuaded
Posts: 360
Joined: 11/17/2007
From: Florence, KY
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"p.s. I LOVED your story about your 4 yr old!"
Thanks deedee, your's too! You can't make this stuff up! LOL!
quote:
I had the solid base of values instilled in me as a child but did not totally comprehend them until I experienced a little bit of life and then I had to put them into action... often failing miserably.
I think that is absolutely true. We know we are not to cheat or steal, but when we are afforded an opportunity to "fudge" our tax return, the rubber really meets the road and we must choose how to live out our faith-- even when no one is looking.
I was quite an evangelist in 2nd grade. I remember worrying about whether all of my classmates were going to Heaven. I had no idea, however, what a true relationship with Jesus Christ was all about. That's okay, though. The important thing was that I learned that it was to be a priority in my life. After I got through acting like an rebellious idiot in my teens, I began to really glimpse the richness of life in Christ.
I am really amazed by stories like my mother's. She grew up in a non- Christian home, the child of an alcoholic father. She began attending her local Baptist church on her own in grade school and through her faith, her entire family was saved. It just goes to show that God can overcome anyone's background!
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RE: teaching your values - 6/15/2008 9:16:03 AM
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RJR_fan
Posts: 823
Joined: 4/12/2005
From: RTP, in sunny NC USA
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quote:
We learn all the basics as little ones... then as teenagers, we think we know it all. I think it's then that God needs to knock us down a few pegs (from that pride)... at least that's how it was with me!
Yet, if the Bible is indeed God's Word, teenage rebellion is not "normal," but shockingly abnormal. A capitol offense, in fact. The norm is for children to embrace the faith of their parents, grow therein, then add a few tweaks to make it their own. Kids raised as pentecostal Calvinists in a non-denominational church might, for example, decide to join a conservative Presbyterian denomination in order to worship with their college friends.
Millions of American parents rejoice to see youthful offspring who are happier, healthier, and chaster than we were at their age. Children who so appreciate the way they were raised that they'll take their parents out for lunch to formally thank them -- and who intend to raise their kids the same way.
God is at work. A magnificent new Reformation is in progress. How can I keep from singing? From praising in the wonderful mercies of God poured forth upon undeserving but grateful people?
Granted, in a fallen world, kids normally have some hard knocks when making the transition to adult life. Our obligation is to share enough of our perspective, faith, and confidence to our children so that they'll have the inner stamina needed to overcome adversities.
< Message edited by RJR_fan -- 6/15/2008 9:23:43 AM >
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Blogging my way through the Turkish New Testament
Meet my beloved mentor, RJR
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RE: teaching your values - 6/15/2008 11:57:58 AM
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pstrdebi
Posts: 739
Joined: 4/28/2008
From: So. Oregon, by way of So. Cal.
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quote:
ORIGINAL: RJR_fan
quote:
We learn all the basics as little ones... then as teenagers, we think we know it all. I think it's then that God needs to knock us down a few pegs (from that pride)... at least that's how it was with me!
Yet, if the Bible is indeed God's Word, teenage rebellion is not "normal," but shockingly abnormal. A capitol offense, in fact. The norm is for children to embrace the faith of their parents, grow therein, then add a few tweaks to make it their own. Kids raised as pentecostal Calvinists in a non-denominational church might, for example, decide to join a conservative Presbyterian denomination in order to worship with their college friends.
This is the ideal. But for some of us... we were not raised in that way. I was raised in a Catholic church by a mom who was abusive... who went into the church service with a pious attitude and then stood in the parking lot after church making plans with aunts and uncles for who's house they would go to for dinner and get plastered. We never read the Bible and were instructed that we needed to go through the priest in order to have our sins forgiven.
Thank God I had a sister who married a Baptist man and prayed for me.
quote:
Granted, in a fallen world, kids normally have some hard knocks when making the transition to adult life. Our obligation is to share enough of our perspective, faith, and confidence to our children so that they'll have the inner stamina needed to overcome adversities.
Some have more than others... and those can be extremely painful ones. We need to be sure not to diminish or minimize the pain of their experiences. For some... they last a very long time. Praise God that He made me very resilient... but others are not so.
We can learn from these experiences too... making life gentler and easier for our children as we teach them that, no matter what life throws at us... we have a loving God who will catch us!
_____________________________
"For in Him we live and move and have our being..." Acts 17:28a
http://www.therockfellowship.org
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RE: teaching your values - 6/15/2008 2:02:55 PM
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RJR_fan
Posts: 823
Joined: 4/12/2005
From: RTP, in sunny NC USA
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quote:
Thank God I had a sister who married a Baptist man and prayed for me.
Every new birth is a new miracle. As a Jewish maven, "Dr. Laura," pointed out, we get two opportunities to do the parent/child relationship -- first as the child, then as the parent. If the first cycle was rotten, we can do better on the second go-round.
_____________________________
Blogging my way through the Turkish New Testament
Meet my beloved mentor, RJR
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RE: teaching your values - 6/15/2008 4:58:18 PM
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4IMPersuaded
Posts: 360
Joined: 11/17/2007
From: Florence, KY
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quote:
Yet, if the Bible is indeed God's Word, teenage rebellion is not "normal," but shockingly abnormal. A capitol offense, in fact. The norm is for children to embrace the faith of their parents, grow therein, then add a few tweaks to make it their own.
Really? Then why the parable about the prodigal son? Sure, there is a cultural difference in which the children are considered equal in status to slaves in the home until they come of age-- which might have quelched rebellion in some, but I think the children of Israel gave ample proof that rebellion is "normal" to our sinful nature, teenage or otherwise.
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RE: teaching your values - 6/15/2008 8:28:13 PM
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RJR_fan
Posts: 823
Joined: 4/12/2005
From: RTP, in sunny NC USA
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quote:
Then why the parable about the prodigal son?
Actually, I prefer to call it "the parable of the spiteful big brother." The kid had it all -- and didn't appreciate the goodness and lavish generosity of the Father.
_____________________________
Blogging my way through the Turkish New Testament
Meet my beloved mentor, RJR
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RE: teaching your values - 6/16/2008 2:21:44 AM
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Beck34
Posts: 200
Joined: 3/24/2008
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Thanks so much for all of the advise. It is hard to do, but I am learning day by day what a lasting impact I am making, even on my step-children! Their mother is not a christian so I wonder if the ipact that I have on them day to day holds when they are at her house every other weekend. I came into their lives almost 2 years ago. Am I making an impact even if they are older. Can I make a differance in their lives that they will remember even as they grow older? They are 9, 11, 13, and 15.
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What do you expect, It's Beck!
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RE: teaching your values - 6/16/2008 2:19:21 PM
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lazareth
Posts: 22
Joined: 5/10/2008
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: deedeeking98
LOL, true story. One day my husband was disciplining our son for lieing to us. I was downstairs just bawling. When DH came down and saw me crying, he asked me, "You didn't think he was perfect did you?" Tearfully I looked up at him and blurted out...."Yyyyyyeeeeeeessssssssss!"
God has since cured me of that, but it was a hard lesson for all of us!
This is funny.
As parents, we sure want to only see the good. It hurts when they do something wrong, I think, because we initially take that as a reflection on ourselves. Which is not always the case. They learn so much from other kids and from the world, the media, etc.
I am sickened by some of the cartoons they have on out there for "kids." We didn't have to worry about it so much when our kids were little, but now we are extremely selective when it comes to what we let our grandkids watch!
_____________________________
"Believe your beliefs, and doubt your doubts-
but never believe your doubts, or doubt your beliefs!"
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RE: teaching your values - 6/17/2008 10:19:06 PM
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4IMPersuaded
Posts: 360
Joined: 11/17/2007
From: Florence, KY
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: RJR_fan
Actually, I prefer to call it "the parable of the spiteful big brother." The kid had it all -- and didn't appreciate the goodness and lavish generosity of the Father.
LOL! That's great-- and a good point!
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