teaching your values (Full Version)

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Beck34 -> teaching your values (6/8/2008 3:38:14 PM)

How do you know if you are instilling Cristian values in your children? How do you teach them the word of God without pushing them away?
I have 6 children, and I constantly worry if I am teaching them the things that they need to know in ordr to serve Christ to their fullest. Is that normal?



rcjames -> RE: teaching your values (6/8/2008 4:36:38 PM)

Teach what the Bible teaches, period.

Many parents use secular ideas about teaching, training, and diciplining their children and try to fit it into Christianity and Biblical teaching. Since secular ideas and Christian doctrine are mostly diametrically opposed; it just wull not work, not at all.. So parents try raising their children according to Dr. Spock or whoever the latest human secularist of the moment is, and then wonder why the kids reject Christianity.

Children need to be taught respect for thier elders, God, and dicipline as instructed in Scripture. If they are not then how can the parents expect them to turn out as if they had. The Bible say to;

(Pro 22:6) Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it

So your raise a human secularist guess what you get?

Thanks
RC



Walker311 -> RE: teaching your values (6/8/2008 5:21:37 PM)

I was watching my 10 yr. old son listening intently to my wife the other night without her knowing about it. We are teaching our kids continuously from the time that they are able to absorb information into their brains.

If we are living as we should before God, we do not have to shove our beliefs into their hearts and minds. If we attempt to try too hard to make them "good little Chrisitians", we may ultimately do more harm than good. We have all seen this happen!

I am not for hands off teaching and letting them believe as they will. We need to pray with them and help them understand the bible and the significance of what Christ did for us. God is capable of making Himself known to our kids without help but our devotion and love for Him is a plus in their lives.



mvic -> RE: teaching your values (6/8/2008 6:02:39 PM)

I agree whole-heartedly with RCJames and Walker311.

I wish to add: BE with your children.

Too many parents I've seen leave the teaching and training to others - it's the school's or teachers' jobs (they think). Around here God has been driven out of schools - so not much chance that your children would be taught anything about Him.

If you are with your children as an example of Christianity, day in day out, they will follow that good example. Pray with them, as a family, at meal times, at bedtime etc... etc... Go to church together ... I'm sure you don't need me to go on.

God bless.



pstrdebi -> RE: teaching your values (6/8/2008 6:15:47 PM)

I agree with all of the above... and yes, it is normal to be concerned about these things. I would be concerned if you were not concerned!

Quote scripture to them always... in daily activity... in teaching... in arguments, whatever the circumstances, quote scripture. There is scripture for every situation our kids face or that we face with them.

My greatest rewards on earth, are when my adult children take the initiative to comfort (or counsel) me when I go through trials. To hear them tell me all the things that I have taught them all their lives... to hear them quote scripture to me... is like receiving great and glorious gifts!

God bless you...
Pastor Debi
[;)]



pstrdebi -> RE: teaching your values (6/8/2008 6:17:31 PM)

I agree with all of the above... and yes, it is normal to be concerned about these things. I would be concerned if you were not concerned!

Quote scripture to them always... in daily activity... in teaching... in arguments, whatever the circumstances, quote scripture. There is scripture for every situation our kids face or that we face with them.

My greatest rewards on earth, are when my adult children take the initiative to comfort (or counsel) me when I go through trials. To hear them tell me all the things that I have taught them all their lives... to hear them quote scripture to me... is like receiving great and glorious gifts!

God bless you...
Pastor Debi
[;)]



Liveloved -> RE: teaching your values (6/8/2008 7:39:51 PM)

Beck,
They learn what you live---not what you say. Seek the Lord. Follow hard after Him. And they will learn by watching you.

As you 'blow it' and confess your wrongdoing to them, you will be teaching them lessons that are far more valuable than all the so called 'right stuff' ever could. They need to see the reality of Jesus in you. And if you're living your life loving Him, they will see and they will be blessed.

Bless you for asking. Seek Him. He will be found.[:)] LL



RJR_fan -> RE: teaching your values (6/8/2008 9:21:53 PM)

quote:

I have 6 children, and I constantly worry if I am teaching them the things that they need to know in ordr to serve Christ to their fullest. Is that normal?


Simple answer: keep them out of public school. Raise them yourself. You'll have a 90+% probability of success if you do -- in the most important area of all -- your kids will almost certainly embrace your faith, and want to raise their children in it.

Simple answer. Not an easy one. But God is faithful to make difficult choices eternally rewarding.



4IMPersuaded -> RE: teaching your values (6/8/2008 10:32:01 PM)

I'm going to have to disagree with RJR_fan on the public school thing, though I have agreed with you in other areas. Sometimes it is not practical to keep children out of public school. I have my school-age son at a Christian school, but we are struggling with the expense and asking God if this is a good stewardship choice.

I think a better answer that gets to the heart of your concern is what pstrdebi said-- BE with your children. And while you are with them, be authentic. I see to many PKs and MKs (I am an MK) who walk away from the faith because they see their parents one way in ministry and another way at home. Jesus is only real if you are authentic and are transparent with your struggles in your faith. Don't scare them, they don't always need all of the details, but if they see you being real in your faith, they will be more secure as they seek their own answers and mature in their faith.

No, you are not alone. This is a universal concern for any Christian parent-- and BTW... SIX kids?? Blessings on you, dear sister!



Giulia -> RE: teaching your values (6/9/2008 3:58:21 AM)

All goood responses. I pray at night with my grandchildren, also pray for my children. I say grace when we eat and while I do that I also address issues that need to be addresses. Like if a child has an attitude or something. Reading them bible stories or telling them stories about people who have overcome with their faith and stories of people who didn't love their lives onto death. I highlight the noble qualities of a Christian in those ways as well as live what I talk.



timf -> RE: teaching your values (6/9/2008 7:32:27 AM)

teaching your values

Deuteronomy 6:5-9
And thou shalt love the LORD thy God with all thine heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy might. And these words, which I command thee this day, shall be in thine heart: And thou shalt teach them diligently unto thy children, and shalt talk of them when thou sittest in thine house, and when thou walkest by the way, and when thou liest down, and when thou risest up. And thou shalt bind them for a sign upon thine hand, and they shall be as frontlets between thine eyes. And thou shalt write them upon the posts of thy house, and on thy gates.

True instruction follows the apprenticeship model. Classroom instruction (the unidirectional transmission of data) is a farce. If classroom education was really effective, dim children wouldn't perform poorly. Student performance only has to do with student ability and motivation. As far as learning values, information is never neutral. Public schools intentionally prohibit the name of Jesus from even being mentioned. This inculcates the child in the state religion of secularism (the worship of man in general and self in particular).

Christians need to wake up and not defend the practice of classroom instruction just because they went through it or that it is convenient. Values are learned from environment. If the child spends all their time with classmates and teachers, it is their values that will be adopted.

1 Corinthians 15:33
Do not be misled: "Bad company corrupts good character."

God gave you your children. If you pawn them off on someone else, you will be held accountable for what happens to them. Standing in front of Jesus and saying, "Well everyone else was doing it" may not be the vindication one thinks or hopes.

It has already been pointed out that so-called "Christian" school or even being a MK or PK is no guarantee to the development of Christian character and a heart to follow the Lord. The Bible describes the effect of sincere, daily, observable faith on the part of parents creating an environment from which the child can grow to follow the Lord.



Beck34 -> RE: teaching your values (6/10/2008 3:49:06 AM)

I have often found myself saying, "Do as I say not as I do." I am working on trying to live Christianity in front of them. It is hard, but I am learning so much! I pray that God will show me where I falter day to day so that it won't affecte life that my children live. The greatest legacy that I can leave them is a strong faith in God.



Liveloved -> RE: teaching your values (6/10/2008 10:10:48 AM)

quote:

I have often found myself saying, "Do as I say not as I do." I am working on trying to live Christianity in front of them. It is hard, but I am learning so much! I pray that God will show me where I falter day to day so that it won't affecte life that my children live. The greatest legacy that I can leave them is a strong faith in God.


Beck,
That's why we need to live in repentance and live repentance before those in our lives! Don't play the good Christian. (I'm not saying you are or were saying this. I'm just aware that this is what many do.) Children are very perceptive and see the falseness of this. That is why many leave the faith when they are grown.

Love Jesus and let your children see your love for Him. And how you fail Him, moment by moment, day by day, in your words, your actions, your thoughts, and your life. That will be the best thing you can do or give to your children. Show them a heart of love for the One who died for you and a love that desires to please but fails.

They will be immeasureably blessed by you if you do. Your failures and confession of them are the very things that will teach your children the most about what it is to love Jesus and live in love. Bless you![:)] LL



kernsfamily -> RE: teaching your values (6/10/2008 10:51:36 AM)

Teaching values?

The best thing you can do is live YOUR life in the way that you would want your children to.

At school, our kids are often mentioned as "positive influences"....yes, "bad company" can corrupt "good character", but a strong character can also lead "bad company" away from "bad choices". This little kid Terence, in our oldest daughters class is one example.....he entered the 4th grade as a known "trouble maker"......and, has left 4th as a totally different kid. Why? POSITIVE INFLUENCE of my daughter and wife (who was a "class parent" this year)....other, lesser examples, happen year-round.

So, they are not only LEARNING our VALUES, but putting them to use EVERY DAY....

quote:

Simple answer: keep them out of public school. Raise them yourself. You'll have a 90+% probability of success if you do -- in the most important area of all -- your kids will almost certainly embrace your faith, and want to raise their children in it.


You constantly state a flawed statistic. If that is so, why are there an over-whelming amount of kids at our local high school heading off to Christian colleges and universities this fall? according to your little statistic, that shouldn't be happening.

We COULD follow the "anti-public school" crowd, and remove our kids from school..."because everyone else is doing it, and they said so"......but, God led us to make the choice in the method of education for our children in 2004, when our oldest started Kindergarten, and we have been BLESSED beyond description....so, let's leave the "choice of education" and "choice of schools" to God and their parents and their prayerful decisions.....and, be thankful when they follow God's plan for their lives......even if that doesn't match God's plan for YOUR children's lives and their prayerfully decided educational choices...

quote:

Around here God has been driven out of schools - so not much chance that your children would be taught anything about Him.


I don't expect, nor want, my kid to be taught about "God" in school. In our culturally diverse school, what would they be taught? What other "Gods" would they be taught about? And how? Would any teaching of God be "accurate" to OUR beliefs and teachings? It would almost certainly fit SOMEONE'S beliefs....perhaps ours...perhaps not.....

Contrary to popular belief, and perpetuated myths, prayer and bible reading in public schools are FAR from "banned" or outlawed....though, some people think it's best that ALL students that would engage in those activities not be present in public schools....thus, "removing" prayer/bibles from school....

we do devotionals daily right after dinner, we help them study for "Bible Drill", and encourage them to be active "leaders" in their Children's ministry at church....and, instill the importance of prayer....(and include them when prayerfully making BIG decisions, such as how they are going to be educated...show them "God at work")



iamjc-s -> RE: teaching your values (6/10/2008 12:20:17 PM)

-
As far as what has penatrated & stuck:
You will know by their actions & attitudes.

What that helped me & 2 siblings was reading books by Ethel Barrett.
Especially "God, Have You Got It All Together?" & "Elijah and Elisha".
The second of which I still (20 years later) read at times & get stuff from it.
-



RJR_fan -> RE: teaching your values (6/10/2008 8:48:12 PM)

quote:

I don't expect, nor want, my kid to be taught about "God" in school. In our culturally diverse school, what would they be taught? What other "Gods" would they be taught about? And how? Would any teaching of God be "accurate" to OUR beliefs and teachings? It would almost certainly fit SOMEONE'S beliefs....perhaps ours...perhaps not.....


Ah, but they are being taught about "God" in school. Nietzsche's "God walking through history," the State. They are being trained in devotion to a deity that demands four times as much of us as does the God of the Bible. A deity that claims the right to imprison them for 30 hours a week, regulate their lives with bells, and pound into their minds the lessons that there is no Higher power than The State. No other legitimate source of authority, of laws. Forget Jesus. He's not here. Caesar is Lord over public life. Just confess that, just hand your kids over to Caesar to be programmed into docile factory hands and cannon fodder == and Caesar will let you alone to enjoy your little superstitious devotional hobbies.

If, however, Jesus is truly Lord, then going along with the "big lie" is insanity.



deedeeking98 -> RE: teaching your values (6/10/2008 10:11:33 PM)

Lots of good points! Walk the walk. Who's raising our children anyway? Is it the coach, the teacher, the day care worker, the neighbor kids, Hollywood? The list goes on. I need to be the PRIMARY influence in their little lives. I can't do one thing and teach another to my children. They also need to see consistency in me. They scriptures exhort a believing woman can see her husband saved by the way she lives her life, then can't we parents also use the same concept? Teach the walk, live the talk! Remember, none of us are perfect and neither will any of our children be.



4IMPersuaded -> RE: teaching your values (6/10/2008 11:09:43 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: deedeeking98

Lots of good points! Walk the walk. Who's raising our children anyway? Is it the coach, the teacher, the day care worker, the neighbor kids, Hollywood? The list goes on. I need to be the PRIMARY influence in their little lives. I can't do one thing and teach another to my children. They also need to see consistency in me. They scriptures exhort a believing woman can see her husband saved by the way she lives her life, then can't we parents also use the same concept? Teach the walk, live the talk! Remember, none of us are perfect and neither will any of our children be.

Well, mine are perfect-- [:D]

Kidding. You are right. When I put my four-year-old to bed tonight, she and I got into our little "I love you more, no I love you more!" argument and she exclaimed that I was the most wonderfullest mommy ever. (Now, don't hurl-- I have a point!) It just occurred to me that in her world, I am the most pivotal and influential person alive, with my dh and her brother coming in right behind.

I have only a short window (relatively speaking) remaining in which to make the most vital and lasting impression... to "set" her morality if you will. Don't get excited, I'm not suggesting that she will not evolve those beliefs, but it is in these years that we are setting their moral compass. What a responsibility! It is not impossible, but if she sees me living an authentic, Christ-like, servanthood then "when she is old she will not depart from it."



kernsfamily -> RE: teaching your values (6/11/2008 9:34:42 AM)

quote:

Forget Jesus. He's not here.


any further conversation on this particular subject is now "moot"...

Just to get you "up to speed" on this thing we like to call Christianity....

Jesus lives in the heart of our children, since they have accepted Him as their Lord & Savior. He is omni-present, and is everywhere they go. No matter where they go.
He also lives within the hearts of many of their teachers and staff....and, as a result He is with them wherever they go, as well.
Once you can grasp that concept, you'll be on your way to understanding more about Christianity.

Our children, contrary to popular OPINION, read their bibles, if that's what they choose to do during lunch/before school, etc...etc....they pray for their school, for their classmate, whether they are AT school, or at home. When a friend falls from the monkey bars, for instance, at least one of our girls are there comforting and praying for/with them. God is with them, during those times as well, as they LIVE their lives for Christ, and demonstrate His love through them.

Whether you like it or not, God has blessed us immensely for our prayerful decision to allow our daughters the privilege of attending their neighborhood school.....since it was His guidance that led us to that decision...after much prayer. We follow God's plan for our lives, and our children's lives....not propaganda spreading, agenda-filled MEN...mere "humans"....but, thanks for your concern. Our children are thriving in their "walk with Christ"....

WE, their parents, as someone else said, ARE their PRIMARY INFLUENCE in our children's lives.....and, we simply follow "God's lead" in all we do to raise & nurture them. Just as the MANY previously mentioned High school seniors in our neighborhood were raised/nutured by their parents, with God's guidance, and are now continuing "their Christian Walk" at Christian Colleges and Universities....OR, wherever else God has led them to continue their education.....



ta_mosquito -> RE: teaching your values (6/11/2008 10:07:29 AM)

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pstrdebi -> RE: teaching your values (6/11/2008 2:39:40 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: 4IMPersuaded

I have only a short window (relatively speaking) remaining in which to make the most vital and lasting impression... to "set" her morality if you will. Don't get excited, I'm not suggesting that she will not evolve those beliefs, but it is in these years that we are setting their moral compass. What a responsibility! It is not impossible, but if she sees me living an authentic, Christ-like, servanthood then "when she is old she will not depart from it."


Oh this is so true.... especially your first statement here... I have only a short window (relatively speaking) remaining in which to make the most vital and lasting impression

We need to be ever mindful of this. We continue... even as our children are grown... to model Christ. And also to our grandchildren.

Which resonates this:

quote:

ORIGINAL: iamjc-s

As far as what has penatrated & stuck:
You will know by their actions & attitudes.


The other day, my husband went to our daughters house they just moved in to in order to annoint the home and pray over it. As we went room to room praying, our 2 year old granddaughter followed behind.
We have been joking recently that we are turning her into a little Pentacostal... she raises her hands and says "Amen!" and "Praise Jesus" and the like. This day... as she listened to us praying she was right on our heals in agreement with our prayers. We would say, "and surround this home with Your angels Lord"... she would say "Mmmm- uhmmm!"... we would say, "and guard these windows Lord" and she would say, "Mmmm- uhmmm!" and so it went.

Funny? yes. Cute? yes. Substatial? absolutely! She is learning all about prayer and trusting in the unseen.
[;)]



Liveloved -> RE: teaching your values (6/11/2008 2:58:31 PM)

quote:

The other day, my husband went to our daughters house they just moved in to in order to annoint the home and pray over it. As we went room to room praying, our 2 year old granddaughter followed behind.
We have been joking recently that we are turning her into a little Pentacostal... she raises her hands and says "Amen!" and "Praise Jesus" and the like. This day... as she listened to us praying she was right on our heals in agreement with our prayers. We would say, "and surround this home with Your angels Lord"... she would say "Mmmm- uhmmm!"... we would say, "and guard these windows Lord" and she would say, "Mmmm- uhmmm!" and so it went.


Oh, bless you and your husband, debi! What a beautiful story. These little ones are sponges and absorb whatever they are around. So we need to be evermindful of what they are absorbing from us.

And a 'funny' from my life, I had a women's Bible study group that met in our home and often we would stand in a circle and hold hands and pray at the end of our gathering. Our Welsh corgi would get into the middle of our prayer circle and while we were praying, he would raise his head up and make little whimpering sounds like he was crying out to God and in the Spirit. It was the sweetest thing. [:)]



pstrdebi -> RE: teaching your values (6/11/2008 4:26:05 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Liveloved

Oh, bless you and your husband, debi! What a beautiful story. These little ones are sponges and absorb whatever they are around. So we need to be evermindful of what they are absorbing from us.


Yes... the good and the bad.[&o] I am always telling my kids to watch who is around them. My son-in-law is a contractor... so some of his co-workers are not Christians and can have foul mouths. He is pretty good to set them straight though.

quote:


And a 'funny' from my life, I had a women's Bible study group that met in our home and often we would stand in a circle and hold hands and pray at the end of our gathering. Our Welsh corgi would get into the middle of our prayer circle and while we were praying, he would raise his head up and make little whimpering sounds like he was crying out to God and in the Spirit. It was the sweetest thing. [:)]


We dog-sat for a couple once who had a scottie... he would put his paws up on the edge of the couch and bow his head when you said, "say your prayers." [:D]



4IMPersuaded -> RE: teaching your values (6/12/2008 12:27:17 AM)

quote:

she would say "Mmmm- uhmmm!"... we would say, "and guard these windows Lord" and she would say, "Mmmm- uhmmm!" and so it went


Isn't it just amazing when your little one blurts out something that shows that they've been listening?!! Of course, as you said, it cuts both ways-- blurting out something colorful you didn't think they heard in front of Grandma!

Someone once told me that kids are expert you-know-what detectors. They can see through a "put on" religious face in no time flat. This is why dh and I have chosen to let them see the authentic struggles we face (in an age-appropriate manner). We recently considered a big move. We really didn't know at first where God was leading and we spoke openly about how we were seeking God's will in the decision. We didn't end up making the move, but our children got to see us work through the process and depend upon Him. That is the only way I know to make sure that they don't think later that "religion" was something we made up to control their behaviour or squash their fun-- It is a genuine relationship with our Maker.



RJR_fan -> RE: teaching your values (6/12/2008 6:54:58 PM)

quote:

I have only a short window (relatively speaking) remaining in which to make the most vital and lasting impression


We find great profit in the Westminster Shorter Catechism. All of the great and durable Christian traditions used catechisms to help parents raise their children in the faith. In fact, when Robert Rakes invented the Sunday School, a wise contemporary observer wrote "this will be the death of family Christian education."

Some jobs are just too important to outsource!

And we do have tools, well-designed, to help us guide our children into the riches of the Faith.



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