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RE: Dad's Role With Babies.... - 6/17/2008 9:19:42 AM
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buckifn
Posts: 1868
Joined: 5/23/2006
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Don't underestimate the value of putting baby and/or babies in the car and taking them for a drive so mom can have time for herself.
I think that is one of the top five my kids mom appreciated the most from the time they were a baby on...
Wake up time was important too. I always set the alarm an hour earlier so I could wake up the baby and have time before work. We decided early we didn't want to have a child waking us up crying every day that we wanted to try and allow our children to wake up happy not crying...and it may sound weird but I think it really affects a child's disposition.
When they got a little older we staggered their bedtimes so I could read to each child indiv. a story and share prayer time with them. I'd say those times were the most rewarding ones for me..although I am sure my kids would prob. say the best times were when I took them on some wild outdoor adventure.
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RE: Dad's Role With Babies.... - 6/17/2008 11:11:53 AM
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doinkdom
Posts: 4319
Joined: 4/12/2005
From: The higher lowcountry
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There is nothing MORE attractive than a godly man and father. Just melts the heart.
 I'm sure your wife is the envy of many a single woman.
And how awesomely blessed are your children!
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RE: Dad's Role With Babies.... - 6/17/2008 10:40:06 PM
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Mrs.X
Posts: 2947
Joined: 7/7/2005
From: Newberg, OR
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quote:
ORIGINAL: OneOfHisJewels
quote:
but I think some people may miss how great a man is or could be as a father due to tension over style.
Oh, yeah, I'm with you there. I've told so many women that are so ready to complain about that their husband that
If he is a good provider, they are blessed.
If he is not physically abusive, they are blessed.
If he is not cheating on them, they are blessed.
If they have good health insurance through his work, they are blessed.
Not that more than that wouldn't be nice, but just those things are so much more than many women round the world have.
Or necessary. Bringing home the bacon and not beating or cheating his wife doesn't make him a good father. I'm sorry but what you listed is PAR (except the health insurance part, that would be nice). Positive (and frequent) interaction is one of those most important NECESSITIES a father can give. Doesn't matter if he'ds reading the news to the baby while he's drinking his coffee or keeping the kids from screaming at the babygate at the kitchen while mom is making dinner. What matters most is that it's positive AND frequent.
quote:
Measuring up? According to a 1992 Gallup poll, more than 50 percent of all adults agreed that fathers today spend less time with their kids than their fathers did with them.
Source: Gallup national random sample conducted for the National Center for Fathering, April 1992.
Commercial breaks: The amount of time a father spends with his child -- one-on-one -- averages less than 10 minutes a day.
Source: J. P. Robinson, et al., "The Rhythm of Everyday Life." Westview Press. 1988
High risk: Overall, more than 75 percent of American children are at risk because of paternal deprivation. Even in two-parent homes, fewer than 25 percent of young boys and girls experience an average of at least one hour a day of relatively individualized contact with their fathers.
Source: Henry Biller, "The Father Factor..." a paper based on presentations during meetings with William Galston, Deputy Director, Domestic Policy, Clinton White House, December 1993 and April 1994.
From HERE
_____________________________
-Stina
From Sweet Grass to the Packin' House
A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger. -Proverbs 15:1
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RE: Dad's Role With Babies.... - 6/17/2008 10:59:36 PM
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OneOfHisJewels
Posts: 2940
Joined: 8/9/2007
From: California
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quote:
PAR
What does that stand for?
I agree, lots of positive interaction between dads and kids is important, and you're right, my list was too bare bones (although there are women who tragically don't even have those things), but I have known some women whose husbands really are attentive, involved dads, and they can still only find fault with their husbands, I guess that's what I was reacting too.
However, I really don't want to get this into a debate about what dads should or shouldn't do..I don't think that's the intent of Paul's thread. It's just that 3capps felt sure that her husband wouldn't measure up in here, and while he may not change diapers much, he IS attentive to his kids, so I was just trying to encourage her, and I guess I veered off a little  .
Anyway, back to the regularly scheduled topic..
Dad's role with babies..
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RE: Dad's Role With Babies.... - 6/18/2008 11:34:51 PM
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Mrs.X
Posts: 2947
Joined: 7/7/2005
From: Newberg, OR
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: OneOfHisJewels
quote:
PAR
What does that stand for?
I agree, lots of positive interaction between dads and kids is important, and you're right, my list was too bare bones (although there are women who tragically don't even have those things), but I have known some women whose husbands really are attentive, involved dads, and they can still only find fault with their husbands, I guess that's what I was reacting too.
However, I really don't want to get this into a debate about what dads should or shouldn't do..I don't think that's the intent of Paul's thread. It's just that 3capps felt sure that her husband wouldn't measure up in here, and while he may not change diapers much, he IS attentive to his kids, so I was just trying to encourage her, and I guess I veered off a little .
Anyway, back to the regularly scheduled topic..
Dad's role with babies..
Sorry if I came off as harsh. Par is a term used in golf for just making the mark. It means you just passed.
_____________________________
-Stina
From Sweet Grass to the Packin' House
A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger. -Proverbs 15:1
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RE: Dad's Role With Babies.... - 6/19/2008 7:05:12 AM
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3cappuccinosmom
Posts: 2603
Joined: 4/12/2005
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Example of what dh does with our babies--Biruk is having a hard time adjusting to days being so long here over the summer, and often messes around in his bed for an hour or so before he finally gives up and lies down to sleep. His bed is right next to ours, and when I put him down, Josiah was already in bed. I left the room and a few minutes later I hear Josiah whispering and Biruk giggling, and I went back in to check it out, and there was Biruk, sitting on Josiah's chest, the two of them grinning at each other. Josiah said he just couldn't resist, he had to pick him up. Apparently Biruk was peeking over the top of his pack n play, making eyes at Josiah, looking like a prisoner peering out his jail cell window.  He must have been making eyes like that cat in Shrek, because my tough as nails husband just up and melted, even though it meant less sleep for him. 
Dh doesn't tuck anyone into bed or read stories, but he does insist that we all pray together every evening before bed, and usually does a few minutes of "I'm gonna eat you up!" tickle games before I herd the older boys into their room.
He does daddying differently than most, but I don't have any complaints.
_____________________________
 Moo
Shameless Self Promotion
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RE: Dad's Role With Babies.... - 6/19/2008 7:09:12 AM
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thorkraki
Posts: 102
Joined: 6/17/2008
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We have not had babies for a while, but when we did, I often fed and changed them. Also, since my wife breastfed, when they were little and she got up in the night to feed them, I always got up too, and sat with them. I thought that it was important to be there even if I couldn't actually take part. That way, we shared the lack of sleep too!
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RE: Dad's Role With Babies.... - 6/20/2008 11:42:38 PM
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mrwrench
Posts: 22
Joined: 5/28/2005
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hey I found the time what do you it is possible. Well here it is my self proposed wisdom that I have learned. There is a saying that any man can be a father but it takes a man to be Daddy. as a father of well lets just sat 5 kids it is close enough to the date. It is hard to be a Daddy sometimes and I am not claiming to be an expert or even saying I am perfect everyday. I have my days when I have had a rough at work and I come home the last thing I want to do is deal kids. I also have to realize that I am a Daddy and it is something I enjoy doing. anyways I believe it is not always the time you spend with you kids it is what you do in that time. Lets take our nighttime routine we read a bible story, we sing a song and we pray, whether I am tired or not I make myself do because I enjoy those moments. Your kids remember the time you spend with them and they will remember it when they get older. I believe is mostly the little things you do for your kids that make a difference. It took me a long time to learn how to be a good Daddy and also know I will learn more over the years as they grow. You can teach your kids they can learn from you but I also believe that they can teach you in return. Being a Daddy is a very important role and it starts with babies.
_____________________________
hubby of peculiar_lady2
gal 6:9-10
9 Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.
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), I get what you are saying and thanks for your encouragement. I do get a little defensive, 'cause dh is attentive and caring with our children, just not in a way that is recognized as such by most. It makes me wonder how many men don't "meet the standard" (doing 50% of all physical baby care and reading bedtime stories every night, maybe) and end up berated and pushed away completely because of it. 
