How to prove oneself trustworthy (Full Version)

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vikingfan -> How to prove oneself trustworthy (6/8/2008 9:12:20 PM)

As a guy, it has been my experience when trying to befriend ladies that some of them have been scarred through previous experiences with guys and have difficulty believing that I have their best interest at heart. Some of them God has enabled me to get through and treat them as sisters, but far more I have not. This is not so much of a 'how can I get through so I can date them,' but more of a 'how can I get through so I can be friends?' and this goes for the ladies too, in case you are wondering how you can get through so you can be found trustworthy. it has been my experience from talking to many people that their secrets and feelings have been blabbed, trashed, and stomped on. Obviously, that is not my desire, but at the same time, it's sort of difficult to prove. and as a guy, I know that I have tried reaching out to girls only to experience some of the same, which is why I am always cautious until she proves herself trustworthy.

What are your thoughts on trust, both between the sexes and in general? To me, this is something that everyone should strive for, whether you're interested in dating or not.



ashes4beauty -> RE: How to prove oneself trustworthy (6/8/2008 9:37:18 PM)

Good question!

This is a huge issue for me as I have been burned quite a bit! I had an abusive childhood so I have an inner sense if someone is being dishonest or if they have an agenda. I have to pray and ask God to show me if someone is trustworthy and He is always faithful! He has given me peace and led me to people who have hurt me but that has taught me how to forgive and trust that same person again.

I have learned to not have such high expectations. Everyone is going to let everyone down in someway or another, especially those you love. I look for how they approach the 'letdown' - if they approach me and explain it and ask for my forgiveness than I forgive and move forward in the relationship. If they don't do that, I have to 'catch' them and go in that direction I dont usually find them trustworthy.

Shannon



PreserveWildlife -> RE: How to prove oneself trustworthy (6/8/2008 9:46:59 PM)

Trust, like love, requires time and exposure to the other person.



woodwind228 -> RE: How to prove oneself trustworthy (6/8/2008 9:56:31 PM)

I think everyone should be cautious at first. But like the OP said, it'll take time to build trust, especially if the person you're trying to build a relationship with (albeit friendship or romantic) has been burned previously. Don't try to push it on anyone, but be there for that person, be their shoulder if they should ever ask to use it and the trust will come.

One thing that really irks me is when someone doesn't do what they say they're gonna do, particularly if it happens all the time. 'Course that has more to do with dependability than trust, but similar enough in my book.



Prairiehiker -> RE: How to prove oneself trustworthy (6/8/2008 10:23:19 PM)

Consistency, communication, and confidentiality. Those are required in building trust.



BugLady -> RE: How to prove oneself trustworthy (6/8/2008 10:37:11 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Prairiehiker

Consistency, communication, and confidentiality. Those are required in building trust.


I agree with this, especially confidentiality.



woodwind228 -> RE: How to prove oneself trustworthy (6/8/2008 10:39:17 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: BugLady

quote:

ORIGINAL: Prairiehiker

Consistency, communication, and confidentiality. Those are required in building trust.


I agree with this, especially confidentiality.


Sounds like a pretty good summation to me.



Pauley464 -> RE: How to prove oneself trustworthy (6/9/2008 9:03:05 AM)

I don't trust anyone until I have known them for a long time, in some cases, years. And even then I am very selective about what I reveal to them. There are things that I don't trust to anyone, not even my closest friend or family member. I have found that if the information is too juicy, then nobody will keep it in confidence.



John_O -> RE: How to prove oneself trustworthy (6/10/2008 12:44:06 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: vikingfan
What are your thoughts on trust, both between the sexes and in general? To me, this is something that everyone should strive for, whether you're interested in dating or not.


I've found that the absolute best way to build trustworthiness is to root for the Packers.[:D]



Tinkerbell_ -> RE: How to prove oneself trustworthy (6/10/2008 12:49:18 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: John_O

quote:

ORIGINAL: vikingfan
What are your thoughts on trust, both between the sexes and in general? To me, this is something that everyone should strive for, whether you're interested in dating or not.


I've found that the absolute best way to build trustworthiness is to root for the Packers.[:D]

[:'(][:'(][:'(][:'(][:'(]



cammo2006 -> RE: How to prove oneself trustworthy (6/10/2008 10:20:37 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Tinkerbell_

quote:

ORIGINAL: John_O

quote:

ORIGINAL: vikingfan
What are your thoughts on trust, both between the sexes and in general? To me, this is something that everyone should strive for, whether you're interested in dating or not.


I've found that the absolute best way to build trustworthiness is to root for the Packers.[:D]

[:'(][:'(][:'(][:'(][:'(]


[:D][:D][:D][:D][:D]



FunBetty -> RE: How to prove oneself trustworthy (6/11/2008 10:39:53 AM)

I think if you are trying to prove yourself trustworthy, then you are failing. The only way ppl will perceive you are trustworthy is if you ARE trustworthy.

I am typically a trusting person of others, following the adage of innocent until proven guilty. However, I do silently watch and observe and make mental notes - mostly to observe character qualities.



BethyHerself -> RE: How to prove oneself trustworthy (6/11/2008 10:57:47 AM)

When I was reading down through this I was thinking.. well, ARE you trustworthy? A lot of people want to be trusted, but have you showed yourself to be a person who has their best interest at heart? What is the real difference in a trustworthy person that people see and are attracted to?

Maybe humility, because a proud person would be after their own gain. Maybe.. authenticity, like if you are genuine when you share with them they will be more likely to share back. Maybe it's just a maturity level thing, I don't know, but what makes someone trustworthy or not? Can you define that?



Cloak -> RE: How to prove oneself trustworthy (6/12/2008 10:42:48 PM)

Good question!

Trust needs to be earned. As humans we are all or most of us are cautious, due the mistrust and hurts that occurred in our life; we need to be able to trust that person, even in the case of same-gender relationship.

I admit that finding Quality friends from both genders is something Very difficult nowadays the more you have standards or request them to be available with the people you're seeking friendship with.

Friendship is an adventure. You are throwing your dice on someone you don't know well, taking risks all in the name of getting to know someone well and that is awesome!

With time, patience, faith and perseverance, you will be able get thru this process and after sometime you will be able to assess this friendship whether that lady you're dating is the right one for you or not.

Best of luck in your search!



sunluvingirl -> RE: How to prove oneself trustworthy (6/16/2008 9:26:18 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: FunBetty

I think if you are trying to prove yourself trustworthy, then you are failing. The only way ppl will perceive you are trustworthy is if you ARE trustworthy.


That is an excellent point, FB!!



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