RE: Help with my thinking.... (Full Version)

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sunshinesoprano -> RE: Help with my thinking.... (6/17/2008 12:28:22 PM)

Re money: I don't remember that but I guess I meant in contrast to many people I didn't make a lot of money. Now I guess I make more because I changed jobs and got a huge raise.

Re: Father. He's a sperm donor. He was a drunk/womanizer and while when he was sober he was great, he had very low self-confidence and never felt like he could make his father proud. The only way he knew how to cope with the pain was to drink.

He and my mom divorced when I was 14 and he was only in my life on highlights, like birthdays and graduations. He's better now, but there's a lot of water under that bridge.

Many years ago God revealed to me that much of my approval obsession came from my issues with him and I was able to really get through it.



wareaglekd -> RE: Help with my thinking.... (6/24/2008 2:32:39 PM)

Hey sweetie! I'm just seeing this one for the first time. Been away from work. I'm so sorry your are feeling bad. Considering the trip in '99, look at the people you were with. You were around people w/ very selfish attitudes & had no respect for you & really very little for themselves. You are around people now that care about you for you, not what you look like. They want to be around you, not your body.

I understand the "jumpy" experience because I do that too. I don't really know why, but who really likes being snuck up on & grabbed? Don't feel guilty about that one, it's pretty normal.

Soprano, you really need to communicate w/ the Lord about your feelings about your body & I know it's more than skin deep. Remember, He loves you already regardless of physical appearance. Everyone that cares Christ in their hearts are the same way. It's up to you alone to push away the issues of self esteem & love yourself. I struggled w/ that for years & it wasn't until I turned it over to Him that I stopped worrying about it. I believe I'm going to be successful in my new diet program, because it's all about Him & not about me. It's about my health & how He feels about the choices I make. Everything we deal w/ from a physical & emotional standpoint belong to Him no matter what & only He can bring us out of our weaknesses. Do not look for over night cures w/ immediate mind changes. It is a process & you need to accept God's timing in transforming you. It will happen!

Meanwhile, look for a stylish tankini top & a longer pair of shorts that match. It will give you more covering & you will still be fashionable. I want you to have a good time! You need to do this for yourself. When you have invitations from people that care about you, you need to do them. This is going to help you in so many ways. God is going to be right there w/ you & you will have a great time, I'm sure! kd



Consecrated2God -> RE: Help with my thinking.... (6/26/2008 11:21:38 AM)

Just now found this thread. I have some thoughts, but I'll try and respond later.

I did want to say really quick though that the reason you may not have had many people respond yet may be in part due to your thread title. I tend to skim over threads if I can't tell what they are about from the title. There are a lot of threads that say things like, "Need advice" and unless I know what they need advice for from the title alone, I'm not likely to stop in and see.



Consecrated2God -> RE: Help with my thinking.... (6/27/2008 8:38:38 AM)

I'm back. I had seen this thread yesterday, ironically just as we were about to leave for a swim party. My husband has a similar struggle with public swimming--he's also got body image issues, even though his body looks just fine.

I would echo the thoughts posted earlier that most people are busy worrying about their own bodies than how other people look. With all the water splashing around, you really can't see what other people look like anyway.

If it makes you more comfortable to cover up more, that's a good option. I'd hate for you to rob yourself of the enjoyment of swimming because of a perception. You can also spend a lot of time in the water, where you will feel less exposed. Confidence goes a long way. You will actually be more noticable and stick out more if you are obviously uncomfortable. It draws attention to your insecurities.

I wish I could tell you that my husband overcame his issues yesterday and had a good time swimming, but that's not the case. I'm going to keep trying to help him, though. [:)]



sunshinesoprano -> RE: Help with my thinking.... (6/27/2008 9:27:19 AM)

Thanks for the recent posts.

I actually did go swimming at my best friend's house a couple weeks ago and I had a great time. Her husband was there, the one that I feel NO wierdness being around. And after seeing them, I felt like a beauty queen! They have little legs, but big bellies and boobs!!!!

The next quest will be swimming with the other set of friends and I think I'll be okay. I hope.



manda59 -> RE: Help with my thinking.... (6/27/2008 10:55:39 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: sunshinesoprano
And after seeing them, I felt like a beauty queen! They have little legs, but big bellies and boobs!!!!




Ah yes, that can happen to middle-aged men! [;)]



sunshinesoprano -> RE: Help with my thinking.... (6/27/2008 11:22:42 AM)

These were actually women, but yeah....men, too. [:D]



wareaglekd -> RE: Help with my thinking.... (6/27/2008 1:14:48 PM)

And that WILL be the case w/ most people. After all we are human & changing everyday! k



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