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RE: Calling Child Protective Services - 6/12/2008 6:25:23 PM
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SteveSund
Posts: 451
Joined: 11/8/2005
From: Michigan
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Pinksultana
can I also say if there is common domestic violence within the home between parents ALL the children at this home are at risk of significant emotional harm from witnessing this violence also
Witnessing domestic violence is a good predictor of future aggressive behavior. There is plenty of evidence that shows children that are exposed to DV are at increased risk of themselves being violent. This is a huge red flag.
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RE: Calling Child Protective Services - 6/12/2008 8:05:36 PM
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MyMasquerade
Posts: 167
Joined: 5/16/2008
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quote:
ORIGINAL: SteveSund
quote:
ORIGINAL: Pinksultana
can I also say if there is common domestic violence within the home between parents ALL the children at this home are at risk of significant emotional harm from witnessing this violence also
Witnessing domestic violence is a good predictor of future aggressive behavior. There is plenty of evidence that shows children that are exposed to DV are at increased risk of themselves being violent. This is a huge red flag.
When she beat on my door that morning I asked her how she would feel if her daugther were in this type of relationship because she thought it was ok from seeing it her entire life.
She sent W over here a little while ago to get a pain pill (I have a lot of pain in my neck and back, 7 herniated and 2 bulging disk). I asked him why he wasn't home to go to his appointment, he said Hans wouldn't let me go since he thought it was just you going to the doctor. I told him to tell her that since she didn't care about his pain, I don't care about hers, go get your own.
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RE: Calling Child Protective Services - 6/12/2008 8:17:23 PM
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manda59
Posts: 6051
Joined: 9/22/2005
From: Hampshire, UK
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quote:
ORIGINAL: MyMasquerade
She sent W over here a little while ago to get a pain pill (I have a lot of pain in my neck and back, 7 herniated and 2 bulging disk). I asked him why he wasn't home to go to his appointment, he said Hans wouldn't let me go since he thought it was just you going to the doctor. I told him to tell her that since she didn't care about his pain, I don't care about hers, go get your own.
Your heart must have broken to see her using him like that. Personally I would probably have said to him that his mother needed to ask me herself, as it was not right to give children drugs to look after, even prescribed "legal" ones. Then, if she'd come, I'd have given her the other message myself, directly.
Could I just ask, what pain pills do you use? (And I feel for you with the pain you must be in - my husband has disc problems).
When are you next likely to be seeing him on his own?
I am praying that sometime very soon he comes to you and asks for your help in getting away.
< Message edited by manda59 -- 6/12/2008 8:24:49 PM >
_____________________________
"Once again....drum roll please! Manda is right"
doinkdom, October 2008
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RE: Calling Child Protective Services - 6/14/2008 10:20:47 PM
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RichNay
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i have to say, i find it shocking how many people are more concerned about themselves then these poor helpless children. YOU can go to the police if she touches you. they are trapped.
i think the only question you need to ask yourself is: when you stand before God on your judgement day, what do you think he will say if you don't call? and if you do? that's your answer right there.
and yes, i understand that people on drugs are VERY dangerous. i was an abused child and for awhile my mother was in an abusive relationship, later it was just her, me and her alcohol. would she have been furious if someone called Childrens Aid on her? yes. would my life have been better if someone had that courage? undoubtedly. i have also volunteered in a battered families shelter.i know that you may be putting yourself at risk. (but you know of the risk, take precautions if you do call, and God will protect those who lovingly serve and seek him unselfishly.)
doesn't Jesus call us to lay down our life for others??? this may be uncomfortable for you, but you cannot comprehend the absolute terror these children, and W will be feeling constantly. (even if they are not being battered. it is just as scary when it happens to your family members) ask yourself, are the lives and well being of these kids worth it?
God Bless You!
Courtnay
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RE: Calling Child Protective Services - 6/15/2008 7:24:06 AM
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Pinksultana
Posts: 51
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Richnay
you put into words my exact feelings that I was struggling to express...although this boy seems only to have the OP as a single ally in his life I am sure th OP would have many supportive people around and much access to resources should repercussions for the call come her way to speak...
Pink
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RE: Calling Child Protective Services - 6/15/2008 8:41:38 AM
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manda59
Posts: 6051
Joined: 9/22/2005
From: Hampshire, UK
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quote:
ORIGINAL: RichNay
i have to say, i find it shocking how many people are more concerned about themselves then these poor helpless children. YOU can go to the police if she touches you. they are trapped.
Firstly, the OP is a *SINGLE MUM* with a 10yr old daughter. Her neighbour's partner is a violent man. Her first duty is to protect her own child.
Secondly, if she calls, what evidence does she have? Only about his tonsils and about what she has been told. She has not witnessed any violence or abuse, only heard it about it. Yes, something needs to be done, but it has to be handled so very carefully or else these children could be WORSE OFF than they are now, with no safe place to go. If another agency was involved, say the police - ie if they were called for any disturbance, any observing of drug taking, any marks seen on any of the children, that would be different. But I'd be surprised if any strong action would be taken just on what she has witnessed so far, and unless it's strong action that is taken, it could just get worse for the children.
Now, if the OP could get the boy himself to say he needed help, and to give a statement as to what he has seen, heard and experienced, that would definitely result in strong action being taken.
_____________________________
"Once again....drum roll please! Manda is right"
doinkdom, October 2008
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RE: Calling Child Protective Services - 6/15/2008 1:03:54 PM
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NotDoneYet
Posts: 289
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From: Virginia
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If she went to CPS and told them about the boy's tonsils, a case can be made for medical neglect at a minimum. That would trigger a full investigation. So, she has evidence that there is medical neglect and that mom's bf won't let the kid go to a doctor...that's enough.
Please...CALL...don't let that kid suffer one more day.
NDY
_____________________________
Remember, normal is just a setting on the dryer!
Ranting and raving: diaryofaravingmom.blogspot.com
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RE: Calling Child Protective Services - 6/15/2008 2:23:27 PM
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manda59
Posts: 6051
Joined: 9/22/2005
From: Hampshire, UK
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quote:
ORIGINAL: NotDoneYet
If she went to CPS and told them about the boy's tonsils, a case can be made for medical neglect at a minimum. That would trigger a full investigation. So, she has evidence that there is medical neglect and that mom's bf won't let the kid go to a doctor...that's enough.
OK, I'm a Brit and don't know how your reporting system works.
Explain to me what a full investigation would involve over there in this scenario, step by step.
_____________________________
"Once again....drum roll please! Manda is right"
doinkdom, October 2008
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RE: Calling Child Protective Services - 6/17/2008 11:00:11 PM
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MyMasquerade
Posts: 167
Joined: 5/16/2008
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quote:
ORIGINAL: RichNay
i have to say, i find it shocking how many people are more concerned about themselves then these poor helpless children. YOU can go to the police if she touches you. they are trapped.
i think the only question you need to ask yourself is: when you stand before God on your judgement day, what do you think he will say if you don't call? and if you do? that's your answer right there.
and yes, i understand that people on drugs are VERY dangerous. i was an abused child and for awhile my mother was in an abusive relationship, later it was just her, me and her alcohol. would she have been furious if someone called Childrens Aid on her? yes. would my life have been better if someone had that courage? undoubtedly. i have also volunteered in a battered families shelter.i know that you may be putting yourself at risk. (but you know of the risk, take precautions if you do call, and God will protect those who lovingly serve and seek him unselfishly.)
doesn't Jesus call us to lay down our life for others??? this may be uncomfortable for you, but you cannot comprehend the absolute terror these children, and W will be feeling constantly. (even if they are not being battered. it is just as scary when it happens to your family members) ask yourself, are the lives and well being of these kids worth it?
God Bless You!
Courtnay
I have lived through years and years of abuse and will not just sit by and do nothing. I have been making phone calls and trying to find out what I can do.
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RE: Calling Child Protective Services - 6/18/2008 3:22:35 AM
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manda59
Posts: 6051
Joined: 9/22/2005
From: Hampshire, UK
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quote:
ORIGINAL: manda59
quote:
ORIGINAL: NotDoneYet
If she went to CPS and told them about the boy's tonsils, a case can be made for medical neglect at a minimum. That would trigger a full investigation. So, she has evidence that there is medical neglect and that mom's bf won't let the kid go to a doctor...that's enough.
OK, I'm a Brit and don't know how your reporting system works.
Explain to me what a full investigation would involve over there in this scenario, step by step.
I notice no-one has answered my question here.
Here is what would happen in the UK if a third party (ie not the child) reported abuse:
- first thing is that Social Services would check with other agencies (eg the child's school)
and then call at the house to see the mother and the child. If there was no-one home, they'd call
back, or leave a card
- if there was someone home, they'd say that there had been a report of abuse/neglect and
talk to them about it
- if they thought there was immediate danger to the child, the police would be called and the
child would be taken into protective care
- however, this is rare, because there would have to be clear and obvious signs (like
total neglect - the child being filthy, unkempt, injured or gravely ill)
- if no immediate danger was present, but the Social Services were still concerned, they'd
advise the mother as to steps that needed to be taken, and schedule another visit, very soon
- they'd leave
If this is what also happens in the USA, it seems to me in this instance that unless the boy pipes up and speaks against his step-father (for abusing him) AND his mother (for neglecting him) he would not be taken into care on that day, but left in their care, AT SERIOUS RISK.
Social Services cannot and will not take a child away based on what a third party says, UNLESS they see/hear evidence of it themselves (or unless that third party is the police).
That is why I advocated being extremely careful how this is handled. It's not enough IMO to just tell Social Services, unless you can be 100% that the boy will be removed on the first visit. Otherwise he could just be left there to suffer more. I cannot see that they would take him away just because of his tonsils (which, after all, appears to be the only actual evidence - everything else is hearsay - unless the OP has actually witnessed any violence, etc, or unless the boy actually says something, which IMO he is unlikely to in front of his mother)
In the UK, the Social Services have the MOST power if someone has called the police first - ie there is clear evidence that a child is at so much risk that it's a police matter. If the police are called in, and are convinced, they have the power to tell Social Services to come in right away.
Is it any different in the USA?
< Message edited by manda59 -- 6/18/2008 8:04:12 AM >
_____________________________
"Once again....drum roll please! Manda is right"
doinkdom, October 2008
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RE: Calling Child Protective Services - 6/18/2008 9:09:07 AM
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SteveSund
Posts: 451
Joined: 11/8/2005
From: Michigan
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quote:
ORIGINAL: manda59
Is it any different in the USA?
No, it it essentially the same here in the US, though there are some differences from state to state. Child protection laws are, for the most part, state laws and it depends on what state you are in. That being said, they are pretty uniform. Another factor to consider is that laws aren't very precise. In cases where there is sexual abuse, death, or a serious injury any action from the courts is pretty clear cut. In cases of relatively minor abuse or neglect, then it is up to the judges and they can be just as biased as anyone else.
In my state (MI), the process usually goes like this:
-A complaint is made and the agency decides if the information warrants investigation.
-The worker verfifys the information and interviews the appropriate people. If there is an allegation of sexual abuse or there has been a non-accidental injury, then the police will becalled and they will take over the investigative portion.
-At this point, it depends on the what the investigation turns up. If there is a reason to believe the child is at risk for harm, then the child may be removed from home and placed into foster care. There will then be a hearing and a varity of things can happen depending on what is wrong.
-If the child is not at significant risk, then they will go home and other services may be mandated to help the family.
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RE: Calling Child Protective Services - 6/18/2008 9:58:16 AM
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shadowspring
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In this case they would most likely focus on getting the boy the medical care he needs.
If they do not see bruises or the boy does not report the physical abuse, then no they would not take action to remove him from the home. Nor would it even come up in their investigation. Why should it?
Personally I do not see how "only" getting him medical attention for his health issues would be a bad thing. Plus, as long as that is the only complaint, I don't see why anyone would want to retaliate against the family. The social worker would assume they did not know how serious untreated sore throats can be, or that they lacked the resources to get him help. No one would be accusing them of evil.
PLEASE call the boy's doctor and tell him what's going on. Let him be responsible to report. He likely only hasn't reported so far because he has no proof that the mom is not seeking medical care elsewhere and is truly ignoring this boy's ongoing infection. Supply him reason to believe that this is the case.
Untreated infection can and does still kill people, and it is a totally unnecessary death in our world. Untreated strep leads to rheumatic fever. Doctors never mess around with sore throats. They always test for strep. A sore throat that doesn't go away is always taken seriously.
I was hoping some medical person would point this out. Any mom who has ever debated whether or not to take a child in gets asked these same questions: Is the throat sore? Does he have a fever? Has it been sore for more than 24 hours? If the answer is yes to the first and either of the other two, it's always "Bring the child in today".
My mom almost died of rheumatic fever in the '40s because her father would not allow her mother to seek medical treatment for their daughter's sore throat. Money was their issue. In the end, my mom had to spend a year in a children's sanitarium recovering. I am quite sure they admitted her to make sure she received the long-term antibiotics necessary to overcome the raging out-of-control infection that now threatened her life. She has permanent heart problems because of the infection.
And it all started with an untreated sore throat. The adults in this situation probably don't even know how serious this could be! But I assure you, it could be very SERIOUS.
quote:
ORIGINAL: Nashga5
First as a member of law enforcement I would like to point out that if you know of any abuse it is your duty to report it. If you do not wish to call CPS you can call the Sheriff's Office.
It really boggles my mind to see so many believers debating whether or not to obey the law! This is not the only thread I've seen where the issue becomes 'will the authorities do the right thing' instead of 'will I do the right thing'? According to US law, the right thing is not up for debate. If you have proof of (in this case) neglect (or if you see them beat the boy) or abuse, you have a legal obligation to alert the authorities.
Talk to the doctor. If I am wrong (maybe I am!), and not treating this boy's sore throat is no big deal, let it all go. If it is a big deal, look up rheumatic fever online, print it off, and share it with the boy's mom. If she still will not seek treatment, then it IS CRIMINAL NEGLECT and you ARE REQUIRED BY LAW TO REPORT IT.
Whether or not the government carries out their responsibilities is not your problem. But whether or not you obey the law is definitely your problem.
_____________________________
"Blessed is the man...whose delight is in the law of the Lord, and in His law meditates day and night. He will be like a tree planted by rivers of water..." from Psalm 1
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RE: Calling Child Protective Services - 6/18/2008 10:04:40 AM
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Roberta_
Posts: 7000
Joined: 9/28/2007
From: East Bay Area
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quote:
ORIGINAL: shadowspring
quote:
ORIGINAL: Nashga5
First as a member of law enforcement I would like to point out that if you know of any abuse it is your duty to report it. If you do not wish to call CPS you can call the Sheriff's Office.
It really boggles my mind to see so many believers debating whether or not to obey the law! This is not the only thread I've seen where the issue becomes 'will the authorities do the right thing' instead of 'will I do the right thing'? According to US law, the right thing is not up for debate. If you have proof of (in this case) neglect (or if you see them beat the boy) or abuse, you have a legal obligation to alert the authorities.
Talk to the doctor. If I am wrong (maybe I am!), and not treating this boy's sore throat is no big deal, let it all go. If it is a big deal, look up rheumatic fever online, print it off, and share it with the boy's mom. If she still will not seek treatment, then it IS CRIMINAL NEGLECT and you ARE REQUIRED BY LAW TO REPORT IT.
Whether or not the government carries out their responsibilities is not your problem. But whether or not you obey the law is definitely your problem.
You make it sound so black and white. Have you not realized there are other children and that all of them could be hurt by this situation? Like I said before, there are some really good people working for CPS. However, CPS doesn't have the greatest track record. Often times, they do more harm than good. There is also the very real possibility of the OP putting her dd and herself in danger.
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RE: Calling Child Protective Services - 6/18/2008 10:07:58 AM
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shadowspring
Posts: 1611
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quote:
ORIGINAL: SteveSund
quote:
ORIGINAL: manda59
Is it any different in the USA?
In cases of relatively minor abuse or neglect, then it is up to the judges and they can be just as biased as anyone else.
Actually, it only goes before a judge if the government is seeking to remove a child from the home, a worst-case scenario that rarely occurs.
The huge majority of interventions are overseen by the social worker and her superiors, and involve an individualized plan of action tailored to the family/situation at hand. Most families comply and the case is closed.
_____________________________
"Blessed is the man...whose delight is in the law of the Lord, and in His law meditates day and night. He will be like a tree planted by rivers of water..." from Psalm 1
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RE: Calling Child Protective Services - 6/18/2008 10:33:50 AM
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shadowspring
Posts: 1611
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Denim Diva, to me it is black and white.
If the boy could face death or permanent disability (a big IF which I would be researching thoroughly if it were me) then the law is clear. Obedience is not optional.
As far as his siblings:
These kids are in a bad situation no matter what happens to their brother! There is NO WAY of keeping them safe.* They will all suffer eventually. Does this boy really need to sacrifice his health in a (doomed to fail) bid to pacify the abuser a little while longer?
The abuse is not going to stop just because this teen's health is neglected.
How can keeping the abuser protected and the teen neglected sound right to anyone?
I will get off this thread, because I have said all I have to say on the subject. May the Holy Spirit guide the OP in a plain path and may faith in a righteous, loving God (and not fear of wicked man) guide all of his/her actions.
*The only way these kids will ever be safe is if people stop keeping the abuser's secrets and stop pretending the abuse is not happening or this it is not all that serious.
_____________________________
"Blessed is the man...whose delight is in the law of the Lord, and in His law meditates day and night. He will be like a tree planted by rivers of water..." from Psalm 1
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RE: Calling Child Protective Services - 6/18/2008 10:35:52 AM
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Roberta_
Posts: 7000
Joined: 9/28/2007
From: East Bay Area
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quote:
ORIGINAL: shadowspring
*The only way these kids will ever be safe is if people stop keeping the abuser's secrets and stop pretending the abuse is not happening or this it is not all that serious.
Who is pretending that nothing is happening?
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RE: Calling Child Protective Services - 6/18/2008 10:40:01 AM
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manda59
Posts: 6051
Joined: 9/22/2005
From: Hampshire, UK
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quote:
ORIGINAL: shadowspring
Personally I do not see how "only" getting him medical attention for his health issues would be a bad thing. Plus, as long as that is the only complaint, I don't see why anyone would want to retaliate against the family.
Have you ever worked with families who are living on the other side of the law? They don't like other people knowing their business and get very defensive about it.
Here is what is likely to happen if Child Protective Services arrive about the untreated tonsils problem:
The parents will know that someone has grassed them up. The step-father didn't want the boy to go to the doctor in the first place, so he will be angry at both his partner and her son. Then he will be angry at the one who took the boy to the doctor in the first place. And how his anger will come out is unpredictable. The partner could get beaten up, and so could the boy.
Even if he doesn't get violent, he is likely then to ban the boy from seeing the OP again - meaning that the boy has lost his lifeline.
Apart from anything else, shadowspring, the tonsils issue is only a part of the problem, the tip of the iceberg. The boy is scared of his stepfather, and he is being neglected - that is the bigger issue.
What could happen here is that the tonsils issue gets dealt with, but the main issue does not. And the boy could be left even worse off than he is now (ie with no safe place to go).
Btw large tonsils don't necessarily mean infected tonsils. They might just be large. And, providing they're not infected, even large tonsils start to shrink a bit from age 12 onwards.
_____________________________
"Once again....drum roll please! Manda is right"
doinkdom, October 2008
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RE: Calling Child Protective Services - 6/18/2008 10:44:09 AM
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manda59
Posts: 6051
Joined: 9/22/2005
From: Hampshire, UK
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: shadowspring
The only way these kids will ever be safe is if people stop keeping the abuser's secrets and stop pretending the abuse is not happening or this it is not all that serious.
No-one is doing this except the mother and the boy himself.
_____________________________
"Once again....drum roll please! Manda is right"
doinkdom, October 2008
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RE: Calling Child Protective Services - 6/18/2008 11:09:40 AM
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Roberta_
Posts: 7000
Joined: 9/28/2007
From: East Bay Area
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shadowspring - It seems to me that most have said to involve a third party, not to leave it completely unreported.
Also bringing it to a medical professional or a school is a better idea because CPS tends to listen to them better.
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RE: Calling Child Protective Services - 6/18/2008 12:15:41 PM
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sen10tious
Posts: 348
Joined: 4/11/2005
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quote:
ORIGINAL: manda59
OK, I'm a Brit and don't know how your reporting system works.
Explain to me what a full investigation would involve over there in this scenario, step by step.
In this senario, it is hard to predict. A lot would depend upon how grossed out the caseworker would be at the sight of the boy's tonsils.
In my experiences, a full investigation works like this:
Someone anonymous will make a phone call and trigger an investigation. They will assign a caseworker who will go and collect as much gossip as possible from neighbors, many of whom you do not know by name and some of whom you would not recognize if passed on the street.. They will do other background checks too. Then last they come and knock on your door. They will demand to come in but they will not tell you why. Maybe if you were guilty you would be able to guess. When you are innocent you are clueless. If you so not let them in, they become highly suspicious. If you leave them on the doorstep to go make a phone call to your husband or a lawyer, they will break in while you are in the other room; when you protest them coming in uninvited, they will call the cops for back up and say they thought their lives were in danger. Later they will swear to the courts that they had permission to enter. They will not tell you why they are there but if you don’t let them see your by-this-time-terrified children alone, they will threaten to have you arrested. It is not an idle threat. These strangers will ask you very personal questions. If you get the least defensive at this point, they will assume you are hiding something and they accuse you of being a John Gacy. (serial killer & pedophile) You will not be allowed to know what who made the phone call because they “know” you would seek revenge. If you are truly innocent, they will have to extend their investigation because “You are very clever at hiding the truth, but they will find what you are hiding, sooner or later and it will all come out.”
I do not know what happens if you are guilty and they find signs of abuse, but basically an innocent person has two choices at this point. You can tell the truth and maintain you are innocent, at which point CPS takes you to court and asks the judge for permission to mess up your life even further. The judge will assume that a CPS worker wouldn’t really waste his time needlessly and will lecture you about being a better parent so this doesn’t happen again; but now you’ve got a record so they will be watching. Or you can lie and say 'yes, you try hard but sometimes things get stressful;' at which they will write up a “safety plan” you must sign, and pay for a parenting class that teaches how to take a time out. After that, they will stuff your file to the back and whine to the media about being over worked. Either way, they have fully trashed your reputation and if God created you with a B-type personality, you’ll suffer the added stigma of “it is always the quiet ones you don’t suspect.”
In our case, the gossip the first incident planted grew into a second report. That is when things started getting bad. Because of the second report, we learned that the first report had been made by a high school student. We were able to later piece together who it was and that she had wanted to skip a math test, so she went to the guidance office and told a counselor that she was too upset to go to class because she thought someone was beating their child with a belt. We also found out that CPS had falsely documented that case to make it look like they have done additional home checks which never happened, and that they lied about many other things thinking no one who knew the truth would ever see the files.
I won’t talk about the second false accusation because God is going to vindicate me BIGTIME. But I will tell you about how CPS treated the original false reporter. She was told she was brave and good and that it must have taken a lot of courage because I might have done “something bad” to her. She went on to not only skip more classes but also got pregnant and did drugs while pregnant and no one wanted to investigate that kind of fetus abuse.
The three times I have called to report real crimes, I have always been told “there is nothing we can do.” The worst was when my daughter was six-- she was cornered in a little copse of trees about 150 feet from our house by an 11 year-old boy who exposed himself and asked for oral sex. The cop said, Yeah, they were aware this family had problems but since the boy wasn’t 12 yet, there was nothing they could do. CPS didn’t care about protecting my child then.
You all are invited to my turn on Judgment Day when I will stand strong and testify against CPS. Then you will really get to see the Glory of God at work!
< Message edited by sen10tious -- 6/18/2008 12:22:50 PM >
_____________________________
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RE: Calling Child Protective Services - 6/18/2008 12:34:49 PM
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Roberta_
Posts: 7000
Joined: 9/28/2007
From: East Bay Area
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Yeah sen10tious- you pretty much nailed it!
However, it almost always comes out who did the calling. Maybe that's only a privilege that those who are actually guilty get to find out though.
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RE: Calling Child Protective Services - 6/18/2008 12:41:42 PM
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PrincessDonna
Posts: 10433
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: Cow country, Upstate NY
Status: online
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Sen10tious, I can relate to waaaay too much of that right now. We're currently under investigation for a ridiculous charge called in by my stepson's mother (we know this not because they told us...but because we aren't stupid) because we called the police because her house was full of pot smoke one day when we dropped my stepson off. It's been going on for 2 months now, and though I haven't heard anything in a couple weeks, I am too scared to call and find out if the stupid thing has been closed yet...I don't want to draw attention to our case.  They tried unsuccessfully to pull my older son out of school and question him, without my knowledge. The only reason they were unsuccessful is that my son does not go to public school and they didn't know that. The charges have nothing whatsoever to do with any of our other kids...only my stepson. In the meantime, I am stressed, jumpy, having nightmares about my kids (including my unborn baby) being taken away from me. But yet...no one is the least bit concerned about his mom or stepdad's illegal drug use. 
In the OP's case...I don't know. I just don't know. I don't trust CPS as far as I can throw them. They are sneaky and backhanded and then will smile to your face and act like it's all going to be okay.
_____________________________
<<-----------Brian + vacuum= sexy man!! 
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RE: Calling Child Protective Services - 6/18/2008 12:53:08 PM
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Karaboo2
Posts: 2435
Joined: 2/4/2008
From: Ontario, Canada
Status: offline
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I'm with Roberta ... Sen10tious nailed it ...
We are about to start round 4 (or is it 5 by this point) of mandated parenting courses because our DD is bipolar, and any time she has a rage which requires intervention via the hospital crisis nurse, they are required to report to CPS. The investigate, and then refer the family over to a child counselling centre, who has a requirement that you must attend a minimum of "x" parenting courses (which all deal with hyperactive children ... not bipolar!) Then the social worker assigned to the case decides whether or not you have satisfied them, and they can order more courses, or just let you be ... which NEVER happens. So as of September, we will end up having another social worker doing a parenting 'course' with us, but this time around it is SuperNanny style ... she'll be coming into our home a few times a week for 12 solid weeks in order to "fix" our "dysfunctional" family ...
BTW, the social worker can take it upon herself to call CPS again for any little thing ... like being 5 minutes late for a counselling session because you were waiting for a freight train to pass -- and you had called to LET said sw know you were running late for that reason.
This "SuperNanny" approach is being taken because I refused to sign papers which declared I would not physically restrain my child during a rage (she is being weaned off her meds and is becoming violent) ... so because I insist on holding her in one place so she can't attack anyone but me, I'm an unreasonable parent who must take more parenting courses! (Last time dd was unmedicated, she tried to attack her newborn baby brother with a sharp pair of scissors from the first aid kit ... she also tried to OD on tylenol, as she climbed to the top cabinets and unlocked the meds ... we have to keep the key hidden at all times now ... she also kicked out her window screen and wanted to jump off the porch roof) Yet I'm unreasonable for wanting to restrain her!!! 
BTW, this has now messed up any chance we have ever had to become foster parents!!!
I realize all circumstances are different, but you really do have to weigh the benefits versus the negatives of calling in CPS ... they really can make life a lot worse for the children in the household. (BTW, none of the CPS workers in my city have children of their own ... once a sw has a child, they are reassigned to another social service agency for work ... because their opinions become 'biased')
< Message edited by Karaboo2 -- 6/18/2008 1:05:32 PM >
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Kara
Tea Drinkers Anonymous
<-- Caleb
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