Summer Bedtimes (Full Version)

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MyMasquerade -> Summer Bedtimes (6/12/2008 9:01:38 AM)

Do you have bedtimes for the children in the summer?

My daughter doesn't. She doesn't have to get up for anything most days, so I see nothing wrong with her staying up late and sleeping all day.

She finally went to bed last night at 4:00. She is going to regret that today because I am about to wake her up to go to the doctor with me.



manda59 -> RE: Summer Bedtimes (6/12/2008 9:19:47 AM)

In the UK, the children don't break up from school till the end of July, so our "summer break" hasn't started yet.

In the holidays, my two usually stay up quite late, but we tend to draw the line at them being in their own rooms reading or listening to their Ipods by 1am, for the sake of my dh, who is generally asleep by 11.30pm.



pbaribeault -> RE: Summer Bedtimes (6/12/2008 9:25:14 AM)

My little ones have nothing to get up for any day, summer or winter, but I give them bed times for the sake of their health and happiness. A good daily rhythm and adequate sleep go a long ways towards good attitudes, happy days and healthy development. (But yours sound a lot older than mine.)



Tinkerbell_ -> RE: Summer Bedtimes (6/12/2008 9:54:00 AM)

The Things don't have a bedtime but they have to get up and go with me to my mum's house around 6 every morning. They actually don't like staying up too long without an adult so usually go to bed when I do. Sometimes they'll stay up and play a game but that's about it.



garsyt -> RE: Summer Bedtimes (6/12/2008 10:22:11 AM)

Depending upon the activities of the next day, my kids may be allowed to stay up later or they may be sent to bed at a reasonable hour. However during the summer months the reasonable hour is a tad later then during the school year. EXCEPT during girl scout camp week because the girls have to catch the camp bus AWFULLY early!

I try to have at least the youngest 2, 7 and 9 years old in bed by 9:30, most nights during the summer, because they tend to be a lot more cranky the next day if they don't. The older two stay up a bit later BUT they are required to go to their rooms when hubby and I go to bed, only because we can't be sure that they will shut off lights and other stuff when they head to bed!

Blessings,

Garsy



Consecrated2God -> RE: Summer Bedtimes (6/12/2008 12:32:24 PM)

We go to bed around 9:30-10:00pm during the summer, because it doesn't get dark until so late. We all need our sleep and we do a lot during the summer, so we try and keep on some sort of decent schedule. The latest we get to bed is around 10:30 if Jay has a game.



Karaboo2 -> RE: Summer Bedtimes (6/12/2008 12:55:16 PM)

My four (ages 7, 5, 2, 1) are in bed by 7 during the 'regular' school year, and by 8 during the summer ... simply because they end up having soccer right after dinner or something like that, so we don't get home until 7:30. They are up by 6 every morning no matter what (and it isn't me getting them up ... it's their internal clocks)

However, with the issues the kids have (medical), having a set sleep and wake time is a must, and if it gets shifted for whatever reason (like camping with grandparents and staying up for a campfire) there is a horrible rebound effect which happens ... so we try to keep to a schedule as much as possible, year round.



MyMasquerade -> RE: Summer Bedtimes (6/12/2008 1:33:43 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: pbaribeault

My little ones have nothing to get up for any day, summer or winter, but I give them bed times for the sake of their health and happiness. A good daily rhythm and adequate sleep go a long ways towards good attitudes, happy days and healthy development. (But yours sound a lot older than mine.)


She is 10. She will sleep until 12 - 1 in the afternoon. So she gets her sleep. Just the opposite of what she normally would. The only thing we are doing right now is sitting by the pool so really she has no reason to get up early.



2shaye -> RE: Summer Bedtimes (6/12/2008 5:15:23 PM)

My dd, 13, must be in bed by 11. If she chooses to stay up after that, I usually don't know about it as I'm asleep. My daycare kids come at 7:30 am and are usually quite loud. Our summer rule is that she needs to be up and showered before I leave for the park at 10:30.

During school, I try to get her into bed at 8:30 and she can read for 30 minutes. BUT, if she has a project or something, she can stay up until she has it completed. The past two nights have been 11:30. It's terrible!!!! She has three more days of school left......



zoebob -> RE: Summer Bedtimes (6/13/2008 9:15:20 PM)

Mine are sent up and tucked in at about 9. That allows me to have a couple hours to myself to watch what I want, etc. They can stay up and play quietly in their room though. My oldest: 12 is usually the first asleep by 10, then the middle one (10 in July) is usually asleep by 10:30. and the youngest is usually still up when I go to bed at 11.



Jenny-Fair -> RE: Summer Bedtimes (6/14/2008 4:10:25 PM)

Mine actually go to bed EARLIER in the summertime. They don't go to school, but in summer one of them has a 7 a.m. daily swim team session, and he is the one who most needs his sleep (or the rest of us are miserable, lemme tell you!) During the non-summer months (we school year-round..so I never call it 'school year' lol) he doesn't have to get up at any particular time most days.

Now, on Tuesdays and Thursdays they also have Jukido/Karate and so they can't get to bed before 10 or so...and so I do actually tell my teen to take a nap on those days!

I think having a routine (not a carved in stone schedule, but a general rythm to your day/week) is more important than what time you go to bed. If you go to bed around the same time every night, and you get enough sleep, and you get up around the same time every morning, then what difference does it make if that time is 7 or 1 am? Whatever works best for the family as a whole is just as fine and healthy as any other family's schedule.



PrincessDonna -> RE: Summer Bedtimes (6/14/2008 10:04:43 PM)

My 8 yo's bedtime changes from 8:30 to around 10.
My 7 yo's bedtime changes from 8 to around 9:30 (basically, after it gets dark, he showers and then goes to bed).
My 3 year old doesn't have an official bedtime and is a night owl. She goes to bed when the 8 year old does sometimes, or sometimes a little later.
My 16 month old has been going to bed around 9, but he is BEAT by then. It used to be 8, but with it so nice out and light out late, we aren't even in the house at that time! Tonight, he fell asleep drinking his bottle, which never happens. LOL

We get a lot of good family time in during the summer, especially on weekends. It's worth the later bedtimes to me, and the kids do sleep in a little longer in the morning, so that's good too.[:D]



badtink -> RE: Summer Bedtimes (6/29/2008 1:40:10 PM)

Sometymes they do in the summer if they are going to summer school. Otherwise I usually just let them run til they drop![8D]



creationtalk -> RE: Summer Bedtimes (7/1/2008 11:36:33 AM)

We do not vary the bedtime based on the time of year. Because I am a single, fulltime, working parent and I get up between 4:30 and 5:30 every morning, leaving the house no later than 6:30 depending on where my son will be that day, I need to go to be relatively early and my son insists that he be asleep before I turn out the light...which means he has to go to bed first...



pbaribeault -> RE: Summer Bedtimes (7/1/2008 6:38:03 PM)

For a little variety on this topic, I am seeking ideas on how to convince my 3 year old that there is a difference between nap/quiet time and bed time... because there really isn't any way for her to tell.

I'm in Canada, and at this time of year at my location, it is full daylight until 10:00 at night, and twilight lasts until midnight. We start seeing dawn-light at about 3:30 in the morning, and sunrise is shortly after 5:00. So "night" is not dark, and as far as she notices it doesn't seem to ever be dark, no matter how late or early it is.

So for quiet/nap time, she has relaxed boundaries - able to get in and out of bed (quietly & quickly), allowed to have distractions in bed with her, allowed to chat quietly to herself or her stuffed toys, and we don't mind whether she sleeps or not. When she does sleep, she wakes up an hour or so later, and is free to get up. This time is usually from 1:30-3:30 with only about 45 minutes ever being sleeping, if at all.

The problem now is that she is getting bothered at 'bedtime' (full daylight beating at the blind on her window) that she can't amuse herself and stay up like she does at quiet/nap time. Sometimes she (being quiet) does stay up for hours. If/when she does go to sleep, she wakes up an hour or two later, notices that it is still (by every observation) daytime and thinks that it is the end of quiet time, and calls out to be allowed to get up. Or she wakes at 4:00am and the daylight tells her it must be morning!

By the time it is 10:00 and she's still awake (she goes to bed at 7:00 or so) or if she sleeps and wakes up again after dh & I are in bed, she is SOOO tired and fussy that our usually effective strategies end up in meltdowns... which occasionally wake the baby... and we are all just really tired and not coping well with each other. And hot. It's very hot here right now.

The girl is legitimately confused, and I don't know how I can help her grasp this without confronting her nightly with, "No, it's still night time, go back to sleep." occasionally over and over again.

Any ideas?



creationtalk -> RE: Summer Bedtimes (7/1/2008 9:43:51 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: pbaribeault

For a little variety on this topic, I am seeking ideas on how to convince my 3 year old that there is a difference between nap/quiet time and bed time... because there really isn't any way for her to tell.

By the time it is 10:00 and she's still awake (she goes to bed at 7:00 or so) or if she sleeps and wakes up again after dh & I are in bed, she is SOOO tired and fussy that our usually effective strategies end up in meltdowns... which occasionally wake the baby... and we are all just really tired and not coping well with each other. And hot. It's very hot here right now.

The girl is legitimately confused, and I don't know how I can help her grasp this without confronting her nightly with, "No, it's still night time, go back to sleep." occasionally over and over again.

Any ideas?


I don't know if this will work with a child this age, but maybe you could get her a big clock and when she goes into her room for nap/quiet time or bedtime, show her the clock and where the hands will be when it is OK for her to get up (say for bedtime, when the hands are at 7:00 again) or use a 24 hour clock and write the time w/AM or PM beside the clock so she can compare.

Another thing to consider--if she is waking up at night, perhaps you might consider skipping nap time or making bed time a bit later so that she is more likely to sleep through the night.



pbaribeault -> RE: Summer Bedtimes (7/1/2008 10:08:57 PM)

Are you thinking a digital clock or analog (one with a face & hands)? Digital set to 24hr might work... but the analog or 12 hour would be confusing to a 3 year old. (It's fine to get up at 3:30 in the afternoon, but 3:30 in the morning is a problem. 7:00 is bedtime and 8:00 is wake time, but not the first time you might or might not see it, but the later time. That would really get to her.)

Do you write the OK times on a poster or something and put it beside the clock? I wonder if the effort of siting up, being curious, checking, comparing & thinking might just wake her up too far anyways. She'd probably call out to me what she figured out and make me call back to confirm that she's got it right.

She always wakes, sort of (tosses, mumbles, thwomps her pillow, coughs) in the night, but usually the dark cues her to settle in again. I think most kids (and adults) do this. I don't think she's getting too much sleep, particularly now as I've already cut the quiet time by 1/2 an hour and pushed the bedtime back 1/2 hour too.

She often tells us she is tired and wants to go to bed for quiet time or a nap, and she is usually tuckered to the end of her rope by bed time. If we kept her awake any longer, she'd be a monster. She's really sleepy & confused when she does call out thinking it's day time, and if she doesn't melt down, she's asleep as soon as we close the door.



zoebob -> RE: Summer Bedtimes (7/1/2008 10:14:47 PM)

have you tried black out shades or something over the windows...even hanging dark blankets over them



sen10tious -> RE: Summer Bedtimes (7/2/2008 6:47:42 AM)

If I ever get around to writing my "A Crotchety Little Old Lady's Advice for the New Mom" book, the chapter on bedtimes is going to bluntly ask her why she wants her kid to have a bedtime. Of the handful of folks I've talked to, there seem to be two basic answers to that question. One is that the kid needs sleep, and the other is that the parent needs sleep.

If the kid needs sleep, I found our best solution was to emphasize the wake-up time, not the bedtime. If you need a reason to get up; make a chore list. But having a clear-cut 'up-and-at-em' schedule lets bedtimes take care of themselves. Instead of strict bedtimes, we had quiet hours when they could read or draw, or play alone. I found that when kids were having growth spurts, they naturally fell asleep earlier when quiet hours came, and in other seasons they'd read and teach themselves stuff. Mornings had a definite, consistent start time, and by ages seven or eight my kids were responsible for meeting that on their own and without complaint.

The other reason for bedtime – if the parents need sleep – has an answer that goes outside the topic of the OP.



Ellie-Mae -> RE: Summer Bedtimes (7/2/2008 8:49:49 AM)

Well, my kids need their bedtime.

Bed time has been pretty much the same this summer as it was during the regular school year. We don't get any complaints though because they all look forward to bedtime and hate it when we let them stay up. Sounds strange? LOL!

Well, we have made bedtime a time that they look forward to every day. It is when we have story time.

Somewhere between 7:30 and 8pm they all go rushing to get their PJs on as fast as they can. Then they play in the playroom as they wait for everyone to be ready for Story time. When we (and they) are all ready they come in and sit with us on our bed. We read out of the first chapter book (right now it is a Little House book) and then the youngest goes to bed. Then we read from the next book and the next youngest child goes to bed,... and so on until all the children are in bed.

If it is a little on the late side before we get started or we are really tired, we read from a different book and they all go to bed at the same time. They don't mind because they love that book too.

If it is really late, we just say good night and send them to bed. They are always disappointed when that happens so they really try to make sure that they are ready for bed on time. I can't even remember the last time we had to reinforce bedtime. They just look forward to it so much. Story time has been such a blessing to all of us.

My kids are up by 7am because we are just a busy family. Life is too short to waste sleeping. Although, I have been sleeping in as late as 9 (or even 10 once in a while) because of health issues this summer. If I were to list all the things that have been done already this morning it would be quite a list... cleaning bedrooms and playroom, getting dressed, fixing the dryer, scraping the paint off the house, making and baking a full fledged breakfast, etc...etc... etc...



pbaribeault -> RE: Summer Bedtimes (7/2/2008 9:41:23 AM)

Bed time and quiet time are not a battle for us. She gets tired and wants her bed. It's just that later (after 3 hours of not sleeping, or after a short nap) when she's so tired that she's distraught, that she thinks being up would be more interesting and melts down over it. At this point it is clear that she needed to be asleep before she hit that point.

Our morning routine is also in place and runs well when sleeping has gone well... and I suppose some children can logically connect how they feel in the morning with their choices during the night. At 3, it's seems to be beyond her ability to manage herself at 'night' for the sake of the morning.

I don't think it's unreasonable for parents to want to sleep consistently more than from midnight to 3:30 in the morning. Children aren't born self-regulating, and sometimes we need to train them to get used to a pattern that is healthy, good not only for them but for others in the household, and appropriate to our cultural norms. I don't think letting the whims of their body rule them is the answer.



Jenny-Fair -> RE: Summer Bedtimes (7/2/2008 9:51:02 AM)

When Nate was 2 or so, he also did not know the difference, and one evening he decided, in his stubborn little way, that he was not going to go to sleep. When I fell asleep, he was sitting up on his little bed, staring at my alarm clock, waiting for it to go off. When I woke up the next morning, he was still sitting there staring at the clock and to be completely honest, I have no idea if he ever slept that night![:o]

Ok, basically your daughter need some sort of symbolism to help her know if it's day or night. Or, you could get her an alarm clock and tell her that she cannot get up until it goes off, and set it both at naptime and at bedtime.

Oh, and if she is waking up in the middle of the night at the same time daylight is creeping in, cover those windows!



joannepir -> RE: Summer Bedtimes (7/21/2008 5:30:16 PM)

My kids usually go to bed about 8-8:30 during the school year and around 9-10:00 in the summer.



Homegrownkids -> RE: Summer Bedtimes (7/22/2008 8:23:52 AM)

For many years my children didn't have a bedtime. MY DH didn't agree with it!!![8D] His reasoning was... "Why did we have kids if we are just going to send them to bed".... He really enjoyed having the kids stay up as late as us. After a few years of school and me butting heads with him. He finally agreed we could have a bed time. We are still "relaxed" with it, and flexible. But for their own well being they do go to bed at a decent time. Usually 10 "ish" in the summer and 9:30 "ish" in the winter. In the summer they are indoors between 8:30-9. Closer to the school year they will be indoors by 8. In the winter they are indoors (from playing outside) around 7.

Our kids have nothing to get up for either. I try and find things for them to do during the day... chores or activities to keep them busy and I don't let them sleep past 9 because I don't like the habit of sleeping in, that is just my own thing though.

I remember a neighbor lady who was "venting" to me about her parents getting on her children's case about sleeping all day (she had 7 kids, they were mostly young teens at the time, too young for a real job). My neighbor pretty much told her parents that they don't live on a farm, there are no chores that need to be done early in the morning. They stay out of trouble if I let them sleep[;)]



mommyplus3 -> RE: Summer Bedtimes (7/22/2008 8:41:58 AM)

we don't have bedtimes in the summer. my younger 2 (age 9 and 11) are usually asleep between 11 and 12. my 13 yo as a rule is asleep by 2. school starts in about 3 weeks, so we are pulling them back in a little...shooting for 10-11 (which is normal schoolyear bedtimes) [:)]



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