What do you do? (Full Version)

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futuremartyr -> What do you do? (6/12/2008 12:09:08 PM)

What do you do in your marriage to prevent isolation and promote oneness?



evryknee -> RE: What do you do? (6/12/2008 12:14:40 PM)

To prevent isolation of your spouse, self?



fist.sensei -> RE: What do you do? (6/12/2008 12:22:24 PM)

Assuming you are talking about not spending time together?

Find something you both enjoy doing, be it fishing, walking in the woods, bowling, going to movies... and do it once a week. It doesn't matter what it is, as long as you both enjoy doing it.

My wife and I run errands together and we have a good time doing it. We also like to ride our bikes to the grocery store, or to a local market where we'll sit and talk over a beer or a soda.



futuremartyr -> RE: What do you do? (6/12/2008 12:23:39 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: YZGUY

To prevent isolation of your spouse, self?



isolation of self



car2ner -> RE: What do you do? (6/12/2008 3:15:42 PM)

In a nutshell, keep trying differant activities until a few click... You need shared experiences, shared stories, shared dreams. Sometimes it takes awhile to find something that works. Otherwise you'll retreat to your own corners.



evryknee -> RE: What do you do? (6/12/2008 4:19:53 PM)

Why are you isolating yourself? Depressed?



futuremartyr -> RE: What do you do? (6/12/2008 11:50:12 PM)

I'm not but husband used to. It seems like allot of marriages either have oneness or isolation from both people. How can a spouse help if the other is isolating themself? How can one stop themself from isolating themself? Other than activites how can one promote oneness in marriage? What if you don't have things in common, do you call it quits?



evryknee -> RE: What do you do? (6/13/2008 8:22:07 AM)

Isolation, IMO, can be defensiveness, protection against hurt, wall-building, etc. It is so that you will not get hurt emotionally. Promoting oneness in marriage is about taking risks, choosing to love the other person, risking rejection, because it is what you were created to do...love. We best image God (who is Love) when we go and love. When we image Christ, we experience joy because that is what we're created to do and who we were created to be. Read Relationships: A Mess Worth Making by Paul Tripp & Timothy Lane.



futuremartyr -> RE: What do you do? (6/13/2008 10:49:39 AM)

thanks for all the input, I appreciate it.



JEGUINN -> RE: What do you do? (6/13/2008 2:45:04 PM)

My husband and I like to hang out in bed - whether it's in the morning or evening...we don't have to talk, but we love to cuddle. We try to eat together most of the time. We pray together at least once a day (HE INITIATES IT....). Sometimes we leave notes for each other...We really don't have very many interests, either - he likes camping, hiking, hunting, guns...I'm not so much of an outdoorsy type (he could be referred to as the ultimate "mountain man", actually). We did fix up some old bikes and ride them sometimes. Other than that, we really connect in the times we're just hanging out!



futuremartyr -> RE: What do you do? (6/13/2008 9:56:01 PM)

sounds like you both put the effort into your marriage.



tiffywal -> RE: What do you do? (6/16/2008 11:16:02 AM)

We live in South Carolina, so hubby and I like to take walks along the ocean front, have picnics in historic downtown or just go sit in Barnes and Nobles and have fraps and talk. He is a brainy person and likes to watch alot of discovery channel, I don't like that kind of stuff. So we come up with things to just enjoy each others company.



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