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joy2give2u -> RE: Yes Lord your servant is listening. (6/18/2008 3:24:27 PM)
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What a crazy morning.........I have been wanting to come share another way God confirmed to me that I hear his voice.......another way God showed me he does speak directly to me in a clear, quiet voice........
Last weds I met a man. I won't share all the details here since I already posted in my thread dailyjoy about him.
Last night talking to a spiritual mentor to me, sharing all God has been showing me the last week or so I mentioned this man and the experience I had with him. My friends spoke words which I knew in my spirit were truth about this man and why God allowed me to meet him.
Since this thread started with me sharing how I had asked God to show me that he does speak to me, and through out the thread I shared how God confirmed to me he speaks to us, to me, and I can hear his voice I thought it would be a good place to share.
After church Weds night ,I decided to take my dog, Gilbert, to the beach for him to swim.
Walking from the parking lot to the beach I passed a trail head. A man was exiting the trail. Something about him, I don't know what, made me very uncomfortable. He said hi, I responded but was unnerved.
I continued to the beach where I sat my chair in a grassy area next to the beach wall which was about five feet tall. I put my feet on the wall and Gilbert took the stairs down to the beach to swim.
I watched the sun set and moon begin to glow. I talked to God. I explained about this thread, even though he already knew about it, and how I believe I was hearing his voice but it would be nice if he would confirm it in a way which did not require me hearing his voice in my head..........I asked him if he could make it very clear that I do hear him clearly and know when he is speaking to me.
Gilbert came up from the beach, sat next to me and began to whimper. I looked where he was looking and there was the man. He was a little ways down the beach pacing back and forth watching me. When he saw me look at him he began to walk towards me.
I felt something I have rarely felt. I felt danger. I was not afraid but I felt strongly this man was dangerous. My thought.......pray Dawn pray.........so I did.
I prayed God would put a hedge of protection around me and keep my safe. I prayed any harm this gentleman may intend for me that God would stay his actions.
After I prayed Gilbert seemed calm. I didn't feel any fear. I felt protected.
He stopped about four feet from me.
We talked.
He shared a lot of details about his life.
I shared I was there to hear from God
He shared his beliefs. Though on the surface he seemed to be saying the same things I was saying there was something just wrong in my spirit about what he was saying.
After about 30 minutes he moved, walked behind me and sat on the retaining wall by my feet. His hand was touching my skirt.........Gilbert moved with him and sat between the two of us.
As we talked he moved about ever 15 minutes to the other side.......each time he did he walked behind my chair.........I felt really unnerved each time he was behind me and at one point it crossed my mind he could reach out and choke me.
Now you may be asking why did I stay..........No one else was on the beach or anywhere to be seen. It was dark.......why did I stay.
Because even though I felt he was dangerous I felt safe and for reason I didn't think running was the answer. Plus there was something about him which draw me in...made me want to stay.........almost intoxicating.
At one point in the conversation he asked if I would like to come back to his campsite and make a campfire. I said no.
Then he asked may I have your number and maybe we could go out sometime.
I answered........I don't know about giving you my number but I do know God wants us to pray.........is that ok.
The whole time we had been talking to that point I knew God wanted me to ask this guy if we could pray.
We prayed. He began talking about how he is a minister and saying all these very sweet things to me. He talked about how attractive I was to him, how beautiful my eyes were and how I was exactly what he was looking for in a wife.
I kept bringing up the Lord and shared with him how God had been showing me how he speaks directly to us.........he gave scripture after scripture disputing what I said........though the scriptures he said were ones I knew something about the way he said them distorted them and did not feel like truth.
I in return shared scriptures God was giving me and even pointed out the moon and how we are to be like the moon, reflections of the Glory of the Son. He did not look at the moon........I thought that was odd.
He did not look me in the eyes.......I am a huge eye person and I could never read him because he did not look me in the eyes.
We talked for almost 3 hours or longer. I finally said I needed to go home. He walked me to the car, carried my stuff and was a perfect gentleman.
At my car he stood in front of my door, blocking me from getting in, when I tried to move towards the door he would come towards getting too close for my comfort and I would back off.
A few times he leaned close to my ear to say something........I felt so uncomfortable yet at the same time drawn to him.........he had a handsome face and seemed kind, maybe those feelings when I first saw him on the trail and when he was coming towards me on the beach.....maybe those were just my inexperience with men speaking........or maybe I had imagined it.
On and on my mind entertained the thoughts of what he was saying........it was nice to make someones list for once, to be told I am exactly what he is looking for, to be told I am beautiful and a man would be a fool to not want me.........again everything I wanted to hear....it sounded so sweet to my ear.....so tempting to believe.......yet I knew something was wrong.........I knew his words were not truth.
I was so lulled into a sense of security that I gave him my phone number. His kindness for strangers, they way he gave to homeless, let anyone sleep in his church who needed a roof over their head.....the relationship he had with his boys.....it seemed everything he said was something I desired in a husband........and when he told me about the man in the flood who was drowning.......how God sent different means to rescue him but he said no because God was going to rescue him.......then he goes to heaven and ask God why didn't you save me and God responded I gave you this and this but you never took what I gave......he said don't wait for the man you think God will bless you with because if you do you might miss out on the one God is sending you to rescue you........WOW do you know how much of me wanted to believe him. How much I wanted him to be rescuing me.
He let me get in the car and as I was getting ready to leave he asked if me if I would shake his hand. A little surprised at the request I said sure why not.
As he held my hand, his hands soft and gentle, almost caressing I felt pulled towards him.....as though I wanted to go with him, I wanted to believe everything he said.......yet I couldn't because I knew it was all false.........It was fake.....
He asked me if I am close to my pastors. If I talk to them......When I said yes he explained the way he was holding my hand and told me to shake men's hand that way and soon there will be a man who will recognizes the hand shake and that man will have a secret for me....... A secret which will reveal to me everything......(his bait)
I asked what secret..........he smiled.......a different smile then he had used all night.....it gave me chills( not good ones) and then he walked away.
The campground where he was staying was through the lite parking lot and up a short path which is lite..........
It was very late and dark, no one was around and he walked the opposite direction and into the path he had come out of........it a very dark one with bushes and trees covering the trail not even letting moon light in........
The hand shake unnerved me, I called my mother on the way home and we prayed that whatever the handshake was and if it was something evil God would remove that touch from me.
I also called a trusted guy friend to share what happened.
It was weird ....though I knew this was strange and something was really wrong with with what happened.... I felt myself still pulled toward him.
I asked for pray on here and spoke to a few people on CW. They were great and confirmed my gut feeling......I knew I should be very cautious and not answer his phone call if he called but a part of me wanted to more then anything.
sorry this is so long but here is the part which goes with this thread.
Last night when I was talking to my friend..........I was sharing about the man I met and she said.......Dawn the thing which really stands out to me is the contrast. The contrast between how God has been speaking to you.....how you know it is God even though he is saying things you don't want to believe.........yet this guy was saying all the right things and you knew something was wrong.........you knew as soon as you saw him that something was not right.
She talked about how Satan works.......how he tells us exactly what we want to hear, lulls into feeling safe with him and pulls us towards him even though we know what he is saying is a lie.
I had asked God to show me that the voice I hear, the voice I know is his voice, is him in a different way.........
I had thought he had answered by having me defend, in my own voice, that God does speak to us.
Last night I realized what God was really showing me was the difference between God's voice and one which is not speaking truth. Between the soft clear voice of the Lord who may be saying something I don't want to hear compared to the voice that says everything I want it to say yet I know in my spirit it is not safe or speaking truth.
God used this man to show me that I do hear his voice and I know the difference between his voice and a voice offering me what my emotions want........
One of the things which my friend and I discussed was the pull this man had on me.......even talking to her I was fighting the desire to return his voice mail message.........(I had tried earlier, even though people here, who I trust were telling me not to call him) I don't know why......it was like I could not help myself.
This whole experience blows my mind..........the stark contrast between the voice I have been listening to and the one I knew I should not listen to.........The intoxicating pull of the voice I knew was dangerous compared to the soft gentle offering of the voice which I knew was safe to believe.
I could go on and on but this is already too long........
I just blows my mind how God works and the things we experience while walking with him........
Yes Lord your servant is listening. Thank you for showing me not only do I know your voice but I know the voice of the enemy.
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