Reading in Men/Women only folders (Full Version)

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OneOfHisJewels -> Reading in Men/Women only folders (6/12/2008 8:17:13 PM)

Is it wrong to for Women to read the Men's only folder, and for Men to read the Women's only folder? I know the policy is only on posting, and not reading, but when I first got on CW, I tried to never read the men's folder out of courtesy, and then I got curious one day, and read all about what turns men off. Some of the descriptions sounded like myself[:(]. I felt so sad, but then I also realized it was my own dumb fault for reading that folder. So ethically, should we try not to even read the folder set aside for the other gender?



MrFribbles -> RE: Reading in Men/Women only folders (6/12/2008 8:25:14 PM)

I would say it's definitely not morally wrong. Consider this excerpt from the rules:

quote:

Men, you can expect to see women browsing in this folder. If this fact makes you uneasy then you may want to reconsider what you post in here.


It's expected that women will read it, so at the worst, it's morally neutral.

Also, I want to encourage you to not worry about what some men said was a turn-off. All men are different, and there are bound to be some who are attracted to different things in a woman. I can't say for sure, since I didn't read the thread you mentioned, but I'd bet that those "turn-offs" for some guys are "turn-ons" for others!



LCannon -> RE: Reading in Men/Women only folders (6/13/2008 12:07:17 AM)

Probably it's a revelation that both genders have the same apprehension, hopes and dreams of fulfillment, stability and nurture if not the same path.



car2ner -> RE: Reading in Men/Women only folders (6/13/2008 6:05:42 AM)

I will read the Men's Only thread now and then. I find it helps to see things from their point of view. I never read the Ubber personal thread, though. Somethings about men, I really don't want to hear about... especially men I don't really know.

And as far as what is attractive to anyone, it varies. Nothing wrong with taking their ideals as food-for-thought.



Random -> RE: Reading in Men/Women only folders (6/13/2008 6:25:48 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MrFribbles

I would say it's definitely not morally wrong. Consider this excerpt from the rules:

quote:

Men, you can expect to see women browsing in this folder. If this fact makes you uneasy then you may want to reconsider what you post in here.


It's expected that women will read it, so at the worst, it's morally neutral.

Also, I want to encourage you to not worry about what some men said was a turn-off. All men are different, and there are bound to be some who are attracted to different things in a woman. I can't say for sure, since I didn't read the thread you mentioned, but I'd bet that those "turn-offs" for some guys are "turn-ons" for others!



This is more because it is impossible to enforce than anything else. It used to be against the rules to even read in the wrong gender folder, but we could not always tell a member's gender by their name, and it is not possible to "prove" someone was reading if they don't post. Also, if you look at someone's profile and click on a recent post, you don't know what thread that post is in until you get there, so many people ended up reading in the wrong folder by accident.

For all of those reasons, we decided to remove that rule. I would not read anything more into it than that.



agapetos -> RE: Reading in Men/Women only folders (6/13/2008 6:53:55 AM)

quote:

So ethically, should we try not to even read the folder set aside for the other gender?
I don't bother going into the Mens folders. I've posted threads before about 'personal' stuff and, while I appreciate I can't stop a man from reading it, I'd like to think the majority of Christian men would respect the fact that it is in a womans folder and stay away ~ just as I respect the mens folder.

quote:

I will read the Men's Only thread now and then. I find it helps to see things from their point of view.
I figure that if I want a mans opinion on something, I'll post/read in the He Says/She Says threads instead of invading their teritory (sorry, that's how I see it).

quote:

Some of the descriptions sounded like myself . I felt so sad, but then I also realized it was my own dumb fault for reading that folder.
I am really sorry that you got hurt. Do remember what others have said though, that different men see different things about a woman attractive (or not) ~ just as different women see different things about a man attractive (or not). It would be a very boring world if we found the exact same qualities as the next person to be attractive wouldn't it?



elastic -> RE: Reading in Men/Women only folders (6/13/2008 9:22:10 AM)

i do read the men's folder from time to time, and i don't see anything wrong with it. I'm sure they read ours. After what some of them talk about, I have no doubts to that fact.

i think that this thread is probably a good thing to remind the men that we can read what they say....we can read what Christian men really think about women, their looks, their attitudes etc. It's good for them to know that as much as some of them preach in other threads 'be separate from the world' they can go into the men's and talk as if they were "like every other guy" with visual needs, or physical needs or what have you. i can no longer take seriously so many of their posts in other folders because of what they have said about women (and christian women at that) in the safety of their men's folder.

I don't usually read the very personal folder unless i stumble in by accident, and I appreciate the many many men who don't read the women's folder, or who stand up for us when someone has said something very un-Christlike in their posts. There are many good men over there, so i don't want to lump them all into the same category. I do recognize that the majority of them are great Christian men....however, one bad apple as they say.....

so i guess if you don't have a thick skin (and you are a woman) you probably shouldn't read the men's folder at all. some of it isn't very nice, and isn't uplifting to Christian women in any way whatsoever...

but no, i don't think it's morally wrong to read it.



stellaluna -> RE: Reading in Men/Women only folders (6/13/2008 9:28:32 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: elastic
i think that this thread is probably a good thing to remind the men that we can read what they say....we can read what Christian men really think about women, their looks, their attitudes etc. It's good for them to know that as much as some of them preach in other threads 'be separate from the world' they can go into the men's and talk as if they were "like every other guy" with visual needs, or physical needs or what have you. i can no longer take seriously so many of their posts in other folders because of what they have said about women (and christian women at that) in the safety of their men's folder.

Yep.



cow451 -> RE: Reading in Men/Women only folders (6/13/2008 10:32:55 AM)

I check out the womens folders and found it every bit as absorbing as the Lifetime Channel. [sm=aside.gif]



Ps103 -> RE: Reading in Men/Women only folders (6/13/2008 11:50:17 AM)

Unless there is a ticket or a troll in the Men Only folder, I do not go there.[sm=icon_smile_blush.gif] There are things I just don't wanna know.

(And given some of the titles in the Women Only folder--hey, I don't wanna know that, either!)



Kath -> RE: Reading in Men/Women only folders (6/13/2008 1:25:45 PM)

I too, do not read the Mens folder unless there is a ticket. I take care of that post and that's it. I used to not even answer a ticket in mens but Fritz said we can so I do.

I do not care what mens issues are, I'm just not interested. If I was I have my own husband to ask.

at old cw there was a duct tape thread and the women had one of their own, and we'd answer each other in our own thread. It was pretty fun even if some of the guys got bent out of shape. But those days are gone.[sm=popsigh.gif]

I personally think it's unethical for a man to read the womens personal issues and visa versa. I would hope each gender would respect the privacy of the other but I think that is too much to ask.



doinkdom -> RE: Reading in Men/Women only folders (6/13/2008 1:52:40 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: elastic

i do read the men's folder from time to time, and i don't see anything wrong with it. I'm sure they read ours. After what some of them talk about, I have no doubts to that fact.

i think that this thread is probably a good thing to remind the men that we can read what they say....we can read what Christian men really think about women, their looks, their attitudes etc. It's good for them to know that as much as some of them preach in other threads 'be separate from the world' they can go into the men's and talk as if they were "like every other guy" with visual needs, or physical needs or what have you. i can no longer take seriously so many of their posts in other folders because of what they have said about women (and christian women at that) in the safety of their men's folder.

I don't usually read the very personal folder unless i stumble in by accident, and I appreciate the many many men who don't read the women's folder, or who stand up for us when someone has said something very un-Christlike in their posts. There are many good men over there, so i don't want to lump them all into the same category. I do recognize that the majority of them are great Christian men....however, one bad apple as they say.....

so i guess if you don't have a thick skin (and you are a woman) you probably shouldn't read the men's folder at all. some of it isn't very nice, and isn't uplifting to Christian women in any way whatsoever...

but no, i don't think it's morally wrong to read it.


yep

and I rarely go into the women's folder as well



OneOfHisJewels -> RE: Reading in Men/Women only folders (6/13/2008 4:00:15 PM)

quote:

I personally think it's unethical for a man to read the womens personal issues and visa versa


Well, I didn't read the personal issues folder, just in the regular one. Also, I remember one thread where the title specifically requested women to not read that folder, so I never did.



OneOfHisJewels -> RE: Reading in Men/Women only folders (6/13/2008 4:01:31 PM)

quote:

at old cw there was a duct tape thread and the women had one of their own, and we'd answer each other in our own thread. It was pretty fun even if some of the guys got bent out of shape. But those days are gone.



What is a duct tape thread?



solo_soprano22 -> RE: Reading in Men/Women only folders (6/13/2008 5:37:51 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: OneOfHisJewels

Is it wrong to for Women to read the Men's only folder, and for Men to read the Women's only folder? I know the policy is only on posting, and not reading, but when I first got on CW, I tried to never read the men's folder out of courtesy, and then I got curious one day, and read all about what turns men off. Some of the descriptions sounded like myself[:(]. I felt so sad, but then I also realized it was my own dumb fault for reading that folder. So ethically, should we try not to even read the folder set aside for the other gender?


I don't think it's morally/ethically wrong. I don't really care if men read the women's folder or the personal part of the folder, but I've never had an issue with a man wanting to know (or being curious about) female problems or issues, especially if he wants to understand. I understand some women are uneasy with that (and vice versa for the men's folders), but I guess if it'll bother you a ton that a man might read it, consider not posting it or asking one member in a private message.



Kath -> RE: Reading in Men/Women only folders (6/13/2008 8:27:38 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: OneOfHisJewels

quote:

at old cw there was a duct tape thread and the women had one of their own, and we'd answer each other in our own thread. It was pretty fun even if some of the guys got bent out of shape. But those days are gone.



What is a duct tape thread?



a thread extolling the virtues of duct tape.



Qtman -> RE: Reading in Men/Women only folders (6/13/2008 8:36:08 PM)

I have never read the Women only folder. I have had two wives, two daughters and nowhave two granddaughters. I am familiar enough with female issues.

I don't read the Men only folder because I am a man and I have some of those same issues. If I don't already have them I don't want to know about them. I have enough of my own.[:D]



Covaan_Meshuga -> RE: Reading in Men/Women only folders (6/13/2008 9:03:04 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: stellaluna
quote:

ORIGINAL: elastic
i can no longer take seriously so many of their posts in other folders because of what they have said about women (and christian women at that) in the safety of their men's folder.

Yep.

Yeeouch! Then I will never read there on purpose. I don't want to think negatively of the men.

I do wish that the Latest Threads listing on the right side would tell what grouping they are in, because by innocently selecting them, I have accidentally found myself in threads I should not have been in.



PrincessButtercup -> RE: Reading in Men/Women only folders (6/13/2008 10:33:30 PM)

I ocassionally venture into the Mens Only folder out of curiosity. Makes me feel like I'm spying on the enemy. [;)]



DreadPirateRandy -> RE: Reading in Men/Women only folders (6/13/2008 10:56:03 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: elastic

It's good for them to know that as much as some of them preach in other threads 'be separate from the world' they can go into the men's and talk as if they were "like every other guy" with visual needs, or physical needs or what have you. i can no longer take seriously so many of their posts in other folders because of what they have said about women (and christian women at that) in the safety of their men's folder.


Women are no different, mind you. I have seen women equally "trash" men in the same aspect. Don't limit it to a single gender. That disgusts me.

I have been in the women's folder. I don't feel like I'm violating any privacy seeing how the forum is open to the public. Both folders are fair game in that sense. And often have I been irritated at some of the things some of those women say about men. Again, it's not just limited to one gender. It's both of them.



OneOfHisJewels -> RE: Reading in Men/Women only folders (6/13/2008 11:18:46 PM)

Well, in my defense, I have never bashed men in the women's folder that I can recall. Now, I did once share some awful things that certain males in school had done to me, but that's not bashing, that's sharing an experience. And I didn't blame it on all men in general.



armydude -> RE: Reading in Men/Women only folders (6/14/2008 9:21:31 AM)

All the same, I don't normally go to the Women Only folder. A guy could get hurt there.[8D]

But I don't normally go to the Men Only folder either. I blush too easily.[;)]



CoeurdeLeon_ -> RE: Reading in Men/Women only folders (6/14/2008 9:53:09 AM)

I'm not particularly interested in either Men or Women only. And it doesn't much matter if the registered members here are reading or not. Think of the thousands of unregistered guests who I am quite sure ARE reading. If ya don't want the general public to know something, don't post it![;)]



lw9 -> RE: Reading in Men/Women only folders (6/15/2008 12:29:30 AM)

quote:

Kath: I personally think it's unethical for a man to read the womens personal issues and visa versa. I would hope each gender would respect the privacy of the other but I think that is too much to ask.


That covers it for me, too, and I've never ventured into the Men's folder. Those folders say "MEN ONLY" and "WOMEN ONLY" in big capital letters for a reason. I'm not getting where the confusion is.

quote:

armydude: All the same, I don't normally go to the Women Only folder. A guy could get hurt there.


LOL! I've never been to the Women Only folder, and now I'm not sure I ever want to go in!



humbleinspirit -> RE: Reading in Men/Women only folders (6/15/2008 12:46:31 AM)

quote:

at old cw there was a duct tape thread and the women had one of their own, and we'd answer each other in our own thread. It was pretty fun even if some of the guys got bent out of shape. But those days are gone.


Yeah, that was a lot of fun back in the day!

As a general rule I do not read the women's folder at all. Every once in a great while, something will catch my eye, which is harmless and I will go read it.



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