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John_O -> RE: Pegging singles (6/17/2008 10:13:10 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: CoeurdeLeon

quote:

ORIGINAL: John_O


Someone who's never been widowed/widowered can't really say they'd never remarry as they've never walked in those shoes.

You know, this applies to pretty much everything. None of us can say what we would or wouldn't do in any set of circumstances.



I agree with the rest of your post but since there are some absolutes this needs to be changed from "pretty much" to "almost"[:D]



CoeurdeLeon_ -> RE: Pegging singles (6/17/2008 10:14:56 AM)

I knew you'd disagree with that and find it strange since you can see it in one area but not others. In any case, I hope you never have to experience anything that proves you wrong.[&:]



OneOfHisJewels -> RE: Pegging singles (6/18/2008 4:02:41 PM)

[8|][8|]Ya know, in this case I think "almost" and "pretty much" basically mean the same thing.



shemaromans -> RE: Pegging singles (6/18/2008 4:34:53 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: OneOfHisJewels

[8|][8|]Ya know, in this case I think "almost" and "pretty much" basically mean the same thing.

It really depends upon how you look at it.

One could agree with what you wrote.

At the same time, someone else could look at it as such:
"Pretty much" implies almost everything.
"Almost" implies almost everything with specific exceptions.
"Pretty much" can be interpreted as a looser qualifier.



CoeurdeLeon_ -> RE: Pegging singles (6/18/2008 4:48:44 PM)

I'd say my "pretty much" means that I can't think of any exceptions to what I've said. I just rarely make blanket generalizations without leaving room for exceptions that I haven't thought of.


John's "almost" means that he can think of at least one definite exception.



shemaromans -> RE: Pegging singles (6/18/2008 4:51:42 PM)

I'd say that I need to learn to wait for other people to talk about their word choices instead of opening up my big mouth. [:)] I love words, though, so it's difficult at times...



CoeurdeLeon_ -> RE: Pegging singles (6/18/2008 4:59:55 PM)

Well, I'm putting words in John's mouth that may not be accurate. So I'm just as guilty.



shemaromans -> RE: Pegging singles (6/18/2008 5:04:14 PM)

It's a good thing we all understand and appreciate forgiveness then.


...Can anyone connect that to the OP?



John_O -> RE: Pegging singles (6/18/2008 5:51:47 PM)

we're all guilty. Most singles speak before they really think it through (I don't really believe that but I had to peg us somehow to get back to the OP)

CDL's interpretation of my thoughts (in post 30) was exactly correct. I can think of at least one exception



Blazingson -> RE: Pegging singles (6/19/2008 3:35:14 PM)

quote:

Most singles speak before they really think it through (



Everybody does that, not just singles.



ebony101 -> RE: Pegging singles (6/21/2008 4:10:23 AM)

I don't let other's opinions affect me, I don't really bother with their opinions about my single status. However, I don't like it when my single status affects their actions towards me, though. For example, people at work thinking that because I'm single:

1) I have more free time to devote to the workplace than anything else. My response: Ha! finding a spouse is a lot of hard work. I need all my free time, thank you very much.

2) You don't deserve any time off, because you don't have children.
My response: I still have bills to pay and all that other stuff that goes with being alive.

Of course, my resonse isn't always verbal - my actions speak louder than my words.[:D]



chipperchica1 -> RE: Pegging singles (6/26/2008 4:47:42 PM)

quote:


quote:

ORIGINAL: Pauley464

I don't know if this fits the intent of your OP, but I found out at a high school reunion that most of my classmates thought I was homosexual because I am single.

I have discovered that people assume I have a large amount of disposable income and free time to go on mission trips over seas and take part in other special projects.

Some assume that I dislike children or that I'm afraid to make a commitment or refuse to settle down.

Others believe that I spend all of my free time partying.

Still others assume, without asking, that because I'm single, I never have plans for special occasions and I' m willing to serve all the couples at the St. Valentines Day dinner.

It gets really annoying and discouraging.



Oh wow. Yeah and then being a single woman with two cats gives me the honor of being a crazy cat lady. *sigh* However, if I had two dogs...no second thought.

I wish I had the disposable income and scandalous amount of free time that others imagined I did. ;-)



Pauley464 -> RE: Pegging singles (6/26/2008 9:56:20 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: chipperchica1

quote:


quote:

ORIGINAL: Pauley464

I don't know if this fits the intent of your OP, but I found out at a high school reunion that most of my classmates thought I was homosexual because I am single.

I have discovered that people assume I have a large amount of disposable income and free time to go on mission trips over seas and take part in other special projects.

Some assume that I dislike children or that I'm afraid to make a commitment or refuse to settle down.

Others believe that I spend all of my free time partying.

Still others assume, without asking, that because I'm single, I never have plans for special occasions and I' m willing to serve all the couples at the St. Valentines Day dinner.

It gets really annoying and discouraging.



Oh wow. Yeah and then being a single woman with two cats gives me the honor of being a crazy cat lady. *sigh* However, if I had two dogs...no second thought.

I wish I had the disposable income and scandalous amount of free time that others imagined I did. ;-)




Look at it this way. You may be the "crazy cat lady" But at least you aren't one of those little old ladies that wind up on the Animal Planet with the ASPCA emptying your home of 500 cats.



Tinkerbell_ -> RE: Pegging singles (6/27/2008 7:59:07 AM)

No. That'll be me in 30 years. [8|]



Penguinz -> RE: Pegging singles (6/27/2008 3:30:18 PM)

Since my allergies keep me from getting cats, can my house be emptied of 500 fish?? [8|]



LabGuy -> RE: Pegging singles (6/27/2008 3:49:15 PM)

I have a friend with six (!) cats, and two dogs. But she's actually married. (Her husband must be a very patient fellow.)

Go figure. [sm=biggrin.gif]

-Robb



JustJeannie -> RE: Pegging singles (6/30/2008 11:38:06 AM)

I don't know that I've ever been pegged of anything having to do with being single. I have gotten strange looks from people, who see me with my nose stud in and hair spiked, when I tell them I am a church secretary and a mother of a teenager!!!!!!!! *giggles*

I love the shock factor..........[8D]



alisonb -> RE: Pegging singles (7/9/2008 11:18:56 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: tjhinnm

quote:

ORIGINAL: epic74

Been there on that one! I was widowed six years ago (at age 40) and whenever I was talking to a guy about anything at church there were a few women who would casually wander close to us to see what in the world our conversation was about. Since almost everyone in our church is married (who aren't younger than 25), I guess they were afraid this "lonely widow" was going to break up some marriage. It was even worse on the rare occasions the other person was single! It would take them a few years to "trust" me and I just learned to really limit my conversation with the opposite sex to those times their wives were participating. (Ironically the wives didn't have as much of a problem as these particular women which included the pastor's wife.) Of course, the disadvantage was I got so used to being self-conscious when talking to men that when I finally healed and was looking forward to a relationship I had forgotten how to have a normal conversation!


I think this is the only thing that I really truly hate about being single, especially lately. It's as if because I'm single, I'm not allowed to have a casual, TOTALLY platonic friendship with anyone who just happens to be of the opposite sex. Lately this is a real kicker for me - I became good friends with a co-worker at church. We rarely saw each other outside of work...which, given the long work hours, was just fine. He has a wife and 2 adorable kids, so anytime he wasn't working, he was with them....totally understandable. Now, however, he and his family have moved out of state...and for us to talk and share like we used to at work would now somehow be unacceptable. He can still keep in touch with all his "guy friends" who are still here, but not me... I can deal with being single, but losing a cherished friendship....THAT is what makes me lonely and sad.



WaitingforBoaz -> RE: Pegging singles (7/10/2008 1:22:32 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: JustJeannie

I don't know that I've ever been pegged of anything having to do with being single. I have gotten strange looks from people, who see me with my nose stud in and hair spiked, when I tell them I am a church secretary and a mother of a teenager!!!!!!!! *giggles*

I love the shock factor..........[8D]


[sm=purplelaugh.gif] LOL!



thedivabrat -> RE: Pegging singles (7/10/2008 9:33:03 PM)

I have been always been single--a looong time--and it drives me crazy when people ask why I never married. I think that is kinda rude--like asking married people why they don't have children.



simplybeautiful -> RE: Pegging singles (7/11/2008 3:58:43 AM)

I don't like the expectation of living close to my parents until I get married. I think that says that I can't take care of myself. I also don't like the speeches from the people that have been together since highschool about how people are getting married later and later. It might just be because we don't meet our future husband or wife until later. dating older is such a different experience. I don't date much but my boyfriend from my teenage years to my most recent one was so different. my outlook now is very different. Why can't people trust me to make sound decisions even though I'm single?



mutinywxgirl -> RE: Pegging singles (7/11/2008 6:29:47 AM)

Diva and simply - AMEN!!!!!!!

As I've said in other places, I have many of my high school friends and other acquaintances from that time of my life tell me that I'm very smart for not "settling" and just getting married. THAT speaks volumes to me.

My first love (from high school) is 3x divorced and is one miserable person. He has turned away from God totally (he wasn't saved - just attended a large denomination). I am still in contact with his parents, and we continue to pray for his salvation.

The fact that I got saved at 21 means that my views on everything totally changed at that time, and since then allowed God to direct me in my dating life. I cannot imagine God NOT directing me in this area. I cannot imagine God running EVERY area of my life!



GrowinBaptist -> RE: Pegging singles (7/18/2008 12:03:01 PM)

I am fortunate to have support from fellow believers (including my parents) in my single status. I do have a co-worker, though, who insists I am "letting life pass me by" in every area of my life, from not having a relationship to my job. He doesn't understand what it means to allow God have control because although he considers himself a Christian, he is not a true believer. ("And you shall know them by their fruits...") This is coming from someone who literally panics if he is alone without a woman around to take care of him, and also believes that "God is there for us to believe in so we can go to Heaven when we die." Needless to say, he is on my prayer list...and also needless to say, I don't listen to him! LOL

But it can still get frustrating, and as much as you'd like to say that this sort of thing doesn't bother you there are days that it does. The world would like to have us think that we are oddities because we don't have someone by our side...I saw what several of you mentioned what people have thought of you just because you're single. Isn't it awful what people will come up with without bothering to get to know you first? Then again, the worldview doesn't understand how anyone could possibly put their future into the Lord's hands. But take heart, friends...we know Who wins.



Odile -> RE: Pegging singles (7/22/2008 10:41:42 PM)

I've been pegged. Being that I am single (and don’t date [not by choice mind you]) people assume I have a lot of extra income, that I would be a good missionary, or that I should teach Sunday school/attend the nursery so that the parents catch a break.... etc. But I haven't often been pegged by people who really know me, so I'm careful not to take their assumptions to heart. Though I admit, I am sometimes frustrated by them.

I find that, more often than not, the pressure I experience is my own expectations. I do have to deal with an antsy mother (ready for the pitter patter of grandchildren), but over all, I've boxed myself in. My life has not come together as I once imagined; it doesn't look anything like I thought it would. I'm very grateful for this in many ways, but on the other hand, I never dreamed about being anything other than a wife and mother. In this way, I haven't quite figured out how to fully embrace my lone status. PTL I do not doubt His hand in my life, but that doesn't always stop me from feeling disappointed or hurt and even angry from time to time (angry that the desire won't just GO AWAY!)

BTW, I want to thank all of you for sharing your experiences, they’ve been an encouragement to me. There are not many single people where I live, so I’m very much a minority in all of my social circles.



Odile -> RE: Pegging singles (7/22/2008 11:30:26 PM)

OH!!!! And you know what is often worse?!?! The well intentioned, busy bodies of the church assuming that every single, visitor is The One. Poor guy hasn't even attended a second church service/event and the women already have a wedding date planned. So I apologize in advance to any poor single guy who graces our church doors. Be forewarned.



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