RE: Eat It Or Go Hungry? (Full Version)

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JimboFletch -> RE: Eat It Or Go Hungry? (6/17/2008 5:28:07 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Consecrated2God

They are completely different rules, I agree, Donna. I don't agree with the clean-your-plate rule. That's the "go hungry" part of "eat it or go hungry".

Just for clarification: If one of your children didn't want to eat, say, your potato salad, would they be able to eat everything else except potato salad or would they have to go hungry unless they ate a serving of everything?



PrincessDonna -> RE: Eat It Or Go Hungry? (6/17/2008 5:33:26 PM)

My kids could eat everything but the potato salad. I might make them take a bite, just to try it, but wouldn't make them eat it all. They could also have seconds of the protein or veggie part of the meal without eating the potato salad...but not starches. I don't want my kids filling up on starches, and they would if I let them. Diabetes runs heavy in both sides of the family.



Karaboo2 -> RE: Eat It Or Go Hungry? (6/17/2008 5:42:39 PM)

Mine could eat extra salad or whatever ... and I'm with Donna about the starches. Not because of diabetes, but because it zones them out until bedtime, then wires them until after midnight as their energy comes back up!!



MrsTracy72 -> RE: Eat It Or Go Hungry? (6/17/2008 5:44:24 PM)

My little one will eat and drink almost anything. So will my son, but Kali would let herself starve if she felt it necessary. She used to go an entire week without eating. The doc told us to just watch her and that she would eat when she was finally hungry. Now we got her to the point where she will try new things, but not without crying and gagging and all that first. But if she gags it up, we make her put it back on her fork and eat it. I do only put tiny portions of things I know she doesn't like on her plate and then offer her half (only half) a sandwich if she eats them. If the half of sandwich leaves her hungry still, her choices are to either eat what we ate, or be hungry. Ever since then, she has started to eat things like scrambled eggs and pork chops. Chicken is hard but we can get her to eat it.



bzirk -> RE: Eat It Or Go Hungry? (6/17/2008 6:03:22 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: JimboFletch

quote:

ORIGINAL: Consecrated2God

They are completely different rules, I agree, Donna. I don't agree with the clean-your-plate rule. That's the "go hungry" part of "eat it or go hungry".

Just for clarification: If one of your children didn't want to eat, say, your potato salad, would they be able to eat everything else except potato salad or would they have to go hungry unless they ate a serving of everything?


IMO, it's not about what exactly is eaten but more about my child's attitude and obedience. I try never to be unrealistic in my expectations of my kids, and to require that they clean their plates at every meal is unrealistic. Can there be some times when it's appropriate? Sure there can. For example if a kid is determined to overdo how much food they serve themselves even with several warnings, then their might be a consequence of eating everything on their plate and not leaving the table until they do it. I've only had to do this a couple of times over the years.

I do remember when my younger brother continually let his eyes overload his stomach, and one time my mother let him get everything he wanted with the warning that he wouldn't be going anywhere until it was eaten, and if he couldn't eat it, she would put in the refrigerator so he could eat it at the next meal. That only happened once, and he never did that again.



Consecrated2God -> RE: Eat It Or Go Hungry? (6/17/2008 6:09:28 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: JimboFletch

quote:

ORIGINAL: Consecrated2God

They are completely different rules, I agree, Donna. I don't agree with the clean-your-plate rule. That's the "go hungry" part of "eat it or go hungry".

Just for clarification: If one of your children didn't want to eat, say, your potato salad, would they be able to eat everything else except potato salad or would they have to go hungry unless they ate a serving of everything?


I wouldn't make them eat their potato salad. But if they wanted another hamburger, and they hadn't eaten their potato salad, they'd have to finish that first. I usually serve the food, and I give small portions, so finishing a few bites of potato salad isn't unreasonable. I prefer to give small amounts because there's less waste that way.



peculiar_lady2 -> RE: Eat It Or Go Hungry? (6/17/2008 6:26:29 PM)

quote:

Just for clarification: If one of your children didn't want to eat, say, your potato salad, would they be able to eat everything else except potato salad or would they have to go hungry unless they ate a serving of everything?

Depends on the kid (personality) and the age. With our first two it wasn't as much of an issue as with our third...she can't handle things like the others can and we choose often to not make issues out of things that we know she will make issues out of. If she doesn't like one particular part of a meal we don't even put it on her plate...because it will be too much for her to handle. With the others it has always been just a little on their plate that they could choose to eat or ignore. Maybe when she gets to be older she can handle it more, but for now this is what works for us. (btw...she has a lot of other "issues" with food....like she can't handle her food to touch, she can't handle things to be put on a different plate then "her" plate, she freaks out if things are different in any way...like if one time I put things in the wrong places on the plate, she will notice and have a melt down. She is seriously OCD in a lot of ways...just like my mom...only my mom has the wisdom of years of life that my 3yo doesn't have.)



DreadPirateRandy -> RE: Eat It Or Go Hungry? (6/17/2008 6:33:41 PM)

I don't think it's a good idea for parents to enforce starvation when their children refuse a meal.

Just ask this girl.



Roberta_ -> RE: Eat It Or Go Hungry? (6/17/2008 6:51:58 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Consecrated2God

They are completely different rules, I agree, Donna. I don't agree with the clean-your-plate rule. That's the "go hungry" part of "eat it or go hungry".


I agree!



Roberta_ -> RE: Eat It Or Go Hungry? (6/17/2008 6:54:07 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: GrapeApe

I don't think it's a good idea for parents to enforce starvation when their children refuse a meal.

Just ask this girl.


Starvation isn't being enforced.



bzirk -> RE: Eat It Or Go Hungry? (6/17/2008 6:57:03 PM)

GrapeApe's avatar was a clue that it was a joke. Hopefully, I'm not sadistic, but I did laugh when I saw the picture. Then I frowned at the self-abuse -- of the girl in the picture.



Jenny-Fair -> RE: Eat It Or Go Hungry? (6/17/2008 8:33:16 PM)

quote:

if a kid is determined to overdo how much food they serve themselves even with several warnings, then their might be a consequence of eating everything on their plate and not leaving the table until they do it. I've only had to do this a couple of times over the years.

I really disagree with that. I prefer that kids honor their bodies by not overeating. To force a child to overeat is the same as forcing them to throw up--they are both practices of eating disorders, and they both dishonor the body's signals.



bzirk -> RE: Eat It Or Go Hungry? (6/17/2008 8:48:23 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Jenny-Fair

quote:

if a kid is determined to overdo how much food they serve themselves even with several warnings, then their might be a consequence of eating everything on their plate and not leaving the table until they do it. I've only had to do this a couple of times over the years.

I really disagree with that. I prefer that kids honor their bodies by not overeating. To force a child to overeat is the same as forcing them to throw up--they are both practices of eating disorders, and they both dishonor the body's signals.


And I disagree with your assessment that making them eat what they have taken is tantamount to forcing them to throw up, and it is not dishonoring to the Lord to hold my kids accountable for gluttony. Btw, nowhere did I say I force them to overeat. Certainly it is your prerogative to see it that way; we can agree to disagree.



PrincessDonna -> RE: Eat It Or Go Hungry? (6/17/2008 8:52:52 PM)

I would probably be more likely to insist on dishing up a child's plate the next time than forcing them to overeat in that instance. But my kids know we start with small portions and can always go back for more if we are still hungry. I have family members that will make a heaping plate for my 16 month old and 3 year old if I am not around to stop them...I can't STAND that.[:@]



Jenny-Fair -> RE: Eat It Or Go Hungry? (6/17/2008 8:57:38 PM)

I don't think it's sinful to dish up more than you can eat. Everyone does it. To learn that if you overserve you have to overeat, however, is the beginning of disordered eating.

I do think it's wrong to force a child to abuse their body.



Roberta_ -> RE: Eat It Or Go Hungry? (6/17/2008 9:00:35 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Jenny-Fair

I don't think it's sinful to dish up more than you can eat. Everyone does it. To learn that if you overserve you have to overeat, however, is the beginning of disordered eating.

I do think it's wrong to force a child to abuse their body.


I don't know. I have seen kids deliberately over serve themselves and then have to throw it away just because they didn't want someone else to have something.



bzirk -> RE: Eat It Or Go Hungry? (6/17/2008 9:03:40 PM)

I agree that a child should not abuse his/her body. I guess I need to make it clear that when my kids could not eat everything, it was put in the refrigerator and they had to eat it later. But we had an understanding that they could not finish it because they had overdone it. Sorry I didn't make that crystal clear in the original post.



cindybode -> RE: Eat It Or Go Hungry? (6/17/2008 9:17:41 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: DenimDiva

I don't know. I have seen kids deliberately over serve themselves and then have to throw it away just because they didn't want someone else to have something.


Better not be one of my kids! [:@] That is the one thing that will guarantee my kids a talking to. If we are at a church supper, you take small amounts and then go back for seconds if need be, not because I will force them to eat everything they've taken, but because someone else might have wanted that ____ they just threw away. I really do have a problem with overserving, but it's about having some consideration for others who are also eating. They don't have to eat everything they take.



DreadPirateRandy -> RE: Eat It Or Go Hungry? (6/17/2008 9:19:26 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Jenny-Fair

I don't think it's sinful to dish up more than you can eat. Everyone does it.


Depending on the age, I guess.

A child isn't going to know how much they want to eat. They'll look at a portion and assume they can eat the entire thing, but half the time, they don't. It's something they have to learn, how much they can want before they're full. As a parent, you can analyze their good intake and gain a perspective of how much is enough for them.

As for abusing the body, eating non-healthy is the same as eating too much. A person knows when they've had too much, it's their own self-control to stop themselves. A child, on the other hand, has to learn it.



Roberta_ -> RE: Eat It Or Go Hungry? (6/17/2008 9:21:14 PM)

Unfortunately, I have an eight year old niece who over serves herself constantly. She gets to help herself first and there have been times where she has thrown away the equivalent of two or three adult servings while others in the household went without. There is no consequence for her behavior. Overeating a night or two might change that attitude!



PrincessDonna -> RE: Eat It Or Go Hungry? (6/17/2008 9:28:55 PM)

We're getting off topic with this over-serving thing. Let's get back to the topic...whether or not you make your child eat food or go hungry. Someone can start another thread on the other topic if they want.

Don't discuss this in forums, by PM, or even think bad thoughts about me...I'm a mom, I'll hear them. If you have a question or concern, talk to Fritz.[;)]

Thanks!
Donna
Forums Volunteer



Roberta_ -> RE: Eat It Or Go Hungry? (6/17/2008 9:31:14 PM)

I think this battle is one that many parents simply choose not to pick.



Karaboo2 -> RE: Eat It Or Go Hungry? (6/17/2008 9:32:10 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: PrincessDonna
Don't even think bad thoughts about me...I'm a mom, I'll hear them.


LOL ... I say things like this almost every day!!! Thanks for the laugh (it's been a long night!)



Consecrated2God -> RE: Eat It Or Go Hungry? (6/18/2008 8:01:46 AM)

I started a new thread to discuss wasting food: HERE



Roberta_ -> RE: Eat It Or Go Hungry? (6/18/2008 8:07:11 AM)

Thanks Lisa!
I'll check it out.



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