How do I explain to my teenager? (Full Version)

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learninganewlife -> How do I explain to my teenager? (6/16/2008 5:59:47 PM)

I have recently become a Christian and I don't know how to even talk about it to my teenage daughter.
Unfortunately, we have never gone to church, or even talked about any kind of faith. Honestly, until a few months ago, I wasn't sure I even believied in God anymore.
With her being 16, female, hormonal, and having major issues with her bio dad, she already takes everything out on me and seems to get mad at me over nothing. (There are times she has reason, and I am working on those issues!) My point is, I know that even trying to talk about it will ,in her mind , be like I am trying to force it on her.
Since I became a Christian, I have a hard time with the music she listens to and things like that, although I used to listen to most of it as well. It just bothers me now. But I don't feel like I can all of a sudden say "you can't listen to that anymore, or you cant watch that tv show anymore". This is my new life not hers and I know I can't drag her ( or the rest of my family either) with me.
So how do I deal with all these feelings and all the confusion?
I know this post is probly doesn't make a lot of sense and I apologize for that!
Any help would be appreciated!



jbow -> RE: How do I explain to my teenager? (6/16/2008 6:06:13 PM)

I would suggest that you live your faith out in front of her and pray. Maybe she will notice the difference and ask you about it. Ask other people to pray also. That is one of the great things about this faith we live in... we have a living God who listen's and respond's to prayer.

Bless you, and don't fret about it, it will spread to her.. from faith to faith.

Julien



_CANCELLED_ -> RE: How do I explain to my teenager? (6/16/2008 6:21:02 PM)

quote:

I know this post is probly doesn't make a lot of sense and I apologize for that!


On the contrary! I've been there but with a husband when I became a Christian. I was about to try to try to force him to go with me when I was saved but something told me not to do that, to lead, not drag. I let him watch my children and me as we went every Sunday, without even prodding. My new Church family and I prayed about it for 3 months. Then, on the first Easter Sunday after I started, we were getting ready to go when my husband gets this look on his face. I had to ask him if everything was ok. He just said, as if I were trying to keep him from it, "I want to go too". I was leaping for joy inside but I played it cool. I hadn't mentioned it to him but we were having a potlatch after the service. During that, our pastor and his wife came and sat with us and really made my husband feel special and welcomed. He went back every Sunday until we moved away and he, my son, my daughter and I were all Baptized there. He's still a believer 20 years later.

I guess I'm just saying, pray about it, ask your church family to pray with you and believe God for an answer b'c we know His Will is for our best. When people see how God has changed us, particularly the Joy they witness in us, they will often want to know what it is and seek it themselves. God Bless you and I will keep you and your family--particularly your daughter--in my prayers.



_CANCELLED_ -> RE: How do I explain to my teenager? (6/16/2008 6:24:45 PM)

I forgot to suggest something. Maybe you could go to the Youth Pastor of your church and find out when the next outing is--maybe a weekend away. Maybe you could get them to go visit her. The youth are so good about witnessing to their own age-group and can reach some youth where adults can't. I've seen God work wonders through youth groups. Just another possibility.



BibleL7 -> RE: How do I explain to my teenager? (6/17/2008 2:07:31 AM)

Well it is very hard dealing with teen girls yet you might just tell her that you love her and you know you have made mistakes with her in past and just tell her you would like her to consider going to church with you. If she asks why tell her how you came to know the Lord Jesus and you love her and would like her to have a relationship with the Lord cause you care about her. And as was posted above Pray Pray and pray for her and as you put it her bio dad. He could use prayer also. Her being 16 she is in a very rebellious state and if you ask politely that she tone down the music and explain why you have problems with it and that it is probably not best for her to listen to it you never know. But do tell her in a loving and polite way and if she rebels or yells at you dont loose your temper and dont run off crying just politely tell her she doesnt need to be disrespectful and that you would appreciate it if she didnt disrespect you.



hjemerson -> RE: How do I explain to my teenager? (6/17/2008 12:04:04 PM)

All is good advice but also she will need to see the change and understand the reason But agin some rule may/will need to be put in place . if they are not now, as in music.tv start small because she is still under you home and in the long run it may be a way to really show how much you do love her. All the youth I have worked with in the past 15yr tell me They want TIME/Love/ guildline which they see you also living by (doing myself what I say) Pray and have other join you in this pray .The youth of your church reaching out is a great ideal they just must be conceatan. Not just a one or two time thing, Hope Pray she will see how thy live and want to know more!



Butterflytearz -> RE: How do I explain to my teenager? (6/17/2008 3:14:03 PM)

Hi learning

Well the first thing you can do is tell her about Jesus, and tell her that you trust him as your Lord and Savior. That you love her so much but Jesus loves her even more. Tell her that Jesus came to save not to condemn and to give life eternal to the dead.

Then daily walk with God and pray for her . Let your love for your daughter be the reason you speak not to force her to believe but to gently guide her into the truth. I pray that the Lord give you all wisdom and annointing to be patient, loving, merciful, kind , joyful thru the trials you will encounter,

I told my kids that God hates sin,, because he so loves you. Sin has many side effects and like guilt , pain, loss , lack of joy, ect. Yet God will never leave you or forsake you if you love Him for who he is and what he has done.

Its al learning process,, Just be strong in your own faith and be there for them in word and deed.

Its not easy but its all about trusting God
May the Lord continue to bless you each day anew,, as his mercies are new each day.

PS. Don't be afraid to say your sorry to your kids when you mess up. You are not perfect yet.



learninganewlife -> RE: How do I explain to my teenager? (6/18/2008 9:11:57 AM)

ORIGINAL: Won_by_One

quote:

God Bless you and I will keep you and your family--particularly your daughter--in my prayers.


Thank you for that.



Roberta_ -> RE: How do I explain to my teenager? (6/18/2008 9:15:32 AM)

Hi learning and welcome to the boards!!

quote:

ORIGINAL: jbow

I would suggest that you live your faith out in front of her and pray. Maybe she will notice the difference and ask you about it. Ask other people to pray also. That is one of the great things about this faith we live in... we have a living God who listen's and respond's to prayer.

Bless you, and don't fret about it, it will spread to her.. from faith to faith.

Julien


I agree!



learninganewlife -> RE: How do I explain to my teenager? (6/18/2008 9:15:45 AM)

Thank you all for your advice.
I am so glad I found this forum- I have learned a lot already just by reading through things.



dianetavegia -> RE: How do I explain to my teenager? (6/18/2008 9:49:13 AM)

Learninganewlife, you might just start with telling HER what you told US!

Practice some remarks that would not put her on the defensive.

Hey Susie. Wanna hear something wild? Since I became a Christan, the songs we used to listen to on the radio really make me feel weird, like dirty or something.

Wow, Jessica! That show really bugs me. I mean, do they have to show all these people acting like that? I guess, since I've become a Christian, my eyes are more open to what's right or wrong. Do you ever feel that way about something?



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