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spdrgrl.603 -> help for suicides (6/16/2008 9:10:46 PM)
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hi everyone. i'm new here so real quick i just want to let everyone know for now anyway i am no longer suicidal. i use to be a born again christian, 100% devoted, baptized, all that until more than one tragedy happened after another over the past years. i grew up with an alcholic father who loved to use me as his punching bag (then hed go to church and sing "they'll know we're christians by our love! yeah he's using the church to make a phony image for himself), too many deaths including the more recent of a very dear friend who's birthday is exactly one week before mine and he was the same age .... he died at twenty two from a cycle accident, my dad stole all the money i saved up.... etc. i'm saying this becuase i read a post where one christian (i think his name's rob) said he had no clue how a devoted christian could allow" themselves to get to this point. so please dont pass judgement on me or tell me i'm selfish cuz i didn't even give the full details of why i was suicidal... jus a taste. one girl had it harder than me but lost all her money, ten family deaths, and a friend who committed suicide (whereas my friend died in an accident) all in one year.
its a very dark place and after college fellowship i sat and thought there has to be a reason for all this. i failed killing myself so many times and there has to be a reason for all this. i know now i want to reach out and help people who are suicidal. if anyone knows about places in the new hampshire or mass area please lemme know. thanks.
in Jesus' name, Amen.
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