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ladyichigo -> I Don't Understand... (6/17/2008 5:30:30 PM)
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Maybe it is because I was raised in a Christian household, and some what sheltered…and maybe because I grew up knowing, hearing and seeing what God has done, or has not done with people around me, but I just don’t understand how or why a Christian would walk away from their faith. I can’t comprehend…I can’t imagine a life without Christ in my life!! There’s just too much at stake. And, I feel like from the moment that I realized in my own feeble understanding of who God is, I just felt this necessity to obey Him. Sometimes I feel like I’m on a very short leash if you will. The conviction from the Holy Spirit is very very deep, and the consequences I’ve experienced from deliberate and willful sin is severe to the say the least to the point of physical and mental anguish. It’s not like I’m a “holier than thou” believer either. I haven’t reached that point of spiritual maturity where I can always stop dead in my tracks from knowingly sinning. My pride is always in the way…but every day I am humbled and it hurts. I’ve tried countless times to do my own thing, and not listen to the Lord, but He is so persistent and faithful that I always end up running back. It’s impossible to completely turn my back on Him because the Holy Spirit tugs back HARD. I wonder if some of these folks who say that they have lost faith, that they have turned away, are experiencing the same things, or have experienced them, but are just simply ignoring it, passing it off as just “guilt trips”? I’ve had times where I felt angry with God for not answering a prayer, only to realize that He did answer it, just not in the way I wanted. I’ve felt so angry with God I didn’t know what else to do except cry out to Him. Is that what He is waiting for in some of these folks? My heart aches for them, and I know the Lord weeps for them and right now the all I can do is pray for them.
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