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RE: Do you love or hate it when a thread gets heated?

 
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All Forums >> [People] >> Women Only >> RE: Do you love or hate it when a thread gets heated?
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[Poll]

Do you love or hate it when a thread gets heated?


It makes me very upset when people get upset at each other.
  15% (9)
People upset with each other I don't mind, but don't get mad at me.
  10% (6)
I don't get upset, but I don't enjoy it either.
  17% (10)
I think threads are interesting when they get heated up.
  28% (16)
I like to lurk in threads where things might get hot, just for kicks.
  12% (7)
I cause trouble on purpose when things get too dull.
  1% (1)
Other
  14% (8)


Total Votes : 57


(last vote on : 6/28/2008 5:12:49 AM)
(Poll will run till: -- )
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RE: Do you love or hate it when a thread gets heated? - 6/18/2008 7:11:34 PM   
29redballoons


Posts: 764
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: Georgia
Status: offline
I like heated discussions just not personal attacks. I'll admit there used to be one woman on here that absolutely made me cringe when she posted in one of my threads or about any of my comments. She was always negative...she is now gone, but before she left...I noted her and told her she was negative and I was blocking her...oh the power rush of that....it almost seemed a sin I enjoyed it so much! teehee

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Red
Post #: 26
RE: Do you love or hate it when a thread gets heated? - 6/18/2008 7:18:16 PM   
Mrs.Wifey


Posts: 5050
Joined: 4/12/2005
From: The Gorgeous plains of Colorado
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Karaboo2

I'm with everyone who says go ahead and debate ... but lose the personal attacks!!! There are other ways to get a point across without blasting the character of the various posters. So heat it up -- put it over an open flame ... just don't curse at the one holding the pothandle!!


This is pretty much how I feel. I joined another forum where the ladies are wonderful about heated debates and they do get personal, but people don't usually get their knickers in such a wad so it's much more fun.

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Ryanne

Post #: 27
RE: Do you love or hate it when a thread gets heated? - 6/18/2008 7:38:51 PM   
PrincessDonna


Posts: 10230
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: Cow country, Upstate NY
Status: online
quote:

It depends on the topic. I don't like the meaness, drama, and personal attacks. That is not Christlike. Good, civil debate can be productive and thought-provoking. I don't mind that.


I agree with this.

I do get upset when people seem to forget that even if we can't agree, we are sisters in Christ and we need to treat each other as such. Unity in the body is a big red hot button for me. I like being a mod when I can step into something that has gone too far. Some days, it seems like elementary school in here, especially in the women's area with all of our raging hormones.

When I first came to these forums four years ago, I took things too personally. Not that I don't do that sometimes still, but I think I'm better at at least not posting when I'm angry anymore. People have to realize that when they post here, for advice or to start discussion on a topic, they are going to get a wide range of advice. They need to learn, as I had to, to take what rings true for me, and just let the rest go.


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I will sing of you among the peoples.
For great is your love, reaching to the heavens;
your faithfulness reaches to the skies.
~Psalm 57:9-10~
Post #: 28
RE: Do you love or hate it when a thread gets heated? - 6/18/2008 7:52:10 PM   
DenimDiva


Posts: 6340
Joined: 9/28/2007
From: CA
Status: offline
It does bother me to see other people getting attacked. It doesn't matter if I agree or disagree with someone, I don't like to see others attack them. I really don't get attacked that often that I know of. In fact, the last time I remember was probably about 18 months ago. I saw what the person said. I decided to ignore it and go on to the next thread. I came back to that thread about 20 minutes later and a mod had stepped in and taken care of it.

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Post #: 29
RE: Do you love or hate it when a thread gets heated? - 6/18/2008 7:53:11 PM   
Consecrated2God


Posts: 5148
Joined: 4/4/2005
From: Jesus Land
Status: offline
I've always enjoyed a good debate, and just because I disagree with someone doesn't mean I don't like them. My husband took years to finally figure that out. He used to take all disagreement personally, and felt disrespected if I didn't agree with him. We still have times when that happens, but after twelve years he's starting to figure me out. Just the other day he quoted a statistic about the percentage of churches with less than 100 members and I told him that he'd misquoted it, and he was offended that I had implied he wasn't smart enough to remember a statistic.

It's just my personality. I'm not afraid of confrontation, although I do like to be liked so I try not to be too disagreeable in the process. I just like to talk about things, and I love finding other people who are also not afraid to talk about things. Some people get so easily offended that I find myself not saying what I'd like to because I don't want to hurt their feelings. On the other hand, I know people who absolutely hate confrontation. I'm married to one, actually. They just hate any sort of disagreement.

Recently we went to District Council through our denomination, and I got to vote in the business meeting. While I didn't debate any of the issues, I thoroughly enjoyed listening to the dissenters of the proposition. It was just so much fun to watch. I love a good debate.

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Post #: 30
RE: Do you love or hate it when a thread gets heated? - 6/18/2008 7:56:16 PM   
manda59


Posts: 5767
Joined: 9/22/2005
From: Hampshire, UK
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DenimDiva
I really don't get attacked that often that I know of.




Ah yes, you're not aware that we have a separate private forum for that purpose, are you?


Ohhhh, I've spoiled it now!!

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"I love Manda's suggestion to just laugh most of it off.."
Tinkerbell, September 2008
Post #: 31
RE: Do you love or hate it when a thread gets heated? - 6/18/2008 8:04:12 PM   
Mrs.Wifey


Posts: 5050
Joined: 4/12/2005
From: The Gorgeous plains of Colorado
Status: offline
quote:



Ah yes, you're not aware that we have a separate private forum for that purpose, are you?


The other forum I'm on actually has an off "site" forum specifically for nasty comments about people. It's very, very sad.

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Ryanne

Post #: 32
RE: Do you love or hate it when a thread gets heated? - 6/18/2008 8:07:33 PM   
manda59


Posts: 5767
Joined: 9/22/2005
From: Hampshire, UK
Status: offline
Yikes!

Perhaps I should join - take the heat off some of the others there! People would have a field day whining about me! lol

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"I love Manda's suggestion to just laugh most of it off.."
Tinkerbell, September 2008
Post #: 33
RE: Do you love or hate it when a thread gets heated? - 6/18/2008 8:10:32 PM   
Mrs.Wifey


Posts: 5050
Joined: 4/12/2005
From: The Gorgeous plains of Colorado
Status: offline
Lol, they would probably like you. You are their type of woman, which is why I like it there so much. People tend to just tell it how it is and it isn't Christian so there is no "trying to be nasty but disguising it with Christian kindness".

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Ryanne

Post #: 34
RE: Do you love or hate it when a thread gets heated? - 6/18/2008 8:11:47 PM   
solo_soprano22


Posts: 2396
Joined: 4/27/2005
From: I'm a Southern girl
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: manda59

quote:

ORIGINAL: DenimDiva
I really don't get attacked that often that I know of.




Ah yes, you're not aware that we have a separate private forum for that purpose, are you?


Ohhhh, I've spoiled it now!!


What bothers me some is that I'll see people talking about something in one thread, then people go to another thread that's specifically for support to complain about it. That probably doesn't make sense, but I can give a generic example.

If someone mentioned something they don't like with x in a general thread, the next thing you know, in the support thread for x has posts in it talking about this vitriolic post that "attacked" them in the general thread (it wasn't vitriolic in reality, but it didn't agree with people's opinions in the support thread for x, so they decide to talk about it in that thread so that no one who disagrees can reply, and usually the posts in x support thread are quite mean). Mods usually step in quickly, but it's sad to me that we do that to each other just because not everyone is the same way. I can take heated, and disagreement. Things don't have to get nasty the way they do sometimes though.

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Post #: 35
RE: Do you love or hate it when a thread gets heated? - 6/18/2008 8:14:46 PM   
DenimDiva


Posts: 6340
Joined: 9/28/2007
From: CA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Consecrated2God

I've always enjoyed a good debate, and just because I disagree with someone doesn't mean I don't like them.


Exactly. I know that I've disagreed with women in this thread. It doesn't mean I don't like them, it doesn't mean I don't respect them. It simply means that I disagree them.

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Post #: 36
RE: Do you love or hate it when a thread gets heated? - 6/18/2008 8:17:55 PM   
DenimDiva


Posts: 6340
Joined: 9/28/2007
From: CA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DenimDiva
I really don't get attacked that often that I know of.




Ah yes, you're not aware that we have a separate private forum for that purpose, are you?


Ohhhh, I've spoiled it now!!


They have a special forum just for me?!






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Post #: 37
RE: Do you love or hate it when a thread gets heated? - 6/18/2008 8:20:03 PM   
manda59


Posts: 5767
Joined: 9/22/2005
From: Hampshire, UK
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DenimDiva
It simply means that I disagree them.



[panto] Oh no it doesn't! [/panto}

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"I love Manda's suggestion to just laugh most of it off.."
Tinkerbell, September 2008
Post #: 38
RE: Do you love or hate it when a thread gets heated? - 6/18/2008 8:22:13 PM   
DenimDiva


Posts: 6340
Joined: 9/28/2007
From: CA
Status: offline
Be nice or I'm gonna sic my dancing frogs on you!



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Post #: 39
RE: Do you love or hate it when a thread gets heated? - 6/18/2008 8:23:50 PM   
manda59


Posts: 5767
Joined: 9/22/2005
From: Hampshire, UK
Status: offline
Hard luck! I don't do "nice"!

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"I love Manda's suggestion to just laugh most of it off.."
Tinkerbell, September 2008
Post #: 40
RE: Do you love or hate it when a thread gets heated? - 6/18/2008 8:26:23 PM   
manda59


Posts: 5767
Joined: 9/22/2005
From: Hampshire, UK
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: nicole6598
I am hoping the person who picked "I stir trouble on purpose" is joking....




Actually it can be quite invigorating to go into a thread and express a rather controversial opinion, then step back and wait for the feeding frenzy to start!! I'm not afraid of being attacked, and I actually get quite a buzz out of getting people to think.

Or perhaps I am just warped, lol.


(it wasn't me who voted that, btw, I just posted this to be ornery!!)

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"I love Manda's suggestion to just laugh most of it off.."
Tinkerbell, September 2008
Post #: 41
RE: Do you love or hate it when a thread gets heated? - 6/18/2008 8:56:04 PM   
Sideways


Posts: 3292
Joined: 4/12/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Mrs.Wifey
People tend to just tell it how it is and it isn't Christian so there is no "trying to be nasty but disguising it with Christian kindness".


Yeah, but thanks to CW I've learned how to insult people nicely. Oh, I'm just joking... kind of. But if you are familiar enough with a poster, it can be kinda fun to post something that will really get their teeth grinding, but without violating any TOS.

Am I a hypocrite? Probably a little. Which is why I do try to keep myself in a little bit of check.

quote:

And sadly, its the women I think who are the worst at being nasty on the forums.

Women can be nasty, but the men can be just plain stupid. No, I'm not talking about all of them, just a precious few. Of course, say something like that and you get another female telling you that you shouldn't bash men because they are our authority.
Post #: 42
RE: Do you love or hate it when a thread gets heated? - 6/18/2008 9:10:01 PM   
manda59


Posts: 5767
Joined: 9/22/2005
From: Hampshire, UK
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Sideways
No, I'm not talking about all of them, just a precious few. Of course, say something like that and you get another female telling you that you shouldn't bash men because they are our authority.



Actually, I'd say we shouldn't bash men because they're fallen image-bearers too, just like us.

I've encountered plenty of nasty men, and plenty of stupid women. It's not limited to gender.

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"I love Manda's suggestion to just laugh most of it off.."
Tinkerbell, September 2008
Post #: 43
RE: Do you love or hate it when a thread gets heated? - 6/18/2008 9:20:01 PM   
Sideways


Posts: 3292
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Touche
Post #: 44
RE: Do you love or hate it when a thread gets heated? - 6/18/2008 10:25:43 PM   
peculiar_lady2


Posts: 10559
Joined: 2/11/2007
From: Between Hither and Yon
Status: offline
quote:

I am hoping the person who picked "I stir trouble on purpose" is joking....

sadly, I have known people over the years who's sole purpose for being on here was to do that ...seriously...they have actually told me that before.

quote:

Am I a hypocrite? Probably a little.

nah...this is you--> ...hehehe


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Post #: 45
RE: Do you love or hate it when a thread gets heated? - 6/18/2008 10:29:07 PM   
stellaluna


Posts: 4018
Joined: 4/11/2005
Status: online
I don't mind a good debate or heated threads--I've been in plenty of them.

I'll even tackle pretty much any subject. HOWEVER...there are certain people on the boards that I just avoid because they can't have a conversation without condescension or unwarranted and mean-spirited sarcasm, etc.

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Post #: 46
RE: Do you love or hate it when a thread gets heated? - 6/18/2008 10:32:36 PM   
stellaluna


Posts: 4018
Joined: 4/11/2005
Status: online
I do want to add, however, that one thing I've always enjoyed about the boards is our ability to be at each other's throats in one thread and then turn around and defend one another in a different thread. It's interesting to me and I've always appreciated the ability to learn it and take part in it.

I do think it throws the newbies for a loop, though.

< Message edited by stellaluna -- 6/18/2008 10:43:37 PM >


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Post #: 47
RE: Do you love or hate it when a thread gets heated? - 6/18/2008 10:37:01 PM   
InBetweenDreams


Posts: 2709
Joined: 8/22/2007
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quote:

do think it throws the newbies for a loop, though.


Haha yeah no kidding! There's nothing more fun than feeling totally confused when you first start posting.

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Post #: 48
RE: Do you love or hate it when a thread gets heated? - 6/18/2008 10:38:51 PM   
DenimDiva


Posts: 6340
Joined: 9/28/2007
From: CA
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: stellaluna

I do want to add, though, that one thing I've always enjoyed about the boards is our ability to be at each other's throats in one thread and then turn around and defend one another in a different thread. It's interesting to me and I've always appreciated the ability to learn it and take part in it.


I love doing that! It shows that we can be united and unique!

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Post #: 49
RE: Do you love or hate it when a thread gets heated? - 6/18/2008 10:40:29 PM   
stellaluna


Posts: 4018
Joined: 4/11/2005
Status: online
I think God makes a lesson out of it. I've been a bit confused myself a few times when I find myself defending someone I "don't get along with" to someone I don't know. Like siblings, we can be mean to each other, but no one else better be mean!!!

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I'm tired of signatures.
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