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RE: Do you love or hate it when a thread gets heated?

 
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[Poll]

Do you love or hate it when a thread gets heated?


It makes me very upset when people get upset at each other.
  15% (9)
People upset with each other I don't mind, but don't get mad at me.
  10% (6)
I don't get upset, but I don't enjoy it either.
  17% (10)
I think threads are interesting when they get heated up.
  28% (16)
I like to lurk in threads where things might get hot, just for kicks.
  12% (7)
I cause trouble on purpose when things get too dull.
  1% (1)
Other
  14% (8)


Total Votes : 57


(last vote on : 6/28/2008 5:12:49 AM)
(Poll will run till: -- )
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RE: Do you love or hate it when a thread gets heated? - 6/19/2008 3:09:02 PM   
LaurainAL


Posts: 1295
Joined: 8/13/2005
Status: offline
quote:

A lot of these newbies don't come back and I can't say I blame them.


I almost didn't. Someone PMed my husband and asked that I give it another try after some very mean things were written about me.

I like a good debate, but I hate the self righteous banter.

_____________________________

Life Trumps Choice
Post #: 76
RE: Do you love or hate it when a thread gets heated? - 6/19/2008 3:23:29 PM   
TwinCityGirl


Posts: 1112
Joined: 4/12/2005
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Mrs.Wifey

quote:

I will also add that I would MUCH RATHER if someone is mad at me that they tell me in a thread rather than a PM. I got a really rough PM once and I thought that was interesting the person would say it privately to me but not in public. If you're going to be mad, at least make sure the mods can keep you in check.


You can flag a PM, I've done it a couple times.


You know, Ryanne, it is just my opinion here of this, but I have NEVER complained or blocked or reported anyone. I can't imagine I would ever do that.

I would rather someone gets it off their chest than holding in resentment for me because they never said what they needed to say.

I did think it was a little cowardly to come behind-the-scenes via PM and say something to me that she never ever would have said in a thread (because it would have made her look bad). And this was NOT a person I was having a disagreement with. This is one of the chimer-inners who decided I was the bad guy.

But I'm not going to report someone for that. Seriously, it's not like that person's view of me that day seemed valid so I just dismissed it accordingly. (I have learned to get a thicker skin since posting in the Women's folder.)
Post #: 77
RE: Do you love or hate it when a thread gets heated? - 6/19/2008 3:57:28 PM   
Roberta_


Posts: 6929
Joined: 9/28/2007
From: East Bay Area
Status: offline
I have complained to the admin on occasion. I do bear in mind that I don't see everything that goes on when I do that.

I have temporarily blocked people before. It's usually when they've said something directly to me that was hurtful. Usually I remove the block within an hour or two. I do it so that I don't take a chance on responding to them and letting my feelings get in the way.

I do tell people how I feel via pm, but not in a degrading way. There is one person who posts in a Non-Stop One-Stop thread that I disagree with. She's a nice, intelligent and warm person. I would've never known that about her if I hadn't pmed her to let her known that I appreciated her standing firm for what she believes in. Although we don't see eye to eye in that thread, we do get along very nicely in the thread and via pm.

Edited because I meant to say ONE-Stop, not NON-Stop.

< Message edited by DenimDiva -- 6/19/2008 4:13:09 PM >
Post #: 78
RE: Do you love or hate it when a thread gets heated? - 6/19/2008 5:06:52 PM   
stellaluna


Posts: 4219
Joined: 4/11/2005
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quote:

ORIGINAL: DenimDiva
Edited because I meant to say ONE-Stop, not NON-Stop.

Same thing.

_____________________________

Who should be allowed to attend church?
Post #: 79
Do you love or hate it when a thread gets heated? - 6/19/2008 5:08:37 PM   
Roberta_


Posts: 6929
Joined: 9/28/2007
From: East Bay Area
Status: offline
LOL- I suppose they could be!
But I participate in too many of them to not be appreciative of them.
Post #: 80
RE: Do you love or hate it when a thread gets heated? - 6/19/2008 5:28:37 PM   
Roberta_


Posts: 6929
Joined: 9/28/2007
From: East Bay Area
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: TwinCityGirl

You know, Ryanne, it is just my opinion here of this, but I have NEVER .......... or reported anyone. I can't imagine I would ever do that.



I do.

Sometimes I'm sure the mods see the tickets who created them and roll their eyes because it's me again.

I don't do it over every little thing, but when someone is spouting things that are outright unbiblical or attacking another person, I do it.

It's not that I'm trying to be a tattle-tale, I just don't like to see people hurting each other over things like politics. I'm quite conservative, but I don't think that liberals are going to listen to conservative views (or vice versa) any better just because we do spiritual attacks on each other. It looks bad to non-Christians too.
Post #: 81
RE: Do you love or hate it when a thread gets heated? - 6/19/2008 6:23:07 PM   
manda59


Posts: 6015
Joined: 9/22/2005
From: Hampshire, UK
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: Mrs.X
When I first saw the results, I thought it was you who voted that, Manda. Hehehe.




I am SOOOOOOO offended!!








_____________________________

"Once again....drum roll please! Manda is right"
doinkdom, October 2008
Post #: 82
RE: Do you love or hate it when a thread gets heated? - 6/19/2008 6:33:43 PM   
nicole6598

 

Posts: 4101
Joined: 11/3/2006
From: Australia
Status: offline
Christina Manda was the first person I thought of too, but then I thought she is too smart to do that, she would of known that the mods can see, well I knew they could see (Donna has mentioned it before when there was a mistake of voting made somewhere).

_____________________________

Proud Aussie, Wife, Mother, Woman!
Post #: 83
RE: Do you love or hate it when a thread gets heated? - 6/19/2008 6:34:37 PM   
Nicole_Michelle


Posts: 2706
Joined: 8/22/2007
Status: offline
I've never reported anyone. Not that I can think of anyways. If something bothers me I just figure someone else will report it so why bother. The only time I report a post is if it is spam and really perverted. I report it right away so that no one else gets a chance to see the post.

_____________________________


~Nicole~

<-----Genevieve my new siberian dwarf hamster!


For the love of photography - my blog
Post #: 84
RE: Do you love or hate it when a thread gets heated? - 6/19/2008 6:39:27 PM   
Consecrated2God


Posts: 4938
Joined: 4/4/2005
From: Formerly Jesus Land
Status: offline
I think most of the disagreements here happen when one poster will say (about, say a parenting choice for example) "I would NEVER do that!" and then another poster, who happens to do that on a regular basis, will feel judged and say something along the line of, "Well, I guess I must be a horrible mother/wife/Christian then, since I do that all the time, and I happen to like doing that and my whole family likes that I do it that way, too. So there."

I also think it's interesting how on the particular hot topics, people will divide themselves for or against the OP, and then whatever position they've originally taken, they just can't seem to back down from that no matter what information may be revealed later on in the thread. I'm guilty of that, too, so I'm preaching to myself, but when someone finally comes along and posts the definitive post on the subject that pretty much clears everything up, the thread pretty much dies out. You don't ever see the other side coming back on and saying, "Oh, okay, I guess then I was wrong."

_____________________________

<--Plantation house in Louisiana
Post #: 85
RE: Do you love or hate it when a thread gets heated? - 6/19/2008 6:41:39 PM   
solo_soprano22


Posts: 2474
Joined: 4/27/2005
From: I'm a Southern girl
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: DenimDiva

quote:

ORIGINAL: TwinCityGirl

You know, Ryanne, it is just my opinion here of this, but I have NEVER .......... or reported anyone. I can't imagine I would ever do that.



I do.

Sometimes I'm sure the mods see the tickets who created them and roll their eyes because it's me again.

I don't do it over every little thing, but when someone is spouting things that are outright unbiblical or attacking another person, I do it.

It's not that I'm trying to be a tattle-tale, I just don't like to see people hurting each other over things like politics. I'm quite conservative, but I don't think that liberals are going to listen to conservative views (or vice versa) any better just because we do spiritual attacks on each other. It looks bad to non-Christians too.


I have reported people a few times, but I think every time it's been over personal attacks. I just don't see why one cannot strongly (or even vehemently) disagree but remain respectful. Most of the time it's nothing that get that mad over anyway, or just a difference of opinion then the person thinks you're saying they're doing something wrong by not doing what you are in life.

_____________________________

For God, For Learning, Forever.
Post #: 86
RE: Do you love or hate it when a thread gets heated? - 6/19/2008 7:38:20 PM   
manda59


Posts: 6015
Joined: 9/22/2005
From: Hampshire, UK
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: nicole6598
Christina Manda was the first person I thought of too, but then I thought she is too smart to do that,



No, I was not "too smart to do that", I don't even think about the mods when I vote on polls, and had actually forgotten that they can see who voted for what (that is, if I ever knew - hmmm)

I didn't choose to vote for that option to vote for as it is not true for me.

If it had been phrased in a way of not being afraid to go against the flow, or of being direct, or of being contrary for a reason (ie getting people to think), then I would have voted that way. I like making people think/question, especially if it's to question their own preconceived ideas or comfort zones, but it's not my goal to "cause trouble".

If I am anything, I am honest and straightforward. I am not cunning/sneaky, and I don't appreciate it being inferred otherwise.

I chuckled when Christina posted what she did, because I know she meant it in a playful way - also, because she posted it directly to me, rather than about me to someone else. I am actually not so certain about how you meant it. It's very easy for people to misunderstand one another in this medium, when most of us only know each other here, and not in real time. It's too easy to get the wrong end of the stick, to be mistaken about tone/intent, to misread someone because of not being able to see their facial expression, hear their voice or read their body language. I honestly think that extending a bit more grace to one another here, and making allowances for one another, could really prevent some heated discussions getting too hot to handle.

_____________________________

"Once again....drum roll please! Manda is right"
doinkdom, October 2008
Post #: 87
RE: Do you love or hate it when a thread gets heated? - 6/19/2008 7:51:00 PM   
nicole6598

 

Posts: 4101
Joined: 11/3/2006
From: Australia
Status: offline
If I had added a hehe to it would that be better? I wasn't meaning anything by my comment, I just didn't have time to add smilies and laughter. I do think you would be the type of person to want to spice things up and to tease us all in this thread (in a playful way) that's what I meant by it. I too am honest and if I wanted to inferr something about you I would come out right out and say it
And I posted that to Christina because I was agreeing with her, nothing wrong with that is there as far as I am aware?

"It's too easy to get the wrong end of the stick, to be mistaken about tone/intent, to misread someone because of not being able to see their facial expression, hear their voice or read their body language. I honestly think that extending a bit more grace to one another here, and making allowances for one another, could really prevent some heated discussions getting too hot to handle. "

_____________________________

Proud Aussie, Wife, Mother, Woman!
Post #: 88
RE: Do you love or hate it when a thread gets heated? - 6/19/2008 9:59:22 PM   
car2ner


Posts: 2907
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: just north of Florida
Status: offline
quote:

"It's too easy to get the wrong end of the stick, to be mistaken about tone/intent, to misread someone because of not being able to see their facial expression, hear their voice or read their body language.


that is so true. Sometimes I'll get a reply to a post that I have carefully constructed and thought out, just to have the reply make no sense in relationship to the idea I was trying to present. In other words, How-in-the-world-did-you-read-that-into-what-i-posted?????

BTW, disagree with me all you want but don't try to tell me why I do something or tell me what I am thinking. Most likely it will be wrong and exposes what you might be capible of doing yourself.

_____________________________

http://www.car2ner.2ya.com
"May your days be long and your hardships few".
Post #: 89
RE: Do you love or hate it when a thread gets heated? - 6/20/2008 8:54:54 PM   
Roberta_


Posts: 6929
Joined: 9/28/2007
From: East Bay Area
Status: offline
There are some heated threads that I do opt out of. THIS thread is one that I'm probably not going to participating in for a few days or maybe never. I'm still just as pro-life as I've been for the last 17 years. However, they are now talking about killing babies that have been born. I have witnessed a baby die at the hands of an abusive caregiver. Most of the time those comments don't bother me. However, at this time in my life, it's setting up triggers for me. So, that means that I have to give myself a time-out from that thread or run the risk of getting very upset.
Post #: 90
RE: Do you love or hate it when a thread gets heated? - 6/21/2008 12:10:37 PM   
cherish405


Posts: 32302
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: The Land Down Under
Status: offline
It makes me very upset when people get upset at each other. I really don't like confrontation, so I steer clear of it.

_____________________________

*** Gone crazy. Back soon. ***


Post #: 91
RE: Do you love or hate it when a thread gets heated? - 6/21/2008 1:59:21 PM   
solo_soprano22


Posts: 2474
Joined: 4/27/2005
From: I'm a Southern girl
Status: offline
quote:

ORIGINAL: cherish405

It makes me very upset when people get upset at each other. I really don't like confrontation, so I steer clear of it.


Yeah, I know people can disagree without getting upset. But I honestly think there comes a point when a person knows it's better to leave a thread because they may become upset or say something rude/disrespectful to another person because they're upset. I stay pretty calm even when I disagree with someone, but I know some others get very emotional and angered...or put words/ideas in your posts to make it look like you said something you didn't. If one can't be in a thread and not resort to personal attacks, attacks on someone's religion or calling them idiotic in some way, it's probably in their best interest to stop participating. We can all be respectful and realize that we're all different people with different opinions although a majority of us here are Christians. I'm pretty sure I've seen someone tell another that she was less than Christian for not believing the same thing as she did.

_____________________________

For God, For Learning, Forever.
Post #: 92
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