RE: Does your view of God affect your potential list?

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Blazingson -> RE: Does your view of God affect your potential list? (6/20/2008 7:47:00 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: joy2give2u quote: (Sounds so ominous, doesn't it? "The List" DUM, DUM, DUM) Yes it does...especially with your added sound effects........[:D] quote: I've been what you call "lurking" for almost a year before registering to post. Interesting. Why would someone lurk for a year before joining all the fun [:D][:D] I probably should have lurked for a year before getting drawn in........maybe I would have stayed away then LOLOLOL......thanks Rach LOL quote: But going to God in prayer demanding, or even requesting, that a future mate possess these qualities we've set our hearts on, is taking the lead away from God and into our own hands . How is it any different then going to the Lord and praying for marriage in our lives? Doesn't God want us to come to him with our prayer request? Is a prayer request really ever about God in that he already knows what is on our hearts before we pray. Isn't the real reason we pray so that we can come along side God in the request he already knows is there? If so wouldn't noticing how another's heart reflects God really be us coming into agreement with the Lord with what we desire in a mate......since it is Him who opened our eyes to seeing the person the way and he says he will give us the desires of our hearts...... is it possible he does this so that we will be more aware when he brings his chosen person to us? quote: Being the God he is, how could he do less? True thus why I think such a request or prayer is more about us becoming aware of what we desire in a man then our need for God to be aware.......God already knows the desires of our hearts.......sometimes it is us who doesn't. quote: The affect will occur whether we think about it consciously or not. It can't be helped because it's part of who we are .True.......yet does that mean opening our eyes and seeing how we have changed is a bad thing? I posted this thread on a whim......the thought crossed my mind so I posted it without giving a lot of thought to the questions. But as I read the responses and thought about the questions, I was amazed to find how I have changed. The things I use to think were so important are no longer the most important things. As I change and grow towards the Lord my view of him grows and changes.......so does my view of potential husbands. I lurked for so long before being drawn in because I've noticed how down right mean some of the posters can get on the "touchy" subjects. I finally decided to risk it. You are absolutely right about why we pray. But I think there's a difference between coming before God with, "Lord, I really want a wife and this is how I want you to build her for me...(insert 'The List' here)" and "Lord, I really want a wife. I know your character Lord and I trust in your desire to provide me with only the best you have in store for me and I know with all of my heart that she will be more than anything I could imagine on my own. I thank you in advance for the answer to this prayer and request that you keep my eyes and heart open so I will recognize when it comes even if that answer is 'No' ." The latter prayer shows that we are not afraid to come before Him with our requests and, at the same time shows that we really and truly have come along side Him and what He already knows. I have voiced my desire through the relationship that has been built and trust Him to provide only the best. The former prayer shows a desire to maintain control of the relationship. It is definitely not a bad thing to be aware of how we have changed, in fact, I believe that it is essential. If we don't know in what ways we have changed we are in danger of returning to our former ways. What I was pointing out is that, if the change is genuine, the affect is there whether we are thinking about it or not. (No matter what it is that has changed us.)

joy2give2u -> RE: Does your view of God affect your potential list? (6/20/2008 10:56:46 PM)
quote: "Lord, I really want a wife. I know your character Lord and I trust in your desire to provide me with only the best you have in store for me and I know with all of my heart that she will be more than anything I could imagine on my own. I thank you in advance for the answer to this prayer and request that you keep my eyes and heart open so I will recognize when it comes even if that answer is 'No' ." I must say that is one of the most romantic things a man could say to a woman.....I know you were saying it to the Lord.......but to know that he believes you are God's best for him and the answer to his prayer.......and that the only reason you are together is because you trusted God to chose her for you......[:D][:D] I posted a saying in another thread but it is more fitting here especially with your comments. quote: A woman's heart should be so lost in God that a man has to seek Him in order to find her" This is were I want to be when my husband finds me.........my heart lost in God.

Tinkerbell_ -> RE: Does your view of God affect your potential list? (6/21/2008 10:04:03 AM)
In answer to your original post, Joy I think the question I ask myself is, does my relationship with God affect my potential list? And the answer to that question is, yes. Of course it does. There have been times in my life that God and I were not as tight as we are now. Those are the times when I would find myself in situations wondering, "Is this the best it's going to get?" and telling myself it is because I don't deserve any better. I'm not hearing the voice of God telling me differently because I had learned to tune it out. When my relationship with him is stronger, and more connected, then I hear Him clearly saying, "You are my child and for you I have the BEST." It changes my list...it changes what I'm looking for. It changes what I think I deserve. A girlfriend of mine and I flocked to each other as friends because we share the same lack of self esteem, the same "Why would God give me this when I've done that?" attitude about ourselves. I took the liberty of writing the 'Ten Commandants of a Godly Woman' for us to post somewhere we could see it and it really puts things in perspective. Because my Father has a Kingdom, why would His heirs not receive the best their is? That's what I'm holding onto. I could have married years ago but I would have just been 'settling'. I'm not settling for anything less than what He gives me. He deserves better honour than that.

joy2give2u -> RE: Does your view of God affect your potential list? (6/22/2008 1:54:39 AM)
Great Post Tink....... quote: I'm not settling for anything less than what He gives me. He deserves better honour than that. I love the way you look at it here.......He deserves more honor, trust and respect then if we were to settle for less then his best for us. I have to add here Tink....... None of us really deserves what God wishes to give us.........how can we, with all the mistakes we make, even come close to deserving His best.........but that is what he desires to give us.....that is His heart.......and that is very humbling. I also feel I need to add a comment.......... When I first saw the GT group picture my eyes were drawn to you.........you radiate joy and laughter.........you are a beautiful woman....... We can do lots of things to make ourselves more beautiful on the outside but there is nothing we can do to get your glow......except to let God's glory reflect off use........I can see Hig glory in your words and picture.

Tinkerbell_ -> RE: Does your view of God affect your potential list? (6/22/2008 4:41:15 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: joy2give2u I also feel I need to add a comment.......... When I first saw the GT group picture my eyes were drawn to you.........you radiate joy and laughter.........you are a beautiful woman....... We can do lots of things to make ourselves more beautiful on the outside but there is nothing we can do to get your glow......except to let God's glory reflect off use........I can see Hig glory in your words and picture. Awwww...thank you Joy. That is so sweet! quote: None of us really deserves what God wishes to give us.........how can we, with all the mistakes we make, even come close to deserving His best.........but that is what he desires to give us.....that is His heart.......and that is very humbling. It is very humbling to realise how giving He is with His children. It's nice to be loved that much. [:)]

John_O -> RE: Does your view of God affect your potential list? (6/22/2008 6:21:54 PM)
quote: Does your view of the Lord play a role in how you see a man/woman as a potential mate? Yep. It always has. Since I became a Christian anyway quote: Have you found the closer your relationship grows with the Lord the things you thought you wanted in a spouse change? Nope. I've wanted a proverbs 31 woman from the start. But not just that, I wanted a woman who was perfect for me while being a proverbs 31 woman. quote: How does your view of God affect your view of a possible marriage partner? If they aren't a possible marriage partner than they wouldn't be a potential. See answer to question one. quote: Have things which were top priorities on your list been replaced or changed as God reveals more and more of himself to you? Nope. I guess my list was pretty much lined up with what I should have been asking for all along.

John_O -> RE: Does your view of God affect your potential list? (6/22/2008 6:32:46 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Blazingson In fact, i believe that if your relationship is right and you trust the Lord the way you should, there is no list. You would be waiting on the Lord to provide out of His wisdom and love. Instead of telling Him what you think you want and need. While this much is true, God also tells us to ask Him for what we want. Kind of hard to do that if we don't know.

John_O -> RE: Does your view of God affect your potential list? (6/22/2008 6:37:10 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: joy2give2u True thus why I think such a request or prayer is more about us becoming aware of what we desire in a man then our need for God to be aware.......God already knows the desires of our hearts.......sometimes it is us who doesn't. Exactly!

John_O -> RE: Does your view of God affect your potential list? (6/22/2008 6:45:34 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Blazingson But I think there's a difference between coming before God with, "Lord, I really want a wife and this is how I want you to build her for me...(insert 'The List' here)" and "Lord, I really want a wife. I know your character Lord and I trust in your desire to provide me with only the best you have in store for me and I know with all of my heart that she will be more than anything I could imagine on my own. I thank you in advance for the answer to this prayer and request that you keep my eyes and heart open so I will recognize when it comes even if that answer is 'No' ." The latter prayer shows that we are not afraid to come before Him with our requests and, at the same time shows that we really and truly have come along side Him and what He already knows. I have voiced my desire through the relationship that has been built and trust Him to provide only the best. The former prayer shows a desire to maintain control of the relationship. I disagree. The former prayer is bringing your requests before God as he has commanded us to do. If I like (for example) redheads, for no other reason than that I like them, and I deep down would like to marry a redhead, then why would I disobey God and not bring my request before him? It's not about taking control, We have no control and have no way of getting control. God is God and I am not. He will bring me the wife that he wants for me. I still have the duty to bring my requests before him though. I've always believed that God wants us to pray specifically. He wants us to ask him for what we want, even though he knows exactly what we want, and exactly what's best for us. (and admittedly sometimes the two are different)

shemaromans -> RE: Does your view of God affect your potential list? (6/22/2008 6:51:53 PM)
quote: It's not about taking control, We have no control and have no way of getting control. God is God and I am not. He will bring me the wife that he wants for me. I still have the duty to bring my requests before him though. Absolutely true! Just wanted to repeat it boldly. [:D]

WaitingforBoaz -> RE: Does your view of God affect your potential list? (6/22/2008 9:59:18 PM)
Yep, Pray for what you want, but accept Gods perfect will which may actually be the opposite of what we prayed for, or at least very different from what we prayed for.

BugLady -> RE: Does your view of God affect your potential list? (6/22/2008 10:04:03 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: WaitingforBoaz Yep, Pray for what you want, but accept Gods perfect will which may actually be the opposite of what we prayed for, or at least very different from what we prayed for. Very true. Sometimes not even close to what we prayed for.

WaitingforBoaz -> RE: Does your view of God affect your potential list? (6/22/2008 10:07:12 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: BugLady quote: ORIGINAL: WaitingforBoaz Yep, Pray for what you want, but accept Gods perfect will which may actually be the opposite of what we prayed for, or at least very different from what we prayed for. Very true. Sometimes not even close to what we prayed for. [sm=worried.gif]Why the sigh in your siggy? {{{{{{{{BugLady}}}}}}}}

BugLady -> RE: Does your view of God affect your potential list? (6/22/2008 10:37:59 PM)
Aww thanks, Nadine. I'm just waiting for an answer and it's taking a REALLY loooooong time to get it. The sighing smace is kinda the equivalent to the I"m waiting smace.

joy2give2u -> RE: Does your view of God affect your potential list? (6/22/2008 11:22:33 PM)
quote: It's nice to be loved that much Yes it is.....very nice. quote: Very true. Sometimes not even close to what we prayed for. I am reminded of Garth's song......."Unanswered prayers".........thank God for unanswered prayers.......that God wants his best for us even when we don't.......... My view of God changes every day........I am amazed how he loves us so much that each day he eagerly reveals a facet of who he is......... That is one area my view of God has affected my view of a potential mate......God is multied faceted and with each new day I see him from a new or different angel..........I am excited that my husband and I will experience the same .......that each day, if I am willing to look, I will see him a little differently.......I will see a little more of his heart........a little more of his thoughts.......a little more of who he is........ God revealing himself more clearly to me each day gives me new eyes, each day, to see others.........As I daily experience more and more of Jesus.........as I see Him more and more for who he is.......I will be able to see my husband more and more through His eyes.......that is an awsome thought.......... I don't need to pray for what I want in a husband......I don't see the point since I can not see as clearly as God.......I can not see how we will both change, how we will daily know each other better........I can't see all the facets which make up a person .......but God can...... So I trust him to bring the man into my life that he knows will be who I desire now, a year from now, five years from now.......and so on.........A man who God will reveal to me more and more each day of our lives..........A man who matches the desires of my heart as much 40 years from now as he does now.

WaitingforBoaz -> RE: Does your view of God affect your potential list? (6/22/2008 11:31:33 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: BugLady Aww thanks, Nadine. I'm just waiting for an answer and it's taking a REALLY loooooong time to get it. The sighing smace is kinda the equivalent to the I"m waiting smace. Where is the tapping of the foot smiley when you need it? LOL

BugLady -> RE: Does your view of God affect your potential list? (6/22/2008 11:34:56 PM)
Yeah, a tapping foot would work. Pretty fitting too as my right foot taps all on it's own now. [:D]

coinpurse -> RE: Does your view of God affect your potential list? (6/23/2008 12:38:45 AM)
Ive done lists...and now Im with you on that one -lists not at all necessary. Had to be done though...Turns out it helped me know myself a lot better, not for me to recognize future dh cause he matches my list! This has been part of my growth process -coming to realize that i dont need my future dh to like most of the same things or have similar career or anything like that...Im not defined by any of that stuff. Im kind of a free spirit too...its a gift :) and Id need to live w/someone wo respects that gift:) ...That much I know is TRUE! Oops...to answer the question...Yes, my view of God affects my potential list. I had to throw out the list! Frankly, I just forgot about it...when I created the list, I thought I would get DH almost immediately....to this day, nada...no one I know likes or respects country music, that crosses out EVERY male I currently know...I did see a guy today at church who does like country music, and he has a sense of humor, nice smile and beautiful eyes (although they are crossed!!!) and he is seeking after God like crazy...did make me wonder:) but nahhh...see why that list had to go?????...drove me almost nuts. quote: ORIGINAL: Blazingson I believe that if you have a genuine relationship with God and not just being a pretender, it can't help but affect every part of you life. Including your potentials list. In fact, i believe that if your relationship is right and you trust the Lord the way you should, there is no list. You would be waiting on the Lord to provide out of His wisdom and love. Instead of telling Him what you think you want and need.

coinpurse -> RE: Does your view of God affect your potential list? (6/23/2008 12:51:36 AM)
AMEN, SISTER!!!!!! quote: God revealing himself more clearly to me each day gives me new eyes, each day, to see others.........As I daily experience more and more of Jesus.........as I see Him more and more for who he is.......I will be able to see my husband more and more through His eyes.......that is an awsome thought.......... I don't need to pray for what I want in a husband......I don't see the point since I can not see as clearly as God.......I can not see how we will both change, how we will daily know each other better........I can't see all the facets which make up a person .......but God can...... So I trust him to bring the man into my life that he knows will be who I desire now, a year from now, five years from now.......and so on.........A man who God will reveal to me more and more each day of our lives..........A man who matches the desires of my heart as much 40 years from now as he does now.

Blazingson -> RE: Does your view of God affect your potential list? (6/23/2008 12:40:58 PM)
quote: It's not about taking control, We have no control and have no way of getting control. God is God and I am not. He will bring me the wife that he wants for me. I still have the duty to bring my requests before him though. I've always believed that God wants us to pray specifically. He wants us to ask him for what we want, even though he knows exactly what we want, and exactly what's best for us. (and admittedly sometimes the two are different) I agree with you that we have no control and that there is no way of getting control, but that doesn't stop man from trying. Instead of letting God fill our requests His way, out of His love and wisdom, out of His knowledge and grace, we attempt to direct God to do things the way we want them done. I've done my duty to bring my request to God by asking Him for a wife. I cross the line into trying to wrest control from Him by saying, "...and I want her to have long black hair, dark skin, brown eyes, gleeming white teeth, be 5' 10" tall, intelligent, educated, joyful, fun, friendly and a Christian." I am not aware of anyplace in the Bible where we are commanded to pray "specifically". Philippians 4:6 says, "Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God." It doesn't say, "...with thanksgiving, present your requests to God and be specific so He doesn't get it wrong or miss anything." Likewise, in the model prayer; Matthew 6:11 says, "Give us today our daily bread." not "Give us today our daily whole wheat split-top bread with honey smoked ham, swiss cheese, dijon mustard, a dill pickle spear, 20 oz. bottle of Coca-Cola and cheesecake for dessert." God already knows what pleases us. He's the one that created us. Matthew 10:30 "And even the very hairs on your head are numbered." He's going to know both what we desire and what we need, and praise God for the times when they are the same thing. Praise Him also for the times when they are not and He gives us only what we need. The responsibility of making our requests known to God is not about placing an order, it's about maintaining and strenghtening our relationship with Him. I believe we are doing best by making our requests known to God and letting Him work out the details.

joy2give2u -> RE: Does your view of God affect your potential list? (6/23/2008 12:47:08 PM)
quote: God already knows what pleases us. He's the one that created us. Matthew 10:30 "And even the very hairs on your head are numbered." He's going to know both what we desire and what we need, and praise God for the times when they are the same thing. Praise Him also for the times when they are not and He gives us only what we need. The responsibility of making our requests known to God is not about placing an order, it's about maintaining and strenghtening our relationship with Him. Great Post blazingson.........I agree.......I am so glad God doesn't require I be specific since I am continually changing as he reveals more and more of Himself to me. The things I use to pray for in a husband are no longer important to me........ I am so thankful God wants to give me His very best not what I think is my very best....[:D][:D]

Blazingson -> RE: Does your view of God affect your potential list? (6/23/2008 12:54:12 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: joy2give2u quote: God already knows what pleases us. He's the one that created us. Matthew 10:30 "And even the very hairs on your head are numbered." He's going to know both what we desire and what we need, and praise God for the times when they are the same thing. Praise Him also for the times when they are not and He gives us only what we need. The responsibility of making our requests known to God is not about placing an order, it's about maintaining and strenghtening our relationship with Him. Great Post blazingson.........I agree.......I am so glad God doesn't require I be specific since I am continually changing as he reveals more and more of Himself to me. The things I use to pray for in a husband are no longer important to me........ I am so thankful God wants to give me His very best not what I think is my very best....[:D][:D] Thanks Joy. I think that if I prayed for what I wanted specifically, even the Lord Himself would have a hard time keeping up as I change my mind so often.

shemaromans -> RE: Does your view of God affect your potential list? (6/23/2008 1:02:17 PM)
Isn't it possible that praying specifically helps us to understand what God wants for us? Is it also possible that it helps to deepen our relationship with Him when we take everything--even our specifics--to him in prayer? For example, if I'm seeing a man that I think God might want me to spend the rest of my life with, shouldn't I present the relationship to God specifically so that I can know what God thinks of it? Shouldn't I ask specifically for God to give both me and the man wisdom and discernment in understanding God's desires and for God to direct the relationship as he wills it? Is this different from what you're saying? Are you talking about praying prior to a relationship beginning? Just some thoughts and questions inspired by your comments. Thanks in advice for your opinions and to helping me think it through...

Blazingson -> RE: Does your view of God affect your potential list? (6/23/2008 1:37:57 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: shemaromans Isn't it possible that praying specifically helps us to understand what God wants for us? Is it also possible that it helps to deepen our relationship with Him when we take everything--even our specifics--to him in prayer? For example, if I'm seeing a man that I think God might want me to spend the rest of my life with, shouldn't I present the relationship to God specifically so that I can know what God thinks of it? Shouldn't I ask specifically for God to give both me and the man wisdom and discernment in understanding God's desires and for God to direct the relationship as he wills it? Is this different from what you're saying? Are you talking about praying prior to a relationship beginning? Just some thoughts and questions inspired by your comments. Thanks in advice for your opinions and to helping me think it through... I'm not sure it's even possible to know what God wants for us in every case until after the fact. If you will look back on the account of the Israelites time of wandering in he desert before entering the promised land, there were many times that God gave them exactly what they asked for and it brought them nothing but heartache and trouble. But if they let God lead them they were always taken care of. And as far as the example you describe, it is a different thing altogether. Once in a relationship and you are trying to determine if this is the person God has prepared for you, the discernment and guidance you are requesting from God is absolutely essential, but those aren't the kind of specifics John_O and I have been dealing with. What John_O and I are talking about might better be described as "details". John_O presents his request for a wife to God and then "goes into detail" or "specifics" and describes her for Him. In John's opinion he is fulfilling his duty to bring his requests to God by being "specific" or "going into detail". In my opinion, I have fulfilled my duty to bring my requests to God by simply stating, "I want a wife." I believe that God knows what attracts me and what I need. And I trust in His love and desire to provide me with only the best he has to offer. Acknowledging that what I think is best for me may not actually be what is best for me. As I stated in an earlier post, Prayer requests or "prayers of supplication" are not about placing an order with God. It's about maintaining and strengthening our relationship with Him. Only that. God knows what we need and what pleases us. I'm content to let Him work out the details. To do any more than that is attempting to control or dictate to God.

Tinkerbell_ -> RE: Does your view of God affect your potential list? (6/23/2008 1:45:12 PM)
I don't think it really matters if we present to God what exactly we're seeking or not because He knows our heart. And if our heart is directed towards a certain type of person, then He's going to see that.

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