Do you see yourself as others see you? (Full Version)

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KuKu -> Do you see yourself as others see you? (6/20/2008 5:59:14 PM)

Thanks to Consecrated, I have had a thought. I forgive her though, as having one once in a while isn't THAT painful...

Anyway, her 'different' thread left me thinking about how 'different' I am, and how many times people say things to describe me, that surprise me when they are said.

The question: When people compliment you (or they are simply talking about you LOL) are you surprised at what you hear? Do they see things in you that you don't see in yourself? Do they see you differently than how you think you are?

ETA- Why do you think that is?



solo_soprano22 -> RE: Do you see yourself as others see you? (6/20/2008 6:10:21 PM)

In short, yes. :)



Cloak -> RE: Do you see yourself as others see you? (6/20/2008 6:58:08 PM)

Yes I love compliments as long as they are Sincere! [;)]



solo_soprano22 -> RE: Do you see yourself as others see you? (6/20/2008 7:11:03 PM)

I'm not really sure why. I just seem not to see anything in myself of much value anyway. I know there IS something though. I've been that way since I was a little girl.



thedivabrat -> RE: Do you see yourself as others see you? (6/20/2008 9:34:58 PM)

People sure do seem to see me differently. They think I'm funny--and fun to be with--and I think I am pretty boring!



Auben -> RE: Do you see yourself as others see you? (6/20/2008 10:33:01 PM)

People are always going to see you in a different way then you see yourself. They simply have different experiences, see you only at specific times, can't read your heart.

I find myself morbidly fascinated with how others view me and how that differs from my own reality. Over the years it's ceased to bother me (it used to) but it's still one of my favorite subjects. [;)]

Too bad you can't start more conversations with 'and what do you REALLY think I'm like?'


Good to see you Kuku-katchoo.



cheeky_monkey -> RE: Do you see yourself as others see you? (6/20/2008 10:42:40 PM)

In some ways. People think I'm funny, and I think I'm funny. People think I'm pretty, but I don't agree. People think I have my life together, but in reality I don't. I'm busy all the time because I have six kids and work full time from home, so I outwardly appear to have it together but there's really a lot of chaos in my life. People think I'm confident, but I have low self-esteem. People think I'm emotionally very strong, but I get hurt easily; I just don't show it until I'm alone. People see me as forgiving, and I am a very forgiving person.

There are some things people probably see that I don't that are truly there, and there are some things people see that are a big of a facade. I would imagine it's like this for a lot of people. I'm working on changing. It's a slow process.

Lucy



sunshine4God -> RE: Do you see yourself as others see you? (6/21/2008 1:11:30 AM)

Not really.I have low self esteem so have trouble believing others when they compliment me,and end up saying Really,You're just saying that to be nice,or something else like that.



Roberta_ -> RE: Do you see yourself as others see you? (6/21/2008 1:59:48 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: sunshine4God

Not really. I have low self esteem so have trouble believing others when they compliment me, and end up saying Relaying just saying that to be nice, or something else like that.


I'm in that same boat. I tend to let negative things said about me sink in and stay there and positive comments roll off my back. I think we're supposed to do the reverse!



BrowneyedAL -> RE: Do you see yourself as others see you? (6/21/2008 7:52:57 AM)

The short answer is yes, I do...but much less than I used to.

The more detailed answer is that for a large part of my life I was unable to see anything positive about myself. I know that we are (and always will be) our own worst critics...but I went way beyond that. I was very self critical and completely unable to accept myself...the result was not only seeing myself differently than others saw me but living in constant fear that others would 'finally see the real me'. I can't count the ways in which I abused myself (physically and mentally) as I held all that fear inside me.

I believe completely that it is truly only by God's grace that I am even still alive...but His miracles don't stop there...I can be completely honest today, with myself and everyone else, and say that I'm satisfied with myself. Does that mean that there's nothing I would like to improve on and change...of course not, Im all for improvement...but today...I can look in the mirror and feel like that's a pretty good person smiling back at me...and I can't tell you what a miracle it is just simply that the person in the mirror is smiling.



fluffmonkey -> RE: Do you see yourself as others see you? (6/21/2008 10:34:23 AM)

In someways I see me the way other see me...but its usually after someone has said something about me and I look within and see I really am like that...

People see me as many of different things...a postal lady, the girl who doesnt talk, the young lady who seems sweet and nice, the nagging fiance, supportive fiance, the helpful daughter, the annoying daughter, the sister who does everything for you, the sister with good shoes, the young lady who is almost 22 but looks like she is 17, The girl spacing out while waiting in the check out line, the girl who drives that car, a dull person, funny person, crazy person, the lady my son loves, the dumbest person ever, Church girl

People see what they want to see or only see portions of you... but I see me and I dont always like me...

Growing up I really didnt like me I had self-esteem issues and not to mention depression. But now I dont always like me because of the way I act sometimes....but im content with myself

I guess what I really want people to see is that I am a Chrisitian.
(they say eyes are the windows to soul......) So I want them to see Jesus.



sunshine4God -> RE: Do you see yourself as others see you? (6/21/2008 10:44:12 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: DenimDiva

quote:

ORIGINAL: sunshine4God

Not really. I have low self esteem so have trouble believing others when they compliment me, and end up saying Relaying just saying that to be nice, or something else like that.


I'm in that same boat. I tend to let negative things said about me sink in and stay there and positive comments roll off my back. I think we're supposed to do the reverse!


I know but it is soo hard to do.



Prairiehiker -> RE: Do you see yourself as others see you? (6/21/2008 11:27:44 PM)

remember that poster about a duck who looks so serene. To the observer, the duck is easily floating as she goes, but underneath her feet are paddling like crazy.

That's me and. People don't see the paddling that I"m doing. All they see is how easy I seem to have it.



BrowneyedAL -> RE: Do you see yourself as others see you? (6/21/2008 11:34:46 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: sunshine4God

quote:

ORIGINAL: DenimDiva

quote:

ORIGINAL: sunshine4God

Not really. I have low self esteem so have trouble believing others when they compliment me, and end up saying Relaying just saying that to be nice, or something else like that.


I'm in that same boat. I tend to let negative things said about me sink in and stay there and positive comments roll off my back. I think we're supposed to do the reverse!


I know but it is soo hard to do.


Yes it can be...

Something a friend said to me a few months back really struck a chord with me and it kinda falls in line with this mentality. Thought I'd share in the hopes that it has the same 'lightbulb coming on' effect for someone else that it did with me. I had a really bad habit of (sort of) insulting myself...you know the negative little self comments. (I'm so fat, I'm ugly, I'm stupid...whatever) And I got called on it one day.

My friend asked me how I would feel if I overheard someone calling my daughter or my son names...the mother in me immediately bristled and answered (instinctively) that I'd be angry and/or hurt. I'll never forget the point she made next...she asked me how I thought God felt when he heard me saying such horrible things about His child...that when I put myself down that He was overhearing someone talking badly about His daughter...and that someone was ME!

Ouch! That really stung and gave me a whole new outlook on how I treated and viewed myself...and what it said about my respect for my loving Heavenly Father.



thedivabrat -> RE: Do you see yourself as others see you? (6/22/2008 4:02:37 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: Prairiehiker

remember that poster about a duck who looks so serene. To the observer, the duck is easily floating as she goes, but underneath her feet are paddling like crazy.

That's me and. People don't see the paddling that I"m doing. All they see is how easy I seem to have it.


Same here--people always comment on how calm I am and how "stuff" doesn't bother me--if they could see the insid.e they would know that at times it takes all I've got to keep all together



MrsTracy72 -> RE: Do you see yourself as others see you? (6/22/2008 4:50:22 PM)

I don't know how to answer that one. Sometimes I see myself as others see me, but not very often, and usually it is when someone is telling me something that isn't very nice. But I do know that there are things that I am good at and when people compliment me on them, I do see it as a true compliment. But I also live around a bunch of very shallow people who say what they think others want to hear, so when it comes from them, I do have a very hard time accepting any compliments from them because then I always wait for them to ask me for something or to do something for them.

I also have a hard time when people compliment me on my looks or how well I did something because I just don't see myself as very pretty and I also don't see myself as very talented at much of anything.

I know I can bake and cook and plan parties. I am very good at planning and executing the social things which is pretty funny because in the end, the one reason I always end up doing those things is because I am not social in that way and hiding in the kitchen is still my way of being part of things, but keeping busy enough not to have to deal with too many people.



cheeky_monkey -> RE: Do you see yourself as others see you? (6/22/2008 6:36:57 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: MrsTracy72


I also have a hard time when people compliment me on my looks or how well I did something because I just don't see myself as very pretty and I also don't see myself as very talented at much of anything.


This is how I am, although I'm much better now at accepting the compliment than I was in the past.

I also don't see myself as very talented. I mean, I can type really fast, but I'm not sure many would see that as a talent, lol. I guess it kind of is, but there isn't much I can do with it except my job. I'm funny and can make people laugh, but that's more of a personality thing than a talent.



sunshine4God -> RE: Do you see yourself as others see you? (6/22/2008 10:11:39 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: BrowneyedAL
Yes it can be...

Something a friend said to me a few months back really struck a chord with me and it kinda falls in line with this mentality. Thought I'd share in the hopes that it has the same 'lightbulb coming on' effect for someone else that it did with me. I had a really bad habit of (sort of) insulting myself...you know the negative little self comments. (I'm so fat, I'm ugly, I'm stupid...whatever) And I got called on it one day.

My friend asked me how I would feel if I overheard someone calling my daughter or my son names...the mother in me immediately bristled and answered (instinctively) that I'd be angry and/or hurt. I'll never forget the point she made next...she asked me how I thought God felt when he heard me saying such horrible things about His child...that when I put myself down that He was overhearing someone talking badly about His daughter...and that someone was ME!

Ouch! That really stung and gave me a whole new outlook on how I treated and viewed myself...and what it said about my respect for my loving Heavenly Father.


Thanks so much for that example.It really spoke to me and made me think how God must feel when I put myself down.I will keep this story in mind for sure.Thanks soo much!



BrowneyedAL -> RE: Do you see yourself as others see you? (6/23/2008 12:24:40 AM)

You're welcome Sunshine...I knew that it really spoke to me and convicted me in my heart. I honestly believe that perspective was a turning point for me...I would have never treated another person the way I treated/talked about myself, even if I didn't have respect for them as an individual...simply because I respected them as God's creation...yet somehow I hadn't been applying the same logic to my own self.



sunshine4God -> RE: Do you see yourself as others see you? (6/23/2008 10:02:01 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: BrowneyedAL

You're welcome Sunshine...I knew that it really spoke to me and convicted me in my heart. I honestly believe that perspective was a turning point for me...I would have never treated another person the way I treated/talked about myself, even if I didn't have respect for them as an individual...simply because I respected them as God's creation...yet somehow I hadn't been applying the same logic to my own self.


I agree totally!



HisCovenant -> RE: Do you see yourself as others see you? (6/23/2008 10:46:09 AM)

I think most people see me as I am, although there are some who don't get close enough to get past assumptions. I find some of their comments funny.

There have been times when someone has insightfully shared something with me about myself that I was blind to. I notice others who are blind to certain aspects about themselves, and I find it super interesting the way we lie to ourselves and others, yet others can see us for who we are. Our culture tells us that we know ourselves best, and I find that isn't always true.



Covaan_Meshuga -> RE: Do you see yourself as others see you? (6/23/2008 2:47:46 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: KuKu
When people compliment you (or they are simply talking about you LOL) are you surprised at what you hear? Do they see things in you that you don't see in yourself? Do they see you differently than how you think you are?

ETA- Why do you think that is?

ALWAYS! Then, at other times, I am surprised then, too. Then there are times when I am surprised. At other times, I am surprised.

I see myself as the proverbial bull in the china shop. All the time. I spend more time taking one foot or another out of my mouth than I can express, thus the toe jam on my teeth.



Tinkerbell_ -> RE: Do you see yourself as others see you? (6/23/2008 4:22:42 PM)

Yes! I had someone recently tell me I was beautiful with such a 'glow' and joy about me.

Ummm...I am??? I do????

It does surprise me because I just don't see that about myself. At all. [8D]



_Cinderella_ -> RE: Do you see yourself as others see you? (6/25/2008 12:50:50 PM)

I am surprised when people tell me I look happy or that I smile all the time. I think my face smiles by itself, because honestly I am not that happy most the time... especially at my super boring job.



Roberta_ -> RE: Do you see yourself as others see you? (6/25/2008 1:35:23 PM)

I've had people tell me that I look sad before. It's not that I'm sad, my mouth is just shaped that way. They are complete strangers. I find it very rude. I don't go up to them and say "You look fat today" or "You look old today."



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