Men, Women and Sexual Lust

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WesleyGlenn -> Men, Women and Sexual Lust (6/20/2008 11:02:54 PM)
I know that this topic may raise some eyebrows, but I'm trying to get to some real truth here. How many of you struggle in this area? I, for one, find myself in a battle at times to control my thought life and wandering eye. I love my wife and children and would not purposely hurt them in any way. But this is a strong demon to have to deal with, the lust demon that is, and it can cause problems in your life in many ways. It seems that no matter where I go Satan has (in my case) atleast one, if not many, attractive women all up in my face with "the look". Guys, you know what I'm talking about. That "helllllo" look. Shoot, I can be in church and Satan will have a girl in tight jeans and a low-cut shirt decide they want to be right in front of me when they've never sat anywhere near that spot before. I'll move just so they are not in my line of sight. I can be on soundclick.com looking for beats and the next thing I know, there's a picture of some half naked girls on the screen. This mess is everywhere. TV, Billboards, Internet, Church. No matter where you go, there's always something. It is truly a daily struggle and sometimes more frequent of a struggle in my thoughts. I read the Word and pray every day, but this is still a battle in my life. James Chapter 5 verse 16 says, "Confess your trespasses to one another, and pray for one another, that you may be healed." I feel like this is a way of getting this off of my chest in a healthy environment. I also would like to take an opportunity with this thread to create a prayer group of sorts. That maybe the people who read this and understand what I'm talking about would like to stand together in prayer for one another on this situation. God knows no bounds, so I'm certain that the awesome power of God will show forth in people's lives through this.

armydude -> RE: Men, Women and Sexual Lust (6/20/2008 11:08:37 PM)
I have this issue too. I've gone so far as to distance myself from women that dress like that, but at times the mind does wander... I get a mental picture of taking every thought literally captive, and bringing them to Christ for His approval. If He don't get it, I move on. Easier to picture than to do sometimes...

ChristopherJ -> RE: Men, Women and Sexual Lust (6/20/2008 11:10:08 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: WesleyGlenn I know that this topic may raise some eyebrows, but I'm trying to get to some real truth here. How many of you struggle in this area? I, for one, find myself in a battle at times to control my thought life and wandering eye. I love my wife and children and would not purposely hurt them in any way. But this is a strong demon to have to deal with, the lust demon that is, and it can cause problems in your life in many ways. It seems that no matter where I go Satan has (in my case) atleast one, if not many, attractive women all up in my face with "the look". Guys, you know what I'm talking about. That "helllllo" look. Shoot, I can be in church and Satan will have a girl in tight jeans and a low-cut shirt decide they want to be right in front of me when they've never sat anywhere near that spot before. I'll move just so they are not in my line of sight. I can be on soundclick.com looking for beats and the next thing I know, there's a picture of some half naked girls on the screen. This mess is everywhere. TV, Billboards, Internet, Church. No matter where you go, there's always something. It is truly a daily struggle and sometimes more frequent of a struggle in my thoughts. I read the Word and pray every day, but this is still a battle in my life. James Chapter 5 verse 16 says, "Confess your trespasses to one another, and pray for one another, that you may be healed." I feel like this is a way of getting this off of my chest in a healthy environment. I also would like to take an opportunity with this thread to create a prayer group of sorts. That maybe the people who read this and understand what I'm talking about would like to stand together in prayer for one another on this situation. God knows no bounds, so I'm certain that the awesome power of God will show forth in people's lives through this. Wesley, First of all, let me commend you for having the guts to share your struggles in a public forum like this - that's a great start! However, I think within the context of the Scripture you quoted from James, you will find more help, hope and support from a brother in Christ at your church, rather than strangers on an internet forum. I believe strongly in the importance of accountability, and would encourage you to find someone you trust, share your struggles with him, and pray together, and give him the freedom to hold you accountable and speak into your life. If you feel like your lust is out of control, might I suggest a great website? http://www.settingcaptivesfree.com/home/ has online courses to help people find freedom from sexual sins, alcohol, smoking, overeating, gambling and more. Hope that helps!

WesleyGlenn -> RE: Men, Women and Sexual Lust (6/20/2008 11:18:02 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: ChristopherJ First of all, let me commend you for having the guts to share your struggles in a public forum like this - that's a great start! However, I think within the context of the Scripture you quoted from James, you will find more help, hope and support from a brother in Christ at your church, rather than strangers on an internet forum. I believe strongly in the importance of accountability, and would encourage you to find someone you trust, share your struggles with him, and pray together, and give him the freedom to hold you accountable and speak into your life. If you feel like your lust is out of control, might I suggest a great website? http://www.settingcaptivesfree.com/home/ has online courses to help people find freedom from sexual sins, alcohol, smoking, overeating, gambling and more. Hope that helps! Yeah, I know. We're just getting settled into the church we're going to now and I only trust the Pastor and Administrative Pastor in the church. I don't feel like it's "out of control", but I do believe that I need an accountability partner in our church for all the aspects of my life. Thanks for the advice bro' and thanks for acting as a confirming voice to what God had already told me. I would still like to lift everyone else up in prayer on here though. Peace and God Bless.

LCannon -> RE: Men, Women and Sexual Lust (6/21/2008 12:29:10 AM)
That 'come on' look? Please. Guard your imaginations(or hormones). Like the old adage says, 'The first glance is a surprise, the second look is temptation and the third stare is entertainment.' James 1:13-" Let no one say when he is tempted, “I am tempted by God”; for God cannot be tempted with evil and he himself tempts no one; 14 but each person is tempted when he is lured and enticed by his own desire. 15 Then desire when it has conceived gives birth to sin; and sin when it is full-grown brings forth death."

mvic -> RE: Men, Women and Sexual Lust (6/21/2008 6:41:23 AM)
Hi WesleyGlenn, It takes courage to write as you did. Thank you and well done. Let me tell you a secret: the reason you feel like you do is because you are human. Everyone at one time or another felt the same way too; men and women, young and old, Christians and non-Christians. Oh yes ... Christians too! Some may not admit it because it tarnishes their image ... but that's up to them. OK ... enough biology lesson. I agree with you that prayer helps. And I'm sure everyone reading your post will pray for you as you request. What I am sure you realise is that there is a very thin line between lusting in private (in your mind) and actually moving on to the next stage as it were. The devil, (clever creature he), will play with the thoughts in your mind, bring forth more temptations, to the point where you will cross that line. And when you do you'll hurt your wife, your children and yourself too. And the devil will laugh all the way to the next poor victim. Sadly, I have no magic wand solution to offer you. There isn't one - except prayer. Pray when temptation comes your way. Genuinely (and I mean genuinely - not half-hearted) hand over the problem to God. Ask for His help. He won't let you down.

SonInMe1 -> RE: Men, Women and Sexual Lust (6/21/2008 7:44:55 AM)
www.thebarenakedtruthaboutsex.com. A sermon series my pastor gave on this subject. This is a big struggle for me as well.

WesleyGlenn -> RE: Men, Women and Sexual Lust (6/21/2008 8:49:16 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: LCannon That 'come on' look? Please. Guard your imaginations(or hormones). Like the old adage says, 'The first glance is a surprise, the second look is temptation and the third stare is entertainment.' James 1:13-" Let no one say when he is tempted, “I am tempted by God”; for God cannot be tempted with evil and he himself tempts no one; 14 but each person is tempted when he is lured and enticed by his own desire. 15 Then desire when it has conceived gives birth to sin; and sin when it is full-grown brings forth death." I fully understand the temptation aspect, thank you. I know where my weakness has been throughout my entire life. It has nothing to do with my "imagination" or "hormones". I'm married to a beautiful woman and have no need to look outside of our marriage for anything. It doesn't stop Satan from trying to throw the bait out there though. And it's not a "Come On" look, nor did I even say that. What I said was a "helllo" look. You can tell if a woman finds you attractive by the way they look at you. Sorry if that offends you or if you feel it comes off arrogant, but it's the truth. And thank you mvic and SonInMe1. I do find myself praying alot in those situations, I guess that I was just hoping they would stop altogether. I always pray that the Lord would allow me to see people as He sees the people. I'll also check out the sermon as soon as I get time. Thanks again.

Liveloved -> RE: Men, Women and Sexual Lust (6/21/2008 10:36:01 AM)
Hey, I really appreciate your openness and honest confession! Bless you. What you have done is what most believers don't---freely confess an area of sin with which they struggle. But I agree that you need a friend, other than cyber friends, to help you. But that said, I know that many, dare I say most?, do not find that kind of friendship in the church. I don't mean to sound like I am bashing church. But much of what goes on in the church visible is not church at all. And real fellowship which is what you are in need of, Wesley, is lacking. We all need someone with whom we can be truthful, who we can tell absolutely anything, and know that will remain in their confidence AND that they will go to the throne of grace on our behalf to help us. My prayer is that the Lord answers that need in your life. If we walk in the light as He Himself is in the light, we have fellowship with one another. And the blood of Jesus Christ His Son cleanses us from all sin. I John 1:7 True fellowship is defined as walking in the light where sin is exposed, confessed and healing can take place. Bless you, brother, for desiring true fellowship which is borne out of TRUTHFULNESS![:)]

deermousie -> RE: Men, Women and Sexual Lust (6/21/2008 11:06:36 AM)
Some really great responses here! To be human, adult and healthy means you have sexual desire. God made us that way. I don't know if before the Fall Adam wouldn't have been attracted to other women - there's no way of knowing since Eve was the only one. So maybe our sin nature makes us look beyond our marriages, but there sure a lot of loose people who'd willingly lead on a married person, and temptation is everywhere. Our culture is awash in unashamed sexual temptation. When that temptation comes, it's handled like anything else: we never "play" with ideas that we can't righteously act on. When the thoughts enter our heads, we have to push them right out again. Over and over. The temptation itself is not sin, just entertaining it is. It's a spiritual battle, and you have to do the right thing for the next five minutes. And the next five minutes after that, and the next five minutes after that. You get the idea. Thank God for the provision God gave you in your wife, and rejoice in her. Go read Song of Solomon in the OT. Read between the lines - it's been 'sanitized' for a general audience, but that's not what God meant. You're not imagining things, it really is a lot racier than most people think. Why not save up some lunch money, hire a babysitter, and take your beloved wife to a nice romantic restaurant next week? God bless you both!

Lufia -> RE: Men, Women and Sexual Lust (6/21/2008 11:31:08 AM)
I know it may sounds crazy but when i feel temptation near me i say Go away satan, in the name of Jesus, the One you fear and the One who has defeated you.

armydude -> RE: Men, Women and Sexual Lust (6/21/2008 11:35:12 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Lufia I know it may sounds crazy but when i feel temptation near me i say Go away satan, in the name of Jesus, the One you fear and the One who has defeated you. It doesn't sound crazy a bit. I know of a preacher that says, "If you don't embarrass sin, sin will embarrass you."

mvic -> RE: Men, Women and Sexual Lust (6/21/2008 1:28:49 PM)
If I may add something else: I have great concerns about discussing your problem with someone else (i.e. a real person rather than here in the Forum). If that person, sometime in the future, decides to talk .... I think you understand what I'm saying !

rcjames -> RE: Men, Women and Sexual Lust (6/21/2008 1:41:50 PM)
quote: ORIGINAL: WesleyGlenn It is truly a daily struggle and sometimes more frequent of a struggle in my thoughts. I read the Word and pray every day, but this is still a battle in my life. . Well what does the Scritpure say about this situation; (2Co 10:3) For though we walk in the flesh, we do not war after the flesh: (2Co 10:4) (For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty through God to the pulling down of strong holds;) (2Co 10:5) Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ; The New Testament plainly says that when those thoughts come to a believer that we are to bring those thoughts into captivity of the obedinece of Christ. So don't dwell on those thoughts, don't consider those thoughts, deal with those thoughts with the mind of Christ. A promise from God in this same area is; (1Co 10:13) There hath no temptation taken you but such as is common to man: but God is faithful, who will not suffer you to be tempted above that ye are able; but will with the temptation also make a way to escape, that ye may be able to bear it. That promise is that we do not have to succomb to the temptation (thoughts), but that God has made a way of escape. That way of escape is to bring those thoughts captive to the mind of Christ. As this ole country preacher teaches; "You cannot keep a pelican (bad thoughts) from landing on your head; but you do not have to let him build a nest. That is the promise of God towards Believers. So in actuality the struggle is only as long as you want it to be; for there is an instant way of escape; all you have to do is choose that way of escape. Thsnks RC

Stronger2day -> RE: Men, Women and Sexual Lust (6/21/2008 2:18:03 PM)
My hubby and I listened to a man speak once about his sexual sin and lusting after women. He said when the thoughts would come, he would imagine the cross and concentrate on Christ and it would replace the lustful thoughts/images. He and his teenage boys would also do things like during the super bowl turn away from the commercials that were filled with female temptation.

BlackCapnHarlock -> RE: Men, Women and Sexual Lust (6/22/2008 8:14:23 AM)
1. I don't think it's satan, I think it's you. 2. If you are a guy, go to the "Men's only Forum" and check it out.

BlackCapnHarlock -> RE: Men, Women and Sexual Lust (6/22/2008 8:28:50 AM)
quote: ORIGINAL: Stronger2day My hubby and I listened to a man speak once about his sexual sin and lusting after women. He said when the thoughts would come, he would imagine the cross and concentrate on Christ and it would replace the lustful thoughts/images. He and his teenage boys would also do things like during the super bowl turn away from the commercials that were filled with female temptation. I think this is the WRONG way to deal with this mess. The best success I have and have had are just be being honest. It's not a sin to be attracted to HOT looking women. That's what we are supposed to be attracted too, but we are supposed to be focused not to give in to lust. When I am around attractive women, I just keep my eyes on their faces and just keep my mind clear. It's weird unsaved guys just see it and move on, while we Christian guys wrestle to our own folly. We need to loosen up and not let Satan turn our desire into holiness into a strain. I used to be the same way . . . hiding, focusing straight, looking at walls, come on . . . just relax and always keep your mind stayed in the Peace of the LORD. The good thing is keeping it off your chest and letting others know how you feel.

bob97 -> RE: Men, Women and Sexual Lust (6/22/2008 9:53:04 AM)
Study the rate of STD's and when you are attracted to person ask yourself...what do they have that I don't want. I know it works for me...I still notice an attractive women but when I ask myself that question thats as far as it goes. Bob

Cloak -> RE: Men, Women and Sexual Lust (6/22/2008 9:53:23 AM)
Most people think that lust is something that only men struggle with. The truth is Men's struggles are women's struggles as well. I find that the best way to stay away from vulnerable sins is to stay away from them. For instance, in the case of sexual sin: Ever since many years ago, I Stopped watching movies with sexual contents, passionate love stories or novels, and simply anything that promotes or evokes these thoughts in my mind. The Bible is clear about this when it instructs us to "Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body." (1Corinthians 6:18 NIV). The most vulnerable and weak people toward sexual sin are definitely Christian Singles of Both Genders. I once fled in the middle of the movie theatre when I found out there was a graphic provocative sexual scene in the middle of the movie which I could not tolerate. It really takes too much hard work on our part - Christians - to be a true follower of the Lord Jesus Christ; otherwise we would be just like the rest of the world and of the world and no one can distinguish us form the rest of the world. Blessings!

terryjohn -> RE: Men, Women and Sexual Lust (6/22/2008 2:09:26 PM)
Scripture says that whatsoever is lovely, beautiful etc. think on such things as being of God and in some way revealing the Glory of God Himself. Now a beautiful woman is a marvel and you may well praise God for her. Now having fallen in love with a woman in Chirst it becomes very hard to want to dishonour her. As a young man after discovering this I could then imagine that I could only then marry someone that I did not admire as much, for only a lesser person could I wish to be lumbered with my weaknesses, inabilites and fears. Now far be it from a man not to notice the inherant beauty of a woman and you may well say it would be unwise to despise and even foolishness and even demonic to say that which is created by God is in someway evil. Nevertheless, a woman that would intentionally suppose that beauty lay in the cult body beautiful, rather than in the Spirit of Chirst is to be pittied above all else. Now the fact that she also causes us to be distracted is of concern and rather than do as the pagans do by banning women from our services, we as men need to learn to admire and value the woman not her appearance sake. For although her appearance is one thing, her personality, which by the way is diplayed in how she dresses, is more important. Hence, a woman who supposes that dressing provocatively in church is the thing to do is to be pittied, for is not such an idea foriegn to the gospel of Chirst? I guess if you were to lean over and tell her that she should go and sit somewhere else because her sexiness was causing you problems, we could all laugh but prehaps she would be offended as much as we should that she could dress in such a fashion. Nevertheless, I am asured that depite the muslims banning women from being seen by men, such lust is not abaited, in fact I am told it is magnified and leads to all manner of perversions. Now what would Chirst do? I am not sure but I suppose that He would love the woman like a older wiser brother and sin not. The one thing I have noticed is that the more such a woman dresses like this, the more likely she is to be introverted and as such less likely to fit in and able to make friends easily. I also remember Prince Charles saying that if he thought a woman was dressed inapporpraitely, he would say so, not in anger or to accuse, but simply to seek out her intensions or motivation. I guess men everywhere need to stop and think, are we really going to give up Christ, faith, honour, love and family and all for such women? I guess if we could be Christ and not who others expect us to be, we could help others more than we are allowed.

BibleL7 -> RE: Men, Women and Sexual Lust (6/22/2008 8:11:54 PM)
It is not all the enemy it is also our flesh, which as Scriptures tell us wars against the Spirit. One thing that helps at times is when you see the temptation, sing His praises. I know others may say that I say this too often but it does help. Find a worship song you know and just sing it in you mind any time you feel tempted or you are faced with a good looking woman in you sight. Though some times mentioning inappropriate dress to a woman may embarrass her many times particularly in church they do not care and will become accusatory saying you are just a sinner and not following the Lord or that you are just not spiritually mature. The main thing is to turn your thoughts towards Jesus. And if it is really tough to turn your eyes toward Jesus then turn them toward your wife. Just look at her and say to yourself you have the most beautiful woman in the world as your wife so none other could possibly compare. There is a song with the following chorus that pretty much says it; Turn your eyes upon Jesus look full in His wonderful face and the things of the earth will grow strangely dim in the light of His glory and grace. I sing this often to myself, whenever I am tempted. Yes reading the Bible and prayer are good for sure yet praising the Lord really seems to help take your mind off other things and onto the Lord.

ta_mosquito -> RE: Men, Women and Sexual Lust (6/22/2008 9:59:37 PM)
MODERATOR'S NOTE :: ATTENTION PLEASE I'm closing this thread, as forum policy dictates that sexual discussions aren't allowed in mixed company. Please go to the Men Only or Women Only sections to discuss sexual temptations, etc. Thank you! Tricia Forums Moderator Please do not reply to this message within the forums or chat. Please email Community@salemwebnetwork.com with questions, comments, or concerns. Please do not send me PMs regarding this message.

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