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RE: Why are you still single? - 7/29/2008 2:01:06 PM
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John_O
Posts: 8005
Joined: 9/5/2006
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quote:
ORIGINAL: iwillfearnoevil
quote:
ORIGINAL: offtheisland
I was told that for every 5 years you were married, you have to wait one year for remarrying.
there are all sorts of various groups putting out different numbers ... more commonly i hear 3 or 4 years per marriage year, othertimes you see flat numbers like 7 years ... you can look at census stats to see what people actually do but i think it's very dependent on the person and what they do during that time ... deny pain, withhold forgiveness, engage in unhealthy opposite sex relationships, etc or choose forgiveness, renew your mind, and draw closer to God ...
Good post Ed.
It depends on who you are and who you trust. Some folk who don't trust God could never be ready. Some folk who trust God and work at it could be ready in as little as a year. (Some exceptionally well balanced people even less).
Each of us needs to seek the Lord and have him let us know when we are ready.
_____________________________
Psalms 46:10 Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth.
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RE: Why are you still single? - 7/30/2008 8:18:02 AM
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Tehilah
Posts: 1
Joined: 7/30/2008
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A lot of factors contributed... first I wasn't sure I could date when I became a christian so turned down most requests to go out. was a pretty young fire brand christian
2ndly, I was on the shy side...you can put two and two together...
but I will say this though...guys don't be too desperate! you could end up with...
trust God to put your priorities in place and believe that He obviously has a better plan for you, eventhough it seems to be taking forever...well am working on believing this truth, because it is true, God has me (and you too) in mind. 
Tehilah
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RE: Why are you still single? - 7/31/2008 4:04:17 AM
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lilmisskimmer
Posts: 4
Joined: 7/31/2008
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This question caught my attention because it's one that's thrown at me more often than I can count. I think that others are sometimes more concerned about my status than I am.
I honestly don't know why I am still single. I could probably throw out a number of things that factor in.. like current life situation, location, or more personally I could analyze 'what is wrong with me or with men...' Until I'm blue in the face but I don't think blue is my color. Maybe it's a direct result of Divine intervention or timing.
Depending on the day or even which mood I am in will determine my response. Today i am pro- single life so my singleness is thus attributed to sheer genius & personal life choice. Tomorrow I might feel differently :)
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RE: Why are you still single? - 7/31/2008 11:48:08 AM
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offtheisland
Posts: 479
Joined: 7/17/2008
From: Central Florida
Status: offline
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Here's a situation I have right now. A gentleman that I have not talked to or seen in a few months contacted me last week via email. He mentioned that he would be in town visiting his parents and would like to see me. It is Thursday and still no call. Should I call him or brush this off?
_____________________________
My heart is steadfast, O God; I will sing and make music with all my soul.
Psalm 108:1
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RE: Why are you still single? - 7/31/2008 1:01:48 PM
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gaylel1
Posts: 1253
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: Southern California, the land of Fruit and nuts...
Status: offline
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Speaking of those who are why they are still single or now newly single, let's pray for Brittany Laurie. She lost her husband in a car accident which it will be a week ago and now she has a child on the way and one child already. I know that God's grace will substain her, but its hurts because she does not have a provider and they lost a leader in the home.
_____________________________
Hear "The Truth" with the "other"l Jeff Johnson(http://www.calvarydowney.org)
Visit me at http:www.gayleplace.blogspot.com or http://www.myspace.com/gaylel121
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RE: Why are you still single? - 7/31/2008 1:10:24 PM
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iwillfearnoevil
Posts: 4182
Joined: 11/6/2007
From: upstate NY
Status: online
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quote:
ORIGINAL: offtheisland
Here's a situation I have right now. A gentleman that I have not talked to or seen in a few months contacted me last week via email. He mentioned that he would be in town visiting his parents and would like to see me. It is Thursday and still no call. Should I call him or brush this off?
i think it depends on how much you like him. but maybe there is something about playing hard to get too, well maybe not hard to get, but making him work at some things lol. anyways is there any reason you can't email him back - like is he coming this weekend? or maybe you did email back, you didnt say.
_____________________________
Photoblogging My Life
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RE: Why are you still single? - 7/31/2008 2:02:23 PM
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offtheisland
Posts: 479
Joined: 7/17/2008
From: Central Florida
Status: offline
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I have been told by friends that I am too accommodating. So, I am hesitant to call him. I do like him, but do not want to "chase" him. I want to be chased. I emailed him back to tell him that he can call me and I would like to see him too. He went on holiday Friday, but did not say when he will be back on the computer/internet.
This being single thing over 40 is not fun. It would be nice to go out on dates, but the gents my age or over are not "fishing". The younger kids say, go ahead and make the move. The older ladies in my church say that it is not lady like to call a man. I do not know what to do...
_____________________________
My heart is steadfast, O God; I will sing and make music with all my soul.
Psalm 108:1
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RE: Why are you still single? - 7/31/2008 2:35:39 PM
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iwillfearnoevil
Posts: 4182
Joined: 11/6/2007
From: upstate NY
Status: online
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okay i think it's good you emailed back at least, the ball is in his court. if i was interested in a woman and asked about visiting and she replied back saying ito call and that she'd like to see me, that would be clear enough signal to followup or pursue.
_____________________________
Photoblogging My Life
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RE: Why are you still single? - 7/31/2008 4:00:24 PM
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gaylel1
Posts: 1253
Joined: 4/11/2005
From: Southern California, the land of Fruit and nuts...
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quote:
ORIGINAL: offtheisland
I have been told by friends that I am too accommodating. So, I am hesitant to call him. I do like him, but do not want to "chase" him. I want to be chased. I emailed him back to tell him that he can call me and I would like to see him too. He went on holiday Friday, but did not say when he will be back on the computer/internet.
This being single thing over 40 is not fun. It would be nice to go out on dates, but the gents my age or over are not "fishing". The younger kids say, go ahead and make the move. The older ladies in my church say that it is not lady like to call a man. I do not know what to do...
You don't know what to do? Why don't you leave this thing up to the Lord and give it to him. And the ladies are right about not chasing after this gentleman and may have told you so for good reason.
_____________________________
Hear "The Truth" with the "other"l Jeff Johnson(http://www.calvarydowney.org)
Visit me at http:www.gayleplace.blogspot.com or http://www.myspace.com/gaylel121
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RE: Why are you still single? - 7/31/2008 4:36:21 PM
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offtheisland
Posts: 479
Joined: 7/17/2008
From: Central Florida
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: Tinkerbell_
quote:
ORIGINAL: offtheisland
I have been told by friends that I am too accommodating. So, I am hesitant to call him. I do like him, but do not want to "chase" him. I want to be chased. I emailed him back to tell him that he can call me and I would like to see him too. He went on holiday Friday, but did not say when he will be back on the computer/internet.
This being single thing over 40 is not fun. It would be nice to go out on dates, but the gents my age or over are not "fishing". The younger kids say, go ahead and make the move. The older ladies in my church say that it is not lady like to call a man. I do not know what to do...
There is a difference between intiating contact with someone and actively pursuing him. There is nothing wrong with inviting him to coffee one evening after church, or mentioning a get together with friends that you think he might be interested in attending. That's intiating conversation and showing him that you are interested in more than just a friendship.
The rest however, IMO is up to him. If he's interested in you, and sees that you're interested it's up to him to pursue you.
I have always wanted to wait and have the guy make all the first moves but I've come to realise that sometimes they just don't get it and it's up to us to let them know, "Hey you! Yes you! I'm interested! Why don't you ask me out?"  After that it's between him and God. 
Good one! I will keep that in mind. Thanks for the input. The sea where I am fishing from has a small population. It seems like they are going extinct.
My pastor made a comment to me the other night. He wants me married in a year. I told him to start praying with me, then. We laughed.
_____________________________
My heart is steadfast, O God; I will sing and make music with all my soul.
Psalm 108:1
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RE: Why are you still single? - 8/1/2008 11:02:57 AM
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John_O
Posts: 8005
Joined: 9/5/2006
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: teaspoon61
quote:
ORIGINAL: John_O
Each of us needs to seek the Lord and have him let us know when we are ready.
Again - how does one know when they are ready?
Have you let go of all the expectations and broken dreams from your last relationship? Can you look at your new potential and appreciate everything about them? Or do you compare them to your last relationship thinking "They fall short here, they fall short there". Is your heart at peace moving on?
For me the big thing was letting loose of the baggage. When I felt baggage free then I knew I was ready.
_____________________________
Psalms 46:10 Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth.
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RE: Why are you still single? - 8/1/2008 11:15:26 AM
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offtheisland
Posts: 479
Joined: 7/17/2008
From: Central Florida
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: John_O
quote:
ORIGINAL: teaspoon61
quote:
ORIGINAL: John_O
Each of us needs to seek the Lord and have him let us know when we are ready.
Again - how does one know when they are ready?
Have you let go of all the expectations and broken dreams from your last relationship? Can you look at your new potential and appreciate everything about them? Or do you compare them to your last relationship thinking "They fall short here, they fall short there". Is your heart at peace moving on?
For me the big thing was letting loose of the baggage. When I felt baggage free then I knew I was ready.
After you loose yourself of the baggage, and you long for love again, you are ready.
_____________________________
My heart is steadfast, O God; I will sing and make music with all my soul.
Psalm 108:1
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RE: Why are you still single? - 8/2/2008 9:50:07 PM
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John_O
Posts: 8005
Joined: 9/5/2006
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: teaspoon61
The one thing that I've "held onto" is something he said when I realized it was over. As I was crying & begging him to go to counseling, to work things out & not throw away our marriage . . . . he looked at me with all the contempt he could show and said; "WHY?! I don't love you!"
Sometimes, it's like a broken record I can't shut off. I know it's just the enemy trying to bring me down. It's just . . . heartbreaking.
So now it's time to let that go. He didn't love you. His loss. And eventually someone else's major gain.
Why pine for someone who doesn't fit with you? Chalk the years up to experience, remember the good, forget the bad and move on. He has.
There is nothing you can do to change it (you tried). Now let go and live (and love) again
_____________________________
Psalms 46:10 Be still, and know that I am God: I will be exalted among the heathen, I will be exalted in the earth.
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RE: Why are you still single? - 8/3/2008 7:22:22 AM
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onthewayray
Posts: 44
Joined: 7/23/2008
Status: offline
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quote:
ORIGINAL: offtheisland
I have been told by friends that I am too accommodating. So, I am hesitant to call him. I do like him, but do not want to "chase" him. I want to be chased. I emailed him back to tell him that he can call me and I would like to see him too. He went on holiday Friday, but did not say when he will be back on the computer/internet.
This being single thing over 40 is not fun. It would be nice to go out on dates, but the gents my age or over are not "fishing". The younger kids say, go ahead and make the move. The older ladies in my church say that it is not lady like to call a man. I do not know what to do...
I'm a guy over 40 and still single It would not upset me if a lady called me. If I liked her I would go out with her.
The thing I dont like about dating is the game people play I said people becausr guys and gls play them.......I dont like playing them I am who I am and what you see is what you get.
If you ask God for peace in what you do He will give you the peace you want. Just keep in the center.
_____________________________
I am still being shaped by God.
Isaiah 64:8
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RE: Why are you still single? - 8/3/2008 6:22:20 PM
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Cloak
Posts: 4683
Joined: 1/4/2008
From: Canada
Status: offline
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Simply bc it's God's will, period!
_____________________________
Blessings!
And My God shall meet ALL Your Needs according to His glorious riches in Christ Jesus. (Philippians 4: 19)
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RE: Why are you still single? - 8/14/2008 12:13:48 PM
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nyst8ofmind
Posts: 54
Joined: 12/8/2006
Status: offline
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I single because the my STBX decided he didn't want the marriage any longer, and wanted to be friends instead. PTL I know that I am not cursed, and in time I truly believe God IS shaping someone for me and vice versa. When he first left the marriage I was plagued with thoughts that I'd be doomed to being along b/c he didn't want me. But I praise God for the Holy Spirit and the truth of His Word. I enjoyed being married and look forward to being in convenant again.
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RE: Why are you still single? - 8/16/2008 3:49:08 PM
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Hartjie
Posts: 3
Joined: 7/12/2008
Status: offline
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Why am I still single? I thought it was because I have rigid expectations: Funny, Someone I can talk to, Intelligent, Someone I find attractive (and vice versa), honorable, hard-working, kind, loyal....etc.
Then, I thought, well maybe God has a person in mind for me, I should have a little faith.
But then today, someone pointed out, that I am a cold person. I have never seen myself that way. I was hurt, but naturally had a witty comeback handy.
But I think that may partly explain why I am single, I am so afraid of being hurt that I always hold back. It has been such an integral part of my behavior, I haven't a clue how to be different.
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