RE: Why are you still single? (Full Version)

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Focusing -> RE: Why are you still single? (6/23/2008 2:33:49 PM)

Why am I still single?

Because I am not in a place in my life to get remarried. God is working in me, teaching me things He needs me to know, preparing me for my future. What that is ... only He knows.

I am trusting Him and not the least concerned about being married.



jeffnevins -> RE: Why are you still single? (6/23/2008 4:35:47 PM)

Good question.
I would hope not for lack of trying. It was once said it's not good for man to be alone. And to married rather than burn.
Done plenty of self-improvement physically, mentally & spitritually the past five years.

Maybe because it's a broken world/society. Or God wants me to pay for eHarmony. Or that's not His plan. Or it's not meant to be for 1 year. Or 25 years. Or the only woman who will go out with me is in Beijing. Or Milpitas. Or...
Yep, good question.



Ironworker -> RE: Why are you still single? (6/23/2008 7:06:31 PM)

PRISSY !!! No way That's like saying people who are married are perfect !!! Nobody is perfectly healed. No such thing as a perfect life. I'm hearing tons of married couples saying the grass isn't any greener on their side. Just different.



_prissy_ -> RE: Why are you still single? (6/23/2008 10:18:14 PM)

Ironworker, you're right. I just know that i am still very much hurt and I know God has some healing to do within me. I don't want to jump into another relationship before bein whole again.



bvmathrocks -> RE: Why are you still single? (6/24/2008 1:18:53 AM)

I think I am merely ignorant of the whole dating game. I was married for seven years. However, I've now been single again for another twelve. I don't know where to meet people, let alone men. Perhaps I am a little slow to warm up. However, even when I've visited churches in the town I live in, I've noticed that I am lucky to get that quick hello. Most people are too caught up in their own world to notice the ones sitting by themselves on the fringes.



DrivenbyGod -> RE: Why are you still single? (6/24/2008 1:55:00 AM)

I appreciate all the replies and encouragement.

I guess I don't actually believe I'm cursed, but I feel like every time I blow it that it's another mark against me - the reap what you sow thing. So, given that the bad out weighs the good I get this hopeless feeling at times that I'll never be worthy of such a blessing. I've prayed about this for years and have gone through some strange things that I don't understand. How does a person go from being pretty much an extrovert and talk to anyone to an introvert? I had this happen to me suddenly and I haven't dated since. It's been a very long time.

Thanks for the replies and I hope you all find the right person.

TF



shemaromans -> RE: Why are you still single? (6/24/2008 9:08:52 AM)

quote:

I guess I don't actually believe I'm cursed, but I feel like every time I blow it that it's another mark against me - the reap what you sow thing. So, given that the bad out weighs the good I get this hopeless feeling at times that I'll never be worthy of such a blessing.

This post reminds me of grace. None of us did anything to deserve it, but God saved us in spite of ourselves. As such, I don't think that God will withhold a boyfriend/girlfriend/spouse because of our sins.



sunluvingirl -> RE: Why are you still single? (6/24/2008 10:43:41 AM)

I am still single because, Praise God, He knew me better than I knew myself!![:D]



Bridgitt -> RE: Why are you still single? (6/24/2008 3:23:42 PM)

I am presently single because I do not want to make the same mistake I did when I got married the first time. My husband-to-be will be a true Christian and will love me like Jesus loves the church. I trust that God will put such a man on my path. I'm in no hurry, God's plans are the best. [:D]



gaylel1 -> RE: Why are you still single? (6/25/2008 10:35:54 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: totalfaith

Why do you think you're still single - is it sin in your life or something else? I struggle with a lot of things so I wonder if I'm just cursed by God sometimes and will never be blessed with a wife.


Cursed by God because you are single? That is ridiculous with a capital "R".

First of all you need to stop that thinking because no one who is cursed by God because of their singleness or sin in their lives. It is not so at all.

Many people are single because of a divorce or in my case, a loss of a spouse, or even they cannot find anyone because maybe it is not their season to be married as of yet because he wants singles to be of service and seek the kingdom and not let the world and even Christians who do not know any better dictate why they are single and then being castated and judged because they don't have a partner.

When I read that you thought that you are single because you are cursed by God is one of the most ridiculous things I have ever read.

Singleness is not a curse.

Stop buying into that thinking and start being a servant and seek his kingdom.




gaylel1 -> RE: Why are you still single? (6/25/2008 10:43:53 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: APreciousOne

I'm still single because I won't put up with being lied to and mistreated by so-called "Christian" men.


That's my story too, but guess what? these men were not walking with the Lord in the first place. Maybe God removed them from your life because he knows you deserved better. But he is also making you a woman who is desiable for a true worshipper.



gradstudent3 -> RE: Why are you still single? (6/26/2008 1:42:39 PM)

I think that is it extremely difficult to find a guy with Christian values that mesh with mine. I too have struggled with the "something must be wrong" identity being thust upon a 41 year old, never been married woman. I'm secure in my own skin and know who God has made me to be. I would sure enjoy having a man in my life to share it with - where does one meet these guys at anyway?[:)]



mutinywxgirl -> RE: Why are you still single? (6/26/2008 1:49:47 PM)

I'm 47 and in the same situation...........however, there are tons of them at my church - just don't know how many of them are around my age. (I go to a church of over 4K).



scottmandue -> RE: Why are you still single? (7/3/2008 6:30:08 PM)

I have no doubt that God is in control… however I struggle with the idea that He has given me the desire to be with someone however He has also “gifted” me with singleness.

I suppose I could say something bitter like “all the women I meet have a fantasy about being in a relationship but don’t actually have the time and commitment to do it”

But that would sound bitter... [;)]



WhiteRoseBlessings -> RE: Why are you still single? (7/3/2008 6:48:37 PM)

"still single"

For me, that implies that there is something wrong with being single.

I don't look at singleness as something that needs to be corrected or changed.

For me, marriage is not a goal to be attained.
If the right person comes along and we get married, great!
But if not, that's great too!

Blessings,
Sharon-Marie



[sm=redhairsmile.gif]



Godhead -> RE: Why are you still single? (7/3/2008 9:57:06 PM)

I have not found anybody yet who likes bald men with hairy backs [8D]



Ryan78 -> RE: Why are you still single? (7/4/2008 10:01:03 AM)

Why am I still single? I believe in one part I am just getting to a point in my life God wants me to be( spent years away) He has guided me here and now has made me strong enough to stand up for my beliefs. The second part is finding someone to help me with my walk not tear me down for my beliefs. It seems to me whenever you bring God into a relationship is when you normally lose the other half



ju-ju -> RE: Why are you still single? (7/5/2008 9:36:14 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: WhiteRoseBlessings

"still single"

For me, that implies that there is something wrong with being single.

I don't look at singleness as something that needs to be corrected or changed.

For me, marriage is not a goal to be attained.
If the right person comes along and we get married, great!
But if not, that's great too!

Blessings,
Sharon-Marie



[sm=redhairsmile.gif]


you said exactly what i could not put my finger on. and you are absolutely right.

i want to get to the place where i live what you just said, even in my heart. because, at times, i do long to be with someone and i hurt during times like that. i do feel like something really is wrong with me during times like that.

that is what i want to be free from COMPLETELY, from feeling like i've GOT to have someone to be someone. that's a dangerous place to be. but i know i must be "making progress" because i see it (the Holy Spirit showed me) and i am resisting it most of the time and just enjoying my single-mommahood and my single life.

and, actually, i just thought of something. why are we even designated and separated out as singles? like that is our label or something.

cuz i'm just ju-ju, a soul, not a non-married soul or a Caucasian soul or a mother soul......i'm just ju-ju, with Jesus in my soul. that's who i am! [:D]



WhiteRoseBlessings -> RE: Why are you still single? (7/5/2008 9:49:05 AM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: ju-ju

and, actually, i just thought of something. why are we even designated and separated out as singles? like that is our label or something.

cuz i'm just ju-ju, a soul, not a non-married soul or a Caucasian soul or a mother soul......i'm just ju-ju, with Jesus in my soul. that's who i am! [:D]
ju-ju, looks like you and I agree with each other on more than one thing. [:)]

. . . I really don't like labels; besides, so many of them don't fit me anyway . . . I'm either an introverted extrovert or an extroverted introvert; I'm either a liberal conservative or a conservative liberal. Technically, at the moment, I am a single, divorced widow. And etc., etc., etc., regarding labels.

The only label that I consistently use is that I am Sharon-Marie, Daughter of the Most High King.
Anything else really doesn't matter to me.




ju-ju (or anyone else), if you want to start a thread on this (so as to not further take this one off-topic), please let me know; I'd be interested in reading it. [:D]



ajlewis -> RE: Why are you still single? (7/5/2008 10:57:06 AM)

My answer is simple...

Who wants to marry me??



WaitingforBoaz -> RE: Why are you still single? (7/5/2008 12:55:12 PM)

I do not feel that singleness is a curse. God is allowing me to be here. He caused me to be here. Therefore, there is blessing in it somewhere.

I love to read about those who embrace their singleness and really don't give marriage/remarriage a second thought. You all are such an encouragement to me.

I can't say that that is where I want to be, just that I want to reach that level of contentment in my singleness, not so I can stay single, but so I can focus more thoroughly on what God wants me to do while I am. KWIM.



Ryan78 -> RE: Why are you still single? (7/5/2008 12:59:59 PM)

I agree why do we need a title saying we are single. seems like this world wants to label everything and everyone. and they wonder where dicrimination comes from. I'm single and for the time being I'm happy when the right one comes along I'll go from there. forget titles or denomination are we all not brothers and sisters in Christ. The only title I'll wear is yes I'm a christian.



Resonance -> RE: Why are you still single? (7/5/2008 2:03:02 PM)

Why am I still single?

Am I not supposed to be single right now? Huh? I'm confused. [8|]

For reals, now. I've been quite content being single these days. I haven't felt any of those pangs of loneliness, and I'm satisfied going about my day to day life. For the moment, that's probably all I need, because I don't seem to feel like I'm missing anything.

Either that, or I'm somewhere in the range of being incredibly patient to simply being easily satisfied. Who knows.

And my mother stands convinced that any man who would dare to marry me would be a brave one. This can be seen in either a positive or negative light. I just think it's darn funny. [:D]



ladybuglvr -> RE: Why are you still single? (7/5/2008 7:51:57 PM)

srry, I can't seem to quote. I like blazingson's dog! mine does the same thing anytime I have company over. guess I haven't met a dog person who could win him over![;)]
I myself, identify with the person talking about appeances! "love at first sight!" comes to mind as something that would never happen for me. I tooget that sick feeling in the pit of mystomach when I see happy families. I was at peace until a few months ago. my 30th birthday is nearing with no beau in sight other than my dog:)



ju-ju -> RE: Why are you still single? (7/5/2008 8:14:27 PM)

quote:

ORIGINAL: ladybuglvr
my 30th birthday is nearing with no beau in sight other than my dog:)


yep, same for me....my dachsund Caramel is the only man in my life these days! [sm=thumbsup.gif]

p.s. i looked for a doggy smiley and we have everything including a cow! no doggy smiley. (or maybe i missed it on there)



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