Cooking Bloopers 101 (Full Version)

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raspberry331 -> Cooking Bloopers 101 (6/21/2008 11:45:36 AM)

Even the best cooks will fess up to a kitchen mishap or two, whether it's the old salt-instead-of-sugar blunder or forgetting (and burning!) a casserole in the oven. Share all of your cooking bloopers here.



Kat_D -> RE: Cooking Bloopers 101 (6/21/2008 12:09:39 PM)

My kids still laugh about this one...

It was my daughters 5th birthday and we were planning a big birthday BBQ for her for about 50 people. When I asked what kind of a cake she wanted, she asked me to make a homemade white cake with strawberries and whipped cream.

I worked all morning on the day of the party, baking the cake from scratch. I had to quadruple the recipe and the cake was huge...I didn't have a platter large enough for it, so I glued about 5 sheets of very heavy cardboard together for a makeshift platter and covered it with foil. I got the cake onto the "platter" and finished covering it in the strawberries and whipped cream....it was beautiful, a true work of art.

I then loaded up the car with food and supplies and picked up the cake as we got ready to leave. It was so heavy I could barely carry it. I walked slowly to the car and as my daughter opened the rear door, the "platter" buckled in the middle from the weight and both sides of the cake slipped off onto the street.

The girls and I just stood there looking at the mess and I burst out crying. Needless to say, she ended up with a bakery cake that year.[:(]

Then there was the time when I was newly married and was so excited about making my husband a wonderful dinner, that I reached into the oven and took the baking pan out with my bare hands. Ended up in the ER with 2nd degree burns that time![:o]



Pauley464 -> RE: Cooking Bloopers 101 (6/21/2008 12:49:47 PM)

I don't recall any serious cooking disasters or faux pas, but like Kat_D I've burned myself on a number of occasions. The worst burn was during the Christmas season about 15 years ago and a friend of my mothers asked me to make her a raisin cream pie for their family. She is a terrible baker and her husband loves raisin pies. Well, I prepared the crust and had it in the oven blind baking while I worked on the filling. When the timer for the crust went off I pulled the crust out and put it on the stove top and finished the filling. Then I went across the room to get the crust and take it back to the counter. It had been out of the oven for less than 10 or 15 seconds and without thinking I picked it up without oven mitts.

Corning Ware pie plates make very impressive scars.



phosadaud -> RE: Cooking Bloopers 101 (6/21/2008 6:02:07 PM)

Well, I know this wasn't me, but I still laugh about it so I'll share anyway:

The young boys in the junior high home ec. class were making coffee cake. They mixed up the flour and the baking soda. I don't think I need to explain what happened... [:o]



uncabeeil -> RE: Cooking Bloopers 101 (6/21/2008 7:31:13 PM)

When I was maybe 12, my grandmother asked me to watch the lamb chops she was grilling. So I did. I watched them. I watched the flames grow higher and higher. She didn't say anything about turning or removing then. [sm=angel.gif] That's when I learned charcoal is good for the digestion.

I know I'm not the only one to explode a potato in the oven. Or the microwave.[sm=chef.gif]

I'm probably not the only one to mix up salt and sugar either.[sm=chef.gif]



Mrs.X -> RE: Cooking Bloopers 101 (6/21/2008 7:34:08 PM)

I was making gravy from pork roast drippings. I put my glass pan (that the pork roasted in) directly on the burner and added my chicken stock and stuff and got it bubbling pretty good. It was ready to be strained so I set the glas pan on the edge o f the sink to get the strainer ready, and the sink must have been so cold that it just shatter my pyrex into a gazillion pieces. And, to top it off my 11 month old was sitting 3 feet away on the floor. The glass and gravy didn't touch him, but my foot got cut and burned.



danas_mom -> RE: Cooking Bloopers 101 (6/21/2008 8:41:23 PM)

I've been cooking since I was about 5 yo (and I'm talking seriously cooking here, not just stirring something for mom LOL) so I know my way around the kitchen, but once as a teen I was making peanut butter cookies and for some bizaare reason read the recipe as a CUP of baking soda (or baking powder, which isn't any better) instead of a teaspoon. MERCY those cookies were nasty.

This isn't really a blunder, but it's a funny cooking story nonetheless so I'll share it. When I was 8 months or so pregnant with my youngest, I had a major craving for something rich and chocolatey. I looked up a fudge cake recipe that you cook in the crock pot which forms a hot fudge consistency layer in the middle. Sounded perfect. I got it all finished and pushed the crockpot to the side of the counter next to the fridge to cool while I fixed supper. I left the lid off so that it wouldn't form condensation and drip on the cake. I went to get something out of the fridge and bumped it a little too hard, and a huge vase we had sitting at the top fell off and shattered all over the place, including in my cake. It looked like I had sprinkled it with glitter. I cried and cried and cried over that lost fudge cake. (And don't think I didn't consider spooning the top layer off and taking my chances with the broken glass. [&:])

quote:

the sink must have been so cold that it just shatter my pyrex into a gazillion pieces.


That happened to my SIL once when we were over there for supper. She took a pyrex pan of broccoli cornbread out of the oven and set it directly on top of the stovetop with nothing underneath. Not sure why it shattered (hot glass on a hot stovetop) but that thing exploded and glass flew everywhere. Thank goodness nobody was near it.



woodwind228 -> RE: Cooking Bloopers 101 (6/21/2008 11:38:53 PM)

quote:

quote:

the sink must have been so cold that it just shatter my pyrex into a gazillion pieces.

That happened to my SIL once when we were over there for supper. She took a pyrex pan of broccoli cornbread out of the oven and set it directly on top of the stovetop with nothing underneath. Not sure why it shattered (hot glass on a hot stovetop) but that thing exploded and glass flew everywhere. Thank goodness nobody was near it.


Did she set it on a burner? I was making 2 batches of soap one day and put the 2nd glass container of lye solution on the burner of the stove and it busted too. I douced everything with vinegar for sure. The burner is still cold (if it wasn't used) even if the oven isn't.

Anyway, when I was a kid I thought I'd make a chocolate pie all by myself when my parents were out. I ****ed the pie crust and all, made my chocolate fillling and meringue and put in the oven to brown the meringue. I was so proud and when my parents got home I cut it up. Stupid me forgot to bake the stinking crust first! It's hard to mess up chocolate, but it sure doesn't taste good with raw crust. Blech! [:'(]



MyCatSmokey2006 -> RE: Cooking Bloopers 101 (6/21/2008 11:53:50 PM)

We were making au gratin potatoes from a box and had mixed it in a Pyrex casserole, then stepped away from it. It's a good thing we did, because when I turned around, I saw that it had burst, leaving cheesy potatoes and glass everywhere. [:o]

One of my relatives once made the mistake of substituting 2 tablespoons of lemon extract for the lemon juice in a jello salad recipe. Needless to say, it was inedible. [:o]

One time, when I was a child, I cooked hominy by opening the can and pouring it, liquid and all, into a saucepan and heating it up like we did all other canned vegetables. My mother came into the kitchen, took one look and said, "What is this?" When I told her it was hominy, she laughed a little, then drained off the liquid and fried it in butter, the way it was supposed to be cooked.[:)]



Tinkerbell_ -> RE: Cooking Bloopers 101 (6/23/2008 2:50:56 PM)

Let's see...I've not added enough liquid to cakes before and had them crack beautifully. [8|]

Once I made brownie in a glass pan and put the pan on the oven to finish making lunch. Turned on the burner for the green beans and walked away. Heard KA BOOM! and at first thought the kids broke my glass top table in the dining room.

My brownie pan exploded because I turned on the wrong burner. [8D] Glass was everywhere in my kitchen.

We had pizza for lunch that day. [:)]



phosadaud -> RE: Cooking Bloopers 101 (6/23/2008 4:23:14 PM)

Y'all are making me very nervous about my beloved pyrex... [&:]



crazedmom -> RE: Cooking Bloopers 101 (6/23/2008 7:29:59 PM)

Several years ago I was cooking one of those box mixes of potatoes you throw in the microwave and add water, milk and butter. I put it all in a microwave bowl, only I must have forgotten to add the water. I set the microwave and stepped outside to talk to a neighbor for several minutes. I ran back in the house when I smelled smoke. My whole house was filled with an awful smoke and I thought I was going to blow up my microwave. We had just listed our house for sale too. All I could think was how I was going to get rid of the smoke smell out of the microwave and the house!

It took a lot of scrubbing the microwave and airing out the house every chance we could get. I also boiled a lemon in water in the microwave many times. By the way, we did wind up selling that house. Thank God!

(I haven't bought a box mix of potatoes since!) :)



horsepill -> RE: Cooking Bloopers 101 (6/23/2008 7:53:37 PM)

I've learned you cannot substitute wax paper for parchment paper for use with baking. It's really not the same.

Speaking of paper, when you buy packages of sliced cheese (cheddar, provolone, swiss, etc.) that has those little paper squares between each slice, doubly check to make sure every paper piece is removed before putting the cheese on your bread to grill. For that first bite of paper adhered between your bread and cheese isn't the greatest of tastes.



3cappuccinosmom -> RE: Cooking Bloopers 101 (6/23/2008 8:30:50 PM)

Well, I have exploded my share of pyrex and potatoes (always, always poke potatoes with a fork before you bake them!!).

I have had countless baking endeavors end in a smoke filled kitchen either because I poured too much batter in the pan, or forgot the item was in the oven altogether. [&o]

I'm sure I will think of more if I sleep on it.



zoebob -> RE: Cooking Bloopers 101 (6/23/2008 9:00:30 PM)

My FIL once said that he never poked holes in his potatoes when baking and never had a problem. The very next week he had a potato explode



cinderella092003 -> RE: Cooking Bloopers 101 (6/24/2008 2:29:28 AM)

lets see:

Chicken wing batter and bisquick look the same, but when making biscuits, it's best not to mistake the wing batter for bisquick[;)][;)]

when trying to eat healthier, don't spend 10 dollars on rice pizza dough, 5 dollars on soy cheese, 3 dollars on organic pizza sauce, and try and choke down the 20 some odd dollars you just spent on one meal. It's not worth it. [:'(][:'(][:'(][:'(]

when using a glass water dispenser, make sure you leave enough time for it to cool of from soakiing in hot water, before you pour a bunch of cold water in it to make a double batch of Kool-aid. Rest assured the bottom will break as you go to lift it, and you will have kool-aid EVERYWHERE!!! [:@][:@][:@][:@]

Some things are not dishwasher safe!!!
[&o][&:][&:]


Last but not least, when seasoning food, check to make sure it is the kind with the lid that has holes before you go to shake it and inevitably dump the entire bottle on your food [sm=chef.gif][sm=frown.gif]



zoebob -> RE: Cooking Bloopers 101 (6/24/2008 10:24:14 AM)

quote:


Last but not least, when seasoning food, check to make sure it is the kind with the lid that has holes before you go to shake it and inevitably dump the entire bottle on your food


btdt



3cappuccinosmom -> RE: Cooking Bloopers 101 (6/24/2008 11:32:08 AM)

I have never been able to make fudge that set. Last Christmas I was going to make fudge and send it as presents to relatives, but I ended up having to put it in jars and label it as "fudge sauce". They very graciously all wrote and told me how wonderful it was. [&o]



Sideways -> RE: Cooking Bloopers 101 (6/24/2008 12:12:35 PM)

Maggie, you can send me some fudge sauce whenever you want to; it's wonderful on ice cream. [:)]



Kat_D -> RE: Cooking Bloopers 101 (6/24/2008 12:29:59 PM)

quote:

Some things are not dishwasher safe!!!


If that ain't the truth!!! I actually had a wooden spoon catch fire in the dishwasher when I placed it on the bottom rack. It must have gotten dislodged during the wash/rinse cycle and landed touching the heating element for the drying cycle. It even melted two of the little spindles that hold your plates upright.[:o]



pbaribeault -> RE: Cooking Bloopers 101 (6/24/2008 1:03:00 PM)

Early in my marriage I got a ** great deal ** on an organic chicken at the farmer's market. It was a bit scrawny-looking, but roasted beautifully for a dinner with my mom over.

I glared at my husband as he hacked it to pieces trying to carve it, silently nixing that 'the husband should carve meat' household rule.

And then we all started to chew our portions, and chew, and chew, and chew.

Have you ever tried to eat a roasted soup chicken? I can tell you where they got the idea for rubber chickens!



Kat_D -> RE: Cooking Bloopers 101 (6/24/2008 1:28:33 PM)

When I was first married, without thinking, I bought and cooked my Jewish husband a Ham for dinner!

*Just to let you know what happened...

-He looked in the oven when he got home from work and said, "WHAT is that?"

-I told him and as the word crossed my lips it dawned on me...Hams and Jews, not good!

-He stuck a fork in it and threw it out on the back lawn.

-I spent the night crying in the bedroom.



Miss Giggles -> RE: Cooking Bloopers 101 (6/24/2008 1:30:28 PM)

Well i guess you never did that again!

I have dropped stuff while taking it out of the oven. Thats it.



BJinWA -> RE: Cooking Bloopers 101 (6/24/2008 1:50:52 PM)

this is a story told by some dear friends long ago....

she was a young bride during WWII. he was coming home on leave from the army after just winning 3 pounds of butter in a poker game. telegraphs were expensive and you were charged by the word......so he telegraphs her---"arriving 10:30 train have 3 pounds butter"

so she is frantically trying to barter/sell her gas ration coupons and come up with the money to buy 3 pounds of butter. she laughed as she explained that she had no idea why he wanted 3 pounds of butter, but she sure was going to make sure he got it.

and yes, then they had 6 pounds of butter



doinkdom -> RE: Cooking Bloopers 101 (6/24/2008 3:23:52 PM)

left the giblets inside the first turkey I ever prepared - couldn't figure out where they were and totally freaked about making giblet gravy without giblets - mom showed me where they were, course the turkey was already cooked and the little brown wax paper was stuck inside [:D]

boiled eggs - forget they were boiling...exploded everywhere and smelled really bad [8|]

first time I made gravy, I left out the salt...can you say "plaster of paris?"[:'(]

since I'm still cooking, there will continue to be stupid things I do without thinking...so the list will continue [;)]



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