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RE: Slacking off excercising after marraige? - 6/30/2008 9:53:34 PM
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OneOfHisJewels
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From: California
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quote:
quote:
and when women go through pregnancy they can gain weight, and it can be challenging to take it off.
It's kind of inevitable to avoid that during pregnancy. However, there is such a thing as a healthy and non-healthy weight you can gain during this process. I've read that 20-30 pounds is a healthy weight gained during this time.
Yes, and SOME women get very ill, get put on bedrest, and have other health problems along with the pregnancy that sometimes help them gain more than average. I've heard of other women that after pregnancy weigh the same or less than pre pregnancy. But, you don't know before hand how this will be.
_____________________________
Now thank we all our God, with hearts and hands and voices, what wondrous things He's done, in whom the world rejoices.
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RE: Slacking off excercising after marraige? - 6/30/2008 9:56:01 PM
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OneOfHisJewels
Posts: 2675
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From: California
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quote:
Then there are people like me who gained weight due to an illness, and are working hard to take it off, but it's taking a while.
I was chunky for the majority of my life, so I get that, too. But based on motivation and encouragement, it can be done with time. Nobody should let themselves get in such a shape, provided you're not diagnosed with an illness that prevents it.quote:
Just pretend the words below are out of the white box. I'm messing up here, somehow.
That sounds very judgmental to me. Did I not say that I DID go through an illness which caused most of my weight gain, and that I'm working hard to take it off....not to mention I already have taken some of it off.
< Message edited by OneOfHisJewels -- 6/30/2008 10:04:21 PM >
_____________________________
Now thank we all our God, with hearts and hands and voices, what wondrous things He's done, in whom the world rejoices.
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RE: Slacking off excercising after marraige? - 6/30/2008 10:02:14 PM
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OneOfHisJewels
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From: California
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quote:
quote:
And I would hope that you would make an effort to be loving toward your wife even if she's got some baby pounds on her.
I'll still think she's the most attractive person alive when we're racing in our wheelchairs. As encouraging as I'll be during her pregnancy, I plan to be as much as encouraging to help her lose it afterward.
If you do it in a way that you are cheerleading her as she herself is trying/wanting to lose the weight (like Harvie's huband), than that is fine. If you are critical of her, nagging to her, insulting of her, and making her feel less loved because of the weight, then that is BAD. Remember how Christ loved the church.
_____________________________
Now thank we all our God, with hearts and hands and voices, what wondrous things He's done, in whom the world rejoices.
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RE: Slacking off excercising after marraige? - 7/1/2008 12:16:59 AM
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Christian30
Posts: 204
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From: Stafford, TX (Houston suburb)
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I'm getting in this late, but will put in my $.02. The reason I hear for decrease in exercise (and stated many times here) is taking the time away from family to do it. I can sympathize with that. We had 3 babies in 3 years and quickly had very sick/dying parents to manage. However, we (expecially me) never stopped exercising. I have exercised nearly every day during my marriage. I could have used the excuse of time but I didn't. Surprisingly I did not have much self discipline.
Here's the situation with us. In our marriage we are both very prone to depression and anxiety. For me the exercise is a daily need, and not doing it is like saying I want to be nervous, listless, can't concentrate, sometimes angry, and be much more prone to migraine headache. My immune system also breaks down quickly with no exercise. So it's not just gradul weight gain for me, but things that happen immediately. People think I have much self discipline, but I don't, just build-in motivators that kick in within about 36 hours.
As a result though, my wife weighs less than when we married, and I weigh just about 10 pounds more, considering most people thought I was underweight anyway.
All of this to say, it's the priority of the exercise. You can even run in place in your home. I've exercised with high fevers, which I would advise no one to do.... just a greater need for the behavioral health than the physical.
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RE: Slacking off excercising after marraige? - 7/1/2008 12:41:15 AM
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Roberta_
Posts: 6968
Joined: 9/28/2007
From: East Bay Area
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There are also issues of age that can cause weight gain and there are medications that can cause weight gain. I'm dealing with both issues right now.
At 5'7" I was 112 when I graduated from high school. On my 28th birthday I gave birth to my fourth (and youngest) child. I weighed 135 and struggled to keep that weight on.
From 38 to 40 years old I went to about 150 and stayed there until about a year and half ago. Then I went on medication. Now, I'm 43 and weigh 200 and would love to figure out how to loose it.
I didn't let myself go.... life happened to me.
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RE: Slacking off excercising after marraige? - 7/2/2008 4:06:07 AM
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DreadPirateRandy
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quote:
ORIGINAL: OneOfHisJewels
That sounds very judgmental to me. Did I not say that I DID go through an illness which caused most of my weight gain
Judgemental? How so?
I said, "provided you're not diagnosed with an illness that prevents it."
Meaning, if you have some illness that results in weight gain, it makes it inevitable. If anything, I was giving you the benefit of the doubt.
quote:
ORIGINAL: OneOfHisJewels
If you do it in a way that you are cheerleading her as she herself is trying/wanting to lose the weight (like Harvie's huband), than that is fine.
I can't imagine her wanting to keep the weight on. Pregnancy should never be an excuse to let yourself get into such a shape that it seems impossible to overcome.
_____________________________
The lunatic, the lover, and the poet, are of imagination all compact.
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RE: Slacking off excercising after marraige? - 7/2/2008 10:23:45 AM
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Auben
Posts: 1611
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From: Where pines tower and cranberries float
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Inevitably priorities change in life for everyone. Life is not static.
Many people who work out and never marry or never have children keep on the same schedules. There's no reason to change. It's a part of their hobbies and supports their self-worth.
When people get married or have children they are making a major life change. Ditto Deaths, Moves, or Career Changes. You have to expect that other issues can and will come up. Sometimes working out is judged less important than time with your spouse or working on the house or work or children or other hobbies. Everyone has to make the decision of what is most important to them. Their interests and self-worth are supported by other people/things.
Also, having a partner you trust...someone who accepts you at all times...makes people very comfortable. If someone loves you like that it makes it easier to let working out slide, especially if you have an overabundance of things/people who need your time.
People set their own priorities. It's not 'slacking off.' Just assume they have new things which fulfill them and take up their time. If working out is important to you then always find a way to do it, but never say 'I will never do that.' Someday you could be caring for an ill parent or child and find yourself reexamining your priorities. Life is not static. Flexibility is needed.
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Tamara
~Everywhere is walking distance if you have the time~
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RE: Slacking off excercising after marraige? - 7/2/2008 11:07:08 AM
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freakofnature
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I have four children... all school aged... so during the school year it is homework homework...homework and uh... homework. By the time I get homework assistance out of the way... which generally happens after dinner, which usually ends at 6p.m. it is very often 8:30 or 9 p.m. I work at my office, 8-10 hours a day. My wife works 9-12 hours a day... So then when I am done with homework, it is usually clean up dinner time for me and the kids since my wife has to be at work at like 5 or 6 a.m.. So yeah, I am out of "Shape" and my "shape" is round. My family history is that everyone in my family, with very little exception, is over weight, our family isn't known for having great metabolism. So when the skinnies of the world look me over and uh...SIZE me up for being lazy... I wish they could come and spend but a day in my life.
The weekends are dedicated to everything that I can't get done Monday through Friday, yard work, soccer practice/games, tennis practice/games, Football and golf, (not for me my kids all do different sports) Oh and then there is dance class, church events, I play on the worhsip team at church, so there is church band practice.... Go ahead, look at me and snicker that I am a fatty fatty two by four... You couldn't keep up with me and my family if you tried.
EDIT-
I will also like to add that one of the things that my wife and I do together is food, we love food. It is a passion of sorts, we love trying different foods, different restaurants, new recipes and all. And then with all I have to do with the family... I enjoy my sleep.
< Message edited by freakofnature -- 7/2/2008 11:17:46 AM >
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RE: Slacking off excercising after marraige? - 7/2/2008 11:23:14 AM
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Roberta_
Posts: 6968
Joined: 9/28/2007
From: East Bay Area
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quote:
ORIGINAL: GrapeApe
Pregnancy should never be an excuse to let yourself get into such a shape that it seems impossible to overcome.
There are also other things that go along with having a baby, like PPD. If a woman is depressed, she may gain weight. Unfortunately, antidepressants may make her gain even more weight.
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RE: Slacking off excercising after marraige? - 7/2/2008 4:06:02 PM
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macokjc
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What I first saw this thread I politely thought "You got to be kidding me!" If this is the only thing in life you have to worry about, then you've got it pretty good. In my family, we excercise to be healthy, not to be "in shape or fit." You have to deal with life in moderation. I had 4 children in 5 years. My first two were 11 months apart, and I had morning, noon, night sickness for almost 6 months with all of them. It is very hard to feel like excercising when you are taking care of other children and puking all of the time. Then when the children are on the outside, it is very hard to take them hiking, biking, swimming, etc. Walks are easier, but not always much excercise. Oh yes, you can make it your priority, but until you are actually married and juggling kids with multiple schedules you really don't know how hard it is. How does that saying go? "Unless you walked a mile in their shoes................"
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RE: Slacking off excercising after marraige? - 7/2/2008 4:16:39 PM
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OneOfHisJewels
Posts: 2675
Joined: 8/9/2007
From: California
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quote:
What I first saw this thread I politely thought "You got to be kidding me!" If this is the only thing in life you have to worry about, then you've got it pretty good. In my family, we excercise to be healthy, not to be "in shape or fit." You have to deal with life in moderation. I had 4 children in 5 years. My first two were 11 months apart, and I had morning, noon, night sickness for almost 6 months with all of them. It is very hard to feel like excercising when you are taking care of other children and puking all of the time. Then when the children are on the outside, it is very hard to take them hiking, biking, swimming, etc. Walks are easier, but not always much excercise. Oh yes, you can make it your priority, but until you are actually married and juggling kids with multiple schedules you really don't know how hard it is. How does that saying go? "Unless you walked a mile in their shoes................"
THANK YOU!!!! That was kind of the point I was trying to make, but I haven't lived it, so you said it better.
All that being said, with all the people talking about not having time to go
OUT and exercise, it seems to me like a treadmill would be a good investment for a couple..one could be kept at home and used more than once during the day for 5 or 10 minute chunks at a time.
_____________________________
Now thank we all our God, with hearts and hands and voices, what wondrous things He's done, in whom the world rejoices.
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RE: Slacking off excercising after marraige? - 7/2/2008 8:25:47 PM
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OneOfHisJewels
Posts: 2675
Joined: 8/9/2007
From: California
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quote:
Had one. Used it all the time at first. Then it broke and we couldn't afford to fix it. It became a very expensive coat rack.
The same thing happened to me, but I didn't get if fixed because my mom started paying for a gym membership for herself and me not too long after, so it wasn't really needed. However, if she hadn't done that, I would have saved a few dollars every paycheck until I could pay to get it fixed. Would it have been totally impossible for you to do the same?
_____________________________
Now thank we all our God, with hearts and hands and voices, what wondrous things He's done, in whom the world rejoices.
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RE: Slacking off excercising after marraige? - 7/3/2008 5:22:25 AM
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Liveloved
Posts: 1889
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I think it is important that we always looks our best. And I do see it as a God honoring choice I need to make.
We all have lives but our lives are made up of choices. We have the time for the things that we choose as important. God says redeem the time. So if being physically fit is a priority (which I think it is), you will have the time to accomplish it.
Physical exercise and healthful eating are both important to our wellbeing. Our children need to see and learn from the choices they see us making. Fresh fruits and vegetables are abundant and there are wonderful recipes---each meal can be a feast of flavors as well as good nutrition and healthful for our bodies! But it is a choice and must be a priority to make it happen.
So I would say that the slacking off comes down to it not being a priority. That probably won't be a popular answer. But I think it a true one.
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RE: Slacking off excercising after marraige? - 7/3/2008 9:40:35 AM
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HenriettasCat
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Here's how a walk goes when I have my kids with me.
Once we have got out of the house (which is a trial in itself). Walk at snails pace whilst holding little ones hand. Bigger brother (5) sees a tree to climb, little ds sees some ants he wants to watch. Shivvy them along another 50 yards. One sees a stick - the other boy wants it - little tussle breaks out. We all look for stick for second ds. Both boys have big sticks to drag behind - this slows them down even more. DS 1 is hungry, ds 2 is thirsty. Ds 2 needs a pee NOW. I look for a discreet bush to dive behind. Then we see a squirrel - ooh look there's the park. I push boys on swings etc. Time to go home. Total distance about 500 yards. Time taken 1 hour. Calories burned - 15. Tiredness levels - pretty high.
Get the picture - I don't really get a whole lot of exercise during the day and by the time my angels are tucked soundly in thier beds I'm either catching up with housework or closing my eyes as well.
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RE: Slacking off excercising after marraige? - 7/4/2008 11:09:47 AM
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willfs
Posts: 332
Joined: 12/28/2007
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quote:
ORIGINAL: macokjc
What I first saw this thread I politely thought "You got to be kidding me!" If this is the only thing in life you have to worry about, then you've got it pretty good. In my family, we excercise to be healthy, not to be "in shape or fit." You have to deal with life in moderation. I had 4 children in 5 years. My first two were 11 months apart, and I had morning, noon, night sickness for almost 6 months with all of them. It is very hard to feel like excercising when you are taking care of other children and puking all of the time. Then when the children are on the outside, it is very hard to take them hiking, biking, swimming, etc. Walks are easier, but not always much excercise. Oh yes, you can make it your priority, but until you are actually married and juggling kids with multiple schedules you really don't know how hard it is. How does that saying go? "Unless you walked a mile in their shoes................"
I don't see anywhere in my quotes where I state that "keeping a good physique" is the the only reason to excercise. I just wonder if is the reason many singles excercise and then they slack off after marriage because they have nabbed someone. (Which is why I placed this originally in the singles thread)
I don't see anywhere in my posts where I pretended like this subject was more important than other problems.
I don't see anywhere in my posts where I was condemning of those who do not excercise after marriage. I mentioned that I understood there were some very good reasons for this to occur. I only wanted to know why this occured.
quote:
ORIGINAL: willfs
I work out all the time. Partially because I like being in shape, partially because I like being outside, partially because of how it makes me feel, partially because I get to excercise (tennis, biking...etc...) with friends, and partially because I like how it makes me look and I hope that my physique is attractive in order to attract someone with a good physique.
quote:
ORIGINAL: willfs
I haven't ever been married so I do not know.
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ORIGINAL: willfs
Well, I am not speaking out of experience but my imagination when it comes to marriage. I imagine if I get married it will be to someone who I don't mind getting "out of shape" and vice versa. Kinda like when a guy tells the gal he doesn't mind seeing her without her make up and in her worst scrubs. He really really likes her anyway.
So I figure once one gets married they might go into the above phase. Other factors come into play like the amount of time and energy you now have to spend on your marriage and/or family. You also probably realize that trying to look like someone on baywatch isn't as important as you thought it was to a relationship. So certain things go by the way side.
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